Shortly after settling into a new home and giving birth in a village outside the Tung Shao pass, there was a knock at Mulan's door. Her sleeping newborn infant in her arms, she nervously opened it.

It was Shang.

Mulan burst into tears, the first time he'd ever seen her cry. "No! Please! I just gave birth."

Her son Zhou was born only 4 days before. This was the absolute last thing her postpartum body needed. She was so weak and exhausted from lack of sleep and 3 straight days of labor that there wasn't much fight in her. Childbirth had caused her to tear badly, and even walking was painful. And now here he was at her door. An attack now was unthinkable. He couldn't.

But, thankfully, he didn't try to force his way in to her house or even touch her. He told her he had followed her here to make sure of her safety, but kept his distance until now. He was here to make it right and marry her. What?

"You can never make this right! Get the fuck out of here! I will never marry you!", Mulan shouted and slammed the door in his face and locked it.

He couldn't make it right. What was done, was done. There was no going back. And since when was he concerned about her safety? Her bullshit alert went up to red. Lies.

Mulan put down the baby and stood shaking with her sword in hand. Pent-up emotions from 10 months of terror came flooding out.

"I hate you! I hate you, you motherfucker. You're a monster. You're evil. All you care about is yourself. I wish you were dead like your father. You don't deserve to live, you miserable pig. I wish Shan Yu had killed you."

She collapsed on the floor, sobbing.

"Mulan, I'm sorry."

Firing a cannon 3 feet from Shan Yu and burying the Huns in an avalanche was less frightening than this.

"It's too late. Your sorry-ass apology means absolutely nothing to me."

"Please. I love you. I love our child. I'm sorry. I'll never force you again."

Retrieving the arrow from atop a 100 ft pole with two 50 lb weights was less difficult than getting this clown away from her door.

"Are you fucking serious? How dare you say you love me! How dare you say you love our child when just 3 weeks ago you were punching me in the gut and grinding your knee into my belly trying to kill him. What the hell's wrong with you? You abused your position as commander and took advantage of the fact that only you knew I was female. I couldn't get away and I couldn't ask for help. I couldn't kill myself because you took my weapons. I never want to see you again. You made my life a living hell."

Baby Zhou began to wail.

"I'm sorry. Just please let me in. I want to see my son."

"How do I know you won't force yourself on me again? Do you have any idea what it was like, every single night for months, knowing you were coming? Never being able to fully fight you off or get away? Being at your mercy? I never want to see you again, I said. Go away and never come back. Just get the fuck out of here. You don't deserve to see your son. In fact, you will NEVER see your son. I hope you die like your father. When he's old enough to understand, I'll tell him his father is dead just like yours is."

Silence. Mulan heard his footsteps as he walked away. She knew she had hit below the belt by taunting him about his father's death. But what he had done to her was worse.

She cried bitterly as she changed the baby's nappy and as she went about her daily chores the rest of the day.

As with every night, vicious nightmares of Shang ripped thru her mind as she briefly slept. Twice, her screams woke Zhou.

How on earth did he expect her to trust him? How could he have done this to her? And why? Would he return and do it again?

In the morning, Mulan went outside to lead Kahn to water and give him hay. With the baby in one arm and the lead in the other, she stopped short.

The stall, nearly empty of hay yesterday, was full of hay bales. A large bag of rice sat next to it. Mulan glanced around, but there was no sign of Shang.

Inside the rice sack, in a smaller sack, was several coins. Enough to cover expenses for at least a month, plus enough to get some sorely needed items for Zhou.

Unable to secure an income yet, she had ran out of food, having just given birth 5 days before with no family around to help. Only 3 weeks had passed since the war had ended and she had arrived in this new village.

Everyone believed her story that she was a war widow. The village midwife had attended her for Zhou's birth along with 2 other women, but Mulan had longed for her mother and grandmother.

Mulan found a job in the rice fields and strapped Zhou to her back while she worked.

Weeks turned into months and then years with no sign of Shang, but hay and rice and coins appeared regularly at her and Zhou's home. Even though the thought of him terrified Mulan, it was comforting to know someone was looking out for her. But that someone was also the reason all this had happened.

The nightmares still hadn't stopped.

Shortly after the baby turned 2, Mulan took him out for the first time for a long ride on Kahn. She missed her carefree girlhood rides of days past. She was 19 now, and a single mother. There was no going back.

On the way back home, she passed a house not far from hers and glanced at the owner who was outside caring for his horse.

Shang.

He glanced up, and seeing them, turned away. So he had settled nearby, and was ensuring both her and Zhou were cared for, but was respecting her wishes to never see him again.

Mulan turned Kahn and approached him.

"Thank you for the food and money and hay bales. It's been a big help."

"You're welcome. It's the least I can do after I caused you to be in this predicament. If the two of you ever need anything, anything at all, I'm here. But I'll stay away like you wish." With that, Shang went in the house.

Mulan stared at the door, then at the 2 year old in her arms. He had never held his son and had only very briefly seen him before she had slammed a door in his face and screamed at him.

Not that she regretted that. He fully deserved it and she didn't trust him not to force himself on her then 4 day postpartum body. She shuddered at the thought.

After dismounting, she knocked on the door. He opened it and looked confused.

"I thought you might want to hold him. His name is Zhou."

Shang stepped outside the door and held his arms out. Zhou whimpered briefly, but soon stared up at his father quietly and wiped a tear from the latter's cheek. After a couple minutes, he started smiling and talking.

"Thank you, Mulan."

As he handed Zhou back, Mulan saw another tear on his cheek.

"I know it doesn't mean much, but I'm truly sorry." With that, he went in the house.

He was right. It didn't. Pretty boy could say he was sorry all he wanted. He still did it. Repeatedly. Asshole.

More time went by, with the only sign of Shang being the rice, hay and money he regularly left for her and Zhou. He continued to respect her wishes to not see him and never knocked on her door.

But the damage was done and could never be taken back. Mulan constantly looked over her shoulder. Every night after putting Zhou to bed, she piled furniture in front of the door and laid in terror of Shang returning. It was difficult to get any sleep at all. Her sword was always within reach at night. At least 1 dagger was in her sash at all times during the day, even on the rice fields.

She started stopping by Shang's about once every 6 months so he could see Zhou. Shang would come out to the porch to spend time with his son, knowing she wanted to stay near Zhou but would never set foot in his house.

After one such visit, the tot looked up at his mother and said "Is Shang my Baba? Cuz I need a Baba."

Mulan bit her lip. He did need his father more than just once every 6 months. He was nearly 4. But Shang's presence still terrified her.

She turned Kahn around. Shang had kept his word to stay away. Maybe she could let him come over so he could see his son more often.

When she told him of this, she also told him he was only to come over to see his son, not her. He was also to stay outside. One false move and the deal was off. If he touched her again, she'd kill him. That one thing he could be sure of.

Shang knew she could kill him. In training, she had bested him during many mixed martial arts spars. The scars she had left on him as she tried to fight off his attacks were too many to count.

"I understand. I promise I won't hurt you."

"Your promises don't mean shit to me, Shang. You should know that."

Indeed, he did know that. He didn't expect anything different.

The first time he showed up, Mulan's heart pounded in her throat until long after he had left. During the night she woke with a start, certain she heard a door open and it was about to start again. She grabbed her sword, ready to fight, but no one was there. It was just another flashback. One of hundreds, maybe thousands since Shang's attacks had ended.

He was showing himself to be a good father. He was also becoming a good friend. Never once did he raise an abusive hand to her or force anything on her. He apologized profusely for his wartime behavior again and again, blaming it on the grief of finding his father dead and the entire imperial army destroyed after a vicious attack by the Huns.

Mulan was beginning to forgive him. He slowly began to forgive himself of the monster he had been.

She told Shang about her constant nightmares and flashbacks of his attacks. How she always looked over her shoulder for him. That she still piled furniture in front of her front door every night and slept with a sword. She always carried a dagger in her sash.

She relayed how she woke up screaming many nights, so much so that Zhou had learned to light lamps around the house and go make his mama tea whenever it happened. He didn't know why, only that someone had frightened his mama very badly. Maybe it was the big bad Huns mama fought.

As she relayed all this to Shang, he covered his face with his hands and wept. He hadn't considered until now the emotional consequences that she still faced every day. The level of selfishness and cruelty he had been operating on during that time was mind-boggling.

His brutality had scarred this woman for the rest of her life. And he couldn't make it better. He could only watch over her and his son and hope that someday he would be allowed to comfort her.

It made him want to take his own sword to his heart because he didn't feel he deserved to live, but he had a son to live for now. He couldn't change the past, but he could still choose what kind of man he would be for the future.

On Zhou's 7th birthday, he brought over a bow and arrow, and began to teach him how to shoot. He had been 7 when his father started teaching him to fire an arrow and how to fight. She invited him to stay for dinner.

A few months later, after years of building trust with Mulan and proving he had changed, Shang moved in and they were married. That was the happiest day of Zhou's life so far. He would never know why Baba lived in a different house for so long or why Mama cried so much for so many years.

Only that his two favorite people finally lived in the same house.

Sometimes Mulan still had nightmares and awakened screaming and fighting. She carried scars that would never fully go away.

More than once she had clocked Shang good in her sleep. But Shang was always there to comfort her when she would wake up terrified, and repeat to her how sorry he was and that she was safe and he would never hurt her like that again.