Climbed Potts Tower and Tore my Pants

Author's Note: Another one of those incidents where nothing was my fault. Blamed for everything, that's me. I was merely trying to be helpful!

The Avengers complex was very quiet. Too quiet. Most everyone was out Christmas shopping, and I was bored.

I wandered into the kitchen and snuck some of Thor's poptarts, but I was still bored.

I went to my room and threw Thor's clothes on the floor (well, the few garments of his that weren't already on the floor), but I was still bored.

I snuck to Tony's car and keyed "Loki'd" on it, but I was still bored.

So when Pepper said, "Does anyone want to give me a hand?" I didn't mind that she decided that I had volunteered (I hadn't; there was just no one else in the building).

We got into her (very nice) car and started towards the newly-erected Potts Tower. "What I want you to do," she said, "is climb with this-" She held up a big ball of red and white plastic- "to the roof of the tower, and set it up. Then you'll inflate it and tada! Nice Christmas decoration."

"Are you joking?" I said, sneering.

"Aren't you the all-powerful Loki?"

What could I have possibly said to that?

That is how I found myself climbing the tower, Tom Cruise-style, with the plastic thing held in between my teeth.

It is much harder than it sounds, I promise. When I finally got to the top, I was soaked in sweat, panting for air, and red in the face. And I'm a demigod. I flopped down on the roof and lay there gasping for several minutes.

A strange noise began emanating from my pocket, and I remembered that Pepper had lent me a phone. I picked it up and cautiously tapped the green phone button.

"Hello?" I said.

"Are you up there yet?" asked Pepper impatiently. I could almost hear her foot tapping on the pavement a hundred of feet below.

"Yes," I said, puffing out my chest.

"Well, you need to start setting up the thing," she said. "See all the ropes connected to it? You need to fasten them down somehow."

It took me another hour to tie all the ropes down. "Can I come down now?" I whined.

"No, you need to inflate it," said Pepper.

"What?"

"Blow into the hole until it's inflated."

"What?"

"What do you not understand about 'blow'?" said Pepper testily.

"You want me to inflate the whole thing? With my LUNGS?"

Pepper was silent for a minute. "Well, you are a god, aren't you?"

"Demi-god," I corrected humphily, but I began to blow the thing up.

It was dark before I finished the job. I staggered to the edge of the building. And realized something.

I did not have the strength to climb back down.

"Pepper, call a helicopter," I said into the phone. But the battery had died.

I whimpered and collapsed in a heap. There was nothing for it. I'd have to at least try, and if I died, I died.

"It has been a good life," I said sentimentally, placing my hand on my heart. Then I let myself over the edge of the roof.

I was right about not having enough strength to make it back down again. I yelped when my grip loosened and I began sliding down the tower.

I think I screamed all the way down. I didn't stop screaming when I landed in a smushed bundle at the base of the tower.

"MY BONES ARE BROKE!" I shrieked.

"Loki?!" said Cap, coming around the corner. He looked me up and down for a moment, frowning. "Are those the NEW pants I JUST BOUGHT for you?!"

I looked down. My jeans were ripped. Tattered. Definitely ruined.

"I spent money on those!" said Cap. "Count that as your Christmas present this year, because I'm not getting you another one!"

A/N: *sigh* They were a nice pair of pants... I think this was revenge for stepping on Pepper's plants.

rbavenger- Actually, Stark had no idea the azaleas were there, either. In fact, he felt so sorry for me (he says Pepper is like that a lot) that he forgave me for keying up his car, too.
Maniac at Midnight- WHY IS EVERYONE SUDDENLY MAD AT ME FOR SOME REASON? You don't understand. All the avengers hate me! You people are the only people... *sniff* who understand... *sniff* the real me! Why would you want to destroy my poor life?
aschi49- Wait, is Maroon 5 the one that does Payphone? Or am I completely mixed up? I feel like I've heard a song by them, though. Lily's sister loves Monster and showed it to Lily, who now loves it too. It's a good song. My favourite is still Demons, though. :) Eh, I always think of horrible things to do to people hours after it's too late. It's annoying. :(
DeVilDahling- I am not that nice. Pepper does not deserve puppies! And um also I don't have any midgardian money. :(
RussianAssassin- I already stuck magnets to his arm. He beat me up afterwards. And he hasn't shown up again. I think he hates me. Thanks for the caramels! Lily stole half of them.
Elessar's Daughter- HE IS A BRONY. Ask him yourself. XD Thor won the ugly sweater contest when he pulled on an orange one in a nineties style with green reindeer on it.
MOSObsessed- P/N: Actually he had a very good reason! And if he didn't, we would never get this story. Poor Odin. He's underrated, too. After all, he saved Loki's life. A/N: LALALA I AM NOT LISTENING
the avengette- Haha now I am always going to call Thor my favourite idiot. No, maybe my least favourite. Depends on the day, I guess. LOL I never thought about LIke A Boss that way before. You must get a lot of snow in your area. Lily hasn't gotten snow where she lives yet. She is really frustrated. She wants a White Christmas very badly. Lily likes to act out memes too. She likes the DO ALL THE THINGS one, if you know what that is, and she always tries to act out troll faces like the one that says LOOOOOOL really loud. It looks really weird if you're not familiar with the troll faces. XD HAHA nice mustache, Julia! Okay that sounded weird. XD ahem. What do you mean by "cameo"? Like a cameo picture? OR do you mean I should make a cameo in Civil War? P/N: YES I will happily explain the fandoms to you! Lord of the Rings is especially awesome. When I can find you on pinterest I'll message you. Which Julia Davis is you? XD I think you would love Lord of the Rings- although the book is long and hard to get through. Some people think the movies are boring, too, but I don't think so. THEY ARE AWESOME. This is my favourite fandom after Doctor Who. Be prepared to hear fangirling. XD A/N: She fangirls all the time. :P

Thanks Sounduser for following this story! :)