Sorry it took so long to get this out. I don't love what they've done with Rick and Beth is S5, so the inspiration lacks a little bit. But I love them, so I will write them, gosh darn it! haha.
Thank you again to all my lovely reviewers, and as always, do not own TWD.
Rick opened his eyes, but not by choice. He hadn't meant to fall asleep in the first place. Watching Beth sleep on his chest turned out to be extremely tiring. He had every intent of staying awake throughout the night, just in case. Beth clearly needed the rest, and he would make do. Sometime around midnight though, when it was quiet and dark, and Beth was snoring softly, his eyelids became heavy and he caved to the temptation.
Now as the light in the room blinded Rick awake, however, he was alone in the cold bed with nothing but a pillow to hold. Beth was stomping around, slamming dresser drawers, and mumbling to herself.
"Beth?" he asked, as she threw a boot against the wall.
Beth whipped around and glared at Rick, setting her jaw. "None of this bitch's fucking shoes fit!" she yelled, causing Rick to blanch. He sat up and gingerly crawled across the bed. He'd heard Beth curse before, but not like this. He tenderly pressed his hand on her shoulder.
""S no rush, Beth. We can go hit a store later today if you want." Rick whispered to Beth. He had hoped she would yield under his touch, but unfortunately she went another direction. She pushed his hand off, and stood up furiously.
"No rush, Rick? We need to go find Carl. And Maggie! We've been on our own like a week, and already we've…" She paused, chewing the inside of her cheek. Rick winced watching her, knowing she wasn't ready to vocally recall what she'd had to do. She physically shook off the ending of the sentence. "I want to find them before they have to deal with what we have. Or worse."
Rick nodded, and stood. He completely agreed with Beth. It bothered him that Carl was out there. He and Beth had faired relatively well. They were both well fed, and well rested, and had come out of the latest scuffle physically unscathed. Beth needed to heal, he knew that. He wasn't sure she could do that on the road.
"We're going now." Beth interrupted Rick's thoughts. He turned to look at her. Beth's face was a mask of stubbornness, and he knew there wouldn't be any argument. She was still wearing the sweats he had put her in last night, but she had pulled Daryl's vest on over it. She had on a pair of clean, white tennis shoes that were clearly too large for her. She quickly turned away from his judging glance, and picked up Daryl's crossbow, slinging it onto her back. "Let's go." She said, chin in the air.
Rick tried not to laugh. Beth standing there in oversized clothes, with Daryl's vest and crossbow, and that stubborn visage… she really did look like a much smaller Daryl. Maybe he had rubbed off on Beth more than Rick realized. But just as with Daryl, Rick knew it would be foolish to laugh or to argue. So he nodded again and began to get dressed.
She stood by the door and watched him impatiently. She sighed when he went to dig in the closet for a coat. She sighed when he sat back down to tie his boots. She sighed when he checked out his beard in a mirror.
That last one he might have done just to see if she'd sigh again.
/
Rick was watching Beth slash through tree limbs with a veracity that unsettled him. He wasn't an idiot; there was no wondering what was wrong with her. He knew all the things that we're going through her head, the self-blame, the guilt, and of course, the anger. He'd been here before when Lori died. Now Beth was consumed with the overwhelming pain like he had been.
And there was nothing he could do about it.
Nothing anyone had said to Rick had effected how he had felt. He just needed time. Luckily Beth had been there to care for his newborn while he lost his mind. In the same way, Rick was trying to give Beth her space. She had to go through this herself, as much as it pained him.
It really, really pained him.
Before they ran into those assholes, Rick knew what was going on in his head. Beth was… special to him. If he hadn't known it before, the fear the burrowed in his stomach for her in that house was a dead giveaway. But if he knew anything about women –which was debatable- he knew that now was certainly not the time to go declaring feelings about anything. Beth would probably hit him, and he would definitely deserve it. Only a true asshole would hit on a woman who had just been sexually assaulted.
Rick crunched through the leaves. The piece of shit that attacked Beth was lucky she got to him first. He would have killed him in the most painful way possible, and then let him turn. He would have killed him for looking at Beth cross-eyed; but seeing the anger seething from Beth as she stomped and growled through the woods was enough to make him rabid.
Beth would recover from the assault that much he knew. He knew how strong she was. Not physically of course, though she surprised him every day with that. Rick doubted even Beth knew how much perseverance she had. But Rick had watched her lose her mother –twice- her brother, her friends, her dad, and her sister… and still she strode on. Not only that, but she did it with a smile on her face.
And, of course, she had been through it before, with Jimmy. Rick didn't know if this made it better or worse. Rick wished, not for the first time, that Daryl were here. He trusted Daryl as his brother, but seeing him with Beth… he knew her. Rick was almost jealous. He wanted to know Beth so deeply that he could anticipate her pain. And, hopefully, keep her from it. She didn't deserve any of this.
Rick couldn't help but wonder if Beth was just too good for this world. Maybe light, beauty, and music couldn't fit in a world riddled with terror. This, at the end of the day, meant either losing Beth, or Beth losing herself.
Rick wasn't sure which terrified him more.
/
Rick had been lost in his thoughts for ages, when he noticed something. One of the traps he had built.
"Beth, where are we going?" Rick asked with a hint of panic in his voice. He knew where they were going and so did she. Shit, this was a terrible idea. If anyone In Joe's group had survived, this would be the first place they'd stop if they were looking for revenge. There wasn't going to be anything there, and they were risking their lives.
"Beth, answer me." He tried again, reaching out towards her arm. At the contact, Beth took off into a run, and left him behind.
Shit.
Rick took off following her through the trees, but he knew what a useless endeavor it would be. She was so fast, she looked like a gazelle weaving between trees, that blonde ponytail flipping in the wind. She was also in much better shape than he was, he quickly realized, as his lungs began to burn like fire. Rick couldn't call out to her, couldn't call more attention to them than they already were. All he could do is stay as close to her as possible.
Beth finally skid to a stop in the clearing by the cabin. Or what had been the cabin. It wasn't completely ash, but it was far too close. The structure stood, but was blackened beyond recognition. Rick felt his throat constrict as Beth once again began running towards the structure.
Rick took off after her again. The building could collapse on her at any time, it was far from stable. He finally caught up to her when she hesitated at the door. He grabbed her around the waist, and pulled her backwards away from the entrance. She screamed, the first sound she had made the entire trip, and clawed at his arms while she thrashed and kicked wildly.
It was breaking Rick. He held tightly, horrified that he couldn't do anything to help her besides keep her safe from the danger of the cabin. He knew that he should shush her cries, but the lump in his throat was preventing it. He let her get it out. He buried his face in her hair as he fought back his own tears. Watching her in pain like this was killing him.
She finally slacked against him enough that he loosened his grip around her. "You can't go in there, Beth. It isn't safe. We shouldn't even be here."
"You promised me!" she screamed, her nails digging into his arms again. "You promised we wouldn't leave it!" Her back arched away from him as she spit her accusations forward. Rick had no response, and held her tighter once again.
"I know." He whispered. Memories of the blood soaked carrier filled his mind, and he was thankful. Better that than the blue eyed girl who inhabited it.
Beth began sobbing as the tension she put against him slackened. He thought she was finally releasing the pent up rage and sadness that had been overwhelming her. But when he relaxed his arms, she pushed away from him.
"You don't know shit." Was all she said as she stalked back into the woods, leaving Rick to despair in her wake.
I wanted to let you guys know that thanks to faithful reviewer Emma Kellog I've published a Brick one shot. It kind of took on a fluffy life of its own, and is much longer than I intended. Its a fluffy "Rick meets the parents"AU no zombie BRICK fic. I hope that wets your whistle, and I'm curious to know what you guys think. It's linked on my profile. 3
Thank you all again, truly. Its a delight to write for such kind people.