Can you believe I got this out so quickly?! I can't. And this is chapter 20! A quick thank you to all of you, chapter 20 may not seem that impressive, but its a big milestone for me, and I'm glad I get to share it with you guys.

As always, I have no ownership of The Walking Dead.

When Beth opened her eyes, it was still pitch black outside. She sighed gratefully. Not only had she not woken up by yet another nightmare, but she hadn't slept so long that Rick wouldn't get a chance to sleep before the sun rose, and it was time to move on. She got up with the intent of exiting the tent, but when she opened the flap, she was greeted with the sight of Rick's back. He had positioned a chair in front of the entrance to the tent, and was snoring softly, clutching a gun. Beth chuckled lightly, and crawled quietly around him. Upon exiting, she stood and brushed the dirt from her hands and jeans. She couldn't help but smile down on the man in front of her. She should have been angry that he fell asleep on his watch, but she couldn't bring herself to be. Even when Rick was asleep, knowing he was nearby gave her a sense of protection that she knew no one else could emulate.

She bent down slightly in front of him, and wordlessly pushed his hair out of his face. Beth noticed the grey that had begun to show at his temples, and it matched the same in the wildness of his beard. She smiled sadly, knowing it was not age that brought the grey, but the stress that came with being the man everyone looked to at the end of the world. Beth felt a pang of guilt. When it had been she and Rick that had escaped the prison together, she had promised herself that she wouldn't be a burden on the man. She would help him find his son, he would help her find her sister, and that would be that. But now, despite her best efforts, she relied on him for everything. More, she reasoned, than even he knew. Yes she could defend herself physically thanks to Daryl, but everything else- her emotional and psychological well-being- she took the lead from Rick on. If he was feeling optimistic, so was she. If he was worried, so was she. Beth doubted Rick was aware of that, and that was at least good news for them both. But now Beth was faced with a new conundrum.

How the hell to wake up Rick Grimes?

In their cabin, he had always either woken up first, or just naturally stirred. She considered not waking him at all, but wanted him warm and safe inside the sleeping bag of the tent. Fall was here, after all, and despite his coat, he looked quite chilly. Beth made a mental note that they needed to stop somewhere for warmer clothes when they could.

The problem was, however, if she scared Rick waking him up, she could very easily end up with his gun in her face, and that was no good. She would really rather not be shot trying to get the man in bed. To bed, she quickly corrected mentally.

Beth stood back and surveyed him. Maybe she could stand behind him? That way his senses would come to before he could aim his gun at her. But of course he wouldn't be able to see her, which would perhaps scare him more. She finally opted that she would hold his gun down, and as his finger wasn't currently on the trigger, when she woke him, there wouldn't be much he could do whether he was afraid or not.

Beth bent down in front of him, and placed her palm flatly against the gun, holding it between her hand and his thigh, the barrel angled away from her.

"Rick." She whispered. Beth rolled her eyes at herself. She had whispered so quietly, she doubted even the moths had heard her. She was working herself up for nothing. There was no reason to even believe he'd wake up with a start, but here she was, her heart hammering in anticipation. She once again tried to determine if it was even worth it to wake him. But she wanted him warm and safe. Beth took a deep breath and worked up the courage.

"Rick." She tried more loudly, though still to no effect. Beth attempted to shake her anticipation off, and adjusted from the balls of her feet to her knees. She reached out incredibly slowly towards his shoulder.

The moment she touched his shoulder Rick's eyes shot open. "WHAT!? WHAT IS IT!? WHAT'S GOING ON?!" he stood up from the chair, inadvertently pushing Beth backwards onto her butt, his gun popping up from her loose grip. He aimed it around wildly, before his eyes seemed to land on Beth, who was lying on the ground.

Beth couldn't help herself. She began laughing. Rick had bent down, and was apologizing and trying to help her up, but she couldn't stop laughing. Something about the adrenaline combined with his insane, over the top reaction, and the fact that she was still behind on sleep turned into a case of the giggles. Beth felt tears roll down her eyes, and after a few moments she wasn't sure if she was laughing or crying. She felt Rick's arms wrap around her and he was chuckling into her hair. Beth reached in front of her and clung to Rick's forearms, as he rocked her gently.

Finally both her tears and laughter died down, and she turned and wiped her tears against Rick's arm. "I'm thinking maybe I should take first shift from now on." Beth smiled up at him. Rick laughed openly, a sound that warmed Beth to her toes.

"Yeah…" he said reaching up to rub his beard. "That's probably a smart idea."

/

Rick had handed over his gun, apologized profusely, and bid Beth a good night. Judging by the moon, he had probably around 4 hours of sleep to get before the sun was up and they needed to move on. Rick curled up in the same sleeping bag Beth had been in, and hugged the pillow that inexplicably already smelled like her. Rick closed his eyes in an attempt to sleep, but his heart was pounding, and he couldn't wipe a grin off of his face.

She had laughed.

/

Dear Diary:

I guess that's what you are. My new diary. Rick brought you to me and said that he thought it might help me to work through some stuff. That's what psychiatrists told crazy people to do back before the world went to shit. I hope Rick doesn't think I'm crazy.

Just to catch you up on what qualifies as 'shit.' About two (?) years ago, the world ended. People… when they die, they don't stay dead. And when they come back, they ain't the same. They eat those of us who are still alive. Since then, I've lost my entire family. My mom and Shawn were gone pretty quick. I still miss them greatly, but part of me is glad they aren't around to see what the world is now. Who I am now.

Not long after, Rick and his group came around. They were my new family, and we took care of each other. We lost the farm, which is where I grew up. But it seems silly to care about that now. We found a new place, the prison, but it's gone now too. That's where my daddy died. And it was the last place I saw Maggie. I don't know if she's dead or not.

Daryl and Judy are dead. Judy was Rick's daughter, but I watched her so much I thought of her as my own. Her own momma died having her. Daryl was my best friend and taught me everything I know about keeping myself safe. He was the only one who seemed to care that I know how to do that. In the end, it wasn't enough. Rick and I, we got out together, but people came for us. One of them tried to

Beth picked up the tiny little pencil and shook her head. She couldn't even write it. How pathetic was that? She chewed solemnly on her bottom lip before determinedly continuing.

One of them tried to hurt me. But I hurt him first. I hurt them all. I made it so they could never hurt me again.

Beth slammed the book closed angrily. She hadn't meant to write that, but she hadn't been sure what to write. This wasn't going to work. Back before… everything, writing in the diary had just been a way to waste time. Of all things, she found herself occasionally bored at the prison. She wished to god she could be bored now. She had fancied that perhaps, one day, after she was gone and the world was better, somebody would find it, and learn something about what they had gone through trying to survive. Now she felt stupid even considering it. She doubted the world would ever be better, and even if it were, no one would care about the ramblings of a teenager.

She would continue to try to write in the thing, for Rick, but not right now. Right now it felt like a different Beth who had owned a journal- a childish version of herself. All it was helping to do at the moment was remind her of everything she had lost to this point.

And Maggie…. Beth was working so hard not to think about Maggie. They had a lead on Carl and Michonne, so they were looking for them first. She reminded herself for the thousandth time. She loved Carl and Michonne; they were nearly family to her.

But they weren't. A treacherous thought flitted across her brain. Beth shook it off. She wanted to find Carl and Michonne terribly, but there was nothing wrong with missing her sister, her flesh and blood. This was, of course, what Carl was to Rick. And, after all, maybe Michonne, who was an excellent tracker in her own right, would be able to help find Maggie. Or maybe they were already together.

Why hadn't Maggie looked for her? The same evil voice whispered, before Beth quickly shut it down. For one thing, she couldn't be sure that Maggie was even alive. And if she were, knowing Maggie, she probably went looking for Glenn first, which was fine. Beth probably would go looking for Rick first, after all.

Beth sat straight up at that fleeting thought, before she decided that was a rabbit hole she didn't want to go down.

Instead, Beth stood quickly and began packing for sunrise. It was both fortuitous and heartbreaking that they had anything to pack at all. Beth tried not to think about the fact that Rick had found a journal that clearly had belonged to a child. She found two large hiking backpacks, and filled them with all they could hold. Blankets, lighters, two tents, food… everything she could think of. She didn't look forward to trekking through the woods with what felt like a 30 pound pack, but the alternative was most likely succumbing to the elements, which was of course, even less attractive.

Beth effectively put her mind to sleep doing work until the sun started to peak out over the trees, and she was faced with an unfortunate task. Beth had to wake up Rick Grimes once again.

I was trying to bring a little levity this chapter, I think Beth and Rick needed it, and of course the story needed it as well. Hopefully it made you guys smile a little, haha. I also think having a little bit of Beth's perspective was a big deal this chapter, knowing where her head is. She'll most likely get a big chunk of the next chapter too. I'm trying to split it evenly, so you're never wondering, but I'll admit its a little more natural for me to write in Rick's voice. Which is weird, as I'm not a middle aged man. But I digress.

I want to thank all my reviewers, especially my faithful ones, Emma, Kaylah, and daydreamer particularly. Thanks again for reading!