CHAPTER 17 – SINS OF A MOTHER

Tears stung the back of her eyes but she wouldn't let them fall. She wouldn't show any weakness, she was going to do everything to get her son back alive. This was her fault, she had a lot of enemies and one of them was coward enough to try to get to her through her son. He shouldn't have to pay for her sins, the being that she was a simple police officer who tried to do the right thing. She was in her car waiting exactly at seven her phone chirped that she had a new message.

"Get the five million dollars in the NYPD evidence holding bay and I know you know there is 5 mil in holding… further instructions will be sent at 6pm."

S

Carter banged the steering wheel repeatedly. How was she going to get in and just walk out of the PD with five million in cash? It didn't matter, she would do it. Most of the guys in her department would be off including her partner.

~ EVHB~

"Morning Steve,"

"Morning detective, what can I do for you?"

"I've got to go over some evidence; the captain is now helping those CIA shits, and that fool Snow is out for me, he has designated me to comb through the evidence in relation to a couple cases concerning our guy in the suit."

"Is it true you cracked his nuts?"

"Damn right I did," she said as he opened the gate for her

"Do you want me to help you locate anything?"

"No its fine, I have it written down here, I'll get that fool for calling me out on my day off."

She moved along the shelves, going further and further into the back, finally she located the black bags containing the money. This would truly be a task to get five million out undetected. She picked out the larger evidence boxes and quickly emptied its contents and packed as much money in, before placing the original contents back in at the top, four boxes later she had one bag empty she replaced the contents with a box to keep the bag bulky."

She carried two boxes at a time up to her desk, she opened the bottom drawer and making sure no one was in sight, quickly packed the money in the drawer, she kept the boxes for another hour and then carried them back down.

"Not wasting time are you Carter?"

"I'd like to get home to my son sometime today." She replied signing of by each box she had taken out it was a necessary procedure.

Then she looked for other boxes and emptied the other bag of money doing the same to it as the first. At her desk again she unlocked the drawer, emptied the money and kept the boxes a bit longer, before returning them. She looked at her watch it was now 12 noon and she had just stolen 5 million dollars out of the evidence holding bay, she just had to walk out with the money and she'd be closer to getting her son back. She went down to her locker and got her gym bag, it was big enough. Again she made sure no one was in sight and stuffed the money in the bag, she threw her jacket over it and tried to walk as casually as possible out the door without looking like she was carrying a heavy load.

Harold rued the day that they had disconnected the cameras to Carter's apartment. And he cursed her for getting a new phone.

~~ Phuket 8pm~~

John Reese, tried to push down that sinking feeling in his gut, but it wouldn't go away. He'd only been here less than two days and he had to say that he liked the place; he could get use to living here permanently. He didn't receive any calls from Fusco, so he assumed everything was alright back, in New York. Twice he almost called her, just to hear her voice, but he chased that thought away quickly.

Carter had been in this position to many times and she knew that there was the possibility they would never return her son to her if she gave them the money just so. She didn't have a number to call back, but she would try sending a text, demanding proof of life. She was very close to having all of her unraveled.

~6pm~

At exactly 6pm, she received a text instructing her to drop the money off at midnight at some location in Yonkers. She hit reply on the text…

"I want proof of life that my son is alive," she hit send.

She didn't have to wait long as she received an immediate reply,

"This is not a negotiation, make sure the money is there at midnight tonight or else."

S

~~ Phuket Dec 3nd 6pm~~

John could no longer shake the feeling, so he called Fusco at the crack of dawn New York time, while the sun was rising there the sun was setting in the distance over the island Phuket."

"Good morning Lionel,"

"What do you want?'

"I just called to see how you were, haven't heard from you in a couple days."

"Yeah and I was happy I hadn't heard from you or your friend since Saturday night."

"Why did Harold call you on Saturday?"

"He wanted me to check in on Carter, she's fine last I talk to her."

"Have you spoken to her today?"

"I'm still home and I should have been sleeping."

"Sorry," he said ending the call.

John didn't need any more confirmation than that. The uneasy feeling he was feeling was getting worse, he packed his belongings and locked up the house. He didn't have time to radio the pilot; he figured he'd pay someone to get him back to the states under the radar.

~~ Dec 3rd (am)

Carter had only dropped off half the money; she didn't bother sleeping either as she awaited word from the mysterious S. She wasn't disappointed when at 6am her phone chirped once more alerting her.

"You have made a grave error Detective Carter, but I'll give you one more chance to make amends, drop the rest of the money of at the same location by midday, after which I'll text you the location of your son."

S

~~9:00am~~

Carter made a quick call to work, informing them that she was taking the day because of a family emergency. The ringing of her cell phone startled her, she looked at the screen… it was her partner.

"What Fusco?"

"Are you sick, what's wrong Carter?"

"Nothing I'm fine, just tired, can't I take another day off?"

"Yeah, sorry I, I just thought you know,"

"Thank you for your concern Lionel, but everything's fine, I'll see you at work tomorrow."

"Yeah… sure okay," He replied

John had counted the hours the first time it took to come here, it had been over 17 hours, but he paid the guy a huge sum to get him back in a lesser time, 15 hours later, he was dropped off in Manhattan at a private landing not to far away from a car rental. He rented a car and sped all the way back to Syracuse. It was just approaching after 1pm in New York.

He entered and stopped, listening to Harold argue on the phone…

"Detective Fusco I know you seem to think that I am harassing you, but as you know you're the only one who I have to call, I assure you everything is not right with Detective Carter, her number and her son's number is being thrown out every couple minutes.

"I assure you the machine isn't broken, john isn't here so you have to be thorough, I'd do it myself but I wouldn't be too competent in the situation." Harold said with controlled patience, and Reese knew that he was beyond annoyed.

"Then follow her, but something is going down… thank you that is all I am asking, I'll compensate you for your time detective." He said hanging up the phone.

When he turned around, he nearly had a heart attack when he came face to face with john leaning casually against one of the book shelves…

"Were you even going to call me and tell me Carter is in trouble?" he asked smoothly, showing no emotions of what he was feeling beneath his skin.

"Mr. Reese when did you get here, how did you get here…?'

"I asked you a question Finch." He replied not moving

"Mr. Reese you are still recovering from injuries that she caused you."

"She didn't shoot me Finch, and I was the one that ignored your warning and my own safety and went to her, I am to blame for that mistake and Snow is to blame for manipulating her, I thought we weren't going to have this discussion again?" Reese hissed his anger showing now

Carter phone rang; she thought it was Lionel calling again… "What?"

"Mom, help me…"

"Taylor, baby are you okay, did they hurt you?"

"Mom please help me, I don't want to die."

"You won't die son, I promise you – you won't, I'm coming for you." She said as the tone sounded deafening in her ear. She had been holding on strong the entire time, now that she heard his voice, she couldn't hold back the tears. She wiped away the tears as her phone sounded alerting her to a new message.

"Is that proof enough? Now you have till midnight to drop the money off at the same location and make sure you're alone. See a cop, smell a cop or a setup and you'll have his head in a box at your door. I hope you saved the wreath."

S

Carter crumpled to the floor of her apartment crying hard and praying even harder that god help her save her son. She hadn't heard the first knock at her door, but she did hear the sudden pounding on her door. She got up, trying to pull it together, she swung the door open.

Words didn't need to be spoken for him to know that her world had fallen apart. He crossed the threshold and engulfed her in his arms saying nothing as she clung to him even tighter. He led her over to the sofa and sat.

"What's wrong," he said voice smooth and even, betraying nothing of what he was feeling internally.

"Taylor's missing… someone's got him." She whispered voice so soft and small he had to strain to hear her

"How long has he been missing?"

"Since the concert Saturday night,"

"Did you speak to him at all since?" he had to ask because in cases like these children usually ended up dead in 72 hours.

"He's still alive, but – but they want the rest of the money."

"How much money…?"

"Five million,"

"Do you have it?"

She nodded.

"Where'd you get five million from joce?"

"I stole it; I'm done for good this time, when they find out what I did."

"I won't let it happen, I'll get the money back and most importantly I'll get Taylor back, I promise I won't let anything happen to him, you'll have him back before dawn tomorrow." He said standing now.

"No don't go, where are you going? You don't know where he is, you won't find him before, they'll kill him… I'll just drop the money off like they asked."

"Where do you have to drop the money off?"

"It's an abandoned public bath house, I think southeast of city hall,"

"Okay, you're going to do as they ask, drop the money off at the designated time, is your number still the same?" she shook her head no before giving him the new number… "I'll call you once I find out where he is and we'll both go get him okay, I promise you will have your son back before dawn joce."

John had called Finch and given him the information he had gotten from Carter. When he arrived at the location that Carter described, he cased the place a block in each direction, sure that no one was around, and he picked the lock and entered to lay in wait.

While he waited, he couldn't help but still be angry at Finch and himself, he'd abandoned her when she needed him and if she lost her son, he'd never be able to live with himself for letting her down so absolutely. The slight throbbing in his side and legs annoyed him, but, made him aware of his weakness at the moment. He was only 85% fit, after this he'd take a day of complete rest, he was due for a checkup soon and he didn't want to hear Meghan chastising him for not allowing his body to heal properly. Didn't they know he'd never heal fully, wounds caused by a different kind of weapon would never heal fully, all it took was one mistake and it would open wider than before to remind him, remind him of his failures and why he wasn't worthy of being loved, why he could never have a normal life.

~~ 11:50pm~~

John breathed slowly, he had been waiting for over almost nine hours, he looked once more at his watch, 9 more minutes for Joce to make the drop off… he stopped breathing when he heard footsteps coming towards the front of the main entrance hall. He pressed his back flat against the wall becoming a part of the dark room. He listened to the footsteps. Then he smelled the scent, it was a woman no doubt. He wondered if she was alone. He waited watching now as she stood near the tinted window watching out. He had to make his move now; he was on her, his hand covering her mouth, stifling her scream.

He pulled her into the darkness and quickly bounded her hands, then sat her down on the stairs bounding her feet. The tape secured over her mouth. He quickly patted her down for any weapons, he found a gun and an ear piece and a cell phone. He pulled the battery out and smashed the ear piece with the heel of his boot.

"I'm going to ask you a couple questions and I want you to answer truthfully, you tell one lie and I'll start pulling out your teeth one by one is that clear?"

She eagerly nodded, the fear evident in her eyes, he had her right where he wanted her.

"What is your name?"

"Shila," she replied

"Do you know who has Taylor Carter?"

"Yes," she said swallowing hard

"Do you know where he is at this very moment?"

"Yes," she replied squeaking

"Who has Taylor?"

"E-Elias,"

"Where is he holding him?"

"Brighton beach, um old west pier that was destroyed by the fire,"

"How many of you are there?"

"Four -myself included, the two muscles take turn on watches, while Elias is putting things into place,"

"How did you get here?"

"I drove; car is parked at the back."

"Here's the plan, first I'm going to strap this little audio explosive device to you, its real C4, and the beauty of it is that it goes unnoticeable. My cell phone is the detonator, I hit the green button you go boom." Is that understood?

Again she nodded frantically, whimpering even.

"Good, next we're going to get in your car and head back to the hideout, I'll get out a few seconds before, you'll act normal, you say anything to clue them in and I'll blow you and the money up. I don't really care for women like you, you're weak and pathetic when you involve children, but you can save yourself."

He returned with the bag of money and headed out back loading it into the car; he cut the binding of her feet, feel free to try anything stupid and we'll see if I am bluffing."

He called Jocelyn and told her to follow at a safe distance.

~~ West Pier~~

Jocelyn had to hold herself back from rushing in like a mad woman to rescue her baby, and yet she wondered how she could ever repay john for what he had taken hours to do and she couldn't have done in the days that her son was missing.

Shila approached, smile plastered on her face. She was immediately greeted by Elias,

"Love I was worried sick; I've been calling you for the longest."

"Sorry phone died and I lost my damn ear piece, I'm sorry I had you worried, but we'll get better toys now that we have the rest of the money," she said smiling so hard that her face hurt. She accepted his chaste kiss.

"Good, now let's get out of here, once we're safely away I'll text her the directions to find him."

"She took a lot from us; do you think that it's enough? We should send her a message."

"Baby I told you, I don't kill children, she can have her son back, and we may need something from her in the future."

"You're right baby, okay let's get the rest of the money and get out of here I want to go to some place far away,"

"Anywhere you wish babe," he said kissing her as they made their way carefully along the make shift bridge.

John had already rendered the two watchmen unconscious and was untying Taylor from his bindings. "Just be quiet, I'm a friend of your mother, she's outside waiting on you."

Taylor nodded in understanding.

"Now you're going to have to sit here a little longer till I have taken care of the Elias guy." John hid in the back room and waited; as Elias entered he took him in a choke hold.

"Don't fight it," he said as Elias struggled to be free and he squeezed harder. Till he stopped struggling,

"Come on in Carter," he said as he dragged Elias body out to position him near the other two unconscious men

Carter burst in and ran straight for her son, she hugged him fiercely and searched him over and over looking for any damage they may have done to him.

"Tay are you okay, did they hurt you, god I'm so sorry you had to go through this, this is all my fault, I knew I should have taken the threat more seriously, I didn't think they were after you, I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry."

"I'm good mom; I am really thank you for not giving up on me,"

"Never baby, oh god never I'd search heaven and hell for you,"

"I know mom, and your friend is super cool."

"I hope you thanked him for saving your life."

"Not yet, but I will."

John carried each man out to the car and sat them in it, hands and legs bound by the tie straps he carried in abundance, and then he retrieved the money placing it in her trunk.

Carter made sure her son was in her car safe and sound before walking back to meet john at the other car.

"Excuse me shila can I just say something?"

"I didn't want to do it, he forced me,"

"I don't think so, "Carter said shooting her in the right hand.

I hope its hurts you bitch, because you ever lay another hand on my kid, on my son and I'll kill you dead, I want you to be reminded of what you did." She said before walking back to her car.

"Detective Carter, make sure to call it in, and remember I wasn't here at all, I'll call you in a couple days detective, until then you both stay safe."

He said disappearing into the thick dark as Carter called for an ambulance and back up.

~~ 2 days l8r~~

Carter had returned the money, along with Elias and his crew. After she had explained everything to her captain, he had given her three days leave. Once again she had shown courage and bravery in this ordeal.

Later that morning Jocelyn and Taylor drove down to her mothers. She spent the first two days with them smothering her son much like her mother smothered her. She even allowed him to stay home for the rest of the week and he asked to spend the rest of the week at his g-ma's, she agreed to anything for him.

On her way home she called Fusco and asked him to get a message to his friend. When she got to her place just as darkness was setting, she didn't have to turn around to know that he was there lurking, she could smell him. She left the door open and headed straight for her kitchen. She grabbed two tumblers and poured them each a drink, she downed her first and poured herself another, he took up the glass peering into the amber liquid.

"How's Taylor?"

"He seems to be doing fine, told him he could stay the rest of the week away from school,"

"And how are you?"

"I don't know, all I know is that I feel like I have let Taylor down."

"You didn't and I don't think he thinks so either."

"John I owe you so much, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have him back."

"I told you I would always be there for you if I can… why didn't, you try to get in touch with me the moment he went missing?"

"First I am ashamed of the fact that I nearly got you kill, and I know that didn't score me any points with Mr. Finch, and Lionel was also pissed at me. And I figured it was my fault my son was taken and I had to get him back, I promised I would stay away from you for good."

"I am sorry you feel that way, but I want you to know that I personally hold no grudge against you, you don't know Snow or what he is capable of, and truthfully I should have been more careful that day, I knew meeting you was a huge risk with Snow around, but I did it anyways."

"Still doesn't make it right what I did, I should have listened to you all along."

"Only about Snow,"

"John your friend's care about you and I understood their need for me to leave you alone,"

"But they didn't have the right to be mad at you," John said. .. "I should be, there was a moment I was in the car park, but I heard you and you didn't cause me to intentionally get shot."

"And I think I may have unconsciously let myself believe Snow to get back at you." She sat down like a building had just fallen on her, head bowed, eyes closed, lips pressed hand covering her mouth briefly. "Every time I think about Kef and you never said a word, at first I'd just get angry but I'm mostly disgusted with myself. I knew I'd invited you up to my room for more than a doll. I wasn't thinking with my head,"

"Don't blame yourself joce,"

"I can't help it… you did a lot of crazy things to get me to listen to you_" Her voice became hoarse. "_A part of me knew that you had been open and honest with me, but it wasn't enough for me, for Detective Carter… I had doubts and I did my own follow up on them. I've always trusted my gut instinct to... this is the first time I didn't listen. I can't help but feel some responsibility. I nearly got you killed because I wanted to believe so bad that you weren't a good guy."

John walked to where she sat so that he was standing in front of her and closer to her. "Come here," he told her pulling her up and opening his arms to engulf her trembling frame.

She'd hesitated for a split second before falling into his arms. Her arms went around his waist and she breathed in deeply of his unique scent. He smelled like spice but it was like real old Spice that gentle blend of vanilla, oranges, and musk and a bit like nutmeg and pepper mixed a well balanced nostalgic scent that was all him. She remembered the nights in Kef she would cling to him, how much she loved being in his arms.

After bathed seconds, maybe minutes she removed her head from his chest but her hands tighten around him as did his around her. "I'm really, very sorry for hurting you," she said. Looking at him as though it was the first time in ages she had seen him and to her time only made him more handsome; she reached up and touch his face gently and she knew his turning into her gentle touch and closing his eyes was an auto reflex action.

John pulled back from her touch and reached his own strong hand and fingers to touch her face, if only she knew that the picture he had of her on his phone, didn't do her any justice. He would never have her, she'd made her decision, this was as close he'd come to ever being with her, and he wanted to punish himself for falling for her, he memorized her new features in place of the old. With sure fingers, he traced her nose, eyebrows, her prominent cheekbones and her sensual mouth and lips. He lingered on her lips for they seemed softer than he remembered.

"Joce I never thought I would see you again," their eyes connected, his blue eyes taking in her luminous brown eyes. John didn't realize to what extent he missed her until he saw her.

"When I got shot all I could think about was seeing you one more time, I know I promised that I would fight death for you- but Mark Snow is unlike death, honestly I would be dead if he didn't have his shooter just hurt me and what he would do to me if he had caught me, or ever catches me is not as merciful as death by your hands,"

"Me either," she laid her head back on his chest, inhaling his scent deeply once more enjoying being in his arms. Her heart had stumbled and lurched before starting to beat at an unusual pace and she was sure he could feel and hear it; she slowly pulled away from him, his arm loosening, free now with an inch of space between them she nervously looked away as she ran a hand through her hair.

She wouldn't know how much john instantly missed having her in his arms. Nor could she hear as john groaned inwardly, remembering the days when he chased after her. John couldn't help but imagine her splayed out on his bed, wanting and passionate.

Jocelyn felt his gaze on her burning his desire for her into her but acted as if she didn't. She had just wanted to talk and thank him while apologizing for her erroneous ways. She was slowly beginning to walk on dangerous grounds and she needed this time to collect her self from his touches and being so near him. Her heads and heart were still reeling from when he touched her lips; she wished desperately he had done so with his month rather than his fingers. She pushed away her wanton thoughts and offered him a quick albeit nervous smile before offering him another drink.