Sorry for the delay getting this out. Life, you know? That crazy thing.

As always, I don't own The Walking Dead, and I swear to god if I did our girl would be alive and kicking.

Please enjoy!

Beth didn't sleep again that night. She pretended to, of course, because Rick was watching her like a hawk. Even in the darkness, his blue eyes shot through her like an arrow, and she finally closed her eyes, and made the appropriate sleeping sounds. Deep breath in, deep breath out… slow and deep. Twitch a little here; let him think you're dreaming. And, after what felt like forever, Rick finally started snoring gently beside her, his curls falling forward into his face and Beth stared at him.

What in the absolute HELL had that been?

What was it he had been saying to her? Beth couldn't quite remember. She was having difficulty breathing at the time, but she got the gist. Or had she? Because with what Rick was saying, it sounded like…

But that couldn't be.

Beth thought back to just a few days ago, when she had been writhing in the small bed in their little cabin. A cabin that was now nothing more than a pile of rubble. How she had reached her peak imagining him whispering words not unlike those he had whispered last night. How she had bit her lip imagining his arms and hands and lips touching her, the same things that had comforted her just a couple of hours ago.

She felt like a different person now.

Nothing was the same now. How could it be? Rick had been right, at the time. She was lying to herself, pretending they were on some sort of romantic getaway, not fighting to survive. Not fighting to find their family. She had been picking flowers, getting tipsy, and flirting instead of fighting. She wondered if she knew then what she knew now what she would have done.

Beth was no fool, she knew that light side of her… the joy, whatever it was, it was still in her, buried deep. She knew with time she would smile again, laugh again. Hell, she even knew that though she planned how to kill herself, that she probably wouldn't have the guts to do it. Hadn't she tried that already? What had kept her from it then? She hadn't wanted to die. She wanted to live. Was it different now?

Yes and no. At the time, it was fear. Before, Beth had closed her eyes and saw her dead mother reaching up to bite her, and Rick himself pulling her away. Now when she closed her eyes, she saw him touching her. Not just that, she saw herself shooting him. Shooting other men. Just firing the gun over and over, and blood. So much blood. And Rick, once again, pulling her away to safety.

Is that how it would always be? Rick coming to pull her out of her nightmares? Or did her nightmares start when the day Rick walked onto her farm?

No, even at her weakest, when Beth hated pretty much everything, she knew that was a lie. The world had gone to shit long before Rick Grimes walked into her life.

She turned to him, and gently tucked a curl behind his ear, causing his breath to hitch, and him to snort, before turning his head in his sleep.

Beth smiled sadly. She didn't know what the future was for her. She couldn't pretend the appeal of ending it all had left her completely. Even if she pushed past it, she wasn't ready for whatever he had been offering, if it had indeed been anything. He might be enough to get her past what she was fighting, but she couldn't pretend that she could be anywhere close to a man physically right now. The idea almost made her nauseated. And Rick was… well, he was a man. There would be no awkward fumbling like she experienced with Jimmy or Zach. It would be… everything, all at once, and Beth didn't… she couldn't…

Shit.

She'd freaked herself out thinking about it, and now she was having a panic attack again. She gripped Daryl's hand beside her, the cold and lifeless thing, and started trying to catch her breath. She didn't want to wake Rick up. He'd try and help her, and she just didn't want that right now. She had to do this on her own.

Beth's eyes clenched shut and she concentrated at breathing in through her nose, not her mouth. She'd seen her daddy do this with Shawn a lot. He'd had bad anxiety as a kid, and ran around with an inhaler. She just had to catch her breath and it would be okay.

The problem was, her dad had always told Shawn to think of something happy, something relaxing, to help him get past it. And there was nothing for Beth to think of. Her parents were dead, her brother was dead. Her sister… at best was missing. Her best friend lay cold and unmoving to her left. Every time she tried to dwell on something good it reminded her there was nothing left and suddenly she wasn't just struggling to breathe, all air had left her body. All she had was…

"…Rick." She gasped, and immediately his eyes flew open. He grabbed her and started talking to her again, like he had never been asleep in the first place. He grabbed her hand in his own, and placed it to his chest where she could feel the rhythm of his breathing. Breathe in, and back out again, over and over. She started to catch her breath and her eyes moved from his hands holding hers to his chest and up to his deep eyes that watched her. Beth searched Rick eyes, trying to find something, anything for her to understand.

She saw only love, and patience, and fear for her.

That scared her more than anything else she could have found.

/

They had just gotten up after that. Beth had made it clear to Rick she would not be falling asleep again, and they were only about an hour from sunrise anyway. They said nothing as they prepped what little they have, and crawled out the window.

Rick had crawled out first, after having spotted a small shipping crate (bananas. How he missed those…) that he was able to use to get out without any assistance. He silently cleared a few straggling walkers to give time for Beth to say her goodbyes. And frankly, to give him time to mentally berate himself.

What in the hell had he been thinking? It was one thing to help Beth through a panic attack, that's just being kind. He had done as much with numerous people in his former capacity as lawman. But what in the actual hell had he said to her? He had been so drowsy, even now he couldn't exactly remember. But boy, he could remember the gist. He might as well have declared his love for her.

That's just excellent timing, you dumbass. Rick yelled at himself. Oh you've just been through a severe trauma, and are currently fighting off an anxiety attack brought on by a vivid nightmare? What are you doing tonight? He kicked the brick building behind him. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Selfish, and stupid!

Rick crouched down and held his head in his hands. He had gotten her through the episode, that's what mattered. Beth, being healthy, that's what mattered. His… crush, or whatever this was played second fiddle. Not even that, 18th fiddle. They had much bigger fish to fry at the moment; finding their family, surviving, getting Beth to feel safe and healthy. Priorities, Rick, Priorities.

Rick heard Beth arrive in the window behind him, and he instinctively reached up to help her down. She regarded him warily, but accepted his help by putting her hands on his shoulders and letting him grasp her waist and ease her down. Her feet landed softly on the ground, and he let go of her as quickly as he could.

"Thank you for killin' the walkers." Beth practically whispered, her head angled down towards one that Rick had disposed of just moments ago.

Rick nodded frantically is response, his mouth suddenly unable to open and form a coherent thought.

While Rick continued to mentally berate himself for acting like a teenage boy, Beth began inspecting the sides of the building and the ground, occasionally bending down and touching the dirt or a stray leaf.

"Anything?" Rick muttered, embarrassed, but eager and hopeful to the prospect of finding his son.

Beth cocked her head gently. "Hard to say. There's a lot of footprints, and some of them could easily belong to… those people." She swallowed heavily. "I've been trying to pinpoint Carl's foot, since it would be so much smaller, but… well, truth be told, he's grown so much lately I don't know if it really would be or not." She admitted, shaking her head.

Rick blushed at the realization that he didn't really know either. Carl had indeed grown to the point where he was sure the boy must have been pulling Nikes off of walkers. The Sheriff's hat that had once engulfed his son now fit him better than it ever had Rick. Although Carl was still skinny just as Lori had been, he thought with a smile to himself. Even if it hadn't been an apocalypse, he imagined Carl shoving pizza pockets in his face and never gaining a pound. Rick, on the other hand, had always been chubby growing up, and it had been Shane pushing him to join the football team, then subsequently, the police force that kept him trim. Now of course, it was mostly just lack of food.

Rick was poking at his stomach when he realized Beth was watching him. She looked away quickly when he looked up at her, and he noticed a blush spread across her features. He imagined it somewhat matched his own.

"Um… Michonne's feet might actually be smaller and she might have a distinctive shoe, I don't know anything about it to be honest…" he mumbled quickly. But Beth's face lit up.

"That's perfect!" she exclaimed as she began looking at the tracks anew. "Michonne has always had those ridiculous boots, I teased her about them all the time. I'd know them anywhere."

Rick rubbed the back of his neck, and was trying to think of something to say, but Beth looked so focused he clammed up and kept whatever nonsense that would have fallen out of his mouth to himself. Beth's nose had wrinkled in confusion and she was walking quickly away from him.

"Beth?" he called out to her as he jogged lightly to catch up to her.

Beth was shaking her head. "They fought with someone here… I think." Beth face scrunched tightly, and she lowered her crossbow. "I'm not very good at this!" she sighed, exasperated. "Daryl hadn't taught me much, really."

Rick nodded, and tentatively placed a hand on her shoulder. "Tell me what you're seeing."

Beth bent down into the dirt and gently outlined an indention in the mud with her finger. "I think this is Michonne's boot heel. Do you see how it digs in and drags right here?"

Beth looked up at him for confirmation and Rick nodded, entranced by her intensity.

"She dug in. Her weight was on the back of her heel, she was off balance, and here-" she pointed about 20 inches away to a similar rivet in the dirt. "This belonged to whomever was pushing against her. " she stood up and walked a few feet away, before kicking at the dirt. "I think she threw him here." She smiled up at Rick.

Rick's heart was racing. Beth was doing it, she was finding them. He was terrified to say anything he wanted desperately to encourage her and push her forward, but didn't want to pressure her. He'd hunted with Daryl enough to know that trails are fickle, and easy to lose. He held his breath as she bent over the grass and swung the crossbow onto her back before dropping to her hands and knees.

"I can see her boots, and here I think, I think…" she stopped and looked up at Rick, her eyes glistening. "I think this is Carl." Beth's voice broke and Rick fell to his knees beside her. His hands moved independently of his conscious mind and pulled Beth to him, kissing her on the top of her head.

Beth, however, continued searching the ground below her and stood. She grabbed his hand, and pulled him quickly as she ran, her eyes clearly following something. She came to an abrupt stop, about 300 yards later, at the edge of some woods, the opposite direction of their cabin.

Rick swallowed. "That way?"

Beth just nodded.

We're moving everybody along. This is kind of moving into a new phase of the story, as you can probably tell, where they'll be on the road looking for Michonne and Carl. I'm excited for the direction Rick and Beth are headed, both independently and as a unit. I hope you guys are too.

I feel like I should freely admit that I know nothing about tracking and am literally making it up. So I appreciate any feedback I get on the matter, or ideas. I'd happily write it in as needed!

As always, thank you, thank you, thank you for every review I get. Its what keeps this story going, even on days I don't much feel like writing. I love you all and any insight you give -positive or negative- helps me along.