Notes: Finally, UH I'm not a huge fan of how this chapter came out, I kind of hate it hahaha but I've been busy with projects for school so don't worry things should get better from here...and if you're reading this thank you so much! It means a lot!
ARTIFICIAL 3
"Have you ever left your room?" Shinji blurted one visit. Kaworu was sitting attentively in his desk chair like he always was.
"No." Kaworu answered after a pause. "But, a long time ago, when I was created…I remember being in a different room very similar to this one."
"Where?" Shinji asked, leaning in from his chair, like he was exchanging secrets in a school classroom.
Kaworu simply smiled, his eyes never leaving Shinji. "I am afraid I do not remember." He said.
"Oh." Shinji relaxed a little and tapped his finger against his pant leg. "Do you think you'll ever get to leave?" He hoped so, Kaworu always seemed so curious about what the world was like outside of this strange company's walls. He'd often ask Shinji about school, or what his new awkward living situation was like. Shinji was a little perplexed at how interested Kaworu seemed in his life. The only thing that was remotely exhilarating was coming to NERV, but aside from that Shinji couldn't provide Kaworu with much excitement.
Despite this, the two developed a strange friendship. Shinji found himself looking forward to seeing Kaworu. No one had ever been so invested in him before, and Shinji would be lying to himself if he said it didn't feel nice. Sometimes he'd think about what it would be like if Kaworu didn't have to be stuck in NERV headquarters. They could walk to school together and sit next to each other in class. But then Shinji would suddenly remember Kaworu wasn't human. It's so easy to forget.
"Maybe someday." Kaworu murmured, the same lazy smile touching his lips.
"What would you do? If you could leave."
"I would like to follow you around." The AI answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Shinji bristled in embarrassment.
"You can't just follow people around!" He found himself laughing. "People would think you're a stalker."
"I would ask you first then."
"Still," Shinji shook his head, "you can't just ask someone if you can follow them around."
Kaworu tilted his head in the way that he did whenever learning a new piece of human information.
"So I would ask to spend time with you." He said after a while. Shinji smiled and nodded his head in approval. The two sat together in amiable silence when the lights suddenly cut out. Immediately the tiny room was swarmed with darkness, and Shinji couldn't even see his hand in front of his own face. What is this? Is the power out?
"H-Hello?" Shinji stood up from his chair, feeling off-balance with no sense of direction. The darkness made Shinji panic and he tripped over the chair trying to find his way to the door.
"Are you alright?" He heard Kaworu calmly asked. He must have heard me fall.
"Y-Yes, I think the power's out." Shinji tried to compose his nerves as he stood back up. The lights came back on as fast as they had gone out.
"Power malfunction currently under investigation, back up generators activated." A steady female voice announced over NERV'S PA system. Shinji turned around to see Kaworu still sitting in his chair.
"When the power goes off like that," Kaworu said, "they can not hear us." His red eyes flickered to the camera, and Shinji followed it to see that the light that usually meant the device was recording wasn't on. He looked back to Kaworu startled.
Kaworu placed a pale hand flat against the glass and smiled, it was different than most of his smiles. It looks sad.
A small beep sounded and the camera's light turned back on.
Shinji couldn't help but remember the large crack that still resided in the clear wall's surface.
"Misato," Shinji mumbled with his head leaning lazily against the passenger's window, "what does NERV need with something like Kaworu?"
"I already told you, it's classified." Misato replied, taking a sharp turn back onto the main road. It was a response Shinji was used to hearing. "I know you've befriended…him," Misato said after a pause, "but TABRIS isn't a person, Shinji, we can't just let a highly intelligent android wander around Tokyo."
"I know." Shinji sighed. "So you've been listening?"
"That's why you were brought to NERV."
And I still don't get it! It has to do with my father. Shinji thought bitterly. He was still no closer to understanding the strange company and its CEO, but he did learn something that he'd been keeping to himself. Misato doesn't know much about Kaworu either…he was sure of it, otherwise she wouldn't stay up so late digging into documents labeled TABRIS. But why would NERV keep a secret about its own product from its employees?
The image of Kaworu sadly smiling at the pane of glass between them was an image Shinji wished he could forget. Kaworu said he couldn't feel lonely. Shinji reminded himself, trying to lighten his mood.
But maybe that's because he's never had the chance to.
"Hey, Rei, where are we going?" Shinji rushed to keep up with the girl as they passed the usual elevator they took down to Kaworu.
"A different way." She said, not even glancing back to make sure Shinji could keep up. She walks so fast…
"But why—"
"Your father."
Shinji stopped. He furrowed his brows and frowned. Rei slowed as well, sensing Shinji was no longer following her as she turned to face him. Employees were milling about the halls interested in whatever business they had going on.
"My father?" The venom was impossible to hide from Shinji's voice. "What does he want?"
"He wants you to make contact." Rei replied patiently, waiting for Shinji to come join her. Contact? "Contact with TABRIS." She clarified, as if she could read his mind.
"I don't understand, isn't that what I've been doing?"
"There will be no walls this time."
No walls…Shinji felt his stomach drop. Shinji had enjoyed his time with Kaworu, the other was nice and always liked to know about his life but…there was still that predatory underlying quality to Kaworu that Shinji remembered the first time they had encountered each other. He'd been day dreaming about what it'd be like to hang out with Kaworu without a clear boarder separating them, but now that the opportunity presented itself, Shinji found himself nervous.
"Is that safe?" Shinji squeaked, hating how his palms sweat.
"Safe?"
"Y-yes! How can you know what Kaworu will do? I-I saw the glass! Father thinks he can just push me around and shove me where ever he—" Rei walked forward and her hand flashed so fast Shinji never saw it grab onto his own. Her skin was warm and her grip was gentle, like a warm memory.
"It is safe." She said, and for a moment her eyes were just as intense as Kaworu's. Shinji was silent, his mind a garbled mess as Rei tugged him to walk forward and continue down the hall. She dropped his hand once she knew he was following her.
They eventually got to an elevator on the opposite side of the complex that Rei needed to activate by pressing her finger against the access pad. The ride down was just as long and awkward as it usually was, but this time Shinji's stomach felt like it was doing back flips inside of him.
"Are there cameras?" He found himself wondering as the elevator doors opened.
"Yes." Rei stepped out as Shinji reached for his ID. She noticed the movement and shook her head. "Your card will not work here."
Instead of another hall the elevator had opened to a tiny room with a door right across from it. The door was heavy and metal, TABRIS ENTRY was engraved in the center. Shinji swallowed the lump in his throat.
"I don't think I can do this." He whimpered, despite walking up to the door. It clinked and a thousand locks sounded as though they were being undone at once before it slid open.
"You will be safe." Rei assured as Shinji stepped through the threshold. The door shut immediately behind him.
Shinji was in a box with tiled floors and metal walls. The lights above him were florescent and harsh. He couldn't even look up at the ceiling without squinting. Off to his right was a thin hall that looked like it led into another room. Shinji took a hesitant step toward it. "Kaworu? It's me, Shinji." Shinji felt his heart beating in his throat.
As silent as a ghost, Kaworu appeared at the end of the small hall.
Kaworu's strange fluid movements were even more perplexing without a barrier. He nearly danced his way to Shinji, and Shinji found himself taking a startled step back.
"Shinji?" For the first time Kaworu sounded surprised. Shinji froze up at the proximity between them, Kaworu nearly pressed himself against Shinji's front as he stared at the boy in disbelief. He's a few inches taller than me, Shinji noticed.
"Kaworu," Shinji wedged his hands between his and the other's chest, taking another step back, "you're too close." His back bumped against the heavy metal door. Kaworu's eyes drank up every detail of Shinji before he tilted his head slightly. A smile touched his mouth in sudden understanding.
"Oh. I am sorry, I have forgotten my manners, I am just surprised to see you this way." The smile he offered Shinji was so warm and kind that Shinji felt guilty of being so afraid earlier. How could I ever be scared of Kaworu?
"My-My father wanted me to…" at a loss for words Shinji simply gestured at the room around him and hoped he could keep it at that. The android seemed to ponder this for a second before nodding.
The metal was cool against Shinji's back, and he was painfully aware of how awkard this whole thing was. Like usual, Kaworu didn't seem to notice, he was too busy looking at Shinji in that hyper focused way he always did. If I don't do something, he'll just stand there and stare at me all day.
"Um," Shinji scratched the back of his head, "this is where you live?"
"Yes." Kaworu said. "Ah, would you like me to show you around? That is something humans do for their guests." Kaworu waited for Shinji to nod before gracefully turning around to walk down the short hall he came from. After a moments hesitation Shinji followed.
The next room they entered was a lot like the first one. It was small with tile floor and bare walls, but it was cluttered with metal tables filled with wires, notepads, and strange pieces of tech Shinji had never seen before. Kaworu didn't seem particularly interested in this room as he didn't even stop as he explained, "This is my testing room, it holds nothing interesting." Testing room? But Kaworu had already turned another right corner. "This room is my favorite." His voice floated from the adjacent chamber, and Shinji gasped.
The walls and floor were once again nothing special, but in the middle of the room was a gleaming black grand piano. It held nothing else but for a bench and some sheet music. Kaworu was standing before the shining white keys, an equally white finger pressing absently at one of them. The note echoed through the empty corridors. Shinji didn't even want to touch it; afraid his fingers would smudge the perfection.
"Magnificent, isn't it? Truly mankind's greatest invention."
"It's amazing." Shinji stood next to Kaworu, catching his reflection in the gleaming surface.
"Would you like to play it?" Kaworu inquired, pressing another key. Shinji bit his lip.
"Ah-no, I don't know how."
"You have played the cello."
"That's not the same thing."
"I see." Kaworu took a seat on the bench. "I can teach you." Shinji sat beside the other, the tour suddenly forgotten.
"I don't even want to touch it." Shinji admitted. "It's so perfect."
"A well loved piano should have a lot of finger prints on it, do you not think so?" Kaworu smiled, playing a quick melody. His eyes never left Shinji but his fingers moved across the piano with such confidence and beauty Shinji couldn't help but smile too. He reached out awkwardly and pressed down on a random note, it rang loud and high.
"I-I do remember from school," Shinji murmured, placing three fingers on the piano, "we learned this song…'hot cross buns'." He then proceeded to press the three keys in an order that they made a choppy but recognizable melody. Kaworu seemed endlessly amused by this. So much so that he reproduced the short song in a lower key.
"And so you have taught me something new." He chuckled.
"I guess so." Shinji laughed back, staring at his hands. He then proceeded to poke at different keys, not really making any music, just putting random things together. Kaworu seemed just fine watching Shinji do this and time passed slow but enjoyably.
"Shinji." Kaworu said after a long while.
"Hm?" Shinji looked up from his hands to see Kaworu staring at him with an odd expression.
"What does it feel like?"
"What?" Shinji raised an eyebrow.
"The piano. What do the keys feel like?"
The keys? "Um," Shinji glanced down and rubbed at the surface of one of them with his finger, "I don't know…smooth I guess…" He continued the action and Kaworu watched with his usual attentiveness. "Can you not feel them?" Shinji asked, the thought had never occurred to him. To be able to touch something but not really touch it. Like constantly wearing a pair of gloves.
"They feel the same as wood, glass, and metal." Kaworu said, poking a note. "If I closed my eyes I would not be able to distinguish which is which." He played "hot cross buns" but the short tune somehow felt hollow. "Can I touch your hand?" Kaworu asked after playing the short melody.
Shinji felt the blood rise to his cheeks in embarrassment. Shinji simply held out his hand palm up and Kaworu took it gingerly, as if it were made of glass. Kaworu's skin was smooth, smooth to the point where it felt rubbery. He ran his thumbs over the ridges of Shinji's palm and leaned down to inspect the pattern on the end of each finger.
"Incredible." Kaworu murmured, like he was examining a precious stone.
Kaworu's hands aren't warm or cold, Shinji noticed. He could feel the harsh skeleton directly under the thin layer of pale skin. And in that moment, with his sweaty hand in the other's unfeeling mechanical grip, Kaworu had never seemed more human.