Approximately three months after he had first found Merlin, Morgana knocked on his office door while he was looking over some files. She looked hesitant, in a way she had never looked at his door before.
"May I come in Arthur?" She asked quietly.
"Since when have you ever asked for permission Morgs? Come in." Arthur gestured, already dreading what she was going to say.
"Arthur, I know it's not my place to ask, I probably should stay out of it, but I am sorry. I can't help it. What are you going to do about Merlin?" Morgana said it all in one go. Arthur got a feeling that she had been keeping it in for a really long time. She was right; it wasn't her place to ask. But Merlin meant a lot to her as well, so she deserved an answer.
"I can't keep him Morgana." He smiled sadly.
"Oh Arthur." Morgana stepped closer to him, and took one of his hands to clasp it tightly in both of hers.
"What's true is true." Arthur shrugged. "He deserves to be free. More than anyone else. He deserves to live a life he wants, and not be shackled to someone."
"He might not want to leave." Morgana offered.
Arthur did not want to laugh, but it tore out of his chest anyway, a little maniac. "Might not want to leave what? The lamp? The forced life of slavery? The spells taking his magic away from him? He told me it hurt him Morgs. The bonds hurt him."
"You." Morgana said fiercely. "He might not want to leave you."
"We will see, won't we?" Arthur said, self deprecation dripping from his voice. Morgana was his sister, and she loved him. That might not be true for Merlin. He was just a master to him, like many other. Anything else Arthur had ever assumed Merlin to feel for him was just wishful thinking. He had tried and failed to not read into the stolen glances Merlin threw his way when he thought Arthur wasn't looking, the smiles that were full of tenderness, the way he looked at Arthur with such fondness, and yearning. Arthur wanted to believe that he wasn't assuming things- desperately ached with the desire- but he had been proven a self centered asshole more times than he cared to count. He could not dare to get his hopes high.
"You forget I am a seer dear brother. I know things." Morgana confided.
Suddenly feeling hopeful, he looked at her face, desperate. "You have seen something?"
"I see many things," typical witches, they always spoke in riddles, "some good, and some bad. I know which one I am counting on though."
Arthur slumped. He wished he had Morgana's confidence.
"You sure you can deal with things without him, if it's the bad that comes true after all?" Arthur had to be sure. Losing Merlin was one thing, something Arthur knew was an eventuality and had made his peace with it, but ruining Morgana's life was a whole other.
Morgana just nodded. It felt like the final nail in Arthur's coffin.
Still, he would do this right. This wasn't for him. This was for Merlin. For someone who had never asked something for himself. He couldn't back down now.
Steeling his resolve, he put his other hand on Morgana's where she was holding onto his hand tightly, and squeezed, before letting go. Wordlessly, he started packing. It was only 3:45pm, but waiting more would only kill him inside. He needed to rip it off like a bandage.
He was halfway out of the door, Morgana watching him sadly, when she called out. "Arthur!"
He just stopped in his tracks, and waited for her to continue. When she did, it felt like someone was twisting a knife in his chest, "He loves you too, you know."
He turned around, and gave her a disbelieving look. He knew what her statement implied, but he also knew that arguing about the fact that he did not in fact love Merlin was futile. He could not even deny that to himself anymore. Instead, he just asked, "How can you say that?"
"Trust me, I know these things."
"Because you are a witch?" Arthur slanted one of his eyebrows.
"No idiot. Because I have eyes. And also because I am not as emotionally constipated as you." Morgana laughed.
"Whatever Morgs. Just bring ice cream if it ends badly." Arthur said, and then turned back around to walk out of the door. He barely heard the "It won't" Morgana promised behind him. He did not believe her. He could not believe her.
Still, he felt hopeful as he walked home. Hope is a funny thing, the more you try to crush it, the more resilient it gets. It didn't matter how it ended though, he felt like when he did say the words, when he finally asked Merlin to break the spell, it would feel right. Maybe heartbreakingly sad, but right!
For reasons he could not explain, he ended up shopping. He bought clothes he felt like would be Merlin's size- even though he had no idea if he would even need them. He bought green t-shirts, of different sizes just in case, and blue mufflers, because he thought they would match Merlin's eyes. He bought a pair of jeans, and then 5 more, in ascending order of sizes, hoping one of them would fit him, not giving any thought about what he would do about the ones that would be spare.
After shopping for clothes, he turned towards food. Merlin had not eaten in centuries, and he wanted him to experience the joys of it for the first time in front of him. He stood in a fast food shop for 10 minutes, just staring at the menu, unable to decide. Then he ordered a burger, and a pizza, half Hawaiian- because weird people liked pineapples on their pizza and Merlin was definitely weird- and half meat lovers. He also a box of Haagen Dazs Peanut Butter and Chocolate ice cream, because maybe Merlin would try it, and if not, his broken heart would need it, and he didn't trust Morgana to remember it.
He would've ended up shopping more- he definitely wasn't delaying going back to his apartment- but he could barely carry all the stuff he had gotten in the first place, and decided to walk home. If Merlin decided to not leave the moment he was freed, maybe Arthur would get the chance to take him shopping for suits, to try out different kind of cuisines, see the world. Merlin still had a tendency of staring out of his apartment windows which meant he loved high buildings and Arthur wanted to take him on top of Eifel tower to really appreciate height, take him on flying lessons! There was so much he wanted to do with Merlin, live his whole life with him by his side, but he dared not dream. For now, this would do.
"Did your entire wardrobe get stolen when I wasn't paying attention, or what? What's with so many shopping bags?" Merlin commented the moment he stepped out of the elevator.
Arthur did not reply, he just places them on the counter and went to sit with Merlin on the couch where he was sitting with remote ready in his hand.
"No Morgana today?" Merlin turned his face towards him and he just shook his head.
"You alright? You don't look so good." Merlin asked concernedly. Arthur knew he was being a coward, but he wanted a little more time with Merlin. A couple of more hours.
"Your face does not look so good." Arthur retorted.
"Ah, he is back. Good, good. So if Morgana isn't coming, can we get on with watching X-men! I have been looking forward to this one." Merlin said excitedly, and Arthur smiled despite himself. He was going to miss this, so what the hell. They definitely could watch one more movie.
"Of course. Which one are we on?" Arthur asked.
"First class. We saw the the old three X men movies and wolverine origins last week."
"Michael Fassbender." Arthur said dreamily.
"James McAvoy." Merlin replied in the same tone, putting a hand on his heart and staring at the ceiling.
"You agree that Xavier and Magneto are shagging right?"
"Oh yes." Merlin replied, while turning on the TV to connect it to the DVD player.
"Good. If not, this movie would confirm it for you." Arthur declared and relaxed, draping his arm across Merlin, to thoroughly enjoy Merlin's expressions through the movie.
When the end credits started playing, Merlin turned the movie off and sank back into the sofa and sighed.
"What?" Arthur asked gently.
"That was good, and a little sad." Merlin smiled at the ceiling.
"I know. I love young Charles and Eric."
"Me too. Definitely shagging as well."
"Yep." Arthur agreed, and Merlin was quiet for a while, just staring at the ceiling.
"I was just wondering what it would be like?"
"What? Being a mutant?"
"I am already that. Or sort of, I have powers and all. No, that's not what."
"Then?"
"Teaching. Having a school and training the inexperienced scared children to handle their magic. Mordred and Morgana always make me think of all the other kids who think they are freaks and never get any help."
"You can't help everyone Merlin."
"I know," he said a little sadly, "But it doesn't stop me from wanting it. Anyway, who even have castles these days? Be it Hogwarts or Mutant Academy, everyone conveniently have a wonderful huge and remote castle handy."
Arthur cleared his throat meaningfully and Merlin sat straight quickly to look at him. "Seriously?"
"Yep."
"A castle?"
"On a remote personal island." Arthur said, a little smug.
"Figures. Rich prick!"
"Oye! You should not insult the guy who would give you his castle to train little wizardlings. Oh wait, does that make me Charles?"
"No it does not. I am Charles, the head of the school and the beloved and powerful teacher."
"Excuse me. I am the one funding everything and the one with charisma. Obviously I am Charles."
"Fuck you."
"Excuse me?"
"I said fuck you. I don't want a school if I don't get to be Charles thank you very much. Also, let's see how you would feel about getting bald."
"Don't touch my hair." Arthur backed away defensively. "You can have Charles. I have never been poor and destitute but I will deal with being Eric. He is hot."
"Awesome." Merlin smiled brilliantly, and laid back down.
Nobody said anything for some time, and then Merlin sighed again, this time wistfully.
"That's such a good dream to have. I have never dreamt of anything before." Merlin confessed.
"It doesn't have to stay a dream." Arthur realized he wasn't joking. If Merlin really wanted this, he would give him the castle- hell he would give him ten castles if it made him happy. Help him establish his own personal Hogwarts.
"No magic remember. Even if you keep being the absolutely amazing person you are," Merlin looked at him with so much emotion in his eyes when he said that, "and never ask me for a third wish, I have no magic, no way to find anyone who has magic. No way to help them."
"Oh." Arthur said, suddenly quiet, and then got up to where he had kept the shopping bags.
Well, it was now or never, "these are for you." Arthur picked them up and put them in front of Merlin.
"I really don't need clothes Arthur. I thought we were over this. I can't shrink them when I go into the lamp, so they are pretty much useless. No clothes needed while I am bound to you." He said, confused, after looking into one and finding two green t-shirts.
"What of when you aren't bound to me?" Arthur said in a really quiet voice, settling down beside him again.
Merlin, who was still going through the shopping bags in the restlessly energetic way that was usual to him, suddenly froze.
"What are you talking about Arthur?" He sounded scared, Arthur could not fathom why.
"Merlin," he couldn't help smiling after taking his name, affection coloring his every syllable, "My Merlin." He said, and then savored the feeling those words brought.
Merlin remained quiet, somehow knowing that Arthur needed to say this uninterrupted, "If I could, I would never let you go."
"But you can Arthur!" Merlin protested. "You can do anything you want. All you need to do is order me to wait." Merlin sounded frantic, as if trying to stop Arthur from saying the words that would shatter whatever they had, completely.
"No I can't. Not this. This is too selfish, and you deserve better." Arthur looked at Merlin at that, and smiled. His chest ached but he needed to do this. He feared he would never be strong enough to try again, if he didn't go through with this now.
"You don't deserve to be chained to me for rest of eternity." Arthur declared sadly.
"I could think of much worse things to spend eternity doing. This isn't half bad." Merlin tried to lighten the mood, but it fell flat.
Taking a deep breath, he turned completely towards Merlin, and grasped both of his wrists in his hands, and lightly rubbed his thumb over the gold bracelets- shackles, his mind supplied- around Merlin's delicate bones.
He looked straight into Merlin's eyes, this was important, and spoke as clearly as he could. "I love you Merlin. Which is why I need to let you go. My third and last wish is ... be free Merlin. I want you to break these shackles around you, and shatter all of the spells restraining your magic and binding you to the lamp, and be a free warlock once again."
Merlin gasped, and stared at Arthur. Then, he croaked, "wait! Back up! I lost the track of what you said when you started speaking. Did you just say you love me?"
"Honestly Merlin. Only you." Despite his heart beating in his throat, Arthur couldn't help the fondness overflowing in his heart, "Yes! I love you. I don't know when I developed such a crap taste but I do." Arthur repeated. He didn't want Merlin to ever doubt that.
"You love me." Merlin stated in a flat voice, and then bent forward until his forehead rested against Arthur's. Arthur closed his eyes, and he suspected Merlin did too.
"Yeah." Arthur swallowed.
"And you want me to be free." again a statement, not a question.
"Yeah." Arthur confirmed anyway.
"I thought you were going to ask for something else, anything else, and then I would be back with the witch and never see you again."
"Why would you ever think that Merlin. I would never do that." Arthur said, a little offended. He did not open his eyes though, nor move. His thumbs kept rubbing the bracelets, his breath mingling with Merlin's.
"You love me. You aren't sending me away. And you are freeing me." Merlin repeated in dazed disbelief, and this time Arthur just nodded, his heart aching.
"Why the hell would you assume I would leave you after all that. In case you failed to see the hearts in my eyes- even Mordred noticed them, mind you- I love you too." Merlin whispered, hushed, a you idiot! unspoken but obvious in his voice.
Before Arthur could respond, or even open his eyes, Merlin closed the few centimeters of distance that separated them, and green lips touched his pink ones. Merlin did not move them, or press them, just left them touching Arthur's for a few seconds, letting him get used to it. His brain took stock things in a baffled order. The first thing he registered was how human they felt, same shape, same texture. The second thought was that they were cold! Merlin- the genie- had no circulation. After that, it hit him like a bolt of lightning that they were Merlin's lips. Merlin lips were against his, kissing him. The realization made him surge forward into the kiss, pressing hard into Merlin's unresisting lips, and opening his mouth. All thought left his mind, except the need to kiss Merlin like a man starving for it, like someone who was terrified that this would be snatched away from him any second.
He felt the shackles under his hands break, and then dissolve into thin air. He did not open his eyes, but he sensed when the cold skin under his palms, Merlin's wrists, became human. What he noticed more though, were Merlin's lips, which grew warm first, then hot, like a searing brand against Arthur's, and sinfully wet.
He wanted to open his eyes and look at the man- the warlock- who had so completely turned his world upside down. More than that though, he wanted to keep kissing Merlin. He would die happily if kissing Merlin was all he did for the rest of his life.
Before he could make up his mind about which of the two things he wanted to do more, something else happened. Images started filtering into his mind, like someone plugs in a flash drive in a computer; memories- his but not his. He saw himself with his arms around Merlin's shoulder, punching him in the arm, throwing things at him. There were visions of him riding horses, fighting armies wielding just a sword, taking a bath, hunting- always, always, with Merlin by his side. He saw/heard/felt himself dying, begging Merlin to hold him, his faithful sorcerer never far away, not in life and definitely not in death. Loyal, wonderful, powerful Merlin. His Merlin.
He broke free from the kiss in a gasp, and looked at Merlin in a new light. He knew without being told, without any explanation, that what he saw just now were not just some random dreams. It had happened, he remembered. All at once, he remembered everything.
"Merlin." He whispered, and Merlin looked back at him with the exact same expressions that were on his face. Recognition, awe, and so much longing.
"Arthur." He suffused so much emotion in that one word. An apology, a plea, and sheer gratitude. "Oh my God, Arthur."
"You... you! You waited!" Arthur did not know how to express what he felt, realizing that where he had died, Merlin hadn't. All of this, all these centuries, it was Merlin waiting for Arthur.
"I didn't know. I did not remember. But yes, I waited. How could I not? Not waiting was not even an option." Merlin suddenly sounded lost, and Arthur could not bear it for one more second.
He moved forward, and dragged Merlin towards his chest, hugging him tightly.
"Why?" Arthur rasped, unable to comprehend why anyone would go through so much for him. He was nothing.
"I had to meet you again." Merlin said simply.
"So you? What did you even do?"
"The only thing I could think of. There was no guarantee I would live forever. Not while I was human. Didn't you always say I would trip on a straight path and split my head? I could not die while there was a chance you would come back."
"I am so sorry." Tears leaked out of Arthur's eyes, and Merlin started rubbing his back, calming him down.
"I don't regret it. Not a single moment of it. So don't you dare apologize. I would do it all over again in a heartbeat." Merlin confessed firmly.
"I love you." He knew the words were hopelessly inappropriate, but it was all he had to offer.
"I know." Merlin mimicked Han Solo, and through his tears, Arthur chuckled wetly. God! He loved the idiot. So much.
They stayed in the embrace for so long that Arthur lost the track of time. When Arthur tried leaned back finally, he had overcome the feelings of loss and regret. That was lifetimes ago. This was now, and right now Merlin and Arthur were both alive, and Merlin was staying! He would not let anything spoil this. Merlin though, he did not let him.
"Merlin?"
"Uh-huh." Merlin said into his shoulder, making Arthur realize he was clinging to him.
"You alright?"
Merlin nodded.
"Hey. Let me go?"
Merlin shook his head, and that's when he realized his shirt felt wet where Merlin's head was resting.
"Are you crying?" He tried to disentangle himself again, to look at Merlin, figure out what was wrong, but Merlin held on even more tightly, resisting him.
"What's wrong love?" Arthur gave up, and hugged Merlin right back, clutching him against his chest with one hand and rubbing his spine with the other.
"You are back?" Merlin answered his question with a question of his own.
"Yes. I am. Of course I am. You made sure we do meet again."
"I am so sorry I didn't save you. I failed you Arthur. I lost you." Merlin said, a hiccup punctuating his last sentence.
"It wasn't your fault."
"It was! It was my destiny to protect you, and I didn't even manage that."
"It's done now. What good musing over the past do. I am here now, and so are you."
"I had lost hope Arthur. I wanted to believe it but it had been so long, so I gave up. I made the Witch make me forget. "
"Wait wait. So the Witch is... good?"
Merlin nodded again, and Arthur laughed. This was surreal. "Well I'll be damned."
He felt Merlin smile against his shoulder as well, so he tried to disentangle himself again. This time Merlin didn't resist as Arthur pushed him away a little, to look anew at the person he was head over heels in love with. He noticed puffy eyes first, and the dried tear tracks on his cheeks. He wanted to kiss every single one of them, but that could wait. His gaze travelled up and down Merlin's body, assessing. It made Merlin's face heat up, and Arthur was extremely pleased to realize that human! Merlin blushed as easy as Genie! Merlin. He had just been planning on looking at Merlin to see if the clothes he got would fit, but the sight that met him was deliciously gorgeous. Merlin was thin and lean, with long legs and pale skin. His face was the same as the one Arthur had fallen in love with, just the skin was no longer green. His clothes though... his clothes were disgusting.
Crude cloth, even cruder stitching, with the colors almost faded, Merlin wore blue tunic with brown breeches, and the red muffler he had adorned even as a genie. Arthur guessed he should be grateful that Merlin wasn't naked when he regained his body, but naked Merlin was a very appealing thought. If anything, Arthur resented the clothes.
"Your fashion sense is abysmal as ever." Arthur commented. They had the rest of their lives to talk about the serious things, right now, Arthur had his priorities. He was sure Merlin would understand. "Lucky for you, I brought clothes."
"Nice to know your prattishness has not decreased any." Merlin retorted. Sure enough, he was glad for topic change. Smiling, he picked clothes from the many spoils of Arthur's shopping spree.
When Merlin left the room to change into something Arthur would consider decent, Arthur lay back in his couch and closed his eyes. Merlin had been his past, and Merlin was his future. He had lost him before, distrusted him, belittled him, and loved him through it all. He had died, with the words on his lips, wanting Merlin to know what he meant to him. He could still remember how his chest had hurt, and not just because there was a sword buried in it, but because Merlin was there like always, and he had never even told him he loved him.
He won't make the same mistakes again. By some miracle, and Merlin's pigheaded tenaciousness, he had him again. This time, he would keep him. Because he could... Because Merlin would let him.
"I love you Merlin." He shouted, because he was allowed to do that.
"Can we please have the declarations of love when I am not half naked?" Merlin asked irritably. Arthur knew it was all for show though. Merlin never could resist any affection, especially when it came from Arthur.
"Now where would be the fun in that?" Arthur smiled. He looked forward to the next day, and next, and the one after that, to the rest of his life. Maybe they would create a Magic School together, maybe they would conquer the world, and maybe they would be exactly the way they were now- lead perfectly normal, if luxurious, lives. One thing he was sure of though, whatever they did, they would do it together. He was no Seer, but he could swear that right at this moment, he saw happiness and only happiness in his future.
A/N:Here it is guys. The last proper chapter. The next one is just a 2k words epilogue. It's been quite awesome fun writing this story, specially considering I was only planning on it being a 5-6k words long and look at it now. Really hoping you all enjoyed reading it too. Love you all. I will upload the epilogue on tuesday because I have damned 24 hours emergency duty tomorrow. Ugh, I hate those.
