Chapter XII
Grace Porter looked around her infirmary, honey brown eyes taking in the relative peace of it all.
Colonel Sheppard's had team filled the relatively small space and had been spread out around it with a nurse or PA taking each person in turn. Teyla, Ronon, and Rodney had been cleared almost as soon as they had entered, as had the woman called Rose who traveled with the alien called the Doctor. Since none of them had been injured, they had been scanned to ensure that nothing untoward had followed them home and then they'd been told to do something else with themselves while Grace and her staff worked on the other three. Surprisingly, most of them had listened. Only Rose had chosen to remain behind. She now stood beside the Doctor's bed, her eyes traveling between her friend and Carson who sat before Grace looking pale and in pain.
As she silently wondered what the girl's interest was in Carson, Grace proceeded to check her boss over. Having argued himself vehemently out of a gown, he'd changed into a set of scrubs and now half sat, half laid on the bed waiting for her to begin. She decided to start with the obvious injury and moved to examine his side.
Having been there when the Colonel and the Doctor had been examined, she knew what had caused the wound and that there wasn't much she could do for it or him. She disinfected it as gently as she could and then applied a small amount of cream to soothe the burned skin before she covered the whole thing with a gauze bandaged. Whereas the Doctor and the Colonel's wounds had been quite deep, Carson's was, thankfully, not. It was deep enough that he'd been feeling the injury for quite some time but it wouldn't necessarily hamper him in any way. At least, she amended, none that he would allow.
After finishing with his side, she briefly glanced at his face, stopping when she noticed a hand-shaped bruise around his neck.
"What happened there?" she asked as she gentle palpitated it.
"The queen wasnae happy with the answers I gave her."
"She tried to choke you?" Grace asked, appalled. Not that the wraith hadn't done worse; they just hadn't done worse to Carson that she was aware of. He winced, either from the memory or from the pain of the deepest of the bruising, and she withdrew her hand.
He nodded but didn't say another word and so she changed her attention to his foot which was a bit swollen.
"Did a lot of running, did you?" she commented lightly, knowing that he had. She'd treated him often enough after he'd healed to be able to spot when he hadn't been taking care of himself. She was actually surprised that he'd walked in here under his own steam, honestly. Grace could remember a time when she'd had to physically help him into the infirmary because he hadn't been able to do it on his own.
"Not by choice, love, I can promise ya that," he answered, sounding somewhat relaxed and vexed at the same time.
"Oh, I'm sure," she said as she began to make sure that nothing had changed since he'd left.
This particular injury was the main reason why Carson didn't go off world anymore. The amount of exercise alone could end up being too much for him which could in turn endanger the others in the right circumstances. Grace had been, let's say, less than pleased when she'd been informed by Doctor Weir that he would be joining the team today. Her unease had only grown after having talked with the Doctor and his companion after she'd explained why she and her staff had been watching their boss so closely.
Evidently, the Doctor's adventures were never light. They always seemed to involve both him and his friend running for their lives or the lives of others and that was something that Carson did not need. Yet, the Timelord had insisted that Carson was key in his negotiations with the wraith queen and so she had kept her mouth shut. She'd wanted so much to tell someone to look out for Carson or warn someone else of punishment if something happened to her boss but neither was professional or her place.
Carson Beckett was CMO of Atlantis. Which meant that he was not only Grace's boss but the boss of every medical professional on Atlantis.
As far as Grace was concerned, it sucked. Not long after arriving on Atlantis, she had felt feelings stirring within her for him. His striking blue eyes and easy manner had grabbed her attention with ease, just as they had done with a lot of females, and some males too, on Atlantis. She hadn't had time to explore those things further, however, when he had gone off world with Colonel Sheppard and had come back badly hurt, though not dangerously.
Throughout the next year, she slowly got to know him. She learned a variety of things from his temper to his docile manner. She learned how high his pain tolerance was thanks to his sheer stubbornness and refusal to admit when he was hurting. And she learned how sharp he could truly be when he was angry. But she also learned about him. He told her about his mother and the family that he had left behind after having received a letter from them. Naturally he hadn't told them that he'd been injured, but apparently he wrote to them whenever he could, in spite of his busy and draining schedule, and so he always had a letter or ten to receive whenever Colonel Caldwell swung by. She shared his joy when he'd been told of a new niece or nephew and she'd shared his sorrow whenever a friend or loved one had died. After having heard about the amount of love he had for his mother, Grace hoped that she never died. It was irrational, of course, but she couldn't help it. The grief alone would probably crush him and Grace didn't think she could bear to watch that.
As Carson became more mobile, she'd backed off of her care. She let him know that she was always there if he needed her but she also gave him his space and didn't pester him, no matter how much she wanted to. He had been thankful for it, however, and soon she'd found him seeking her out, enjoying her company as much as she enjoyed his. She knew they had become friends then but her heart had decided that she wanted more.
But she wasn't willing to push for it yet and so she remained silent, making do with his friendship while she could. Many of the nurses knew of her true feelings, of course. They were her closest friends next to Carson and whoever hadn't already guessed was told when she finally chose to admit it to them. They all encouraged her to be honest with him, almost going so far as to assure her that he felt the same, but she couldn't do it. Not yet at any rate. So she waited, hoping she hid her feelings better than she actually did.
Carson cut of a sound of pain as she pressed near where damaged bones were and Grace stopped her exam. She had been able to tell enough to know that no permanent damage had been done and that, like usual, he would need to take it easy for a couple of days. Of course, convincing Carson of that was another matter entirely. Which was why the staff had made sure to keep an extra chair in his office so that he could rest in there when it was slow and join in when it wasn't.
She looked over at him, inwardly apologizing for hurting him even though it wasn't her fault. Outwardly she sighed and said, "Stay there while I go get an ice pack."
"I'll be fine without it," Carson argued, sitting up as slowly as he could and lowering his legs over the side of the bed. He stopped long enough to ease himself to the ground, making sure to keep a firm grip on the bed to keep himself from falling over. His limp was very heavy as he walked, something she saw the Doctor and Colonel Sheppard noticed when Carson passed them. Both leaders were having their wounds tended to and, in John's case was being given a sling to rest his shoulder, and so they hadn't left yet.
Grace let out a sigh. At this point, there wasn't a use in fighting with Carson. It was best just to simply let him do what he will and try to help him when he wasn't really looking. There were times when she could match and master Carson's stubbornness but today was not one of them. Her heart wasn't in it and neither was her head. Honestly, she'd much rather go yell at Elizabeth but that wouldn't be appropriate either.
"Weir to Doctor Porter," her comm chirped, startling her a little. No matter how long she has been on Atlantis, Grace knew that she would never get used to someone suddenly barking in her ear.
"Go ahead," she said after watching Carson settle into his office and close the door.
"How are your patients?"
'Well, how nice of you to ask. John has a deep burn in his shoulder and he probably shouldn't go back out. The Doctor is healing nicely; you can't even tell he was hurt. And Carson can barely walk because he went out on a mission which you commanded he do; not to mention the burn on his side or the fact that he'd been almost killed because the damn queen can't keep her hands to herself or her temper under control.'
The snark came to her mind almost immediately and oh how she wished she could actually say all that. But she didn't. Elizabeth was not only her boss but also her friend. Grace knew that she cared deeply for those that lived on this city and perhaps even more so for her friends. No doubt she was just as upset with herself for the hurts John and Carson had suffered as Grace was.
"They are patched up and currently resting," she said instead. "The Doctor will be fine in a few hours and both John and Carson have received as much treatment as they would allow." She looked around the infirmary once more. "Carson has locked himself in his office and John has disappeared, no doubt so that we didn't have time to try and keep him for observation."
"That sounds like John," Elizabeth answered with a smile in her voice and fondness in her tone. "Is Carson okay to start working, though?"
Grace gave a shrug that her boss couldn't see. "Well enough, I suppose," she said. "Providing he stays in his office, he should be okay."
"Yes because we all know how well that always turns out."
Again, Grace gave a shrug. She agreed with the sarcasm and didn't have thing to say which could assure her friend and so she said nothing.
There was a hesitant pause before Elizabeth said more. "Make sure he takes care of himself, please. It seems that you're the only one who can ever get him to do so."
The worry in Elizabeth's voice helped negate a lot of Grace's ill feelings towards her decisions, but not all. The rest would go away before the day was out, however, that she knew for sure. Grace could never begrudge the woman who had the weight of their small world on her shoulders and the worry and concern of so much more. Not for long, at any rate.
"I'll do my best," she assured before disconnecting the link and taking the device out of her ear. "God only knows how easy it will be."
oOo
While Doctor Porter conversed with whomever had contacted her through the comm link, the Doctor looked over at Colonel Sheppard. The military commander was offering a smile to the nurse as she finished applying his shoulder sling but once she had finished, he looked over to return the Timelord's gaze. It was only for a moment, however, and before long the Colonel was off his cot and leaving the room without a backward glance.
There had been an undercurrent of anger carefully concealed within the man's careful indifference to him while they had been on Gabhr. And though that still remained, the mask was beginning to crack and the Colonel's true feelings were beginning to show.
What have you done, my thief?
Done to what? he asked, confused by the question. I haven't done anything to anything, have I? I've been stuck with this lot.
Which is precisely whom I am talking about. The one they call Sheppard is angry at you. He has asked Atlantis to keep an eye on you.
Well that's normal, isn't it? A bit ridiculous, but normal. After all, he doesn't know me and it's his job to ensure safety for everyone here.
He does not want you near Doctor Beckett, the voice of Atlantis broke in. Her voice, if a voice it could be called, was just as indifferent as that of the TARDIS but he could also sense impatience and curiosity in there as well.
He hopped off the bed and began to slowly make his way toward his ship, craving her safety. Looking around at the walls of the city he griped, Oi! Who said you could join in this conversation?
I have included her, my thief, as this concerns her as well as me.
Weeell, isn't that something? Two ships ganging up on him rather than just one. Brilliant!
Have you done something to Doctor Beckett?
The lights around him dimmed, almost as though the city were narrowing her eyes at him.
"There you are," Rose said as she suddenly caught sight of him. She came towards him with a smile on her face. Then she caught the lowered lights and the expression on his face. "What's wrong?"
"I'm being interrogated by two bloody ships, that's what's wrong."
"Why? What did you do?"
"Now why do you think I've actually done something? I could very well be innocent you know. I almost always am. Except for that time of Falad. And also on Coor. And perhaps a few others. But, look, the point is I haven't done anything to warrant this level of questioning."
"That's not the way the TARDIS sees it," Rose scoffed with a smile. "So, what did you do?"
The hum of Atlantis, which was normally so soothing and soft, began to get louder, vibrating through their chests. The Doctor thought it was almost a growl but he wasn't sure.
They had made it to the ship at long last but when the Doctor tried to enter, she wouldn't let him in.
Oi!
Answer us and I will let you enter.
Let me enter and I'll answer you, the Doctor negotiated. He didn't particularly want to be surround by Atlantis on the off chance that the city would attempt to cause him harm out of some misguided mother-henning.
Shall I ask John? the city threatened somewhat casually.
"Oh, for the love of," the Doctor cursed. The way these three were reacting you would have thought that he had executed an entire planet of people! "I insinuated that I approved of Doctor Beckett having been tortured and experimented on. Alright?"
The stillness in the air told him that Atlantis was processing what he'd just said. In the next instant the TARDIS doors opened, allowing him access to the safety he always felt whilst inside his ship.
"You did what?" Rose asked, following him and shivering slightly. There wasn't judgment in her voice, per se, but there was something. Disgust? No. Disappointment? Probably. He was disappointed with himself now that he thought about it.
Oh my thief, the TARDIS said sounding saddened. There is a time and a place to release your anger at what has been done to one race or another. On an enemy ship and after the man had been just tortured was not it.
"He had what now?" Rose asked, whirling about the ship and looking at her. She fixed her eyes on the console, apparently deciding it was the best place to look while having this conversation with the TARDIS.
The Queen had tried to brake Doctor Beckett's mind as well as his neck, the TARDIS informed. She'd been filled in on the essentials the moment the Doctor had entered her, taking the memories he'd allowed her to see from him through their link and so she'd known precisely what had transpired while they'd been with Amara.
"Carson had been strangled?" Rose said in a whisper. "How did I not notice that?"
He did not wish you to, Atlantis answered, making the pair of them jump. The Doctor hadn't known that Atlantis could still converse with them while they were inside the TARDIS. The equivalent of a head nod echoed through their minds and then she added, I shall do as John says. Doctor, you are not allowed to approach Doctor Beckett.
And with that her presence was gone.
"Well, that went well," he said, surprised at how calmly Atlantis had reacted. He'd expected her to a bit more present when she'd found out.
"You should go apologize," Rose said, making him whirl around to face her.
"I will do no such thing. Whatever gave you that idea? I have not apologized for speaking my mind and nor will I ever."
Now that he had told her, the Doctor felt no need to hide what precisely had happened. He let down his guard and the TARDIS entered, sifting through his mind to find the memory she wanted and viewed it without comment.
Oh my thief, she said on a sigh. How can you condemn what you yourself have not experienced?
Images began to play through the Doctor's mind. Images of Doctor Beckett being tied to a chair. Pictures of the wraith who had done it. Terror swept through him as he viewed that face and the Doctor knew that he was feeling whatever Carson felt. The ache in his wrists from pulling against the restraints was soon dwarfed by the sheer agony that coursed through his veins as Michael injected the concoction then gleefully watched as Carson writhed and whimpered.
At least the Atlanteans put the wraith to sleep while they do it. The wraith do not even feel what has happened to them or remember it. The same cannot be said for the human.
And there was the hitch. The Atlanteans did things as humanely as possible. While the wraith had made sure that Carson had felt every single second of it and remembered the torture as though it were yesterday.
The sound of the TARDIS door opening brought the Doctor back to the present in time to see Rose start to disappear through it.
"Where are you going?" he asked, perplexed as well as slightly ashamed.
"Well, one of us needs to apologize to Carson and since you won't do it, I will."
The door closing echoed through the console room. It was as though when Rose left, so had the TARDIS. But it wasn't true. His ship; his ol' girl simply refused to speak to him any longer.
oOo
Carson sat in his office, nursing a cup of tea and reading through some of the research he'd done on the virus and then every once in a while comparing it to what he knew of the wraith. The Doctor's comments about what he had done with the virus and what had been done to him plagued him and had made him wonder if there had been another way and he had just been too blind to see it. He had been searching ever since he'd entered the office but so far he hadn't been able to find a way.
The tea burned as it went down and settled into his nearly empty stomach but even so, the heat seemed to help his sore throat. That bloody queen just had to squeeze didn't she? It hadn't been enough that she'd tried to shred his mind, no she'd had to go for his throat too.
Are you alright, Carson?
Carson smiled at the concern she relayed. The lights in his office seemed to dim a little and the air grew warmer, two things that he had not realized he either needed or wanted. Now that he stopped to do something other than read, he did realize that he had the beginnings of a headache forming in his skull and that he was a little chilled.
Aye, I'm fine, love. How is John faring? It was easier to get Atlantis to tell him the truth about the Colonel than it was trying to ask the man himself. He was thankful that she never evaded or lied to him.
He is..well. He is in a little bit of pain but as that is keeping him from using his shoulder, all is well. There was a pause, as though she were debating what all to say and then she added, He is concerned about you. He has requested that I watch the Doctor while he is here and I do not disagree.
There is no need to do that, Atlantis. The Doctor is a very passionate being and although I do not condone how he feels, I do not necessarily disagree with it either.
Whether or not you are in the right is not for me to say, she admitted.
Although Carson felt a bit of disappointment at the sentient – and intelligent – ship didn't immediately assure him that he had been in the right, he couldn't blame her either. She didn't have emotions such as humans did. Atlantis could feel concern, happiness, etc. as humans did, but she had learned that from the humans that now inhabited her. When it came to the wraith, she viewed them from the Ancient's personality and from what Carson could gather, those beings were too rational to add much emotion to the situation.
A knock on his office door brought any further conversation that could have been had to an end. Being so used to the quiet, Carson startled a little. Thankfully he didn't still have his tea in his hands otherwise that could have been potentially embarrassing. Adjusting his chair so that he could see his office door, Carson smiled at seeing Rose in the doorway.
He was always happy to see the young woman. Though he knew that she was the Doctor's friend, Carson believed that she was willing to become his as well. He enjoyed her company and she was friendly and seemed to care about others. He also knew that she would not stay on Atlantis when the Doctor left; she enjoyed the thrill of the danger she and her friend chased too much for her to give it up willingly.
"Rose," he greeted, "hello."
She smiled, looking a little bit awkward in the motion. She didn't wait for him to invite her in, she merely walked in and sat down in the chair that was opposite his desk and chair. "You alright?" she asked.
"Of course," he answered, looking and sounding confused, "why wouldn't I be?"
Her eyes traveled down to his throat where he expected a fine amount of bruising was forming. They stayed there for a minute or two as she, no doubt, took the marks in, and then she refocused on his face. In her expression, Carson read many things but the main one was – understanding. Had the Doctor told her what had happened whilst they had been on the Hive ship? Or had the TARDIS? Either way, Carson assumed it didn't matter. She knew. Not that it was such a horrible thing, her knowing, but Carson did have his pride as well. It was embarrassing how easily he gave in to the pain the queen caused.
"He doesn't believe what he said, you know," she said, her eyes almost blunt though her tone was anything but. Carson didn't respond right away. What could he say? Instead, he settled back a little in his very uncomfortable chair and patiently waited for her to finish whatever else she had come here to say. "The Doctor, I mean," she added, evidently wanting to make sure that he knew to whom she was referring. "He seems to be more rude this regeneration and he has a terrible habit of letting his mouth run away with his thoughts."
"This regeneration?" Carson asked, puzzled by her meaning.
Rose nodded, seeming to understand that he wasn't comprehending, and smiled. "You know he's an alien," she said, beginning an explanation that she had obviously given more than once. "Well, his species, the Timelords, can regenerate their bodies when they are dying. It's sort of like when our bodies heal only everything changes for them. Their faces, their personalities, their tastes; everything."
"And that has happened while you were traveling with him?" Carson asked though he already knew the answer. Again, she nodded. She lowered her head to look down at her lap, no doubt wanting to hide some sort of emotion which the memory caused. Carson allowed her her privacy and again waited for her to continue. When she didn't, he added, "That must have been hard. To get to know a completely new person, I mean."
"He was and he wasn't," she said as she looked back up at him. "At his core, the Doctor was the same. His principles never changed and neither did his memories, but the way he spoke, the way he looked, the things he liked, were all different." She paused, biting her lip on a smile. She looked beautiful like that; if only she smiled more when she wasn't thinking of the Doctor, Carson might have a better chance of seeing it more often. "The first time I met this version I was on the Sycorax spaceship and there he comes, waltzing in in his dressing gown, his hair all a mess, and he, eventually, saves the world – all while he's still wearing pyjamas."
This time her smile was positively brilliant. Its warmth seemed to flush her face and brighten her eyes. How the Doctor planned on getting rid of this young lady without her consent, Carson couldn't even begin to imagine. Judging from her expression alone, Carson believed that Rose would never leave the alien's side of her own volition.
"The Sycorax?" Carson asked. No doubt it was another alien race but rather than leaving them in awkward silence, he figured he'd ask the obvious question.
Her face wrinkled into a look of confusion. But then it smoothed out and became almost emotionless. Actually, that wasn't true. It was more that the emotion she did show was nothing more or less than a challenge. It was that that told him that someone else had entered. He looked over his shoulder and found the Doctor standing in his doorway. How long the alien had been there, Carson wasn't sure and he wondered how much the man had heard. When he looked back, Rose was looking back at him.
"The point is that, rude as he is, the Doctor does not believe that the wraith were right in subjecting to you what they had."
With her sentence finished, she looked back to the Doctor in the doorway suddenly Carson began to feel like an intruder in his own office. Luckily – or perhaps not so luckily – it was then that his comm went off, making him jump.
"Science Lab 4 to Doctor Becket."
Swallowing down his surprise and feeling his adrenaline rise, Carson reached up to activate the link. "This is Doctor Beckett. Go ahead." Judging from the panic in the other person's voice, the chances were good that this was an emergency. He gave Rose an apologetic smile and then stood and went into the main portion of the infirmary.
"An ancient device that Gerry was working on exploded. He's hurt pretty bad."
Carson began packing the things that he believed would be necessary to treat the possible injuries that Gerry – Doctor Crumm – might have sustained. "What are his injuries?" he asked as he slung the bag over his shoulder and marched out of the infirmary and into the hallways of Atlantis.
TBC