Feb 26th, 1990 (2nd entry today)
Dear Diary,
Tonight was horrible. If I never see him, or hear the name Deacon Claybourne again it will be too soon. He's the biggest asshole I've ever met. I can't believe Watty thought we'd be a good match onstage.
Overall the performance went well. I hate to admit that Deacon is an amazingly talented guitar player. I need someone like him, but if I have anything to say about it, Deacon would be my last choice EVER!
Why do the good looking guys always have to be such jerks? I just feel like crying myself to sleep.
I can't believe I've let him get to me like this. I'm not even sure why he gets to me this way. He's not important, and I sure as hell don't need him, or his negative crap!
It's hard to believe we meshed so well together onstage, but can't even have a civil conversation offstage. I don't understand why he hates me so much.
A few hours earlier…
Deacon was fuming after his little spat with Rayna. He'd stepped out back to cool off after she grabbed her guitar and refused his help. After a few deep breaths, he'd composed himself enough to get back to work behind the bar. He quietly slipped into the back room, careful not to make any noise as Rayna finished her first song. He couldn't deny she had the sweetest voice he'd ever heard, but her guitar skills, or lack of made him cringe. He felt bad for not being up there to help her. The small crowd clapped politely, but it was pretty lackluster applause.
"What are you do…." Rayna irritatedly whispered as Deacon took the guitar from her, and quietly took a seat next to her in the round
"Just shut up and start your next number! I got this." He snapped back before she could argue any further
"This one's called "No one will ever love you." Rayna told the small crowd as Deacon began the guitar intro
He surprised her when he came in behind her, accompanying her on the chorus line. They finished to a thundering applause from the small crowd.
She was so surprised by the crowds response, she froze for several seconds, unable to remember her final number.
"C'mon sweetheart. Ya got one more song. Relax…" Deacon whispered in her ear as he again began the guitar intro for "Already Gone."
Rayna fell into melody with his guitar strumming, and he again came in behind her with the chorus line. The crowd again clapped and applauded for several minutes, followed by a standing ovation.
"I think they want one more." Deacon smiled and gently took Rayna's hand
"I…I don't have anything else ready…what…" Rayna stammered as Deacon began the intro to one of his own songs and pulled a scribbled sheet from his shirt pocket
"Just follow me, and fill in. Doesn't gotta be perfect. I just wrote this one." He began singing his latest song "Back Home" as Rayna filled in as best she could trying to follow his scribbled lyrics
"You wrote that?" Rayna asked as they finished the song to more applause
"Yeah, why?"
"It just doesn't seem like you. Is it about your girlfriend, or wife?" Rayna was being nosey as she followed Deacon to the back room
"There aint no wife, and I'm not really boyfriend material." Deacon huffed a little irritated with the personal questions
"You might be if you'd lighten up a little. You come across as a jerk! Maybe a clean shirt would help?" Rayna suggested noting the stain on Deacons dress shirt
"I do just fine with the ladies, sweetheart! I haven't had time to do laundry. Some of us don't have round the clock maid service and staff to keep up on all these daily tasks!" Deacon snapped back as he noticed the stain for the first time and felt a bit embarrassed
"You really have a problem with where I come from, don't you?" Rayna asked
"I don't got no problem with where you come from. I just got a problem with the way you seem to think you're better than everyone here, because of where you come from."
"I don't think I'm better th…."
"Save it, Rayna! You're good, real good. Watty's right bout that, but you blow in here from nowhere thinkin you don't need no help. Everybody needs a little help in this business. It's brutal! There aint a bar in Nashville that doesn't have a live band damn near every night. Every one of those people are tryin to make it. Some of em are damn good, better than you, and still strugglin after years. You probably have a better shot because daddy can pay for expensive studio time, and get you heard by more of his highfalutin friends…."
"Are you done?" Rayan snapped before he could say anymore
"Probably wastin my breath anyway, huh?" he turned to gently wipe down and place her mom's old Gibson in it's tattered case.
"You think you know so much about me? You don't know a thing, Deacon!" She was trying to hold back tears. She didn't want to break down in front of him
"Well, whatever your story…I wish you luck, darlin, but this aint my cup a tea!" He snapped the guitar case closed and stood up to go back to work behind the bar
"..and you think you know so much, and plan to make it big?" Rayna spat as he turned to leave the back room
"No, darlin. I'm just tryin to get by. I don't have any big dreams of fame and fortune. I do it because I love music, and I know I'm damn good. Don't really care if anyone else thinks I am, or not. I work too because music is more a hobby than a livin. You heard the crowd out there tonight. That's all I need."
"So why won't you help me?"
"Didn't we just cover that?"
"You're dead wrong about me, Deacon Claybourne! You don't know a thing! How can you just assume I'm some spoiled little rich girl using daddy's money to get ahead? You met me an hour ago."
"Well, I think the BMW and the different pair of lucchese boots to match every expensive outfit, the done up hair and make up pretty much say it all, dear! We're from different sides of town, and I think it's best we keep it that way. I gotta get back to work. Good luck, darlin! I'm sure Watty will find you another guitarist."
"What if I want you?"
"I can't be bought, sweetheart! All your daddy's money isn't enough."
"Why do you hate me so much?" Rayna stammered on the verge of tears again
"That's another thing you're gonna need to learn in this business, darlin. Not everybody's gonna like ya."
"You're such an ass! I wish Watty had never asked you to help me." Rayna burst into tears, grabbed her guitar and ran for the back door before Deacon could catch her
He just caught the tail lights of her BMW as she peeled out of the parking lot. He jumped into his truck, but the temperamental old engine took several tries before it started. Her tail lights were long gone by the time he made it onto the road. After a few miles he turned back to work, unsure of where she might have turned off.
He felt horrible as he returned to his bar tending duties. Sarah wasn't happy he'd been gone for more than an hour, which pretty much set the tone for his foul mood the rest of the night. He barely spoke to anyone as he closed the bar later than night.
"I'm surprised you're home. No women tonight?" Deacon sarcastically asked as he arrived home to Vince still in his underwear on the couch
"Why are you in such a pissy ass mood?" Vince asked as Deacon flopped in the chair with a bottle of Jack, throwing the cap across the room, to join a pile of other caps, bottles, and cans strewn about the apartment
"I dunno, Vince! Maybe cause after I work an extra 8 hour shift to pay rent in this dump, and keep a piece a shit truck runnin, I come back to find you still in the same damn spot on MY couch in your underwear drinkin MY beer!"
"Geez man…sorry, I told ya I got fired! I'll look for a job tomorrow. I called ma. She's sendin me some money. I'll cover my half of the rent. Lighten up, Deke!"
"You know you're the second person that's told me to "Lighten Up" tonight! Am I really that much of an asshole?" Deacon asked as he took a long pull from the Jack bottle
"You're just intense. Somethin buggin ya?"
"No, I don't wanna talk about it."
"oohhh, sounds like female trouble!" Vince tried to joke around and lighten Deacon's mood
Deacon only scowled and took another long pull from the Jack bottle
"Well, you were at the Bluebird. Let me guess…this wouldn't have anything to do with that hot little red head Watty introduced you to, would it?"
"What part of "I don't wanna talk about it" wasn't clear?" Deacon snapped
"K..fine man! You wanna hit broadway? It's only a little after midnight. It's early. The girls from the other night said they'd be at Tootsie's tonight."
"Yeah, best offer I've had all day! Get dressed. We're goin out." An already tipsy Deacon agreed as he finished the bottle of Jack, and tossed it in the corner