I Put a Frog in Wanda's Bed

Author's Note: So really, admit it. This is excusable. After all, she falsely accused me yesterday of doing the unspeakable- destroying all her hard work on that puzzle. How could she? A little revenge was in order, surely. But no one would forgive even the most innocent act of revenge.

"Okay everybody," said Pepper, clapping her hands together, "it's time to decorate the Avengers complex for Christmas!"

"Are you serious?" said Tony. "It's already enough of a mess in here!"

Pepper ignored him. "Steve, you bring the Christmas boxes down from the attic. Clint, you make sure all the lights work. Nat, check the china and make sure none of it is broken. Everyone else, we're cleaning house!"

You may have noticed that I always get stuck with the worst things happening to me.

That's why I had to clean the bathrooms.

I will not dwell on that part of my day. Needless to say, it was truly traumatizing.

"Can you hang up this garland, Sam?" said Nat, pulling yards of fake greenery from a red box.

"Where does this nutcracker go?" asked Pietro, tripping over a stuffed santa.

"Can I set up this nativity set here?" asked Rhodie.

"This festive day, Christmas," said Thor, "it is ridiculous! How much Christmas junk do you have?"

"Hey, that's not the Christmas spirit!" said Steve. "Woah!" A pile of snowmen slipped from his grasp.

"I do not understand it either," said the Vision sympathetically.

"What's this?" I said to myself, picking up one of the scattered snowmen.

"Does anyone want some hot cocoa?" asked Wanda. She really likes hot cocoa.

It was all a whirl around me, and I was wholly at a loss as to what I was supposed to be doing after a while.

"Tony, I need more bulbs!" yelled Clint. He was hanging up a Santa Claus dart board.

Thor lay on his stomach on the floor, murmuring appreciatively as he flipped through a Christmas cookbook.

"If you step on that, you have a 98.3% chance of slicing open your foot," the Vision warned, as I almost trod on a collection of holly wine glasses.

I decided that I needed some peace and quiet, so I slipped quietly to my room.

I have definite proof that the Avengers are wholly bad. They made me share a room with Thor.

It was a horrible mess. You could hardly see the floor underneath all Thor's clothes, which were a mixture of Asgardian feast clothes and Midgardian casuals. I slowly waded to my bed, which was the top bunk. Thor had insisted on the lower one, which was just as well, since he would have fallen on top of me in the middle of the night if he'd had the top one. Still, he tossed and turned horribly and shook the whole bed all night long. I hate my brother.

I climbed into my bed and tucked my stuffed snowman under the Doctor Who coverlet. Then I sat and thought.

I needed a new prank idea. This wasn't good. A whole twelve hours had passed since I had last bothered someone- at least, intentionally. I desperately needed a new plan.

Then I got an idea. An awful idea. Loki got a wonderfully awful idea!

I slipped from my bed and tip-toed out of the room. Then I snuck into the next room down the hall.

I stopped short when I opened the door. This was the room Clint Barton and Sam Wilson shared. One half was scrupulously clean, except for one half-empty glass of orange juice on the nightstand. The other half was a wreck.

A pair of pajamas with an arrow pattern on them hung over Clint's chair. His bow was on his bed, his arrows scattered over the floor. Darts were stuck in the ceiling in the pattern of the Orion constellation. There were no less than thirteen different dirty dishes sitting on, around, and under his bed, and his drawers hung open with clothes (mostly black and purple) hanging out.

I had no idea Clint was such a messy person. I guess he hadn't told me everything, after all.

I shrugged and closed the door behind me. Then I began rummaging through Clint's stuff.

At last I found it, under his pillow (which was under three bird posters and a kite). The jar that held the means to my next evil dead: Clint's pet frog.

"Ehehehe," I cackled evilly. "My revenge will be swift and terrible!"

"Does anyone know what happened to my green arrow?" asked Clint. "I left it in a very specific spot!"

I shifted uncomfortably. I had probably moved it when searching his room.

"Yay!" said Pepper, coming briskly into the room. "We are all done with the Christmas decorating!"

"I'm exhausted," groaned Wanda, flopping down onto the couch.

"Now we need to make plans for the month," Pepper continued. "Guys, keep December 23rd free!"

"Why?" said Tony flatly, pulling his hat over his eyes.

"Because I'm planning something," Pepper sniffed. "We also need to pick a day to get our Christmas tree."

"Let's get a fake one," said Tony.

"But tradition!" said Steve.

**CIVIL WAR**

"We're getting a real one," said Pepper. "Tradition, Tony!"

Suddenly a scream ripped through the complex. Pietro leaped up, dropping his gameboy to the floor. "That was my sister!" he yelled.

Wanda streaked into the room, white as a sheet, but shaking with fury. "WHO PUT A FROG IN MY BED?" She held a limp Kermit as far away as possible.

"Kermit!" gasped Clint, clutching his hand to his heart.

I began to whistle innocently.

"IS HE ALIVE?"

"LOKI!"

"What did I do?" I protested

"YOU'RE GETTING NOTHING FOR CHRISTMAS!"

Publisher's Note: I had to put my stuffed snowman in here. His name is Keke and I have had him ever since I was three or four, I think. :) I'm letting Loki answer reviews again. Loki, be nice!

Author's Note:
the avengette- I agree! *SPOILERS FOR BIG HERO 6* Tadashi is most certainly not dead! I mean, I have died like ten times in my films, and yet, here I am! NO one dies in Marvel. :P *frowns* I should have thought of that... That would have been clever. But they'd guess too quickly it was me. They always know somehow!
TimeyWimeyINTJ- Lily is delighted. She's running around in circles and cheering. Thank you. Now at least she's not peering over my shoulder and making sure I don't say anything too rude. I kind of like Clint's frog, but what is Kermit and why did Clint name him that? I shall have to ask him.
I Am Legend Not Myth- I agree with Lily on the awesomeness of your name. I like you already. You agree with me that Tony is a horrible person, right? He's the true villain of each story! P/N: NO HE'S NOT THE POOR DEAR HE'S CAP'S FRIEND AND HE'S SO SAD AND I HAVE FEELS OH NO *drops to the floor in a mass of feels* A/N: She just watched the Civil War trailer. *rolls eyes*
DeVilDahling- I look forward to watching this! Asgard needs to start a film company. Maybe when I go back... I will make Thor play all the villains, of course. Although they are the funnest part. Maybe not. OF COURSE I'm the most innocent! These people slaughtered hundreds of Chitauri!

And a special thank you to TimeyWimeyINTJ for favourite-ing the story! My list of slaves grows! *rubs hands together*

I don't know if you guys prefer me to answer in the story or via PM, so if you'd rather get a PM response, just write PM at the bottom of your review. :)