Somebody Snitched on Me
Author's Note: Greetings, peasants. You can probably think of that one person in your life who drives you up the wall. Who always tries to ruin your day, and usually succeeds.
I have a dozen of them.
And at the moment, I am sharing a living space with all of them.
I hate my life.
"Pepper," Tony whimpered.
I'm serious. There is no other way to describe the sound he made. Definitely a whimper.
He was trailing after the Potts woman with a dejected look, gazing longingly at the device she held in her hand.
"Can't I have it for just one second?" he begged.
"No," said Pepper, without sparing him a glance.
"This is worse than the diet you made me go on last year*!" Tony wailed. "I can't survive without wifi for an entire month!"
"Sure you can," said Pepper carelessly. "It'll be good for you. And I know what you're thinking; you'll go use your secret little spare iPhone. But Jarvis told me about that, and I made him cut off all your internet access until I command him to re-allow it."
"Traitor," Tony hissed in the general direction of a speaker in the ceiling.
"What are these Eye phones you speak of?" I asked curiously. "Are they like computers, but in a contact lens?"
"I'm surprised you even know what a computer is," Tony said witheringly.
"Well, I do," I sniffed. "Thor, beat up this puny mortal for me."
"WHO ATE MA POPTARTS?" was I all I got in response.
"Poptarts?" Tony perked up, and drifted towards the kitchen.
I had no interest in such mortal sustenance, so I wandered into the living room, where the twins and the Vision were putting together a Christmas puzzle.
"That piece goes-" the Vision began, but Wanda cut him off.
"Stop helping!" she said. "That's cheating!"
"I'm sorry," said Vision, "I am merely trying to use my superior intellect to our advantage."
"Completing the puzzle isn't why you do a puzzle," said Pietro, fitting a piece into the partially finished picture. "There! We finally have the border done!"
"I'm taking a break," said Wanda, stretching. "Hot chocolate, anyone?"
"Me," I said eagerly.
"Okay," said Wanda, batting her eyelashes at me.
"If you dare break her heart," said Pietro, after she went into the kitchen, "I will boil you in acid and then ditch you in a dumpster. She only likes you because you both do the creepy mind control thing. She thinks it's hot." He gave me a menacing look before following Wanda out of the room.
"Hot?" I said, confused.
"Urban Dictionary should help you," said Stark, flopping down on the sofa.
And scattering puzzle pieces everywhere.
"They won't be too happy with you for that," I said smirkily. "They worked on it all morning."
"Has anyone seen Kermit?" asked Clint, coming in and taking off his coat. "I've been searching for him all day!"
"Kermit?" I repeated.
"Clint found a frog the other day and decided to keep it," said Natasha without looking up from her magazine. "Don't ask me why."
At that moment, Wanda returned with two steaming mugs of cocoa. She saw the puzzle and came to an abrupt halt.
"Loki did it," said Tony quickly, pointing at me.
"WHAT?" said Wanda, angrily banging the mugs down. "Loki, how dare you!? I bet you did it on purpose!"
I tell you, I am literally blamed for everything!
Pietro ran in. "Look, you've already broken her heart!" he yelled.
"I'm not getting you a single thing for Christmas!"
*Please read How to Live with a Demigod 101 by Insanity's Servant for more information. Seriously, go read it. I highly, highly recommend it. It is amazingly awesome, and the best Marvel Universe fic I have read.
Publisher's Note: In response to my reviewers:
Maniac at Midnight- That's wonderful! Er... I'm not sure that I'll let Loki use them, depending on how dangerous they are... But thank you so much! *nudges Loki* Say thank you. A/N: *grudgingly* Thanks, I guess... P/N: He's being sincere or he wouldn't even deign to talk. He's so bad at social interactions! And tell Nikki that he/she is very sweet! Thanks, Nikki! :)
DeVilDahling- Oooh, I really want to watch Once Upon a Time! I haven't been able to, yet. A/N: LILY LET ME WATCH THIS; IT SOUNDS WONDERFUL! P/N: Calm down, Loki. I want to watch it as much as you do! Thanks, DeVil, for reviewing! :D
TMNTGirl- I am with you on this! Bad Loki! Clint is awesome and SO UNDERRATED. Loki deserves what happened to him in this chapter! Uh-oh... *runs for my life* A/N: HOW DARE YOU! P/N: *evades Loki* *stops running* *straightens tie* As I was saying. Clint definitely deserves more love than he gets. I will rant with you. Naughty Loki! XD He has gone too far! Thanks for reviewing, btw! :)
PythonAnon- Yes, I don't think Loki likes it being called that. He has a thing against Stark's nicknames... #ReindeerGames *runs from Loki again*
the avengette- YOU ARE SO COOL. I wish I lived in your house... now I want to do that to my siblings! lol That's awesome. ^-^ Loki is so Grinch-y. XD
Guest- Um... *whispers conspiratorially* Loki shouldn't know this, because he has meltdowns when told he's a fictional character, but yes, I have already written the whole thing- well, most of it. There's a chapter or two that I haven't completed yet. Aw man, I wish the Avengers tower actually did exist! I would fly to NY without a second thought.
LadyofAnfalas- A/N: Thank you! It was a terrible day; but I like writing this because it gives me a place to vent my frustration. Let us just hope that the rest of my Avenging friends don't ever find this site. P/N: Thanks! Oh my goodness, now I want to go back and re-read that one. XD I forget what I write myself pretty quick. Man, I miss Lindir, though. I should update that story. Thank you so much! :D
TimeyWimeyINTJ- Thank you! :D It's a lot of fun.
Elessar's Daughter- A/N: Oh, don't go and die on me! I need you to help me grow my ever increasing army! P/N: Thanks, Elessar's Daughter! I'm glad it made you laugh. Killing people with laughter is definitely my goal in this. }:D A/N: Now you're starting to sound like me, Lily...
And thanks to the followers: halfcatvampire and I Am Legend Not Myth, and favourite-er: I Am Legend Not Myth. One of the coolest names I have ever seen. XD Thanks, Legend and halfcat!