CHAPTER 11 –THE LAST LAUGH

The release that the threatening tears were offering was a temptation no longer to be denied. She was losing the battle with keeping her emotions under control. They were crashing down on her in waves. She stumbled as she moved and had to put out a hand to prevent herself from falling. Instead of touching the desk she found that strong arms steadied her, supported her. She pulled back fiercely as if the touch of him was branding into her.

He waited till they both became aware of the atmosphere as it thickened between them in the suddenly to small room. The undercurrent was so intense that it almost seemed to paralyze her will to move. Resolutely she took a heavy step back away from Thorpe, placing herself outside of his reach.

"May I go now Mr Thorpe?" her voice no longer seemed to be in her control.

"You are in a great hurry to leave me now…?" Thorpe spoke gently, almost teasingly. "Is there nothing more we have to say to each other?"

"I think far too much has been said and done all in the interest of this case." She said coldly "…please save anything else you have to say for Lizzel. She may be gullible enough to believe you. I am not." She said turning away walking slowly to the door. His hand clamped on her arms stopping her.

"Joce, don't be like that…! I want to explain everything to you. If you walk away you walk away because you know I am right and I did what I had to do."

"Mr Thorpe I already know, everything thank you."

"Don't call me that?"

"What?" she said pulling her arm free of his grip and half running from the room? He called after her but she ignored him, intent only on making her escape. The tears were blinding her as she made her way to the street below. It was like one of those nightmare sequences in a dream state that the first person she should run into in the busy thoroughfare should be Lizzel, but she wasn't on her side, she was against her, and you suddenly realize that you can't trust them. She wouldn't be caught by that smile. There was more behind it.

She stopped and stared at the smiling Lizzel, a Lizzel who looked as though she had no problems in the world, compared to the one she had seen on the TV monitor. She felt the strong urge to take hold of the smiling person and strangle her before taking her gun and blowing a hole right where her heart should be, quickly wiping that smile of her face. And it was good she stood far away Jocelyn thought even more her gun was locked up home in her safe.

Lizzel stood there, she had been delayed in meeting Jocelyn but that was so they could snag the loviro brothers, now that they were not a problem she was here and she didn't know if it was a good thing or not. She was unsure if she should have more contact with Jocelyn. She stood where she was and said….

"Jo-jo what a bit of luck meeting you, I... I can see you have been having this whole messy business explained to you." She said looking beyond Jocelyn's shoulder and not at her… "Jo-Jo I am sorry for involving you in it. You've no idea of the wrist slapping I've had over it, in there." She nodded towards the doors behind Jocelyn.

Amazingly Jocelyn found herself half believing the sincerity of her words. She didn't know why but she did and it angered her more…. "How could you have been so stupid as to get involved with such people?" Jocelyn said still struggling to keep her temper and yet her anger begged to spill over in a flood of more profound, obscene words to hurt her Lizzel. She fought harder to restrain the pressing urge to hurt her. She did it against Thorpe and she could do it against Lizzel, because to reveal the true state of her feelings would be to kill forever the relationship which had once existed between them. Family ties? Fucking family ties, she could do without, save for her son and mother.

But Lizzel…their family ties were strong it was like a bond that even closest of friendships could barely match. And yet again the twit head had the grace to look penitent. Jocelyn didn't move even as she Lizzel moved towards her, upon her and took her hand clasping it in her own for a moment before releasing it.

"Please… please… Jo-Jo, believe me when I say how sorry I am. I am sorry also that I got in deeper than I meant to. And I sent for you because I …. I suppose I wanted to… to share my anxiety with somebody I trusted and love."

"Thanks a billion, is this how you show your love for me? Am I just some next body? Well I am not just some next body to use as you want I am your god damn only sister and I thought we were closer than." Jocelyn seethed wryly…. "I am surprised I am not dead or in jail because you claim to love me so much or trust me so much."

"Jocelyn please try to understand_ I figured since you were a cop, you would have a lot more experience and street smarts to handle this… I just couldn't you know,"

"Shut the fuck up. What do you think I am trying to do? But it's difficult to figure out how you could have been so stupid and how, what you put me in entails that you care for me at all. You almost put an end to my career, and do you think I would ever forgive you if you had, I let you get away with a lot of shit with me Liz, but you see my son and my career you don't get to fuck with them ever, so try again to make me understand what-?"

"I- because... Jocelyn!" she shouted, stopped and took a deep breath and said at last "I fell in love; I fell in love that's why." Lizzel said. "Jo if you have ever been in love you'll know what I am talking about."

"At one time," Jocelyn said as she chased the bitter taste away and fired up again with intent to wound... "But for you I guess it would be the elusive, Mr. Hamilton Thorpe. The crook, the thief, the drug pin… I almost forgot!" she hissed.

Then Lizzel gave her one of her tinkling laughs which shattered like crystals in Jocelyn's ears before sobering to say in a sentence. "Jo… you will laugh when I tell you Jo, but …" Elise continued to laugh in a tinkling manner.

Jocelyn felt her head begin to whirl; even before Lizzel spoke she knew intuitively that a moment of revelation had arrived, would be revealed.

"The man who you know as Hamilton was actually using an assumed name, because he and my real Hamilton was trying to lay false trails to deceive the … the men who were trying to con (Simon) a dear friend of mine whom they thought I was involved with into conning me to bring the diamonds through customs. So your guy who is John who is an acquaintance of the real Hamilton Thorpe whom I fell in love with thought up the idea to exchange identity. But I wasn't so sure I could go along so that's when I made the mistake of involving you, as you will know john/Thorpe told you to go back home, because it would seem I had compromised the entire situation.

In the end they realized that you weren't going back, so that's why they decided to hide me and keep you as the mole. Said you seemed smarter than I had been. So while john was undercover as Hamilton Thorpe and my friend Simon and I were in hiding, John was following up on the various leads discovered by Hamilton. So the guy you met at the party was really Elias's brother Charlie, and he believed that he could pass as his brother whom was missing at the time of the party which is why Charlie thought I was there when it was you. You have met the other players Shila and Russell Jurgen the limo driver and also their grandfather Henin the old gentleman you met on the beach believed that they had tricked me (you), into importing the jewels for them unknowingly. Isn't it all thrilling?"

"What?"

"It's just like a television show don't you think….? Lizzel continued to laugh annoyingly happy that she explained it to her Jocelyn or so she thought.

Bemused now by Lizzel's voluble explanation, Jocelyn was still aware of the desolation which filled her heart. Perhaps if she had waited Thorpe himself or rather John would have explained why they had exploded the first time around as they had. But did it matter? Clearly all he had been concerned about was returning the diamonds, which had been the cause of so much worry and heartbreak for her. He let her walk out that room today without even trying harder to stop her and explain. Even if he had to sit on her to keep her still, he should have tried. Jocelyn just nodded at Lizzel, afraid to speak. Lizzel continued to prattle away with her childish gibberish, at the same time she Jocelyn moved past her to leave hoping to never see them both again.

"Jo-Jo where are you going….?"

"I must go home Lizzel." She said simply not turning around. "I'm tired and it's been a long journey for me. I haven't even been home yet, I haven't talked to my son at all for the day and …. I haven't eaten… or anything." To her horror she felt a tear of self-pity slide down her cheek. She brushed it away swiftly.

"But you believe me right?" Lizzel asked.

She turned facing Lizzel and hoped she didn't see the tear track. She need not have worried. Lizzel was to full of her own new found happiness with her mystery guy and what she thought was Jocelyn's way of forgiving her to notice Jocelyn's misery. She nodded and as she made again to leave, she couldn't help but see her sister's face light up with radiant joy. Maybe now Lizzel would settle down and take life more seriously. Following her gaze, Jocelyn did not recognize the man who was smiling at Lizzel. She did not need to stay and watch as Lizzel hurried to his side and kiss him to know that he was the real Hamilton Thorpe. But when she hurried home and was safe and sound from the hurt outside did she remember she left her belongings in the room back at the airport. And nothing would make her go back to retrieve it. Nothing!

The walls of her flat pressed in on her like a prison, she felt constricted both physically and spiritually by events, circumstances and emotions, stupid emotions she wish she knew how to get rid of. She'd only ever felt this low after her husband's death, but everything was conspiring to plunge her into the blackest depression she had ever experienced in her life yet. Fiercely, spiritedly, she fought the forces which weighed her down. Finally free at last to indulge in the luxury of tears she found she no longer wanted to shed them. Perversely she found that anger was dominant and justifiable. She had been a pawn in a game and resented the fact that she should have been manipulated by those around her.

Obviously she wasn't as good a cop as she thought she was. Had time and a son made her soft? Jocelyn Carter was tougher than she looked. She was a good cop with a bad attitude for doing her job well, but she didn't believe that anymore, she had been humbled and humiliated by an imposter and her sister, she never felt once that she was being played. She gave up trying to berate herself anymore.

She called her mother, spoke with her summing up her getaway as something she wouldn't ever do again if asked, forgetting to mention anything about Lizzel and then she spoke with Taylor, she asked if he wanted to come home tomorrow, but he told her flat out that he was going to stay the rest of the week there, because he met some girl that he really liked and they were going to the movies the next day. She did everything right, by laughing when she should, rolling her eyes even though he couldn't see her and gave him a halfhearted warning, even though she was sure he couldn't tell her heart wasn't in it. She even let him get away with a few cheeky remarks.

It was after 6 in the evening and she was beginning to feel hungry. She changed into casual clothes jeans, boots and v neck sweater, slipped her gun in her back and pocketed her badge, then pulled on her leather jacket; she was done wearing pretty little dresses. She felt a lot better in her element, the gritty streets of New York required you know your place and it wouldn't be mistaken for a life painting sweet smelling and shit like that, the air was scented with a lot more things, shit… piss… garbage… car fumes… cigarette and weed… butcher shops… fast food and the putrid scent of alcohol everywhere and you sure as hell could see trouble from a mile away.

~~4 days later~~

"Mr. Reese, you're looking a lot worse for wear these days are you sleeping any?"

"Yeah Finch I do when I can."

"Is something on your mind?"

"Just the latest number,"

"I've never seen you lose sleep over a number, I don't believe you."

"I wasn't confessing, I was being polite by giving you an answer,"

"Mr. Reese, I need you to focus on the job, if you're distracted it's not going to do anyone any good."

"I'm focus Finch, doing this keeps me focus, okay I'm here and so far no one's died so I'd say I am focus as I'll ever need to be."

"I think this job is about wrapped up, you've got Detective Fusco running leads right, I think it would be okay if you took off and get some rest."

"I am fine and I don't need you telling me when to rest." Reese snapped walking away.

~~Carter's Apt. Staircase~~

Since her return to the states, she had not cried and she'd insisted that she get back to work per her captains insistence that she was supposed to be on vacation for another two weeks. After 30 minutes of staring each other down, he gave in, she needed to be working right now, and it was the only thing that was keeping her glued together.

After another alright day, breaking up a hostage situation, she headed home. Making her way up the stairs to her place she stopped upon seeing Lizzel sitting on the stairs. She really wasn't up to seeing her for a long time, she'd hoped possibly in 20 years at the most a long time was forever and she really didn't know if she'd live that long.

"Hey Jo-Jo_"

"Yeah," she replied trying to keep it cool, she wasn't going to give into anything Lizzel wanted or needed not right now at least.

"So I tried calling- um would have been nice if you had returned at least one of my calls," she said looking past Carter's shoulder avoiding eye contact.

"I've been busy; you know doing my real job, protecting people that actually need me."

"And what I don't need you, I'll always need you Jo, can't you forgive me this, I can't stand it when you won't talk to me."

"I think we pretty much covered everything we had to say, and if I remember you said what you had to say over the phone, your news flash was an accurate account of my life so far… I don't need a friend in you or anyone else, after all you're never going to be loyal to me neither is anyone else, I can only depend on myself for that, I don't need you caring for me, I've got my son for that and I've got my mother and I've got myself and I want to continue living my boring life like I always have and I want to stick to the rules, I don't have time for people who like breaking the rules."

"It's that attitude that's going to make you end up all alone long after Taylor's grown and gone off to live his own life."

"DON'T YOU DARE-don't you dare tell me what my life is going to be like from here on out without you in it, here's my newsflash… Jocelyn Carter Mother of the year every damn time,' 'Detective Jocelyn Carter awarded a medal for courage and bravery, for putting her life on the line to do her job, and not a fucking medal for getting shot in the leg while a handful of her loyal platoon betrayed the oath to serve and protect innocent lives' and last but not least 'decorated New York city Detective Jocelyn Carter Killed in the line of duty, moaned by her Son Taylor Carter and her mother Marilyn De Gauzon. No brother's no sisters, no husband and that's the way my story will write itself as long as I have anything to say on it." She barked in a low menacing tone.

"You really mean to cut me out of your life for good?"

"I don't have to, you gift wrapped it and placed it on my lap."

"Jo-J"

"Don't- your tears won't work on me, that look won't work on me, maybe in 20 odd years we can try again, until then I don't need you or anything from you, I can't tell you to stay away from mom and I can't tell you to stay away from your nephew, but you should try your best and stay away from me, forget about me."

"That's like asking me to cut off my nose,"

"I'm not asking you anything, I am telling you what needs to be."

"If I had known that this is what would happen I would go back and change everything,"

"To bad you can't this is the price of consequences incurred.

"I won't wait twenty years Jo, I know you're angry and hurt right now, so I'll give you time, I intend for you to be my maid of honor next year spring." Lizzel said rising and moving quickly down the stairs without a backward glance.

John knew it was wrong of him to invade their privacy like that, but he couldn't help himself he had to know if she was alright, though they still had disconnected the cameras at her place, they hadn't disconnected the audio and he hadn't destroyed Lizzel's cloned phone, he had switched on the audio and heard everything Carter said to her and it was clear to him that she was still more than angry at Lizzel and then some even if he attempted to talk to her she wouldn't be merciful on him as she was on Lizzel, she would shoot him on sight.

So he'd have to get in somewhere so he could talk to her in a civilized manner.

Unknowingly he started helping her and Lionel, leaving a few conscious crooks for them to bag. At first Carter was fine with it, but by the end of the third week she was pissed, whoever this Vigilante was, was ruining her job for her but Fusco didn't mind one bit, they were closing twice as many cases now and it made her feel increasingly uneasy.

After another day of collaring a bunch of gang members already tied up and waiting, the guys wanted to go out and celebrate, but she didn't feel like celebrating such a hollow victory. She opted to go to her spot in Brooklyn, the Brooklyn Inn, with its dark ambiance and high ceiling, decent food and German cocktails.

John Reese was just finishing his update with Harold, when the machine started beeping letting them know they had a new number.

"Who is it this time Finch?" he asked hiding his annoyance at the machines timing, he should be following Carter, she didn't go to celebrate with Lionel and they and his gut was telling him, that he needed to stay close to her tonight.

"It's a girl, Theresa Bane, 16."

"Where is she from?"

"Wesley Hills..."

"That's like ninety minutes away."

"I wasn't aware that you needed to be someplace else."

"I don't … Just hate the traffic is all."

"I'm sure the Ducati can get you there in an hour or less."

"We'll see."

"Mr. Reese… please try- to be careful when you're hitting that top speed."

"Thanks dad…" he said with a small smirk his first in as many days.

~~Brooklyn~~

Carter pulled on her jacket before getting out, she should have gone home and put her gun away, but she was already here so she'd have to tote it with her. The temperature had dropped a few degrees; she could feel the cold snap of wind rushing up her legs.

Opening the door she was immediately greeted by the warmth of the inn, it wasn't as crowded either; she took up purchase on a bar stool at the end.

"Hallo schöne Frau, (Hello beautiful lady)" greeted Amalricius in German.

"Hallo schöner, (hello handsome,)" she replied in German.

"It's been a while work keeping you busy?"

"You have no idea,"

"The usual or you want something to warm you up first?"

"Make it a double to warm me up then bring my usual and two Bratwurst im Brötchen"

"Two Bunnahabhain, followed by a Weihenstephaner bier and a double Bratwurst im Brötchen," after he'd placed her order, and served her drinks and two other customers he came back and asked…

"Something on your mind,"

"Danke freund (Thank you friend) but I don't want to talk about it."

"In Ordnung, (Okay,) but if you want to- know that I am here, we can sit in the back away from everyone."

"I know but- I just, it's really nothing, I'm just frustrated with work, plus I miss my kid, but he'll be home day after tomorrow so it's nothing honestly."

"Okay, but my offer to marry is still on the table."

"And one of these good days I'm going to accept your offer."

"I'm serious… you just say the word I have already told Matilda that if she doesn't stop being a good wife to me I will leave."

"I'd like to see you try though."

"Entschuldigen Sie Mich (excuse me,)" he said going to his waiting customers.

John was hitting almost top mark when he got a clear stretch, but the damn traffic wasn't thinning at all. He had been traveling about 10 minutes under an hour and it would probably be longer when he tried to get back, he wouldn't care one bit if the damn nagging feeling would just go away, but it wouldn't.

"Finch_"

"Reese_"

"Where's the girl now?"

"All I can tell you is that she went to the movies with a friend, but Theresa isn't just a normal kid, her parents are pretty well of, a couple millions well, her Father is a top neurosurgeon, she has somewhat of a rebellious streak, but other than she's a good student, and her face book page says she has a boyfriend name Jep Wiley."

"Is Jep short for something?"

"No, it's on his birth record, he plans on going pro in tennis, he has an older brother a mechanic, his mother is still alive she is a broker, father died 4 years ago, of cancer."

"So where's the danger?"

"I'm looking," Finch growled

"Well dig deeper and get me an exact cinema and something more before I get there." John growled back