Thanks for being my cheering section,Yira!

Mulan stood in the doorway to their home holding three month old Mingzhu in her arms and patting her back. Her mother, Shang and Zhou were asleep. It was late at night and the baby had woken up to eat. After feeding her, she still fussed so Mulan was walking around the house with her trying to calm her down.

Seeing the moon was full and lighting a luminous path on the ground, she walked outside with Mingzhu still in her arms. It was a harvest moon, nearly as bright as day.

Mulan walked towards the temple. Stepping inside, she felt her Grandma Fa's presence strongly. She lit an incense.

"Grandmama, I miss you. You would love Mingzhu. She looks so much like you."

She looked around at the stones and statues.

"I know you hated Shang for what he did to me in the army. I think I'm finally beginning to move on. Mama has forgiven him. When she first found out the truth, she hated him, too. She slapped him and then gave him a second slap for Papa. It changed when Shang rescued Zhou from the barn fire, and shielded him with his own body from a falling fiery wall. He could have died from the burns he got, but he didn't. When he woke up, the first words out of his mouth were to ask if Zhou was ok."

Mulan turned to her father's stone.

"Papa, you didn't know the truth when you died, but I know you do now. I didn't tell you because I knew you would have killed Shang if I did. I'm sorry I didn't come home sooner. I didn't want to bring shame on the family after the war by coming home single and with child. I'm sorry I was gone for so long. I love you, Papa."

She stayed in the temple, kneeling with her eyes closed and Mingzhu sleeping in her arms. Tears silently ran down her cheeks. A gentle breeze blew through the temple. Mulan felt more peace than she had since she joined the army and her life had completely changed. She knew her father was not angry with her for staying away so long and that he forgave Shang for his misdeeds.

Mulan walked back to the house and gently placed Mingzhu back in her cradle, then curled up next to Shang and went to sleep. She slept the rest of the night without a nightmare.

The next night passed without a nightmare, and the next. By the third morning, Shang had noticed that he hadn't been woken by her screams in several nights. He noticed she seemed more peaceful than he'd ever seen her before.

Before they got out of bed that morning, he asked her if she knew what changed. She told him about the night she had visited the temple after feeding Mingzhu while everyone else was sleeping.

"It felt like Grandma Fa and Papa have both forgiven you. I've forgiven you. Have you forgiven yourself?"

Shang sat pondering this. Had he forgiven himself?

"No, not completely. So many nights when you woke up screaming, I wanted to fall on my own sword for the anguish I'd caused you. But knowing you and your mother have both forgiven me, and you sensing your father and grandmother have both forgiven me, helps. The only person who hasn't forgiven me now, is me."

"Well, what are you waiting for? Not forgiving yourself doesn't change anything, it just eats away at you."

"You're right, Mulan. I do forgive myself now."

"I love you, Shang!"

"I love you, too, Mulan."

She snuggled up to him and laid her head on his chest. She could hear his heart beating and felt his arms tighten around her while he stroked her hair and kissed her forehead.

"You're a wonderful mother, Mulan. You raised Zhou all those early years mostly by yourself. I know you're gonna be a good mother to our daughter, too."

"You're a great father, too, Shang. Our son adores you and Mingzhu loves to fall asleep in your arms."

She leaned up and kissed his neck and worked up to his lips. His arms tightened around her as he returned her kisses and she tangled her fingers in his hair. His hands ran down her back and came back up underneath her night shirt.

The moment was cut short by Zhou knocking on their door. "Hey Papa, are you gonna stay in there all day painting pictures?"

He was used to his army general father being up at the crack of dawn or earlier.

"Papa, didn't ya get enough beauty sleep, Princess? Or were you waiting for your Prince Charming to come kiss you?"

While Mulan had been pregnant with Mingzhu, Zhou had visited Shang at Wu Zhong for a couple days and watched him with the new recruits. Evidently, he picked up some army commander lines. She laughed, remembering being on the receiving end of those lines herself the first several days she was at Wu Zhong. Timeliness was never her strong point until she joined the army.

"Somebody's gonna clean the privy for a week if they don't get their ass outta bed!"

"Alright, Captain, I'm coming!" Shang hollered, laughing.

Soon after Mingzhu turned 1, Mulan was pregnant again. Once again, Shang had to train new recruits at Wu Zhong, but this time he planned to be back about three months before the baby would come.

Zhou was excited again about a new sibling and hoped for a brother. By the time this one came, he'd be 12.

This pregnancy was emotionally easier for Mulan than the previous one. She wasn't haunted by flashbacks as she had been before.

But she was tired, so tired. And so nauseated. Thankfully, Fa Li and Zhou helped her with Mingzhu. The tiny toddler had learned to walk, and enjoyed running around the property. Her curiosity and stubbornness identified her as her mother's daughter.

Zhou enjoyed feeling his sibling kicking his hand when he touched his mother's belly. He liked to talk to his "little brother" as he called the baby. He was sure this one was a boy.

A week before Shang was due back from Wu Zhong, Mulan noticed she wasn't feeling the baby move. She poked at and talked to her belly, but there was no response.

Fa Li ordered her straight to bed. Mulan stayed there for three days before the pains started. Her mother recruited a neighbor boy to ride to Wu Zhong to alert Shang. He left orders and came right home. The camp was only 25 miles away.

Mulan's water broke and within a few hours, just after Shang returned, she delivered a tiny, pale stillborn baby boy. His cord was wrapped tightly around his neck.

All four of them were devastated, but especially Mulan. She burst into inconsolable tears after the delivery. Then she stayed in bed for the next ten days, staring into space, not eating or speaking.

Nineteen month old Mingzhu didn't understand why everybody was so sad or why Mama didn't talk or want to hold or play with her. Shang and Fa Li did their best to explain to her that Mama was sad cuz a baby was going to come live with the family but now there wasn't going to be any baby.

Mingzhu toddled up and kissed her cheek and said "Mama sad, no baby?" Tears rolled down Mulan's cheeks. "Don't cry, Mama." Then she climbed up in bed with Mulan and wiped away her tears. "I love you. Mama's a good mama." At this, a fresh batch of tears flowed. The little girl hugged her tightly. Mulan held her close to her and sobbed.

When it was time for dinner that night, Mingzhu jumped down and grabbed Mulan by the hand. "Mama eat." Mulan shook her head. "I said Mama eat!" Mulan hadn't eaten in ten days, other than when Fa Li brought her tea several times a day and stood over her until she drank it. She shook her head again. "I SAID MAMA EAT!" Mingzhu grabbed her hand with both of her tiny ones and yanked. For the first time since she had initially noticed something was wrong with the baby, Mulan smiled. The child was definitely the daughter of an army general. She got up and let Mingzhu lead her to the table.

After that, even though it was incredibly hard, Mulan made herself get up in the mornings and eat and go about the daily things that needed to be done. Whenever she could, she slipped away to the temple and knelt there quietly. They had named the baby boy Zian meaning "son of peace". She took comfort in knowing her grandmother and father would watch over him.