Somebody Snitched on Me
Author's Note: I really like the snow. It reminds me of Jotunheim. Man, I miss my real dad...
Soft, white flakes flitted down from the icy sky and landed lightly on the ground, melting almost instantly. I pressed my nose against the cold window pain and my breath made a frosty mark on the glass.
"I didn't know you were so poetic," said Wanda, looking over my shoulder as I'm writing this.
"GO AWAY!" I shouted. I think I may have damaged her ears, but NO ONE reads over my shoulder while I'm writing!
"Look at all that beautiful snow!" sighed Jane Foster, who had come over for a visit. "You know, Darcy and I used to always make donuts on the first snow of the year."
"WE SHOULD TOTALLY DO THAT!" said Tony. "Pepper, get a deep fryer-"
"We don't have one, Tony."
"That's why I said get one. Pietro, the flour. I'll make the dough. Let's go!"
"Tony..." said Pepper.
"Tradition, Pepper! It's special!"
And so we made donuts.
See, it's things like donuts that makes me especially mad that I did not succeed in my Midgard Domination plans. I could have had endless, limitless supplies of them, drat it!
Tony put on a CD and the Avengers scurried around collecting ingredients.
"I want Holland cream in mine," said Clint.
"If I were able to eat, I would choose one with sprinkles," said the Vision.
"You don't get an opinion on this," said Tony huffily.
"Remember the last time you excluded Jarvis," Pepper warned with a smirk.*
"Chocolate," was all I said. Chocolate is heaven- I mean Valhalla.
"Loki, you're smearing chocolate frosting everywhere," said Pietro.
I get blamed for everything!
I had been becoming more and more attached to the idea of limitless donuts, so I began to hatch a cunning plan.
"Once there's enough snow on the ground," said Nat, glancing out the window, "we should go sledding!"
"Yes, we should," said Thor excitedly. "I will win this Midgardian sport!"
"You don't win," said Nat, rolling her eyes.
"You totally win," said Clint. "We'll race."
"What, do you have, like, a special steering arrow?" asked Tony sarcastically. I thought Clint's collection of arrows was pretty awesome.
"Actually, yes," said Clint, putting on his sunglasses like a boss.
"The recipe says that you're supposed to let the dough sit for awhile," said Pepper, scrolling around on her phone. "Hahaha!"
"What is it?" asked Tony, trying to see over her shoulder. "You're on pinterest? We're supposed to be cooking!"
"The recipe is on pinterest!" said Pepper, holding the phone out of Tony's reach.
"Lemme see," said Tony. "I want to search for new Civil War memes!"
"There was a really good one I found yesterday," said Cap. "But it was a 'cancelled' version."
"Even the frozen microwave dinners dude knows more of what's going on in the world than I do!" wailed Tony. "This isn't right!"
"Why exactly is Tony not allowed on the internet again?" asked Wanda.
"He's on an internet fast for December," said Pepper serenely. "And he's acting like a silly child about it. Man up, Tony."
"But I want my wifi!"
The timer dinged.
"The dough is done rising!" said Wanda, lifing it from the warm spot beside the fire. "Now we roll it out?"
"Yes," said Pepper. "Lol, Loki fanart always cracks me up."
"What?" I said, jerking my head up.
"Awww," said Wanda. She had joined Pepper and was looking at the phone. "He's got antlers and a Rudolf nose!"
"What is this nonsense?" I sniffed.
"Now we fry," said Steve, tying on his "America's Test Kitchen" apron again. "Tony, can you give me a hand?"
Tony reluctantly tore himself away from begging Pepper to let him have his wifi and began heating up the oil in the deep fryer.
"We should make some of them bacon donuts," he said.
"Eww," said Pietro indelicately.
"Holland creme," Clint insisted. "All of them."
"With arrows and birds on the side, I assume," said Tony. "You take obsessing to the next level, Clint."
Finally, the first batch of donuts was done, and I was able to start on my evil plan.
"These look so good!" said Natasha rapturously.
"Can I eat them now?" asked Thor, who had been begging for them like a puppy since the first came out of the fryer.
"I suppose," said Nat indulgently, reaching for one herself.
Thor grabbed one and bit down-
-into thin air.
"WHAT IS THIS TRICKERY?" he shouted. "LOKI, YOU HAVE SPIRITED AWAY OUR DELICIOUS SPHERES OF DELECTABLE-"
"OUR DONUTS!" yelled Nat. "LOKI!"
"YOU'RE-"
"I'M NOT-"
"NOTHING-"
"ANYTHING-"
"FOR CHRISTMAS!"
*This is another reference to my Cookies and Jarvis' Revenge stories. :3
Author's Note: Those donuts were really good. ^-^
the avengette- Ehehe, the cup is in a million pieces. But perhaps I can find another one. I've never heard of Second and Charles, but Lily has taken me to Hot Topic, which I assume is somewhat similar. They did have Loki Pop! figurines there, and they were awesome. I also like the Ronan one. }:D Although I'm way cooler than him. But I got a shirt that says: "I Solemnly Swear I am Up to No Good". It's perfect. I love it. I wear it all the time. P/N: Actually, I bought it, he just stole it from me. -_- Hazards of hanging with a deceitful demigod. A/N: Ehehehe...
serenagotisullivan- No, I haven't. What is this "Two Girls One Cup" you speak of? I'm glad you like my excellent writing. :)
Maniac at Midnight- How could you ever hate ME? The most likable demigod in existence? I don't understand! Your sister is cooler than you. }:)
TimeyWimeyINTJ- Yes, it's quite sad, isn't it. Maybe I can find one again, to give someone for Christmas. Wait, what am I thinking? Why would I get anyone anything for Christmas? Pffft.
Elessar's Daughter- Oops, sometimes FF. net acts up. :3 Thankyou. My lifespan has already lasted longer than people expected- I died twice and came back. Pretty awesome, huh? Yes, although my projection abilities are slightly hindered here on Midgard. As you see, I utilized them in sneaking away all the donuts. Still, maybe I can make a realistic projection of Steve. Ehehehe... And I would very much like to know how you got past the school Wifi! Teach me HOW! Pepper is cracking down hard on anyone who lets Tony use the Wifi, but he promised to pay well, so I need to figure out a way to get past Pepper. }:D
Jedi Kay-Kenobi- That's okay. Now you can simply be my slave for the rest of your life. :) And yes, Coulson is really scary when he's angry. I had to hide under my bed for three hours until he left. O.o
aschi49- Lily is very strict. She says Divergent is her least favourite book on the planet, and no one is to read it in her house. P/N: Do you know how weird it is to have an infamous Asgardian visit you every day to work on a story? You get a lot of weird looks, that's for sure. The Avengers don't really trust me. XD A/N: Lily, can I have the laptop back now? Thank you. *huff* She makes me say thank you. Annoying publisher... pffft. Oh, Lily says she perfectly understands about Life. She insists that it likes to come up behind her and hit her over the head with a bit of lead piping whenever it gets the chance. That's why she has a strange obsession with death. Maybe not that healthy... oooh, is there a way you can put it on DeviantArt or somethign? I want to see this masterpiece! although I'm taller than that... :P
RussianAssassin- Cool. I like cats. I hope it wasn't permanently scarred by your laughter. Lily says her cat is easily permanently scarred. She won't let me make it kneel. I like Lily's cat. Well, it's actually Lily's sister's cat. It's black and really regal.
lotrfangirl16- YES. Another Lord of the Rings fan. Lily is one of those. Simply RABID. But I am beginning to be one, too. Gollum is SO COOL. Yeah, maybe I won't get presents from the stupid Avengers. See if I care! *sticks tongue out at evil Avengers*
LadyOfAnfalas- I wish Lily had a mug like that. Sadly, no. :(