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Six Months Later
Jace sipped steaming tea from the mug the same shade of Clary's eyes and idly watched the light change from almost black to a light, clear blue. Alec wasn't even up yet, but he felt too tense to do anything but watch the day he had been dreading approach inevitably. A pen found its way to his hand and he began tracing restless patterns over the countertop. His fingers itched for the distraction of piano keys slipping beneath his hands but he couldn't even afford a crappy electronic keyboard with the all his money going towards his half of the rent.
Putting the pen to use, he scrawled the things he needed to get done before going to see Clary. Pick up his shirt from the laundry, go grocery shopping… he sighed. It was going to be a long day.
It had shifted from pleasantly warm to muggy by the time he turned up at Clary's mother's house to 'help' the afternoon of the rehearsal dinner. Jocelyn had lived in Connecticut for years, so it was the obvious choice for Clary to attend college nearby, the overprotective mother never wanting her daughter too far from her. Naturally Jace had followed, but unfortunately, so had Sebastian.
Jace watched in mild amusement as she sat impatiently getting her hair done. White flowers were scattered throughout the fiery red, making both colours appear even brighter.
His breath stuttered as he caught sight of her golden dress that brushed the floor and left her arms bare. Her hair fell down her back and framed her face, and her lips were painted to match it. The colours should have jarred, fighting for attention, he thought. All gold, red and green, but they only served to make her brighter.
Jocelyn pushed the last pins into place and let Clary up with a sigh, shooing away her apologies. "Go! Finish getting ready or I'll call Sebastian to help."
Jace felt a tiny stab of hurt, the latest of hundreds over the past few months. "That's a terrible threat, Mrs. Fray. I'm sure she'd love that."
The girl in question laughed and dug an elbow into his ribs. "Come on, I'll show you the venue and run you through the evening. That way you'll be all ready to give your toast."
Clary insisted he give a speech, and grudgingly, he acquiesced. It sat heavily in his pocket, waiting to be read with a smile pasted uncomfortably to his face. He was fairly good at his face without emotion, but everyone would expect animation. Happiness.
That was an emotion he would not be able to summon without the numerous alcoholic beverages helping him out.
He tuned out the rest of her chatter and watched her as she gestured animatedly. The dress flowed and slipped around her curves, making his mouth dry. He murmured responses at appropriate points, never expected to give more than a simple answer. Finally, she slipped away with the promise of catching up with him later.
It was a nice place really; a garden with tables set up for the guests to have dinner and watch the stars come out. Fires in little pots were started around the place and emanated pulsing heat. He felt frozen with unreasonable hurt, the blood in his veins turned to ice. Drink after drink was poured down his throat until he could feel the muddling of thoughts. The ice thawed a little, and then completely as he caught sight Clary's luminous face, lit with the cheery glow of the fire and happiness, Jace thought, as she laughed. Brief greetings were exchanged with old school friends and Clary's family, but no one tried for further conversation, a small mercy.
Bleary and a little unsteady, Jace stood at Clary's smile. He looked out across the snowy, circular tables and the arrangements of flowers and the stars above them that spun a little and exhaled slowly. As soon as he opened his mouth, he caught sight of Alec's worried gaze. He'd felt it all night, wondering when his brother would stop being such a worrywart.
Pulling the sheets of paper out of his pocket, he unfolded them.
-pick up shirt
-eggs
It was the hastily scribbled note to himself.
The speech was still sitting at home on the counter evidently, and now he had nothing but the to-do list in his hand with over a hundred people staring at him expectantly.
"I would like to say-" He started. "I would like to say that-" He tried again.
Words were not his friends.
Everything he was planning on saying was swimming around in his head, not staying still long enough for him to grasp. He feebly attempted to catch at the words. A moment or two later, he gave up. "I'll tell you what I'd really like to say, since I can't quite remember my speech."
Distantly he noticed Alec stood up and starting making his way discreetly around the tables towards Jace. "The thing is," he said, ignoring his brother. "I've been dreading this day for months. In fact, ever since Clary told me she was getting married, I was thinking of ways I could get out of being in this position."
Nervous laughter sounded from the guests.
"Really," he insisted. "I even thought about telling the truth. The truth that I haven't told for what- six years? But then- then I realized I couldn't do that to my best friend."
He looked around once more and no faces were could compete with Clary's. It was inscrutable, but her fingers were white around her knife and fork.
"And I suppose you all know this, but she's more than a best friend. She is an unattainable picture of the girl I have always wanted but could never have. She's funny, and down-to-earth, and I wouldn't be able to live without her. Clary, I thought that I couldn't love you any more than I did the first day I saw you. But I was wrong. I was wrong." Jace was only slightly aware that he was slurring some of his words. He wondered briefly why Alec was taking so long to stop him.
"I love you without measure. I wish they could bottle all of it and put it towards something useful, because the amount I have loved you over the years would make a hell of a lot of electricity." Realizing too late how stupid that sounded, he ploughed onwards determinedly. "And you." He said, pointing at Sebastian. "You don't love her enough to make a light bulb flicker. You couldn't. I've seen the way you look at her."
Sebastian went to his feet as Alec snuck up behind Jace and put a firm hand upon his shoulder.
"You need to leave." Sebastian commanded, dark eyes bottomless in the shadowy light of the fires.
"Shouldn't Clary decide who stays or goes? It's not just your wedding we're rehearsing for." Jace challenged.
Alec pulled his arm harshly. "We're leaving."
He stumbled, hurt and tired. The last thing he saw as his brother led him away was Clary's pale face, floating in the darkness.
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