AN: Okay so my goal was to actually have this up last week. I didn't get it finished because my muse thinks it's funny to abandon me. I hope this chapter doesn't suck too much. I feel like parts of it are rough. But I still hope you like it.

Please let me know what you think.

August 19, 2005 (Friday)

The weeks passed and Rory was slowly feeling less sad. She had her good days and her bad days, but there was slowly becoming more good than bad. She wouldn't go so far as to say she was happy, but she was better. She could even stand to be around her family; sometimes she found herself seeking out their company. She had even started to meet up with Luke and her bother once a week in Stars Hollow.

It was hard the first time she met up with them; Caleb looked so much like their mother that it was almost painful to look at him. Rory had felt herself losing it, but luckily Finn was with her and able to calm her down. She had asked him to come so that he could be there in case she needed him. She was glad he had accepted the invitation. Finn had a weird calming effect on her. All it really took from him was a reassuring hand squeeze and she was able to calm down. She knew that if he was there with her she would be okay.

After the first time it became easier to see Luke and Caleb, and she was soon able to visit them without Finn's attendance; though she never minded if he wanted to tag along.

She had notice that Finn was becoming a permanent fixture in her life. Not that she was complaining; quite the contrary. She like that she had someone who knew what she was feeling, someone who wasn't telling her she needed to move on, but reassuring her that it was okay to feel what she was feeling.

Finn had even encouraged her to seek help for her alcohol and drug dependence. "I know it seems like a pot calling the kettle black, but depending on any substance to get you through your day is not good," he told her one day.

She had ended up joining a personal loss support group. They met every Monday and with the combined support of the group and Finn she had been able to stay away from the bottle and the pipe.

After the Sunday dinner at her grandparent's, Rory and Finn had started their own weekly meal tradition. Every Friday they would go out to lunch together and just talk. He never pressured her to talk about feelings; in fact he would do most of the talking. She would listen to his stories about his summer job or stories about his childhood or just what he wished to do with his future. No matter what he talked about Rory would find it interesting.

Today, like every other Friday, they were at their favorite little bistro that was just a couple miles away from her grandparent's house. Finn had always made it a point to stay close to her home just in case she felt a breakdown approaching.

It had happened the second time they went out. They were at Jody's, the diner she and fFinn first went to, when Rory heard voice, very similar to her mother's, ranting about how coffee was liquid life. The woman had even looked very similar to Lorelai. It had taken Rory weeks to get the nerve to go back out. Finn had convinced her to come back to lunch with him by telling her that they would go someplace else and stay close to home.

Rory had ordered the same thing she always got, a turkey sandwich with kettle chips, and Finn had had made it to the fourth item on the salad menu, the grilled chicken salad with almonds and cranberries. He had vowed he would try everything on the menu. According to him, people get stuck in a loop where they say they'll try new things, but just end up doing the same thing they've always done. He was determined to start trying new things, starting with his meals.

"How's the salad?" Rory asked between bites.

Finn shrugged, "Not as good as the Caesar last week. I don't think I like cranberries in my salads." His nose crinkled as he took another bite.

She smiled. "Makes sense, remember the first salad had strawberries and blueberries and you could hardly get through it."

Finn nodded. "There are certain fruits that belong in salads, My dear friend the tomato, and ones that belong elsewhere. Berries belong in pies and jams."

Rory and Finn talked easily through the rest of their meal. Finn paid the tab and they made their way outside. She was just about ready to check this off as another incident-free day until she saw a familiar blonde walking towards them. Her stomach dropped as she made eye contact with Logan.

"Hi," she managed to squeak out when he stopped in front of them.

"Hi," he responded back.

Finn looked from her to Logan then back at her. "I have to errands to run on this block. I may be a while. Why don't you two walk and talk and I will meet you back here in an hour?"

Rory nodded. She didn't like the prospect of Finn leaving her alone with Logan, but she knew that they needed to talk.

Finn took off in one direction, while Rory and Logan took off in the other.

They walked in silence for several minutes.

Logan was the one who finally broke the silence. "So you look good."

She didn't know how to respond to that so she just nodded. The awkwardness was unbearable. She hadn't seen or talked to Logan since the night she went to ask him for drug money. It was something that she now felt very ashamed of.

When she didn't say anything, Logan continued, "So school is starting back up soon, do you think you are going to go back?"

Rory knew that people would soon start to ask her questions like this. Honestly, she wasn't ready to go back. She didn't know if she could handle the stress just yet. Finn had brought it up once or twice, but quickly changed the subject when he saw how uncomfortable the topic made her.

Seeing that Logan was waiting for an answer, she gave the most honest answer she could, "I don't think I'm ready for that yet."

Logan stopped walking and turned to her. "Not ready? How can you not be ready? It's been over six months, Rory. You have to get back to your life."

Rory felt frustration build up in her chest. She thought that they were going to be able to have a peaceful conversation. "I am working on it, Logan." She was trying to keep her voice even. "I can't just flip a switch and be better."

Logan scoffed, "Oh but you're better enough to go on dates."

Confusion masked Rory's face, "What in the hell are you talking about?"

"You and Finn. Last I knew we were a couple still. I mean, we never officially broke up. Now I catch you on a date with one of my friends."

Rory felt her face grow warm from anger. She stepped towards Logan, "You know nothing about mine and Finn's relationship. He has done more to help me than anyone else. And how can you claim we are still together when neither of us has seen each other for months?" She crossed her arms over her chest and waited for his reply.

Logan ran his fingers through his hair. "It's not like you tried to call me or anything."

"Same to you," She bit back.

"I was waiting for you," he defended. "You are the one who kicked me out. You are the one who told me to not come back. Then you show up to my apartment asking for money, and I'm supposed to just hand it over."

Rory let out a sigh. "Look, I'll admit, I was in the wrong when I came asking for money," she said apologetically. "I'm in a program now to help me get past my using, but I will not apologize for asking you to leave. You kept trying to force me to do things that I wasn't ready to do. You kept insisting that I should just get over my mother's death and that I should be better, like I had a choice." Rory felt the tears threatening to spill. "You couldn't just be there for me. You couldn't just hold me. You wanted to fix me, to make me like I was before, but I won't ever be like I was before." The tears were flowing now. "I have lost part of my soul Logan, and I won't ever get it back. I have to learn to cope with that, but I cannot just be better. It is going to take me a long time."

Logan was quite. He looked like he was processing all of what she just told him. After a few moments he spoke, "I won't lie and say I understand. I guess since I've never been through this I have no know what you are going through. But I can say that I will stop asking you to get better. While I do understand that we are probably never going to be a 'we' again, I would like to try to be there for you, you know, if you ever need someone."

Rory managed a soft smile. "I'd like that."

Logan pulled her in to a hug and then stepped back. "I'll see you around Ace."

Rory watched as Logan walked away. She felt like she should be sad, upset, something that their relationship was officially over, but she wasn't. She was actually relieved that this moment was done, that she no longer had to wonder what she would say to him, or what would happen the next time she saw him.

She felt a familiar arm wrap around her shoulder. "Everything good luv?"

She nodded, "Yeah, things are getting better."