Summary: Dan works at a small office doing coffee runs. His boss, Mr. Lester, needs Dan to do him a favor while his parents are in town for the next couple of weeks.

Genre/Tags: Fake relationship, getting together, alternate universe, slight homophobia (like not really but eh)

Words: 2,391

A/N: Hello no I am not dead. I've been really slow with writing lately so everything kinda sucks but that's okay because I managed to remember that I had to post this today lol

Dan's stomach twisted into a knot while he waited for his boss to arrive at the Starbucks that they planned to meet at. He thought he was totally prepared to meet with Phil today. He made sure he looked appropriate and suited for the situation. He hoped that wearing all black and a leather jacket in early autumn was okay.

He was still fidgeting in his seat and was twirling his thumbs around when Phil arrived. Dan didn't know whether to stand up and call out to Phil or just sit still until Phil finally realized where he was. The brunet looked around. The store was a bit busy and he didn't want to bring too much attention to himself. He hoped that Phil would recognize him in a small amount of time and just sit down with him.

Luckily for Dan, Phil found him fairly quick and promptly sat down across him.

"Hello Dan!" Phil exclaimed while smiling brightly at him.

"Hi," Dan said quietly.

The brown haired man took a short glance over the other man. It was unusual for Dan to see his boss out of his usual work attire. Right now, Phil was sporting a red bomber jacket and a tee underneath with a pair of black jeans and some shoes. Dan didn't want to admit it, but he did look really good and he was having a bit trouble to pay attention to Phil when he had been calling his name a couple times now.

"Sorry, what? I just got… distracted," Dan said sheepishly.

"So Dan, as I was saying… Before we get into anything… I know this is going to be very difficult, but I'm going to let you know right away that I'm going to help you as much as I can," Phil said.

Dan quirked an eyebrow up.

"I know that sounded weird, but if you ever feel uncomfortable, tell me okay?"

"Sure…"

"Alright, continuing on…" Phil coughed awkwardly. "I think we should start with all the details now right?"

Dan nodded in agreement.

"So, let me just tell you the entire story of how this came to be," Phil said.

Oh god. What did I sign up for? Dan said to himself.

"Don't you want to order something first? Maybe a coffee?" Dan asked.

"Ah, you're right! I'll be right back," he said while standing up. "Would you like anything?"

"Oh, no I'm fine." Dan denied his offer.

"Are you sure? It's my treat, come on." Phil edged on.

Dan sighed. "I guess you can get me a caramel macchiato?"

Phil smiled and went to buy the two men their drinks.

While Phil was gone, Dan pulled out his phone and noticed that he had received several texts from Louise.

From Louise
Hello Dan!
Received 7:14PM

From Louise
How's the date coming along?
Received 7:16PM

From Louise
Is he being a gentleman and paying for you?
Received 7:17PM

From Louise
I'll hurt him if he doesn't treat you well tonight.
Received 7:18PM

Dan rolled his eyes and typed out a response.

To Louise
are you kidding me i already told you it's not a date ffs
Sent 7:27PM

Dan looked up and saw that Phil was still in line for their drinks.

Ding!

From Louise
It may as well be… And it's perfect too! The perfect first dates are always at cafes ;) You're lucky Dan.
Received 7:28PM

Dan saw Phil coming towards him with two drinks in his hands, so he quickly replied to Louise before putting away his phone.

To Louise
pls explain
Sent 7:28PM

"I never knew you liked caramel macchiatos," Phil said as he placed down the two coffees.

"They're my favorite," Dan said, taking the drink. "Thanks."

"No problem." Phil sat down and slowly sipped on his drink before speaking again. "My parents and I used to be really close a long time ago."

Dan noted that Phil used past tense, so he decided to ask him, "What happened, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well, as you may or may not be aware of, I'm gay. And my parents were a little bit... shocked when they found out about me. Of course they were accepting, but they didn't quite like the idea of it. I came out to them when I was 17. We didn't really talk much after that. We used to be so close and I was really upset for a while." Phil paused. "Flash forward seven years and they decided to call me to tell me that they're going to be in town for a while. Of course I offered them to stay with me because even if they were a bit cold to me, they still cared. And I still care about them."

Phil sighed and Dan stayed quiet while listening to the older man.

"But then they asked if I had found a girl. After all of these years, and they still think that I'll end up with a beautiful and perfect girl. So I was a bit mad and ended up telling them that I married a man." Phil chuckled. "They were really surprised. I even surprised myself. It was stupid of me to do that though. Look at this huge hole I'm digging myself."

"So you just basically wanted to prove your parents wrong?" Dan asked slowly.

"I guess. It gets tiring… Even after seven years, it's still tiring." Phil admitted.

"I understand," Dan tried to say comfortingly.

"It's alright though. Maybe they'll get used to it when they see you around." Phil smiled. "Which reminds me… Since you're my 'husband' now, you're going to have to do everything a husband is supposed to do."

"Meaning?" Dan asked.

"Like… um… We might have to… kiss in front of them and yeah…" Phil's smile faltered and his voice trailed off.

Dan stared at the man like he was crazy. "What?"

Phil coughed and looked away with a slight blush on his cheeks. "I mean… It's only reasonable for you to do so. For us to really pull this off, I think we have to do it."

The brown haired man gulped audibly. "Okay," he replied shakily.

Phil looked back at him. "You'll be okay with that?"

"S-sure. It's not like I have any other choice."

"No no, if you're not comfortable, we don't have to."

"It's alright. It's just a kiss right?" Dan tried to force a smile.

The older man smiled softly. "Yeah, just a kiss."

"Anything else?" Dan asked.

"We'll have to come up with fake stuff probably," Phil replied.

"What do you mean by fake?"

"Like fake dates, fake memories... a fake wedding is most likely the most important one." Phil laughed.

"Yeah, you're right but how do we do that?"

"Well... let's see." Phil pulled out his phone and opened his note app and started typing. "We got married on... the 19th of October... in 2009."

"I was 18 in 2009, Phil."

Phil took a moment to think. "Well I was 22. And now you were too!"

"What?!" Dan almost screeched. Was he seriously suggesting that they lie about his age? He then looked around him and made sure no one noticed his yelling.

"Relax, it's not like my parents will ask for your birth certificate and as long as they don't see your licence, you'll be fine," Phil said nonchalantly, waving his hand.

"Okay I guess that could work. So I'm the same age as you now? That's interesting."

"You'd only be a few years older than your actual age, it's not so bad," Phil replied.

"Well…" Dan started.

"What?"

"Isn't that a bit… I don't know, young to get married?"

"My parents wouldn't care. They never really have," Phil said.

"Right…" Dan said. "Anyway, so when they do ask me, they'll probably going to ask me if I was so sure you were the one and then what? I'm supposed to just straight up tell them that, 'Yes, you are the one for me and we're perfect for each other even though I'm only '24' and I have many years ahead of me and I'm still in school'? What if they ask me about my education, Phil?"

"Just tell them that you're trying to get into law school."

"What?" Dan asked.

"Isn't that what you're trying to do now anyway?"

"Well yeah, but I haven't even graduated university yet, how am I supposed to tell them that I'm trying to get into law school when I'm not even close to that?!"

"They don't have to know that and technically it isn't a lie," Phil said.

"Yeah, like we aren't lying to them already," Dan said under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing." Dan replied. "This is all too much."

"I know, and I'm sorry but just go with it. Their main concern is probably if we're a normal couple like any other straight couples out there."

"Okay. So what else?" Dan asked.

"Hmm…" Phil looked back at his phone. "So yeah, we got married on the 19th of October of 2009. When did we meet?"

"Uhh, crap I don't know. Everything is just confusing to me because I'm actually four years younger than you," Dan said.

"We can say that we met in 2005? In 'our' senior year of high school. I can tell them that we met through a mutual friend," Phil suggested.

Dan groaned. "Oh god that's so weird. I was fourteen in 2005. This makes it sound like I was dating some pedofile."

Phil laughed. "Don't think about it that way!"

"How can I not?"

"It's all fake. We can even say that you won a football championship."

"Now, that's a bit of a stretch." Dan laughed.

"Yeah, you're right. I think you'd pass out if you ran for more than two minutes," Phil teased.

"Rude." Dan smiled.

Despite being insanely nervous just minutes before, Dan now felt incredibly comfortable talking to the older man and found it easy to joke around with him. He never thought he'd actually be having a normal conversation with his boss before. Not like this was a typical conversation that other people had every day. But strangely enough, Dan kind of liked it.

"So I think we should just keep talking about set dates and facts about our relationship and then later we could get to know each other a bit more and tell each other our little quirks," Phil said.

"Why little quirks?" Dan asked confusingly.

"Have you never been in a relationship, Dan? Little quirks are everything!" Phil said.

"Uh, yeah… I have been in one," Dan said awkwardly. "Is it really?"

"Of course!" Phil exclaimed. "That's how you know a true relationship will last. People know each other's quirks, annoying and all, and still deal with them everyday."

"That's interesting, I guess."

"Yeah, we'll talk about it another day," Phil said. "Moving along. We should have a favorite place that we like to go on dates."

"Will they really ask about that?"

"Maybe," Phil shrugged. "Couldn't hurt to be prepared, you know?"

"Sure. I really like that cafe you make me go to practically everyday," Dan said.

"Well, it is a nice cafe," Phil replied.

"So I guess that's that. What else?" Dan asked.

Phil thought for a few moments and typed some things into his phone before looking up. "Ah! How could I forget the most important ones?"

Dan raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"How did we fall in love?" Phil asked while smiling sweetly.

Dan rolled his eyes. "Are you serious?"

"Of course! This is essential!"

"Of course it is," Dan muttered before suggesting, "Well, we can say that I didn't like you at first but you kept pestering me until I finally gave in?"

"Why do you have to be like this? That makes me sound annoying," Phil said.

"Because you are," Dan said.

Phil pouted.

"I'm kidding, Phil." Dan smiled and Phil gave out a laugh.

"Don't forget that I'm still your boss," Phil warned.

"I don't think you can fire me now since I'm doing this huge thing for you."

"Yeah, true. But still."

"Oh, I'm so afraid," Dan said while waving his hands back and forth.

"Shush, you. Next one, who asked who out?" Phil asked.

"Definitely you," the two men said at the same time before staring at the other, each shooting daggers with their eyes.

"You just said you'll be the one who annoyed me until I went out with you!" Dan exclaimed.

"No, you said that. I never agreed. But if we're going off of that, then this is perfect. You could have gotten so tired of me pestering you until one day you just said, 'Ugh, fine. Go out with me, you nerd.' and then boom. Love." Phil explained.

"Ugh, fine."

"See!"

Dan rolled his eyes. "Whatever. What's next?"

"When did we know we were crazily in love?" Phil asked.

Dan started laughing. "I did not expect that one. Does it have to be a specific date or anything or should it be something along the lines of 'It was when I stared into his eyes for longer than seventeen seconds'?"

"Both sound really specific according to you. But yeah, sure. You can say that," Phil smiled.

The black haired man finished typing their details onto his phone and checked the time while he was at it.

"Oh wow, it's been an hour. I didn't think we'd be here this long discussing this." Phil laughed nervously. "Sorry if I took up some of your time, Dan. You're probably really hungry now, aren't you? Would you like to join me for dinner, maybe?" Phil asked politely.

Dan widened his eyes. He had already spent an hour with the man? He didn't even notice either. He initially thought it was because Phil was generally a fun guy who could make any social activity interesting, but he pushed that thought aside.

As nice as it would be to eat out for dinner tonight, Dan decided against it. He figured that PJ would need help cooking dinner if Chris wasn't there. He thought he could use that as an excuse.

"Sorry, but I have to get home. My flat mate probably needs help to cook," Dan said.

"Ah, that's a shame. Maybe next time then?" Phil suggested.

"Sure," Dan replied.

A/N: Abrupt ending whoops. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. See ya in 2-3 weeks! Thanks for reading this chapter!