Somebody Snitched on Me
Author's Note: I'm beginning to really like Midgardian movies. I was actually looking forward to this one, since people had talked about it so much. Did it live up to my expectations? Well...
"Hey guys," shouted Tony, running into the room and waving his iphone around in the air. "Guess what? The Force Awakens has gotten the highest tomato rating* of any Star Wars film yet! It's gonna be AWESOME!"
"Wouldn't count on it," said Rhodey the wet blanket from where he sat reading a newspaper.
"I LOVE Star Wars!" said the Vision passionately. "It's so full of aliens and robots!"
"What are you doing with the internet, Tony?" reprimanded Pepper. "Remember your fast?"
"Oh, shut up," said Tony rudely. "It's Star Wars."
"When are we going to go see it?" asked Steve. He glanced at his watch. "I'm free tonight!"
"Excellent," said Tony, rubbing his hands together. "Tonight it is."
"I, too, would like to see this motion picture," said Thor. He swung his hammer around in a circle. "The first Wars of the Stars were most entertaining. That earthlings would think that the great outer space is like that amuses me greatly."
"Stop acting so superior," said Jane sniffily. "We science, too."
"Of course, my dear," said Thor, flustered. "Just- Midgardians are a little- naive about some things..."
"I can't wait!" squealed Tony, jumping on the couch. "Did you know that I've seen all the new ones at the theatre?"
"Lucky," muttered Steve, who had been fast becoming a Star Wars fan ever since his emergence from the ice.
"I like the films, too," I commented, but no one listened. "I especially like Obi-Wan," I added, but no one listened again. "Anakin is a jerk," I said at last.
"WHAT?" yelled Natasha. "He is SOOO HOT!"
I could not keep a disgusted look from crossing my features. "He is hideous and creepy and evil. Why would anyone like him?"
"Sounds like somebody I know," said Tony indelicately. I can only assume he was speaking of Thor.
"Master Obi-Wan Kenobi is admittedly a very cool individual," said Thor, sipping his coffee. "I like his- what do you call it- light saber."
"Darth Maul's is cooler," I muttered. No one listened again.
"We'd better start getting ready," said Pepper, slapping her hands together and standing up authoritatively. "Clint, I want paper. Natasha, a pen. Vision, pull up IMDb and find the character list on Star Wars."
"What exactly are we doing now?" I asked boredly. At least, I tried to sound bored.
"We're going to stick all these characters in a hat," said Pepper, scribbling names on small pieces of paper, "and we're each going to pick one to cosplay as."
"Are you serious?" I groaned.
"Pick a name," Pepper ordered Tony.
"I get to be C3-PO!" Tony cheered, waving his paper frantically. "I can just paint my suit gold..."
"I'm Obi-Wan," said Steve happily. "That can't be too hard."
"Yeah, all you need is a brown piece of cloth lying on the ground," I said dryly. No one paid any attention, much less laughed.
"I wanted to be Obi-Wan," pouted Thor.
"You know what," said Clint, "I think I should pick another paper. I got Leia."
"I'll take that one," said Natasha. "Although I hate her guts."
"That means I'll get Padme, right?" said Jane eagerly.
"Who does that leave for me?" frowned Pepper.
"Uh... Queen Amidalla?" said Jane. "Or... Anakin's mom..."
"Ummmm... no," said Pepper decidedly. "I am not going to be someone's mom."
"You can be fem!Vader!" suggested Clint. Natasha facepalmed.
"I got Senator Palpatine," said Thor. "But can I just be Darth Sidious?"
"Okay, now I got Anakin," said Clint. "Nothin' doing. Lemme pick again."
"I'm sorry, there are no archers in Star Wars," said Tony.
"I will be R2-D2," said Vision happily. "I feel we share a special bond."
"You know what," said Clint, after drawing Jar-Jar Binks' name, "I think I'll just go with Darth Maul."
"I wanted Darth Maul," I said grumpily. No one listened.
"Here's your paper, Loki," said Pepper, holding out the last scrap. I took it with a feeling of nameless foreboding.
"Darth Vader?!" I yelled, and threw it across the room. "Of course I get the most boring character in the whole Star Wars universe!"
"Darth Vader is everyone's favourite," said Pepper.
"Everyone dresses as Darth Vader," I groaned. I fell to my knees. "Whyyyyyy?!"
"I think you're perfect for the part," said Tony. "I'll even help you find a costume."
I huffed, but eventually I agreed to this.
"This is it, guys," said Tony excitedly, and hummed, "I love the smell of Star Wars in the evening..."
"I love theatres," said Thor, practically shaking with excitement. He pulled up his hood and brandished his lightsaber. "How do I look?"
"Like an idiot, and not at all like Count Dooku," I said dryly, and pulled off my helmet. It was really hot.
"You need to practice your Vader voice," said Tony, and slammed down the view screen of his suit. "Pepper, you look awesome."
Pepper had eventually decided to be fem!General Grievous, which looked really weird, but no one dared mention that.
"I'm afraid I don't look like her at all," worried Jane, trying to fix her hair and hold a mirror at the same time. Thor patted her back comfortingly.
"You look just exactly like her," he said encouragingly.
"Are my feet showing?" the Vision hissed to me from inside the trashcan.
"No," I said.
"Beep bip bop," said Vision, as thanks.
"This is the best costume ever," said Steve, whipping out his lightsaber. "Man, if only Bucky were here..."
"Hey, look, it's Director Fury!" said Natasha excitedly. She waved, trying to hold her two hair buns on at the same time.
"What are my Avengers doing at a movie theater?" asked Nick Fury, annoyed. "You all supposed to be working!"
"Hey, everyone has to see Star Wars," Tony protested. "Is that a Mace Windu outfit?"
"Yup," said Nick proudly, and pulled out a lightsaber. It came to life with a soft buzz and everyone ooohed and aaahed. "This is a special Shield prototype," he said.
"Yeah, I helped him with that," said Coulson, who was dressed as Qui-Gon Jinn.
"Hey, look," said Tony, nudging Pepper and pointing to Maria. "She dressed as Anakin's mom."
"The line's finally starting to move," said Natasha, clapping her hands excitedly. "Come on!"
"My ticket is all ready," said Nick, burrowing in his pocket. "Oooh, this is gonna be good!"
"Ticket?" said Tony blankly. Then he gasped. "Tickets! They'll be all sold out!"
"You didn't pre-order tickets?" said Maria, aghast. "You'll never get in!"
"Oh, dear," groaned Pepper. "All this work for nothing!"
"I can't live without my Star Wars!" wailed Thor, throwing himself down on the floor.
"See ya, suckers," said Nick, handing his ticket to the cashier. "I'd also like five boxes of Junior mints..."
"Snap, snap, snap!" said Clint, slamming his double-sided lightsaber on the ground.
"Hey, we can see it tomorrow night," sighed Pepper. "I'll order the tickets."
"At least we all have our costumes ready now!" said the Vision brightly.
"I'm hot in here," I said. "I don't like this costume."
"Darth Vader is the coolest character," said Tony. "You should be happy you get to cosplay him."
"I hate Darth Vader," I muttered.
"What did you say?" asked a random passerby.
"I SAID I HATE DARTH VADER," I shouted.
There were gasps from the Star Wars fans all around.
"HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT?!"
"YOU'RE NOT A REAL FAN!"
"OOH, I KNOW SOMEONE WHO SANTA ISN'T GOING TO BRING ANY PRESENTS TO THIS YEAR!"
Author's Note: Sorry it's so late! You see, I only just got back from the theater. But, I am a little bit happier today. I got a couple more reviews than last time. Thanks, peoples of Midgard! And know, thou evil vermin who neglect to review, that one day I will get my revenge when I rule your puny planet! P/N: Don't take it personally, he gets upset easily! D: A/N: That I do.
Julia- I think I finally found you! *claps* Cyber school sounds like fun. Lily does something like that- she likes Khan Academy to do stuff online. I REALLY WANT THAT TO HAPPEN in Civil War! I mean, I really should get a guest appearance because I'm everyone's favourite character! Plus, they really need Pietro to say he walked it off. It's the promise of the premise! Come on, Marvel, get a move on it! YEAH. Where Lily lives it's supposed to be in the 50s too. She's in Virginia. She has this thing that she's disappointed that the Winter Soldier wasn't actually set during winter. It would be cool to see DC in the snow and everything.
Maniac at Midnight- *sniffs condescendingly* NOBODY. Kicks my you-know-what. Not ANYBODY. Never. But I will happily kick yours if you dare insult me again. P/N: Loki, be nice. A/N: I DO WHAT I WANT.
aschi49- I love Payphone! XD But I listen to a cover of it instead of Maroon 5 because their's has some bad words in it. I don't think I listen to any other of their stuff; maybe I should look them up. I have a whole "Running" playlist, but do I ever run? Nah. lol I haven't seen Rise of the Guardians, but it is definitely on my watch list! I really like How to Train Your Dragon and Megamind by Dreamworks, so I think I'd like it a lot. :) hehe Lily has to see family the day after Christmas, and although they're all nice and all, she gets nervous because some of them are weird, and they're all older than her, and things get awkward easily. YES CONGRATULATIONS! Go you! XD That is awesome. XD Ehhh... I specialize in projections. I can't conjure up whatever I want, unfortunately. I could have projected a slide, but then when I tried to slide down, things would have gone badly. O.o Meh, no problem. Thanks for reviewing! :D OH AND I HAVE READ THE MAZE RUNNER. IT IS SO PAINFUL. OKAY OKAY NEWT IS MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER OKAY AND I HAVE DIED A THOUSAND DEATHS OF PAIN READING THAT TRILOGY. But I hated the prequel. I want to read the next one though. Oh you gotta see Ant-Man. It's awesome. It's out on DVD now so hopefully you can watch it soon! Redbox, maybe? It's not that expensive to rent on Redbox, if you have one nearby. I'm trying to get some to Asgard. I have not seen the Maze Runner movies yet, but I really want to. I love Thomas Brodie-Sangster, which is another reason I love Newt. Hang on, that was Lily typing over my shoulder. I think she has a crush on a certain person...
Elessar's Daughter- Hehehehe. Yes, yes, I am having very much fun composing this song. Sing it and annoy everyone, by all means! It's nice to know that my influence is causing mayhem all over the globe! }:)
DeVilDahling- Lily wishes that, too. But you have to remember that I am the mighty Loki, and everyone loves me. :) It makes all the difference. Maybe if you become an evil villain, too...
Thanks, guys! Have any of you seen the Force Awakens yet? NO SPOILERS! I'm still waiting to watch it! XD