Artificial 5
"Shinji, about yesterday," Misato's eyes remained focused on the dirt road ahead of them, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have put all that on you."
Shinji opted to keep his attention on the trees rushing by outside his window. The car ride to NERV was awkward after yesterday's dinner conversation. Shinji just wanted it to go as quickly as possible. He remembered Kaworu's warning, and how the other had said it would be best if he didn't get involved with NERV anymore. Shinji didn't doubt that this was good advice. His life used to be so simple and predictable, and ever since getting involved with his father's strange company things have been confusing and stressful.
But he couldn't leave now.
He didn't care about his father or what Misato might think of him. He didn't want to leave because leaving would mean he'd never see Kaworu again.
The rest of the drive was spent in tense silence until they were lowered into NERV headquarters. Rei was there to greet them as Misato and Shinji took their separate ways.
"This way." Rei murmured, leading Shinji down the same path they took yesterday.
"I'm going back in Kaworu's room?" Shinji asked with a weird sort of excitement.
"Yes." Rei waited for Shinji to join her in the elevator.
"I wonder if the power will go out again." Shinji mumbled as the doors slid shut. Rei visibly stiffened, and the observation wasn't lost to Shinji.
"The system has not been cooperating as it usually does." She said, eyes forward.
"Do you know why?" Shinji curiously inquired.
"No." Rei replied flatly as the elevator stopped. The large metal door waited for Shinji and Rei as they stepped out. He couldn't help but find it intimidating. So much effort to keep Kaworu inside…Shinji thought of the things Misato had shared with him.
Shinji just barely heard piano music seeping out from the stone walls. Rei let Shinji inside and shut the door with a loud slam. Flinching at the noise, he noticed the piano music had stopped. He hesitated before walking through the room filled with tables and gadgets to the one with the piano. Kaworu was sitting half turned on the bench in the direction Shinji had just come. His body was twisted in such a casual pose but he looked so elegant with his impossibly pale flawless skin and white halo of hair. Shinji scrunched up his nose when he felt his cheeks warming up, and rubbed at his face with a confused hand.
"Hi." Shinji awkwardly mumbled.
"Hello." Kaworu's expression immediately split into a smile and Shinji forgot all that stuff he'd learned yesterday. "You have returned."
"Yes." It was impossible to know what was going through Kaworu's head. Is he mad I didn't listen to him? They sat in uncomfortable silence until Kaworu stood up from the piano in a swift movement.
"Shall we finish our tour from yesterday? I never showed you the last room."
Shinji nodded, grateful for something distracting.
"This is the room that you are the most familiar with." Kaworu said as he led Shinji down another short hall and into the sterile bedroom. Shinji immediately recognized it as he stepped over neutral carpet and observed unused bland furniture. A wall of glass separated him from the chair that he'd had countless conversations with Kaworu in the first few times he'd come to NERV. Shinji walked over to the clear barrier and pressed his hand against it. The glass fogged up around his warm skin.
"It's weird being on the other side." Shinji murmured, his eyes glued to the crack just on the side of him. He resisted the urge to reach over and touch it. Turning, he noticed Kaworu staring at him with his recognizable hungry gaze. "Do you spend a lot of time in here?" He asked, walking to the bed and pressing down on the mattress with a nervous hand. The mattress is so stiff.
"When I am not playing the piano." Kaworu's eyes followed Shinji as he took an awkward seat on the corner of the mattress. After a second Kaworu joined him. The firm mattress barely bent at his added weight. "This is the room I met you in, so I have grown fond of it."
Shinji sputtered, his hands immediately shooting up to cover the blush that must be painting his cheeks red.
"You grow so flustered whenever I compliment you." Hands wrapped themselves around Shinji's wrists and tugged the boy's own away from his face. Shinji's eyes widened at the proximity between himself and Kaworu. Kaworu was so close Shinji could see the details of his deep red eyes. They reminded him of camera lenses. "It amuses me. Do not hide your face, I like to look at it."
"Kaworu!" Shinji forcefully pulled his hands free and shoved the other away. Kaworu simply shifted a little further down the mattress, the push not strong enough to actually move him. "You-You can't just get so close to people like that." He folded his arms tightly across his chest. "People like personal space. It's weird when you do those things."
"Oh." Kaworu seemed to process this information. "Forgive me, I have not socialized with humans properly."
"I know." Shinji replied awkwardly.
"Touching is a sort of intimacy I thought all humans enjoyed."
"It-it depends on the person." Shinji found his gaze unable to move from his thighs. "And friends don't usually get…intimate." Not that he'd know, Shinji didn't have much personal experience.
"I see." Kaworu's voice was quiet, and Shinji could feel the other's eyes burrowing into the side of his face. Desperate for a change in subject, he looked at the plain comforter the two of them were currently sitting on. He flopped down and stared at the ceiling; it was white. Boring.
"Hey," Shinji suddenly blurted, "do you ever sleep?" He felt the mattress shift as Kaworu copied him, but kept his eyes focused on the wall above. Kaworu was so close, but he could feel no body heat radiating from the other's skin.
"No. I do not have to sleep."
"You don't have to sleep?" Shinji pursed his lips. "Not even to…recharge or something?" His face brightened, what a weird question. Kaworu's musical chuckle sounded beside him.
"My battery does not require charging." Shinji felt Kaworu shift and knew the other was now facing him completely.
"What kind of battery can run all the time?" Shinji found himself turning on his side as well, curiosity overtaking embarrassment.
"I have a nuclear battery." Kaworu smiled. "It has a long lifespan and requires little attention."
"That's so strange." Shinji found himself whispering. He couldn't believe that this seemingly living being before him was kept running off nothing but a fancy battery. "Just a battery keeps you going…"
"Humans and I have that in common I think." Kaworu answered. He reached out a pale hand but then hesitated, as if remembering what Shinji had told him earlier, and then brought it back to his side. "Your battery is just made of living tissue."
Shinji crinkled his nose in confusion before he realized what Kaworu was talking about. The heart. The android read his expression and continued, "But yours is arguably more fragile than mine…like glass." His heart pumped faster against his ribs, as if it knew it was being described. "So easily shattered, and not so easily repaired. Have you ever had your heart broken, Shinji?"
"Yes." Why did I say that? Shinji snapped his mouth closed, bringing his hands to his chest and curling in on himself a little.
"By who?"
Shinji glanced around, knowing that somewhere there was a camera picking up their interactions and this entire conversation. But for some reason he didn't care.
"My father."
They laid in silence until it was time for Shinji to leave.
Rei walked Shinji to Misato's car.
It looks like Misato's not done yet…he noticed the car was still empty, but knew she usually got done a few minutes after him.
"Shinji."
He turned at Rei's voice and yelped in surprise as her hand shot out and grabbed his. She pressed something hard and rectangular into his palm.
"This will answer things."
Before he had a chance to say anything, she turned and walked away. Glancing down, Shinji saw it was another ID card, basically identical to the one he already had. Except in the bottom corner there was a small green bar.
He stuffed it into his pocket before Misato would see.