My body felt like lead as I lay in bed, completely unmoved and unmotivated to make any attempt to get up. Alois will be angry if I don't get up. I moaned as I pulled up the dead weight of my body. I flipped my legs over the edge of the bed and stared out at the frost covered window. It is Christmas Eve… I hate Christmas. The doors swung open and Alois burst in. I screamed and lost my balance, falling to the hard wood floor with a thud.

"GOOD MORNING!" He leapt onto the bed and stared down at me, a sincere childlike smile plastered on his face.

"Good morning," I said from the comfort of the floor. I felt safer on the floor where Alois didn't have any easy access to me.

Once he realized that I was in my bed clothing, his sincere smile turned into perverted grin. "Nice night gown."

I batted my eyes and gave him an innocent look, "Only the best for my master!"

He grabbed hold of one of the pillars holding up the canopy, spun around it, and landed on the floor in front of me. He stood in front of me and held out his hand to me. I gripped his hand and he pulled me up with such force, that I was launched into his arms. He gasped, and as we looked into each other's eyes I saw pink fill his cheeks.

I pulled away sat on the bed, "So where is Claude?" Alois sat down next to me; he wasn't wearing his usual purple jacket and green vest, but a red jacket and a white vest.

"He left. Something about preparations for Christmas Day. DID YOU KNOW IT 'S CHRISTMAS?" He threw himself into my lap with eagerness.

I laughed, "Yes I know."

He looked at the un-enthusiasm in my face and stared up in confusion, "Do you not like Christmas?"

I thought for a minute. I really do hate Christmas. I couldn't sleep last night so I wrote everything down which is when I came to that realization. Should I tell Alois the truth, or lie for him. I sighed and smiled "Of course I love Christmas!"

He gave me an unconvinced smile and stood up, "You should get dressed, as much as that night gown is… flattering, I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea."

I groaned "You've been giving people the wrong idea since you started wearing short shorts."

He glared at me, "but I look good in them!"

I rolled my eyes.

He came close to my face; put a finger to my lips, and whispered, "You know you like them."

I pushed him away jokingly, "do I have to wear one of your outfits again?"

"Of course! It is in your dressing room."

I walked into the dressing room and looked at a dress draped over hanger. It was red, velvety, and floor length. I unbuttoned the back and pushed my legs through the bottom. I pulled the dress up and put my arms through the sleeves. "Alois?"

"Yes?"

"Can you help me button up?"

He pulled open the dressing room door and walked over to me. For a minute I stood there and he gave me a weird look, "spin?"

I turned red "Oh right!" I spun around and I felt the dress be pulled tight as he buttoned.

"Do you mind exchanging gifts with me tonight?"

"What?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to give me a gift and then I will give you one."

He finished the last button and I turned around, and admired myself in the mirror.

"You look beautiful."

I smiled, "Thanks."

"So?"

"Alois… I haven't been completely honest with you, I don't celebrate Christmas… In fact, I haven't even exchanged gifts in years."

His indifferent look changed into an angry confusion, "why?"

What was the reason? "I just can't afford it." I lied. "Plus, it is a holiday of indulgence for the rich!" I lied again.

His face changed to the face of pure hatred, "What? How could you be so selfish? All year I wait for this one holiday, the one day a year that everything seems okay. The one holiday a year that those village people didn't treat Luka and I like shit! The one-"he stopped himself and you could see the tears welling up in his eyes. He ran out and I could hear the smashing of valuables echoing behind him.

I let out a deep sigh of remorse, which sent a shockwave of pain through me. I unbuttoned the dress, slipped it off, and strolled over to the desk to write another reason to hate Christmas.

Reason 4: Because it is the day you hurt the only person you had left.

It was small, brown, with white cotton string, and very plain, but inside it was something precious. I tip-toed to the tall and brightly lit Jesse Tree, the smell of pine overwhelming me. I was a good smell, a nostalgic smell, something I hadn't smelled since my last Christmas. The first reason for why I hate Christmas:

Reason 1: The day your father was hit by the carriage and killed.

I kneeled in front of the tree; the pine needles gently pierced my skin. I tucked the package under the tree and leaned back. I put my hand into my pocket and felt the cold money in my pocket. I cupped it and started counting –That cost all of last and this month's pay, which leaves me with enough one loaf of bread- which leads to reason two:

Reason 2: Our family of nine needed food, not gifts (We never exchanged gifts).

I then stood up, glanced at the package, and grinned. I am sorry Alois, I hate telling people how it is, especially on Christmas.

Reason 3: Ruining Christmas for others.

"Do you honestly think you ruin Christmas?"

I spun on my heels and Alois was in the doorway. "How did you-"

"I read your reasons for hating Christmas. The funny thing about what you wrote is that they aren't true."

I breathed in deeply, "What are you talking about? Everything in there is the complete truth!"

He strolled closer "No. You love Christmas. You and I aren't very different… Two damaged people, both looking for a way to cope; we cling to Holidays like Christmas. The only reason you don't like Christmas is because it confirms your deepest fear."

"And what is that?"

He came closer, grabbed both hands in his and softly said, "That you need someone to cling to, because you can't survive alone."

For a minute I was silent but soon after I threw my arms around him. At first he was stiff but then I felt his arms gently wrap around me.

"I have a gift for you," I whispered.

He pulled away and smiled, "me too."

I bent over and picked up the plain package and handed it to him. He tore away the brown paper, and pried open the box. He pulled out a tiny crystal butterfly. The butterfly was brilliant colors of green, purple, and silver. He stared at it in awe before looking at me.

"It is an everlasting butterfly. It will never die, or leave, but always be with you."

I saw him choke back tears, "it's perfect."

He then handed me at messily wrapped rectangular package. I peeled away the wrapping revealing a tiny leatherback notebook.

I looked up and smiled, "a notebook?"

He nodded, "I see you writing all the time, and I thought it was perfect! Look inside!"

I flipped through the pages:

"Adella Smitton."

"Beloved friend of Alois Trancy."

"Sometimes people say the impact you make in a person's life changes them forever, I believe it. Every day I wake up excited, because I know I am not alone. You listen to me, and talk to me, and you care. I will never forget the things you've done. You saved me."

I looked up and saw Alois blushing. "I love it!"

He sighed in relief, and we both left the barely lit room. As we walked the darkened hallway, Alois stopped and turned to me.

"What?"

He looked at me and said "I had one Christmas wish I really want to come true."

I smiled, "and what could that possibly be?"

He grabbed both my arms and pulled me into him. Our faces were a centimeter apart, and I could feel my heart flutter,

"A kiss!"

I put both hands on his cheeks and pulled him in. His kiss was gentle, addictive like I could never pull away, even if I wanted to. His arms wrapped around me and I let myself fall into him. He then pulled away,

"I love you. Do you love me?"

I smiled, "I will always love you."

He wrapped his arm around me and we walked off into the darkness. A reason to love Christmas? I can think of one:

Reason 1: The day the one person I care about the most, kissed me.