The Halo Universe belongs to Microsoft Studios and 343 Industries. But these characters are my own creation and cannot be used without my permission. If you do use them without my permission, then Atar will find you and blow up your family. Enjoy the show.

The Sangheili 800 Squad

Chapter 1: The NVP Tour

February, 2550 (Human Calender)

1131 hours

SSMB 800

"So…" Utarz said, trying to break the silence. "When's the rookie getting here?"

"Give it a few more minutes." Miara said.

"Ooooooooooooooo, I can't stand the suspense!" Repora said gleefully. "What will the new guy be like?"

POOF

"Maybe he'll be the intellectual sort." Heaven suggested. "The Forerunners know we could use someone like that."

POOF

"Maybe he'll like chaos and death!" Hell giggled. "We need more of those people, we don't have enough!"

"Actually," Heaven countered. "Repora counts as ten Sangheili in that regard, so we do have enough of those people."

"Ah, fuck you Heaven."

"Well, screw you Hell."

"Hey, what"

"Oi!" Repora snapped. "Stop arguing you two! I didn't raise you like this!"

Utarz and Miara looked at Repora strangely. Tracer and Atar completely ignored him and talked to each other.

"Do we know anything about the recruit?" Tracer asked.

"Not really." Atar replied. "The most we know about him is his name and military career."

"What's his name?"

"Zen. Zen 'Yurod."

Tracer pulled out a clipboard and a stylus. "Name… Zen… 'Yurod…" He said, writing down his name.

"Awwwww." Utarz grumbled. "I wanted a female arriving here."

Miara sighed. "Utarz, what female would join the army and then sleep with you?"

"For your information, I am very good at that sort of stuff. I once got a nun into bed after she had taken her vows."

"…Every single day you find new ways to disgust me."

"And what's his military career?" Tracer asked.

"He doesn't have one." Atar replied. "He's a fresh recruit."

"Prior… military…" Tracer wrote. "Experience… none. Rank… Minor."

"So he failed all three tests on his first go?" Miara asked.

"Affirmative." Atar confirmed. "He demonstrated complete lack of skill in all three areas, but afterwards, when he was told that he was coming here, he kept saying that the test was rigged."

"Rigged?" Tracer looked up in surprise. "What kind of Sangheili would rig a military test?"

"I would." Utarz said.

"Yeah, but you've been stuck here for several years and you don't have any friends, so it couldn't have been you."

"…Aren't you guys my friends?"

Everyone stared at him.

"Yeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh…" Repora said. "No."

"…I hate you all."

"Oh, here he comes!" Miara said, pointing up.

"Standby for recruit!" Atar ordered.

Everyone stood at attention and watched as the drop ship started to appear from the sky.

A dark green Sangheili Minor sighed as he saw the landing pad grow closer.

He knew that the test was rigged. He wasn't saying that the Prophets had ordered it so but he was certain that his poor performance was due to rigging.

Maybe his water was drugged. He'd certainly felt odd on the moment of the test and everything was swimming before his eyes. Or perhaps the weapons had been purposely faulty. After all, his rifle had jammed multiple times.

Above all, he felt that the questions in the test were completely unfair. How was he supposed to know who the eightysecond general in the whole of history was?

He had tried to tell everybody, but they took his words with a grain of salt. They believed him to be a sore loser. His parents had disowned him the moment they heard he was going to the 800 Squad, so he couldn't talk to them about his beliefs.

Eventually, he just gave up. No one believed him, so what was the point of trying to convince them?

He didn't know much about the 800 Squad, other than it was the reject pile. He didn't know anything about the Sangheili who occupied the base. He expected morons, but other than that…

Well, he was about to find out.

The Phantom landed on the landing pad, the doors opening. He was greeted with the sight of a Sangheili General in maroon/orange General Armour, a purple Spec Ops Sangheili, a blue Sangheili Minor, a (to his surprise) female, yellow Sangheili Minor and a white Ranger with inscrutable features.

It was truly an odd bunch of soldiers.

Zen stepped out of the Phantom and looked at the soldiers. The Phantom's doors closed and the ship left.

So this is it. Zen thought. I'm stuck here.

"Welcome!" The General said. "I assume that you are Zen?"

"Yes sir." Zen replied. Then he asked, "Pardon me for asking, but how come someone of your rank is in the 800 Squad?"

"Don't ask, don't tell." The General replied. "I'm General Atar, leader of the Sangheili 800 Squad. I believe that introductions are in order."

"That would be nice, sir."

Atar gestured to the Spec Ops Sangheili. "This is Trac 'Eros, our Technician and Field Medic. He would prefer it if you called him Tracer, though."

"Pleasure to meet you." Tracer said politely.

"Same here." Zen lied. "May I ask, isn't a Field Medic the same thing as a doctor?" Doctors were held in low regard on Sangheilos.

"Nope." Tracer replied. "Doctors cut other people up. Field Medics apply medicine and kill the suffering."

Atar then gestured to the female Minor. "This is Miara, our Pyrotechnics Expert and quite possibly the only female Sangheili soldier in the whole Covenant."

"Hello!" Miara piped cheerfully.

Zen looked at her. "Pyrotechnics? That's a thing in the Covenant?"

"Well, no." Miara admitted. "I'm the only one who practises it."

"Sounds interesting."

Atar gestured to the blue Minor. "This is Utarz, the squad's local jackass."

"Hey!" Utarz snapped.

Zen looked at him. "You know, you should be more polite to your commanding officer."

"Fuck that." Utarz grumbled. "He's never polite to me."

"Except he has the right to be impolite to you."

"Yeah? Says who?"

"Says command." Zen said, already getting frustrated.

"Yeah? Well command can su-"

"MOVING ON." Atar said suddenly. He pointed to the Ranger. "This is Repora, our Demolitions Expert."

"Hello!" Repora said cheerfully.

Zen looked uncertainly at him. "Repora… I've seen your name in the news."

"Oh, thanks!"

"That wasn't a compliment. You murdered twenty-five civilians."

Repora chuckled. "I remember that. Man, that was fun."

"…Okay…" Atar muttered. "Something else to be terrified of." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, Tracer will give you a tour of the base. Won't you, Tracer?"

"Yup." Tracer gestured to Zen. "Follow me."

Zen nodded and walked over to him.

"Make sure the new guy stays away from my room." Utarz told Tracer.

Zen looked at Utarz. "Why would I want to go into your room?"

"I dunno. Just stay out of it, I've got some good shit in there."

"I doubt that." Tracer said. "Let's go."

As Tracer and Zen walked away, Utarz glared at the green form. "Atar, I think the new guy's a dick."

Atar closed his eyes, then opened them and faced Utarz. "For the last time, you address me as either general, or sir."

"Fuck that, you always call me Utarz."

"I am in a position of power. You are not."

"You know," Repora commented. "It's always nice to meet someone who remembers you for who you are."

Zen had already decided that he didn't like Utarz.

"What is that guy's problem?" He muttered.

"We don't know." Tracer sighed. "We're planning to get him tested for brain damage."

Zen looked at the impending base before him, although it looked more like a ruin to him. "Is this the base?"

"Yup."

Zen was silent. Tracer chuckled. "I know what you're thinking. You see, we've been trying to repair the base for some time now, but since Repora's arrival, he's been unravelling most of our hard work. We still press on though."

"How do you guys live here?" Zen asked.

"We turn the heaters onto maximum and move a lot outside during winter."

"And during summer?"

"Same, except without the heaters."

"Uh, huh."

"Follow me. I'll run you through the important things."

"This is the courtyard." Tracer said. "We have assembly here."

"Assembly?"

"In case of emergencies."

"Ah."

"This is the vehicle depot." Tracer said. "Here, we keep all vehicles that we've built or captured."

Zen looked around. "Doesn't look like there's many vehicles."

"Well, we have some. There's Utarz's Ghost, the squad Phantom… and that's it."

"We seriously only have two vehicles?"

"I'm in the process of building a Wraith… but it keeps getting blown up." Tracer grumbled.

"This is Atar's office." Tracer said, showing Zen a small room with a metal desk and a large computer screen.

"Huh." Zen looked around. "Neat."

"This room has a large amount of history. You see, we're pretty sure this is where the previous owner of the base died." Tracer pointed to a dusty Sangheili skeleton.

"GAH!" Zen jumped when he saw the skeleton. "How come I didn't see that?!"

"Dunno. It's easy to miss for some reason."

"Why is it still here?! You guys should get rid of it!"

"We would, but he's stuck to the wall." Tracer pointed to some heating pipes where the skeleton's arms were lodged firmly. "We believe that some Brutes killed him."

"This is the weaponry room." Tracer pointed to a room with hooks on the walls.

"It's empty." Zen pointed out.

"We don't get many supply drops."

"This is the kitchen." Tracer said, gesturing to the room. "Utarz makes the food here, although we don't get much to work with."

Zen blinked. "Wait, why does Utarz make the food?"

"Looks and attitude may hide it, but Utarz is actually an excellent cook." Tracer explained. "We think it's the Forerunner's way of compensating."

"This is the training grounds." Tracer pointed to a large area. "We have an obstacle course, a shooting ground and a fake base."

"Wow!" Zen was impressed. "This is actually pretty cool."

"Yeah, but we don't use it very often." Tracer admitted. "Atar gets tired of constant failure."

"…Oh. That sucks."

"Eh. We consider ourselves lucky."

"Up there is the sentry box." Tracer said, pointing up to a large tower. "It's pretty pointless because we don't get attacked. Ever."

"Then why is it here?" Zen asked.

"Atar insisted."

"This is the malfunctioning door." Tracer pointed to a metal door that looked perfectly fine. "We're pretty sure that Repora did something to it."

Confused, Zen approached the door. "Looks normal to me."

"That is a deception." Tracer replied seriously. "Don't open it. EVER."

"This is the bomb shelter." Tracer said. "We flee here if we're getting bombed by someone or something."

Zen said, "We're the reject pile. No-one has any reason to bomb us."

"You'd be surprised." Tracer replied. "Let's move on."

Zen looked at a blue door to his right. "What's in there?"

Tracer blinked. "Oh, that's… that's Utarz's room."

"Oh. Let's leave."

"This is the power room." Tracer pointed to a large plasma battery. "This thing powers the whole base."

"How come we had to go through about forty locks?" Zen asked.

"Repora got in here a few months ago. All the lights in the base exploded."

"How-?"

"We don't know. But we've decided that we can no longer take any chances with him."

"This is the garbage disposal bay." Tracer pointed to a dusty, smelly area with several garbage bags around. "Here, we dump all of our unwanted crap so it can be collected and thrown into space."

"What throws it into space?" Zen asked.

"Our Phantom."

"So the Engineers don't do it for you?"

"We don't have Engineers."

"You're kidding me!" Zen said incredulously. "Everyone has at least one Engineer!"

"Yeah, getting Engineers is a privilege. We aren't known for getting privileges."

"Wow…" Zen was amazed. "You guys really do suck."

"Yup."

"This is the armoury." Tracer pointed to a large room. "We keep our extra armour in here.

"Why do you need extra armour if you never get into battles?" Zen asked.

"Really? We just keep them in case the armour we currently have gets dirty or something."

"And this is your room." Trace pointed inside a spacious room with some weapon racks and a floating bed.

Zen blinked. "Wait, really?"

"Yup. All personnel get a whole bedroom to themselves. It's easy to organise, since we only have five soldiers here. Well," Tracer looked at Zen. "Six, now."

"Okay, so that's pretty cool…" Zen mused.

"And now for some basic safety instructions." Tracer said.

"I think I can figure out what to and not to do."

Ignoring him, Tracer said, "First rule: When Atar asks you to do a 'favour', immediately blow it off, as the favour will usually be very, if not extremely, dangerous. Rule two: If you damage or destroy a vehicle, I withhold the right to murder you in any way I see fit. Rule three: Avoid Miara when she's angry, as this means that she will set fire to the first thing she sees.

"Rule four: If you are going to beat up or generally annoy Utarz, make sure that you have a passable reason for why you're doing it. Rule five: If you hear Repora scream Utarz's name, then immediately head to the bomb shelter because he will start firing random fuel rods everywhere. Any questions?"

Zen stared at Tracer, in a complete loss of what to say. Finally, he managed, "Um… does that sort of stuff usually happen?"

"Every. Fucking. Day." Tracer growled.

After Tracer had gone off to show Zen the base, everyone else had gone off to do their own thing.

Utarz, however, took a while to decide what to do.

First, he decided to go pester Repora. He had accidently made a joke that normally would've encouraged Repora to kill him. Instead, Repora just shrugged it off, put his arm around Utarz's shoulders and then went into great detail about his previous crimes, all the while talking in a pleasant and casual tone.

Utarz had thrown up for about five minutes afterwards.

Deciding to stay the hell away from Repora after that, Utarz went into the kitchen to drink, but found that Atar had gotten rid of all his alcohol. Again. So getting wasted wasn't an option.

After some thought, Utarz decided to pursue and issue that had been troubling him for a while. So he went to Miara.

It took him a while to find her and when he did, she gave him an unfriendly glare. This was nothing new. She had detested him ever since he had made it clear that he didn't care for honour or the glory of the Covenant.

He had pretended to share that dislike, but she was still his younger sister, so he still cared for her. He saw it as his duty to make sure that she made the right decisions in her life.

Hypocritical, yes. But he felt that he had to do it, no matter what.

"What do you want?" Miara asked coldly.

"I want to know what exactly you think of Tracer." Utarz replied.

One of those decisions he wanted to make sure she did right was who she spent her life with.

"Oh, for the sake of the Forerunners," Miara snapped. "We've been over this!"

"Yeah, and I'm not happy with the responses you've given me!" Utarz snapped back. "I mean, what the hell sort of answer is, 'none of your business?'"

"A truthful answer! What I do with my life is my responsibility, not yours!"

"Like it or not, I am your older brother so it's my j-"

Miara glared at him. "Your 'what'?"

Utarz choose his next words with care. "It's my right to know what your thoughts are."

"Bull."

"Hey, it's true!"

"Fine. You really want to know what I think of Tracer?"

"Yes."

"I think that he is a nice guy who I would sleep with just to piss you off."

Utarz growled. "Not if I have anything to say about that."

"You don't."

"…Um… yeah, I don't… uh… that's actually a good point."

"Why do you care, anyway?" Miara asked. "It wouldn't affect your life."

Utarz thought quickly. He didn't want Miara to think that he cared for her. She detested him, so it wouldn't be good for his health.

Thankfully, it was easy for him to come up with an excuse.

"Yes, it would." Utarz replied. "I don't want Tracer as my brother-in-law. I don't need him nerding up my life. And I'm pretty sure that Tracer wouldn't want me as an in-law either."

He had her there. Miara loathed being Utarz's brother, so she could accurately guess what someone else would feel like if they were Utarz's in-law.

"I… well…"

"Exactly!" Utarz pressed his point. "Besides, what could he possibly do for you? He's a nerd! On top of that, he's a doctor! You'd be-"

"Medic." Said a voice from behind him.

"Whatever!" Utarz replied. "Doctor, medic, what's th-" Utarz froze when he realised who had spoken.

"Not a doctor," Tracer continued, glaring at Utarz. "A medic. There's a difference. A slight difference, but a difference nonetheless."

Utarz looked at him. "Hey dude, do you mind? I'm talking to Miara here."

"Yeah, and now I want to talk to her. So, could you leave, please?"

"You're not the boss of me!"

"I have a higher rank."

"That's bull. Your armour was taken off of a dead guy."

"Fine, then I'll just call Repora."

"Fine. I'll go." Utarz turned and left, muttering under his breath, "Asshole…"

Tracer watched him go, and then turned to Miara. "You sure you're related to him?"

Miara chuckled. "Yeah, we took a blood test."

"That's unfortunate."

"Yeah… Aren't you meant to be giving Zen a tour?"

"Just finished. He's probably unpacking in his room."

"Unpacking? He didn't bring any luggage."

"Oh. Right."

"So… what now?"

"Dunno… that's up to Atar."

An awkward silence fell between them.

"I'm going to tell Atar that I'm finished." Tracer said, walking off.

"Sure." Miara said, looking at him leave.

When he was out of sight, she sighed.

She truly liked him, but she wasn't sure if he was the male she wanted to spend her life with yet. True, he was smart and resourceful, but he also lacked physical strength and a good aim with firearms. Plus, she was pretty sure that Tracer didn't want to be related to Utarz in any way.

It was annoying to say the least. All these things she wanted to tell him and she couldn't.

Another really inconvenient fact was that there weren't any other males she could choose. Due to her placement in the 800 Squad, males who weren't wouldn't agree to marriage with her. So her only choices lay within the 800 Squad.

Utarz was her brother, so that wasn't an option and she was pretty sure that Atar was already married, so he was out of the question as well. So the only non-married males in the Squad were Tracer and Repora.

So basically, her only choice was Tracer.

The new guy opened up a new vista though… but she didn't know anything about him yet. Perhaps she could ask him some questions later.

Atar would've frowned at his monitor if he could've. According to Zen's profile, he had been part of a very successful military family. Nothing to suggest that he had the potential to be thrown into the reject pile.

In fact, his profile actually said that he had trained for years to get into the army. All the evidence pointed to Zen not belonging here.

Tracer entered the room. "Sir?"

Atar turned and looked at him. "Finished giving Zen the tour?"

"Yup. He's in his room now. Dunno what he's doing, though."

"Well, whatever he's doing he's gonna have to stop. I'm organising a training exercise."

Tracer blinked. "Huh? But why?"

"I have my reasons."

"…Okay sir. Do you want me to tell everyone else?"

"Negative." Atar turned to the intercom mic and turned it on.

"To all troops under the 800 Squad." Atar's voice echoed through the base. "I have decided to hold a simple training regimen on the training grounds today. I expect you all to be there within fifteen minutes. Thank you."

In his room, Zen looked up curiously. Didn't Tracer say that Atar didn't like the training sessions?

In the courtyard, Miara frowned at her flamethrower. She had been experiencing some technical difficulties with it lately and wasn't keen on letting anyone know.

In the kitchen, Utarz groaned. He hated training sessions. They were boring and always ended the same way.

At the door leading to the power room, Repora giggled happily. Finally, an excuse to kill Utarz with the new guy around!

In his office, Atar looked at Tracer and said, "You better get moving. The time limit includes you as well.