11

So I'm getting nothing for Christmas
Fury and Coulson are mad
I'm getting nothing for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nothing but bad

Author's Note: Not that I don't like music. I love good music. Asgardian music. Hell, even Jotunheim music. But even bilchsteim singing sounds better than tinny bells being rung by the inexpert!

"Grab your coat, Loki," said Wanda, tossing me a scarf and gloves. "We're going on an outing."

I was still in my bathrobe. I was still shivering from the cold shower this morning. I was still wet down the back from my wet hair dripping. I did not want to go on an outing.

"I don't want to go on an outing," I said. Perfectly affable. Nice and polite.

"You're such a wet blanket!" said Wanda. She rolled her eyes.

Everyone thinks that I can never be not doing something rude, mean, conniving, or naughty. It's not fair. Discrimination, I say!

"Will Jane Foster be there?" I asked glumly, pulling on my coat.

"No, just Pietro and I are going," she said. "It's to hear a bell choir, Loki. You'll like it. They'll play Christmas music."

"Christmas be-" I began, but thought better of cursing in front of a lady. I followed her out the door with an unhappy frown.

The church where the performance was held was extremely crowded. I frowned ferociously at an old lady who was elbowing me until she moved away with a little shriek, and wrapped my scarf around my face until just my angry eyebrows were showing.

"Loki, for goondess' sake," said Wanda. She grabbed my arm and started dragging me toward a pew. Then she shoved me down in the seat and thumped down herself, placing her muffed hands placidly on her lap.

The performance was starting. I suppose it could always be worse. It could have been violins. Amateur violinists are the Dickens.

"Speaking of Dickens," said Wanda unnervingly. I hate it when people manipulate my mind. Only I am allowed to do that! "We should read A Christmas Carol. It's my favourite Christmas story!"

"Ssshhhh!" said the audience.

I scrunched down in my seat. The only thing worse than listening to an amateur choir is having someone along with you who is loud and draws attention.

Ting ding ding, said the bells.

I covered my ears.

Tingblingdingbingtingting.

I buried my head in my scarf and scrunched down farther in my seat.

Finally, I couldn't stand it any more.

"SHUT UP, YOU FOOLS!" I shouted, and blasted them with my sceptre.

"Where did he get his sceptre?!" yelled Pietro. "Wanda!"

"I'm fine," she said, climbing out from under a church pew. "LOKI!"

Sirens sounded from outside. Police men and SWAT teams rushed through the doors, telling everyone to get under cover and yelling at me to stand down.

"Look what you did, Loki!" said Pietro, grabbing Wanda. "I think it best if I am not associated with you at this time." He zipped off.

"Loki, put down the spear," said Fury, marching in and pointing a gun at me. Coulson was behind him with his maddeningly calm smirk.

"I will do nothing of the sort!" I said, even though I didn't need it anymore. The bells were definitely, irretrievably silenced.

"Do you want me to blast that stupid sneer off your stupid face?" Fury threatened.

"Just try!" I said.

"This mess you made," said Fury. "I don't get paid enough for this!"

"Serves you right!"

"I'M NOT GETTING YOU ANYTHING FOR CHRISTMAS!"

Publisher's Note: Sadly, I'll have to answer for Loki this time. Not just for the reviews, but also for the problems he made. Right now he's in prison overnight. And he has a cold. And he keeps sending me nasty messages via Fury's phone, which he stole. *eyeroll*

the avengette- I LOVE PINTEREST. It's my second home, after fan fiction! :P I want to follow you; would that creep you out too much? You can find me under the same name: Lily Lindsey-Aubrey. I bet I'm the only one on there called that. XD Now I kind of want to make bacon donuts, too...
RussianAssassin- Haha, Loki says he should have thought of that. :P
lotrfangirl16- I'm still trying to decipher what this means. You sarcastically like Loki? Or you're being sarcastic about liking Loki? He's worried. XD
aschi49- *sigh* each to his own, I guess. I hate Divergent, couldn't get myself to read the rest. It's on my list of favourite books to hate. o.o DONUTS. The donuts we make never turn out that well :/ But I love the Colossal donuts you get at Shoppers. EPIC. You wouldn't think so, cause you get them at a grocery store, but they're the best ones I've ever had. HOLLAND CREAM. HEAVEN. That prank is PURE EVIL. How did you think of that? Loki respects you a lot now. O.o XD
TimeyWimeyINTJ- I love Clint's arrows! He is starting to be my favourite Avenger... oh no! My loyalty to Cap must keep him my favourite!
Elessar's Daughter- I would make an Allegiant hate club, except I haven't read it. I WILL HAPPILY MAKE A DIVERGENT HATE CLUB, THO. *ducks rotten tomatoes* I heard about the end of Allegiant, actually. I think I know what happens... Not sure, though.
LadyOfAnfalas- Loki says thank you from prison. He should be getting out any hour now... *sigh*

Thanks guys! Your reviews are really boosting Loki's mood. He used to mope all the time. Now he only mopes every five minutes. :) He's really getting better! Thanks again! Soon he won't be moping at all! Hopefully by Christmas. . .