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It Wasn't Real (Special Chapter)
Kido's POV
It sure is dark here. Where the hell am I, anyways? I've been walking on...stairs? I think...I'm not really sure, because it's so dark in here. It's funny how I didn't trip over my feet yet. I'm just speculating that this is a spiral staircase since it feels like I'm walking in circular motion.
Ugh. How long is it going to be like this? I'm not exactly what you call patient. I could hear the repeated clicking of my green converse shoes.
Click, clack. Click, clack.
"Seriously," I groaned and complained, "Does the universe hate me or something? I've been walking on these stairs for over ten minutes. Am I going to end up somewhere any day now?" I heard my voice echoed. "Great. Now I'm talking to myself."
"Not exactly." I made out a familiar voice. I turned around instantaneously as a reaction. I didn't see anything. Damn it, of course...Soon after, I felt a hand. It was small, but warm. The person lightly held my fingers in the dark. "Just follow me," I heard and complied.
"Why is it so dark here?" I asked.
"Because of you, Kido."
Before I said anything else, I heard, "I'll explain everything when I find out why these stairs are endless."
I started, "Oh okay...endless?"
No way. I have been walking on endless stairs for over ten minutes! I should of just gave up sooner. Then, we both stopped walking. "There's no point in walking still, so let's just sit down and talk."
We sat down on one row and I brought my knees up. "So mind telling me why it's so dark? Where am I supposed to end up at? And why are you here?" I asked.
"The real question you need to know the answer to first is where are you," I heard the person next to me reply.
I looked around again, which was very stupid of me. It's dark, Kido. Remember that. It took me ten seconds to realize the answer to the question. I laughed and smiled sadly to myself. "Oh, I get it. This is...my dream. Correct? Because you're here, Ayano. That's the only way I can see you now. In my dreams." I said with my head touching my knees.
"Correct. You're so smart for figuring it out so quickly." I heard her say in her usual lively voice.
"I should have known from the start," I said to myself.
"Kido, you only answered half of the question," Ayano informed me."What?" I asked. She replied, "I'll tell you the other half when we find the end to these stairs."
"I thought this was an endless staircase," I said, not really understanding anymore. Heck, I didn't understand anything from the beginning. "It is, but you're the reason why these stairs are endless and why it's dark."
"What?" I asked, taken aback. "How is this my fault?" I continued. "Because you're trapped in this dream," she answered. I swear I'm getting more and more confused every time she responds to my questions.
"Hey Kido, how's school?" she asked curiously.
"It's...good."
"Really? I'm so glad." she said, sounding grateful. "I thought that you would have trouble at school, ever since the accident. I'm so glad it didn't affect your school life."
"Umm...yeah, but that's because of Kano. I didn't want to go to high school after the accident before. But whenever I'm around him, it's fun I guess. I'm still not exactly sure why I've taken a liking to that idiot's presence.
"Shuuya, huh," Ayano said his first name. "Hey, how do you two know each other?" I asked. Kano didn't really explain much to me. But then again, I didn't tell him anything about my connection to Ayano. "I think Shuuya should be the one to tell you that." I sighed, disappointed that I didn't get an answer. There was a brief moment of silence.
"Ayano...I," I started. "It's all my fault that you lost your memories and that my parents died, right? I wish I could go back in time to change it. I'm sorry.. Because of me..." My voice trailed off.
"I'm here right now to help you, Kido. Since the current me can't. I don't know what it will take for you to finally understand that it's not your fault, but it's not healthy to keep these negative feelings to yourself. Take it as an example from Kano and me. Remember, it was a car accident. There was nothing you could do about it." Ayano attempted to appease me.
"I wish I could say it wasn't my fault, but that's the thing. It is my fault, Ayano!" I exclaimed. "Because I was sick that day, you had to take care of me. You could have been safe at home. My parents would have stayed and taken care of me. My sister would still be here with me..." I said, letting everything out. Tears were streaking down my face. I'm not as strong as I wanted to be, huh?
I continued, "I've never felt so alone after that accident! Why did you...Why did you guys all leave me behind? Why couldn't I be there, too? That way, I wouldn't be in so much pain right now. That way, I didn't have to bear the pain of being alone! I wouldn't have gone to high school unwillingly without you. Why, Ayano? Please tell me! Why the hell is this world really unfair?!"
My body was trembling and I was breathing heavily after saying that.
"Damn it...Damn it. Damn it!"
"It's dark here, because of your negative feelings you have from that day. You think it's your fault." Ayano told me and paused for a second.
"I know you will understand one day. I'm sorry that I'm so useless and I can't help you go through this. I hope Shuuya will help you understand." Ayano said in a placid tone. Suddenly, I felt her embrace. I immediately hugged her back as if my life was in her hands. I felt the same warm feeling and I also felt...weightless. I wanted to stay like this with her...forever. A few seconds later I saw the darkness surrounding us slowly disappearing.
I finally got to see Ayano's face. She was smiling and wiping away the tears in her eyes. I saw that we were sitting on a white spiral case. We broke from the hug and stood up.
"Wow. The darkness is finally gone. This darkness was surrounding your heart, Kido. You kept so many negative emotions from that accident inside you. One you had let them out, the darkness around you disappeared."
She stretched her arms out. "Now all I have to do is lead you to your final destination. But then again, these stairs are endless..." Ayano pointed out."So why are these stairs endless?" I asked, composed from what had happened. She ignored my question. "Kido, tell me why did you go to high school on the first day even though you didn't want to." Ayano asked me directly.
I gulped and answered, "Because I wanted to know what it would have been like if we went together if the accident never happened before I..." I stopped myself from finishing the sentence. "So that's why I went...Then, I realized I didn't want to go to school without you, Ayano. I didn't want to live in a world where you didn't remember me."
"Kido these stairs are endless, because you're stuck in the past. No...more like trapped." My eyes widened and I held back a gasp. "No wonder they're endless. These stairs are supposed to lead you back to reality and the present. I don't know how to help you move on, because that's something only you can do for yourself." Ayano said wondering with a finger under her chin. "Hmm...I wonder if it'd be best if you just completely forgot about me," she said sadly. I inhaled sharply after hearing that.
"No! Absolutely not." I shouted immediately. "But you're in so much pain, Kido. And not just you...Shuuya and Kousuke are, too. Doesn't it hurt remembering me when I don't remember you? What if we meet and I'll have no clue who you guys are?" she explained.
"But still...If we meet, t-then I'll just have to be friends with you all over again. " I said.
"Are you sure? Are you willing to become friends with me all over again? Are you willing to move on a little? What about our previous friendship?" Ayano asked, in shock. I nodded, not looking at her gaze, though. Then I said, "I don't want to forget about you or our previous friendship."
"Well let's go up to see if we can bring you back to reality," she said. Then, she offered me her hand. I took it and walked with her reluctantly. After a few minutes of walking we ended up going to this room. It was an aberration. From my point of view, it looked as if we were in the inside of a clock. There were countless moving gears, springs, and levers everywhere. "This is my destination?" I asked, wearing a puzzled expression.
"No, but I wanted to show you this. This is the answer to the other half of the question. We're in the inside of a clock, right? Time never stops. Even now, it's continuing when you're sleeping. But when you're sleeping and dreaming, your brain rewinds time in your dreams. You said you would go back in time to change the accident. You were reliving that accident in your dreams?" Ayano asked. I hesitantly nodded.
"I get nightmares of what happened that night most of the times. Except different things happen sometimes." I explained. "I try to save my parents and stop you guys from going into that car. But no matter what happened...No matter how hard I tried, you guys wouldn't listen to me calling out to you guys, damn it." Ayano stared at me with sympathy.
"I used to think that I could escape reality in my dreams. I guessed that backfired, huh?" I said to myself this time. Music will always stay by my side, I thought to myself. I felt Ayano grip my hand harder.
"The stairs led you to here and soon you'll return to the present and reality. My job here was to lead you to that door." Ayano said and pointing at a wooden door at the same time.
Our hands slowly separated and I walked nervously to the door. Then, I turned around."Can't I just stay here? I have no one to go to in the real world. I lost my parents, my sister, and you. Can I please just stay here with you?" I asked with a hopeful expression.
Ayano smiled sadly and shook her head. "This is only a dream, Kido. Staying here won't bring you any closer to the "real me" out there. You have to find her. I'm sure she'd like to meet you again. And who said you had no one to go to in the real world. It's not like I'm dead. And what about the good friends you've made at school? What about Shuuya and Kousuke? Even though you don't know it, you're precious to someone. Everyone is."
I sighed. She's right and I knew it. I stepped closer to the door with more confidence after she reassured me.
Click, clack. Click, clack.
My hand was on the golden knob. I turned it and glanced at Ayano for one last time before turning around. "Oi, Ayano." I said. "Yes?" she asked politely. "Can you say my first name?" I requested. She laughed and said, "I thought you said, 'Only my family can call me by my first name,' that day I asked if I could." I felt my lips curved up slightly at that memory. "You'll always be my best friend, but I've always considered you as a sister." I twisted the knob, opened the door, and walked away.
"Goodbye, Ayano." Then, I said jokingly, "Try not to lose your memories again when we meet."
"Mhmm. Goodbye, Tsubomi."
Darkness. I see the darkness disappearing? I see...my ceiling? My eyes felt heavy and I opened them wide after a few seconds. I was lying on my bed, reminiscing about the dream. I remember seeing the darkness, the endless stairs, the inside of a clock, and...Ayano.
Drip, drip. Drip, drip.
"Eh? I've been crying a lot lately." I muttered, as I wiped away the tears with my sleeve, trying to act strong.
This is the harsh truth of dreams. The dream of Ayano...It wasn't real.
A/N: Sorry for not updating for over a month. I was stressing out pretty bad near the end of my school year, but I graduated middle school last week! Woot, Woot! I'm studying Geometry and SAT now (Oh dear lord). So technically it'll still be like school for me except at home. :/
Anyways, thanks for not giving up on this story guys. I hope I don't give up on it...This was a special chapter, because we have Ayano appearing in Kido's dream to encourage her. I don't know if this can actually happen in dreams, but then again anything can happen in your dreams. Kano will be in the next chapter hopefully if I post it.
I kind of stole the "inside of the clock" theme from the anime scenes. I don't know. It looked interesting.
I want to thank ten people who reviewed my latest chapter, while I didn't update. 10 is my highest record of reviews per chapter. I'm so lame for keeping track.
Edelwin: No problem. Thanks for drawing that baseball picture again. I think I put it as my favorite on DeviantArt. It's weird that I have an account, but I don't use it at all.
PokeRyu
meda (Guest): LOL
quesogirl (Guest): LOL
Roxi-chan (Guest): Thanks for reviewing again.
Amy Peterson (Guest): Thanks for loving this story.
idk (Guest): Thank you. I'm glad you like this.
Nana-sann
Your no. 1 fan (Guest): Hey you actually inspired me to finally update, so thanks! Sorry to hear about your friends. I want friends like them too. Yeah it wasn't originally going to be a complicated story, but before I knew it, I made it complicated haha. I'm so happy you like the story. When I saw your name, I had the goofiest smile on my face.
Yumi Nanaho (Guest): Awww. Thanks for loving mine the most. You're making me feel special.
I like how most of my reviews are from guests! So thank you, guests. c:
Okay, I think I'm done. Goodbye! c:
P.S.
I lied. I'm not done. If you do see anything wrong with my writing, please inform me. Please save me from the embarrassment of posting a chapter full of many errors and not fixing them. If you have suggestions, feel free to tell me. What did you guys think of this chapter?