"What the hell, Evan?" Luke half-screamed at him over the line. "Really, I bring Nate –"
"Delirious." Evan interjected, annoyed.
"Fine, Delirious." Luke's voice became soft, almost inaudible as he said the name, and he paused for a moment before continuing in a near-whisper, "I bring him and that's how you treat him? Where's the warm welcome for your friend? Moreover, where's the warm welcome for Delirious?"
"I don't see why you have to cover for him and let him be Delirious. It's not as if he's revealing his face to the whole wide world, is he? It's just me and Sarah. Doesn't he at the very least trust me?" Evan seethed, the anger beginning to pound through his veins again.
"He has a right to not trust you. He's smarter than you think, you know. He sees the possibilities that you probably don't, and I think it'd be damn nice if you respected his reasons, too."
Evan sighed, but no relief from frustration or anger came from it. "I feel lied to, Luke."
"And he's suffering. He hasn't said anythin' about it, but he's been so worried. Worried that you wouldn't like him, that you wouldn't want him around. Worried that you would act somethin' like the way you did."
A long pause followed his words. Evan swallowed, speechless. On the other end of the line, however, soft whispering ensued.
"Luke?" Evan called out, his anger only dissipating slightly. "What's going on?"
A different voice, however, answered him. "Hi, Evan."
Evan paused, his voice caught in his throat. The voice sounded uncertain, almost sad, as though the voice was confessing his biggest sins to him. A slight, dull ache tugged away at Evan's chest, unwilling to budge.
"Oh, uh- Hi… Nate."
The voice on the line let out a soft, pitiful sigh, before he continued –
"Jonathan."
"Jonathan." Evan repeated.
"Oh, God… I'm so scared, Evan." Jonathan whispered, his voice breaking.
"Jonathan." Evan repeated once more, a small, coy smile beginning to play on his lips.
"Evan…" Jonathan whimpered again, this time softer than before.
"Jonathan…" Evan repeated one final time, unable to contain his smile anymore. "God, it still feels weird to call you by your real name." He chuckled.
Jonathan breathed softly and slowly, a soft laugh beginning to erupt from the depths of his chest. He's not mad anymore, he thought. Relief spread throughout every inch of his formerly tense body, and he gently closed his eyes.
"Then say it a couple more times," He teased in a low voice.
"Shut up," Evan replied. "Look, dude, I'm really sorry I acted like a dick."
"And I'm sorry I lied and pretended to be who I wasn't."
"So we're both sorry. Now we're even." Evan responded. "Damn it, dude, I can't stay mad at you long, do you know that?"
"I'm adorable," Jonathan giggled.
Evan paused for a second, before retorting, "Yeah, like a big baby. Where's Luke?"
"Probably making out with what used to be my bed. I told him to give me the phone. I needed to explain myself. Badly. I was so afraid you were gonna stay mad at me, I couldn't help it any longer." Jonathan explained. "Look – the reason why I didn't want you to know who I am… it's because I'm so scared, Evan… I don't know how you'll like me… but even more than that, I don't know how many people will look at you, me and Luke and piece it all together."
"You don't trust me, then."
"No, no- no! That's not it," Jonathan bit his lip. "I- I just don't trust your popularity."
"Then, you big dumb baby," Evan replied, almost laughing, "you'll have to remember that I'm not that famous. Even if I am that famous, you're not the only friend that I have that I can hang out with. Not everybody's mind is going to jump to you, even if Luke is around. To everyone else, you could be anyone."
"And if they do? I'd be busted."
"You're already busted. H2O Delirious already did a face reveal on Halloween, no?"
Jonathan giggled, his chest rising and falling in the warmth of the joy. His heart was making little leaps at every sound that Evan made over the phone, yet – there was an alarm going off silently in his head, flashing a panic-filled red every once in a while.
"Uh, look, I wanted to ask if you guys wanted to join me and Sarah out on the beach later this week. It'll be nice and fun, and you'll finally get to see some California sun… and get a damn tan," Evan rambled.
"I barely ever get tans, dude. I go red all over but I never come out with a tan."
"Then I'll make you get a tan. You look like a fucking vampire, dude, minus the lack of sleep thing. No, actually… you just look like a fucking vampire, you barely even sleep."
"Shut up," Jonathan snapped playfully. "You're the night owl."
A hearty laugh bubbled from the other end of the line. "Go sleep, Jonathan. It's been a long day for you. Tell Luke we're going to the beach soon and I'll give him another call the day before."
"What if – what if I'm not tired, yet?" Jonathan asked, stifling a yawn mid-sentence.
Another warm, hearty laugh. "Go to bed, Jonathan. Sleep tight."
The line went silent.
Sleep tight, he said. Jonathan smiled, ignoring the silent alarms in his head and shut his eyes tight, embracing an oddly warm darkness for the first time in forever.
As the day for the beach outing rolled around, Jonathan's mind was caught in a whirl. He had never worried too much about his attire or his dressing before, but he was caught in a dilemma. What on earth do I wear?
He rummaged through his luggage that was now haphazardly placed right by the sliding door. All throughout were shades of blue and white, and as he flipped through countless jeans, capris, shirts and hoodies, a realization dawned upon him that none of clothes seemed like practical, let alone fashionable beach wear. The hoodies were definitely too thick, and he had nothing suitable for any activity near or even in the sea.
He stood up, uncertain, and pulled open the sliding door. Luke lay spread-eagle on the bed, his mouth slightly open, revealing a set of pearly-whites that were nearly perfect, if not for the presence of a miniature, baby-like tooth.
"Luke?" Jonathan started, louder than usual. He watched as Luke twitched slightly, only to fall back into a deep slumber. Shaking his head slightly, he called out again –
"Luke!"
A small snore began to form on Luke's lips. Annoyed, Jonathan aimed a kick directly at the foot of the bed and yelled at the top of his lungs – "LUUUUUUUKE!"
Luke instantly sat straight up, completely and evidently dazed, as though his soul had left his body. He blinked, once, twice, thrice, and as his spirits began to return, he growled darkly, "What d'you want?"
"Something to wear to the beach."
"Just wear one of your T-shirts," Luke grumbled, frowning as he collapsed back onto the bed.
"No, I meant – just in case we're going to end up in the sea – I don't have anything for that."
"You're not goin' surfing, pal.
"I'm not saying that I will. I just don't have anything that I can wear safely into water and not ruin it."
Luke opened his eyes and stared at him straight in the face, frowning. "What's up with you today? First big date with Evan?"
"Shut it. Do you have something or no?" Jonathan bit back, a light blush forming on his pale cheeks.
"Nope. Go shirtless or somethin'." Luke answered grouchily, and pulled the comforter over his head.
Jonathan simply stared at the form under the covers, a mild fire burning in his eyes.
"The couch ain't gonna make you sleep any better, the bed is, and you need it more than I do," He mimicked.
"The bed's hella comfy!" Luke nearly yelled from underneath the comforter.
"Yeah, whatever, broken promises," Jonathan rolled his eyes and sidled out from the room. What the hell am I going to wear?
Hours later, Luke dragged Jonathan out of the rental apartment, with Jonathan decked out in a thin sky-blue shirt and a pair of capri pants. In an authoritative tone, Luke began to instruct Jonathan very carefully on the dos and don'ts of the day –
"The sun's pretty damn strong today, so make sure you're always drowning in sunscreen. And don't you dare try to waddle into the water, 'cos I ain't gonna help you salvage this shirt."
Jonathan pouted and said in a small voice, "I didn't want to wear this one for a reason."
"It's your best bet if you don't wanna turn into a lobster and not overheat at the same time, so shut up and suck it up."
Jonathan scowled and made a face at Luke, just as a shiny black car drove up to them in the driveway.
"Get in, ladies," Evan called out smoothly, lowering his aviator sunglasses in a charming invitation. Sarah's soft giggle sounded from behind him, and he beamed at the two men, his smile wide, white and perfect. Jonathan felt his heart flip and skip a few beats, before setting off into a fast race.
"C'mon," Luke pushed, and the two settled themselves into the cool air-conditioned car.
"So," Sarah turned to face Jonathan, "Nate- "
"Jonathan," he sighed.
"Oh, good, it's Jonathan now? I didn't like 'Nate'". Sarah flashed a toothy grin. "So, Jonathan, how good are you at beach volleyball?"
"Terrible. Luke might have more in him."
"Aww, give it a try at least? Evan can guide you and everything."
"It's alright, really. I don't want to ruin your game. I'll probably – uh – make sandcastles near the sea, or something."
From the corners of his eyes, he saw Luke glare at him sharply.
"Whatever you say, sweet pea." Sarah grinned wider. "You'll be playing, right, Luke?"
"Sure thing."
She turned back, looking ahead of her. "It's been some time since we had good company like that. Evan's usually so busy playing, I wondered when I'd get to see the sun again."
"You make it sound like I don't treat you well." Evan responded with a pout as he turned towards Sarah momentarily, and he quickly returned his eyes to the road.
"You treat me the best." She quipped, and reached over to gently kiss him on the cheek.
A surge of dull pain shot through Jonathan's heart in the moment, and the dull, throbbing hurt was soon replaced by guilt. I shouldn't feel like this, he mused, and began to force his lips into a smile. I'm happy for them, aren't I? He's happy and she's happy. I'm happy.
He turned his head, attempting to distract himself with the sights and views of Los Angeles as the car whizzed past various buildings, creating a whirl of colors before his eyes. As the sunlight hit various metallic objects and cars, the scene before him sparkled, as though he was watching a rainbow-colored night sky with stars glimmering and glittering away. The sight was mesmerizing, yet, however, calmed him very little.
The buildings slowly vanished and the view ahead had a warm, yellowish tint about it. Trees became increasingly populous, and soon a line of blue appeared ahead of them. The sea sparkled in the distance, a perfect blue against the off-white sand.
Evan pulled over, making the proper adjustments to the vehicle before he turned the engine off and pulled the key out of the ignition. "We're here," he announced.
The four stepped out of the cool of the car and into the outdoor warmth. The sun blazed in the cloudless sky, illuminating their faces. Sarah's expression was immensely bright, as was her smile. After she adjusted her halter top, she broke out in a sprint towards a high, white net in the distance excitedly. "Hurry up and let's get started!"
Evan watched as she stepped into the blazing sunlight, her lightly tanned skin shimmering. As she ran, he watched as her light brown hair swayed in the wind, with a slightly forlorn sense coming about it. "Evan!" She yelled, her laughter loud and clear despite the distance. Smiling, he pulled off his top, carefully avoiding his sunglasses, and gestured for Jonathan and Luke to follow.
As they approached the net, Sarah pulled a volleyball from nowhere and threw it straight at Evan. Catching it, he frowned and called out, "Am I supposed to start?"
"It's not fair if you're asking me to start."
Evan sighed, and turned towards the two men behind him, only to find that they were having an exchange of their own in low voices a small distance away. He approached them, listening carefully –
"You are not gonna go into the sea with that shirt on. You are not gonna even go close -"
"What do you expect me to do, Luke? It's either ruin it or risk –"
"Um, take your shirt off then?" Evan piped up, feeling his cheeks slowly burn away as he did. "No shirts ruined that way."
It was Jonathan's turn to blush. "I – uh – I burn quite easily… so… it's easier if I don't. I'll turn into Nogla if I stay out there too long shirtless." Jonathan laughed uncomfortably.
"Better than having the sun roast you a little than having Luke skin you," Evan glanced at Luke, who shot back a deadly stare. Sorry, he mouthed. "If it makes you feel better, I'll help with the sunscreen."
He watched as Jonathan began to stammer, his face turning a bright beet red. "I – I – I'll do it myself, uh –"
Jonathan shot a pleading glance at Luke. Almost on cue, Luke's expression changed, and he spoke over Jonathan –
"Thanks Evan, but I'll help him get his back."
Evan gazed after the duo as they shuffled to a spot under a tree nearby the net, his eyes never leaving Jonathan's back, even as he slowly began to walk back towards Sarah. He watched as Jonathan gingerly pulled the sky blue top off his body, revealing a pale, well-defined torso. His eyes followed as the shirt left his the mass of dark hair on Jonathan's head, and he could have sworn for a moment right before Jonathan turned away, obstructing his view, that he saw a deep red blush spread across his cheeks.
"Wow," Sarah breathed, appearing by Evan's side. "So that's what we haven't been seeing."
A series of tattoos ran down from behind Jonathan's neck, curving down his right shoulder blade and creeping its way down to his right arm, ending right where his sleeves concealed it. Black geometric patterns were conceivable from the dark mass, each pattern forming a small picture, undiscernible in the distance.
"Hurry up with the sweet tattoos, Luke," Sarah called out. "We're about to start!"
Luke nodded absentmindedly, as he squirted out a stream of white sunscreen onto his palm from a small tube and passed the tube over to Jonathan. As he ran his hands across Jonathan's back, an odd, incomprehensible desire arose within Evan, setting off a muted flame in his chest. It was as though he was barely conscious when Sarah grabbed his arm and decided to start a game with him first, unable to wait for Luke to finish.
"Aw, come on, sweetie," Sarah groaned as he failed to return the ball for the umpteenth time. "I know it's been some time since you played, but you're doing far worse than before."
"Big guy ain't good enough for you?" Luke teased, patting Evan's shoulder as he approached.
"He's awful." She pouted. "The last time he was so out of it was when he first played."
"Should I play against you then? Then he can go and take a nice rest. And build some sandcastles," Luke said, playfully emphasizing on the final word. Evan flipped him the bird and stepped away from the white net, biting his lip. His eyes slowly scanned the area for the only other person he could spend some time with – Jonathan.
The man in question was kneeling near the waters, utilizing a small, misshaped cup in his building efforts. He grabbed a small handful of wet sand and gently packed it into the cup, and gently dumped it back onto the ground, forming a malformed cylinder that soon collapsed back onto the ground, joining a family of little collapsed sand towers around him.
Evan walked slowly over to Jonathan, and knelt down in front of him. As he did, Jonathan's eyes sauntered up his legs and up his torso, meeting Evan's eyes with an uncertain embarrassment.
"You're not playing anymore?" Jonathan asked, his fingers tracing away at the sand beneath him thoughtlessly.
"I got kicked out. Sucked really hard today."
A small giggle formed on Jonathan's lips, and just as he looked as though he would speak, he closed his mouth and smiled to himself.
"Fuck you." Evan retorted to the unspoken comment, as Jonathan barely held back another wave of giggles.
"You look like you're being surrounded by a bunch of collapsed castles." Evan continued.
Jonathan looked around him sadly. "I thought wet sand was good to work with, but it kept sticking to the cup."
"So use dry sand."
"Dry sand collapses even easier."
Evan smirked. "You know your sandcastles well, huh?"
"I've been building them since I was a kid. Always would get shoved aside because the big kids thought I was too small or too frail to play with them."
"You're not small and frail now." Evan murmured softly, his eyes fixated on the deep blue eyes of the man before him. The effect was almost instantaneous – Jonathan averted his eyes and gazed down on the sand, a blush beginning to burn on his face once again. As Evan watched Jonathan become increasingly flustered, it was almost as though a door had been opened in his chest, releasing something that had been caged up for far too long. He liked it.
"I'm not, I know that…But I'm just doing what I know. It's a lot easier, that way."
"Let's try this." Evan said quickly, and gathered up a handful of wet sand on the ground in a pile. Gently, he began molding the sand as he would with wet clay, and formed a miniature sand plateau in front of Jonathan. "That works, right?"
Jonathan nodded, his dark hair gently swaying with the movement. He grabbed a handful of sand and gently placed it atop Evan's plateau, and slowly molded it into another misshaped cylinder. Evan began to laugh –
"What is wrong with you? Even without the cup, you're forming terrible towers."
"It's not – I can't –" Jonathan stammered.
It was then that Evan noticed that his hands were trembling ever so slightly, with each effort to mold the sand into shape thwarted by a tremor caused by Jonathan's shaking hands. He frowned, and reached out to cup Jonathan's hands with his.
"What on earth is the matter with you? You're panicking over nothing. Look," Evan began to gently guide Jonathan's hands over the sand, easing his still-shaking fingers over the coarse grains with finesse. Under their hands, the cylindrical shape began to shift into form.
"Et voilà." Evan murmured under his breath, his hands still gently holding onto Jonathan's. He enjoyed the momentary warmth of Jonathan's thin fingers pressed against his palm, and relished the small electric sparks that seemed to go off at every point of contact in their hands.
"Evan…" Jonathan whispered, his voice almost inaudible as Sarah's voice soon reached both their ears –
"Evan!"
Evan quickly released Jonathan's hands from his grasp and turned. "What?!" He called back, his voice tinged with a slight annoyance.
"We've found someone to play doubles with! Come back!"
Evan sighed softly and stood up almost reluctantly, and began walking back towards the net where Sarah, Luke, and a dark-skinned stranger stood. As he drew closer to Sarah, she greeted him with a warm smile and a flurry of encouraging words barely audible in the distance.
Jonathan stared after him, mentally willing his heart to slow down. Tearing his eyes away from Evan, he tried to focus on the half-finished sandcastle, gently forming another cylinder beside the first. His mind, however, kept wandering as he thought about the formation of the first tower, and finally, Jonathan stood, thoroughly exasperated with himself.
He wandered closer towards the waters, and gently dipped a foot into the seawater, as he felt a wave of soft foamy water splash against the other. An urge to wander deeper rolled over him, and he trudged heavily into the deeper waters, allowing the cool, clear water to wash against his body. He was soon swimming about in the sea, deriving an odd sense of freedom from the way he floated about in the water. It was a sense of liberation, one that calmed him and sent all of his nervous thoughts into a small corner of his mind. One with the water, he thought.
Jonathan swam about in the sea, unsure of how much time he had spent, or if the sunscreen on his face and on his body was still in effect. All he knew was that his skin, particularly on his face and on his arms and back, was beginning to really sting and hurt – even more so with the salt water thrashing against him. He waded hurriedly out of the sea, and took a long, careful look at his arms.
His arms seemed as though they were painted over in dull red paint. Shit, he thought. He was burning, and he needed badly to hide it – especially from Luke.
Jonathan decided to make a beeline for the showering area, and he quickly hurried past the volleyball players, grabbing his shirt and a small survival kit Luke had brought with him with him as he passed the tree. His skin was beginning to itch as the salt water dried, and he needed to rinse his body as soon as he could. He scanned the area quickly, and found a small showering area a small distance away from the net.
He settled the belongings down in a dry area, and hurriedly twisted a knob, sending a shower of cold, fresh water down upon his head. He lingered, allowing the water to wash away the saltiness on his skin. Soon, he was soaked, but clean for the most part. The next problem, he thought, is the burn. What the hell am I going to do about it?
He dried off with a small towel packed into the survival kit, patting gently away at the redder and more sensitive areas of his skin. Determining that there was nothing to do about his now-soaked, sagging pants, he simply tried to squeeze out whatever water he could from the hem. Rummaging through the small bag, he found a tube of aloe packed in. He thinks of everything. Jonathan quickly uncapped the tube and squirted a healthy amount of aloe onto his palm, and gingerly began to apply it over his face and his arms.
"Are you alright?" A voice softly called out from behind him. Jonathan jumped slightly, and turned to see Evan looking straight at him, a look of concern flashing in his deep brown eyes.
"S- Sort of," Jonathan choked out after a pause.
"I doubt so," Evan replied. "I could've sworn I saw a lobster sneak away into the showers. What happened to the sunscreen?"
"Must've washed away in the sea." Jonathan looked away, and tried to focus on applying the aloe to his exposed skin.
"Let me help you," Evan breathed as he settled himself beside Jonathan, and held out his hand. Reluctantly, Jonathan passed him the tube of aloe. He watched as Evan squeezed out a generous amount of aloe and gently urged him to turn around. Jonathan turned, his heart hammering away in his chest.
He felt as Evan placed his palms against his back, and he shivered as the cool gel was spread all over his burning back. As he felt the coolness spread over his right shoulder, he heard Evan emit a small, low hum.
"What?" Jonathan asked.
"That's an interesting tattoo." Evan replied brusquely. "I don't understand the patterns though."
"It's… something someone introduced to me before. They're bits of me all entwined together into one big picture. My 'energy', apparently."
"Hmm." Evan hummed softly once more. "Unusual, but fitting, I guess."
Jonathan, however, was barely listening. His mind was clouded over by a soft voice tingling in his memories –
"This right here," Nick softly whispered as he traced his fingers over the picture, "is you."
"I'm not a bunch of lines that look vaguely like… some animal."
"It's not an animal. It's a little bit of everything that's you. This right here…what does it look like?"
"Uh… eyes…?"
"Yours."
"Jonathan." Evan's voice broke into his thoughts. "What are these?"
He felt as Evan's fingers traced down to his lower back, to an area that sent him reflexively turning around, leaving his back away from Evan.
"It's nothing," Jonathan mutter quickly. "I'm fine now, so – go back and play with them, or somethin' –"
Evan frowned. "That doesn't look normal, Jonathan. What happened to you?"
"I'm fine! Now go!" Jonathan stood up and pushed at Evan, urging him to move. Finally, Evan commanded his reluctant legs to walk away from the showering area. As he left, he called out to Jonathan one final time –
"Show Luke you got sunburned, or I'm telling him. Get a dry pair of pants that aren't sagging like they are now and don't take too long."
Evan walked slowly, his mind, his chest and his legs all heavy. He had seen countless injuries and scars in his life, most of them sports injuries – and he knew exactly what the marks on the lower portion of Jonathan's back were. He had traced his fingers over the dark, circular marks that lay just slightly below his waistline, hidden by the capris before, and felt the tenderness and the tightness of the skin. He had seen the same sort of injury, albeit a fresh one, before. Red circles with an almost white patch in the middle that healed over time into dark patches.
Somewhere, sometime in Jonathan's life, someone had held him down and sadistically pressed cigarettes into his lower back.
Chapter 4 came tumbling out faster than I thought it would. Ah, well! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'll start on Chapter 5 soon!