A/N: Kind of a short but sad chapter. Thanks for the reviews, Yira, le. pechi , L, attackofthenight.

Mulan keenly felt the emptiness around the home after Mingzhu married. Qiang was still away at military school and Fa Li had passed away the year before.

Fortunately, Wei, Meili and Chen kept her busy. She helped Liu teach them to read and write.

When Mulan started feeling nauseous and tired, the possibility of another pregnancy was the last thing on her mind. It wasn't until she'd missed her monthly bleeding a few times and then started to show that it dawned on her that she was pregnant again.

As surprised as her and Shang were, they were also very happy, even if 46 did seem like a late age for a woman to have a baby.

Mulan's nightmares came back with a vengeance with this pregnancy. When she'd been pregnant with Mingzhu, the nightmares had been bad. With Zian's and Qiang's pregnancies, it had been easier.

There was one nightmare that had always haunted her more than the others.

In the nightmare, she'd labored alone all night in her cold army tent. The pains started after Shang had been in her tent forcing her again. Right before he'd left, he'd punched her belly and dug his knee deep into her abdomen. A sharp pain ripped through her, leaving her almost unable to breathe as she struggled through it.

The contractions gradually got more painful and closer together. A gush of fluid soaked her mat. Mulan was terrified to deliver the baby completely alone.

Finally, she felt the baby's head trying to come out, and bit through her lip trying not to scream as she delivered a baby girl. She cried and Mulan was terrified someone would hear. She cut the cord with a hidden dagger after tying it off with a handful of her hair.

She wrapped the baby up in an extra tunic she had and started to feed her when Shang stormed into the tent.

"What is it?"

"A girl."

He'd grabbed the baby and strangled her to death right in front of Mulan while she pleaded for her daughter's life. Then his hands had tightened around her own neck and everything went black.

She always woke up screaming from this nightmare.

The other nightmare she had wasn't about the baby, just about Shang.

After her shift of night watch was over, she'd gone to her tent, knowing that any minute she'd have company.

This particular night Shang didn't just leave when he was done. He pulled the tent entrance back and hollered out to the rest of the army camp that he had a naked woman for them.

Countless soldiers, her comrades, came into her tent and raped her until she passed out from the pain.

Thankfully, it was just a dream, and had never happened. But the fear of it had lurked in Mulan's subconscious and came out in her nightmares. She always woke up screaming and fighting, and usually cursing at Shang. (Hence, their children's colorful vocabularies as they grew up.)

As always, Mulan's terror went in waves. She'd have months or years with few panic episodes and nightmares. Then something would set them off and they'd come back in full force, sometimes several times a night.

She longed to be free from the invisible bonds of her long-ago traumas. With the return of her nightmares came the return of Shang being suicidal. She had to hide daggers and swords. Twenty-nine years later, his actions still haunted them both.

Baby Xia arrived healthy and screaming her lungs out, in true Li and Fa fashion. It took Mulan longer to bounce back after this birth than with the others, most likely because of her age. Meili and Wei, along with Liu, were able to help Mulan with Xia as she recovered.

Mingzhu and Ling came to visit when Xia was a month old. Mingzhu herself was with child, and due in about five months. They stayed for 3 days, then headed back home.

Four months later, a messenger came to the house. Mulan answered the door and let him in so he could deliver his message. Mingzhu and her baby had both died after a long, difficult labor. After hearing this news, Mulan screamed "No, no, no , no… Not Mingzhu!" Shang hopped out to her in record time on his crutches and held her where she had collapsed on the floor with Xia in her arms while they both wept. Liu comforted her three children, who started crying for their beloved aunt, while tears ran like a waterfall down her own cheeks.

The entire family was devastated. A message was sent to Qiang in military school, and he missed two week's worth of class and training after sequestering himself in his room for several days.

A message was sent to Zhou at Wu Zhong, but he wasn't able to leave. Ling had been at the camp but had left when a messenger had brought a message that Mingzhu was in labor and understandably he hadn't returned yet. This left Zhou as the only medic for 600 training soldiers until a replacement could be brought up from reserves. He barely had time to mourn his sister, but spent any free moment he could sitting in a solitary spot up in a tree that he had claimed as his own at the pond at Wu Zhong.

Everything stopped at the Li house. Mulan stayed in bed with baby Xia for several days and refused to eat, but only drank tea when told to. Liu had to keep the household going, often crying as she cared for her young children and prepared meals.

Shang spent his days riding his horse or shooting arrows at a target until his fingers bled. This reminded him of when he'd taught Mingzhu to shoot, and often tears filled his eyes to the point of not being able to aim.

Gradually, Mulan began to get out of bed more and come back to life. She broke down in tears frequently whenever something or other around the house would remind her of her oldest daughter. If it hadn't been for baby Xia, she would have shut down completely, but the tiny girl gave her a reason to open her eyes and get up every day.

She spent many a night in the temple with Xia in her arms, talking to her parents' spirits and the spirit of her grandmother. They had both lost children and she knew they would understand. Fa Zhou's older sister had died in childbirth. Mulan's own parents had lost a son soon after she was born. He'd been three, and was stricken with fever and seizures and died within just two days.

Shang often joined her out in the temple and they mourned together. He remembered Ling's promise to take care of Mingzhu, but tried to remind himself that there was nothing Ling could have done. Even though he was a medic, he couldn't save his own wife from the traumatic labor that took her life and that of their child.

The tragedy of Mingzhu's death, much like the many trials they had weathered in the 22 years they'd been married, brought them closer together and they helped each other to keep going every day and not give up.