"Man, I can't believe the weekend flew by just like that." Marcel groaned, stretching as the group began their final walk away from the convention center for the year. "Another PAX East over."

"On the bright side, this year was pretty eventful. Even more people attended compared to the past years, the crowd at our fan meet-up was bigger than the past years, and we got to meet Jonathan for the first time in person." Brock cajoled, gently patting Marcel's back. "It's a pretty big step up from the last time."

"It's exactly why it sucks now that it's ended," Marcel argued. "All that fun ended way too soon. I wish I could stay here longer. You guys just don't feel the pain because you guys are all going back to your girlfriends. I'm going back to missing my girl."

Craig cleared his throat, and Marcel rolled his eyes. "Okay, most of you guys are going back to your girlfriends. But even then, not having one is better than having one and not getting to see her."

"Aw," Craig slung his arm around Marcel. "Come on, someday it'll all work out and you'll get to see her again. And I'll be the only one dating my hand."

"Ew, get that away from me!" Marcel flinched and pushed Craig's arm off his shoulders in mock disgust. "Don't touch me with that."

Evan laughed softly and gently patted Marcel's shoulder comfortingly. "It's okay. I'm pretty much going to be alone after I go back too, so if you ever find the house too quiet, you can always call me up for a game. I'd be willing to share the time with another lonely guy."

"That sounds wrong." Marcel made a face.

"You know what I mean."

"Yes, I do, but you're not the only other single guy in this group, so don't make it sound like it's a date between the two of us. For all we know, Jonathan is going to spend his time at home all alone too. Go share your time with that lonely guy."

Evan peered over his shoulder, stealing a quick glance at the small hooded figure trailing behind them, seemingly consumed in his own world of thoughts. "No," He said slowly. "I don't think he'd like that."

"So what makes you think I'd like that, huh?" Marcel challenged, raising a brow in amusement. "I don't need your pity party, dude. I'll live even if she's not here with me all the time. It's not like Skype doesn't exist. It just kind of sucks not having her with me physically, and you can't do anything to fix that, because you guys are you guys and she's… her. Your kindness is appreciated, but really, I'd really just like to have either her or nobody."

"Whatever you say, dude. As long as you're happy." Evan shrugged.

"Dude, I am happy. Happy that I have friends that care enough to say gay as fuck shit to me, happy that I'm doing what I want. I'll just be really, really happy, like the happiest man on earth, if she's around. She completes my world, man. I'm happy, but I'm not complete without her around."

Evan peeked at Jonathan from the corners of his eyes and let out a soft, distracted sigh. "I get what you mean."

"Anyway, on to something less serious. Luke, you were saying something about some mountain cottage…?" Marcel diverted the subject abruptly.

"Oh, yeah. Jonathan's got a pretty sick mountain cabin recently –"

"Your gift," Jonathan interjected from behind the group.

"Whatever. I might've plotted with his parents and some people to make that happen, but he's got a pretty sick cabin in the mountains recently. Great view, and the breeze there is great in the morning too. I just thought it'd be great if you guys got a chance to spend a weekend there or somethin'. Unless Jonathan here doesn't want you guys around."

Luke peered over his shoulder behind him, and Jonathan said after a pause – "What? I'm not objecting to anything."

"Then it's settled. All of us in the mountains one of these days, all together."

"When, though?" Evan queried. "I mean – I've got some stuff to settle back at L.A., so I'm out for a bit."

"That's fine. I was thinking around Jonathan's birthday, actually. So we all get to celebrate it with him."

"What?!" Jonathan piped up, indignant as he began to catch up with the group. "Dude, I told you before, I don't need a celebration for my birthday."

"Yeah, yeah, you always say that and then you have a great time." Luke rolled his eyes and slung his arm around Jonathan. "Face it, the only thing you don't like about your birthday is the fact that you're gettin' older. All that complainin' about the celebrations and it's only this one small thing that bothers you to hell."

Jonathan pouted slightly. "There's nothing good about being old."

"It doesn't matter, does it?" Brock asked quizzically. "I mean… me, Lui and Luke are all older than you guys but I don't think any of us have felt any older than you guys. Heck, I barely feel any older than Mini."

"It's not that," Jonathan replied. "It's just that… time passes so fast. Life is just flashing by. It's gone before you know it."

A thoughtful silence fell upon the group. Nobody had anything else to say – there was nothing to discuss, for it was a fact that they all knew was true.

Craig was the first to break the silence. He spoke, awkwardness apparent in his voice – "Well… I guess that's why we do what we want, right? YouTube, our lives right now… it's because life is so short, so we've got to live the way we want… right?"

"Yeah," Evan laughed softly in agreement. "And I'm glad I'm doing it with all of you guys. Seriously. I'm nothing without all of you. You guys make my life, in one way or another."

Evan stepped into the cool of the arrival hall of the airport, a small suitcase rattling away behind him as he strutted through the crowd of people waiting at the gates with signs and phones in their hands. He frowned as he looked through the thick crowd for a face – where is he?

Luke was nowhere to be found. There was not a single sign of the tall bearded man anywhere, and there was nobody calling out for him nor a sign with his name written on it. Luke was simply not there, even though the man had promised everyone months back at PAX East that he would pick them up in separate groups to get to their little holiday getaway in the mountains.

Where the hell is he?

Defeated, Evan reached into his pockets for his phone. When he finally turned the device on, a flurry of messages and notifications came in, and his phone buzzed furiously in his hand as if for desperate attention.

The first of what seemed like a billion messages came from Luke – "Hey dude, I can't pick you up at the airport. Something cropped up with the girlfriend and I can't be there at the airport at the moment. I've asked Jonathan to pick you up so he should be there. Unless he died or is still being a sleeping god or something."

Evan frowned, and began to scroll through his other messages. Countless messages from various sources later, the first message from Jonathan appeared – "Have you landed yet?"

A few messages down, another message from Jonathan appeared on his screen. "Luke told me to pick you up, but I don't see you. I've even double-checked the flight time with him. Where are you?"

Another few messages down – "I don't see you. I don't see the point in continuing the message you if your phone is turned off. I tried calling you and I got sent to your voicemail straight off the bat. I give up, I'll be waiting for you somewhere at the arrival gates."

A few more messages down – "Change of plan, there are way too many people at the gates. Call me when you're here and finally see this, I'll be somewhere near."

Evan spun around on the spot, his eyes scanning through the throngs of people surrounding him, searching for the mesmerizing blue that was also nowhere to be found. It took a moment of searching around before he spotted a figure slumped behind a pillar, with a familiar hand holding a phone, tapping away at the screen rapidly with a thumb. Evan unlocked his phone, uncertain, and dialed for Jonathan.

The call connected quickly, and the figure drew the phone to his face, hand vanishing out of sight behind the pillar.

"Evan?" Jonathan asked, anxiousness coloring his tone. "Where in the world are you? I've been trying to reach you for the past – I don't know, forever."

Evan began walking towards the pillar, footsteps speeding up with each step that he took. "Well…I only just turned my phone on. I think I see you."

The figure behind the pillar straightened up, coming back into Evan's view. He watched as Jonathan held the phone closer to his ear and looked around for a moment, confused. "Where?"

He closed in onto Jonathan, mere inches behind him –

"Behind you."

Jonathan swung around instantly, eyes wide with a confused wonder. The blue in his eyes were brighter than ever under the intense light of the airport, and the white of the light created little glassy shimmers in the beautiful blues. A small shocked gasp escaped his lips as he saw Evan just in front of him, just a little too close. Within Evan's chest, he felt his heart take off, beating a little faster, a little harder for the man before him. How adorable.

"Uh, hi." Evan began with a small wave. "It's been some time since I've been here. Kind of weird now that I'm back after the… well, the last time."

Jonathan winced slightly at the memory. "Yeah. The last time you were here. With Sarah."

"And now I'm back on my own. God, it's weird even talking about it. Can we change the subject?" Damn it.

"Luke had better pay me for this. This was his job!" Jonathan groused as he led Evan away from the arrival area. "And he was the one that invited everybody. I mean – I don't have a problem with this, but if he's going to do this, then he shouldn't be throwing his job to me, am I right?"

"Yep." Evan nodded in agreement. "He's at fault."

"I knew it. You'll have to tell him that." Jonathan grabbed at the air before him triumphantly. "Anyway, because Luke is an idiot, he probably didn't stock the place with food, so we'll have to go pick up some at one of the restaurants around here. I hope you're fine with meatloaf?"

"Yeah. Why?"

He watched as Jonathan licked his lips. "We're gonna get some of my favorite meatloaf."

Moments later, they were in Jonathan's car, an odd, offbeat silence resuming between them. Evan had rarely run out of things to say around Jonathan, and the unusual silence that consumed them both was a first for him. It made him uncomfortable in every way. He felt obliged to talk, to make a conversation happened, yet he felt as though nothing would come of it, as the distance between him and Jonathan widened.

"Uh… so… how are you these days?" Evan started awkwardly. "I mean… Have you been well?"

Jonathan drove on, not looking away from the road. "Fine, fine. Therapy's done, and the doctors have pretty much cleared me now. Fell sick again a few weeks back, but I'm good now, too. I just have to remind myself not to scream so much for now. Otherwise, I'm great. You?"

"Not much either. Moved out of my apartment and have been crashing at a friend's place for the past couple of weeks. It's a little weird, but I'll get used to it, just like how I got used to L.A. after I moved from Canada." Evan frowned slightly at Jonathan, and added, "You really should take care of yourself better, you know. You get sick more often than a normal person does."

"I do," Jonathan retorted. "I take care of myself perfectly fine, thank you very much. I'm just a lot more prone to the occasional sore throat."

"'Occasional' is what you call it? Sure thing." Evan replied. "How's everything else, though?"

"What do you – oh, right." Jonathan gripped the driving wheel a little tighter, his knuckles turning white from the force. There was a strain in his voice as he spoke again, as though there it was a nasty topic to talk about.

"Testified against Eric recently. Absolutely amazing experience. Won't ever forget that look on his face when he saw me again." Jonathan managed a nervous laugh.

"Dude…" Evan began, concerned.

"No, I'm fine. I'm just really glad I don't have to see him again for a while, hopefully a really long while." Jonathan breathed, his voice shaky. "It's just… difficult to look at his face and not think of what happened. And I thought I got over it all a long time ago."

In that moment, Evan felt a strong urge to reach over to Jonathan, to make contact with the man so far out there, and to touch him, to make Jonathan feel less alone and less afraid. He wanted so much for Jonathan to be fine, and he wished he could hold Jonathan's hand, ease the steadily whitening knuckles on the steering wheel and whisper softly into Jonathan's ear that everything was all fine, that Eric could not touch him now.

But no matter what he felt, there was always a distance between him and Jonathan, a rift that seemed impassable, and a gap that he could not bridge alone. Jonathan was right next to him, yet he seemed so far away, lost to him. Defeated, Evan let out a small sigh.

"Don't feel sorry for me, Evan." Jonathan said in a small voice. "Don't."

"I'm not… it's just… I wish I could help you. I wish I could do something more, especially after all that's happened, especially after the only thing I've done to help you in that area is to break you further."

Jonathan glanced over at Evan for a split second before returning his eyes to the road. "You've done a lot more for me than you thought, Evan."

"I didn't do anything. I just left you to rot when you needed me the most."

"Evan… just… don't blame yourself. I don't hate you, I can't. I told you before. So please… don't hate yourself if I don't."

After a short pause, Jonathan spoke again, this time in a higher, more joyful tone. "Anyway, this restaurant they're going to makes some killer meatloaf. Place has been there for nearly 20 years and I swear the taste hasn't changed a single bit. It used to be one of the go-to places my dad would bring the family to every once in a while when he got a bonus in his paycheck."

Jonathan sighed, nostalgia tinkling away in his voice. "My family would have little feasts there. My sister used to fight me for the mash, too."

Evan chuckled softly. "I can't imagine."

"Her fighting me for the mash or me fighting?" Jonathan asked jokingly.

"You as a kid." Evan smiled at him. How adorable he must've been. "Well, and both of that, actually, now that you mention it."

"Wow. You think I didn't get into fights as a kid?"

"No, I just didn't think you'd fight over mash." Evan lied smoothly. Upon seeing the disbelieving look on Jonathan's face, however, he gave in –

"Okay, fine, I thought you didn't. You kind of… don't seem like you'd have been able to hold up in one."

Jonathan made a face. "I never did. Hold my own, that is. I'd be the one beaten up. But that doesn't mean I never got into fights."

"Figured, anyway. You'd be too good to beat someone else up."

"Fuck you. Anyway, Luke was pretty skeptical of it until he had it the first time. He got converted pretty hard. I think he's addicted now, so I think he'll be really glad when he sees that we're bringing that to the party."

"Is it really that good?" Evan raised an eyebrow.

"It is. Don't even try to doubt it. You'll love it. It'll knock you off your feet when you try it. Anyway, we're here."

They pulled over by a family restaurant, the exterior minimalistic and simple. Through the glass windows, however, Evan could make out extremely homely decorations and furnishings. The restaurant was packed despite the time of the day, where the sun hung high in the sky and blazed down on the earth, scorching it and its inhabitants. As they entered, the restaurant was abuzz, with people talking at the top of their voices. Jonathan gave Evan a triumphant smirk, as if to say – "I told you so."

"Oh my, if it isn't my dear sweet pea," a short, dark-skinned elderly lady called out from the far end of a counter. "How're you doin'?"

She lumbered over, taking Jonathan into a tight, motherly embrace. "I haven't seen you in a long time. You've lost so much weight, look!" She grabbed at Jonathan's wrist and arms, pinching away gently at it. Jonathan could only smile sheepishly at her.

"I'm fine, Mrs. V."

She tutted disapprovingly. "You gotta come here more often, you know. I keep wonderin' if you're okay, and then you come back skinny as a beanpole. And who's this fine young man you brought with ya?"

Evan felt her deep, dark eyes trace up and down his body, examining him from head to toe.

"He's just… a friend of mine."

"Really?" She raised an eyebrow. "Well, he's a good lookin' boy. Nicely built, as well, just like how you should be. You're too skinny for your own good. Even that other boy that you bring in has some meat on his bones."

"Uh, thanks." Evan beamed slightly at her.

She returned his smile whole-heartedly, sincerity shining through her every feature. "The usual, my dear?"

Jonathan nodded – "The usual. Take-away, though, we're going up the mountains to meet up with some friends."

"Alright, sweet pea. Do you two want a couple of bagels to hold you both down on the way up?"

Jonathan looked at Evan for a second, before answering, "Actually, sure. A bagel sounds good."

She shot a crooked smile at him. "I knew you couldn't resist. I'll go tell the kitchen."

She hobbled into the back of the compound with an air of authority, and Evan could swore he heard loud commands being issued in the kitchen. He glanced over at Jonathan, who had taken a seat by the counter in wait for the food.

"You seem to know her well," Evan commented as he slid down on the seat beside him.

"I've been here since I was a kid, remember? And… well… she remembers her regulars well. She doesn't remember their names, but she sure as hell remembers their faces and what they like. That's also part of what keeps the business here booming. She's always so personable and she makes everyone feel like they're home here. That and the food's really good. And so everyone keeps coming back."

"Like YouTube." Evan laughed softly. "And you're not only a fan of her content, you're a fan of her."

"You'd be a fan of her too if you've stuck around long enough. And the food, Evan, don't tell me you're still doubting that. I'm hungry just thinking of it."

"You get hungry just about over anything, even listening to Nogla eat a banana."

Jonathan narrowed his eyes dangerously at him just as the proprietor came strolling back with two small paper bags in her hands. Her gaze was curious, with a hint of suspicion about her, as though she was examining the both of them, piecing things together bit by bit.

"Here's the bagels, sweetie. The meatloaf's goin' but it shouldn't be too long before it comes outta the oven."

"Thanks, Mrs. V." Jonathan reached for his wallet, only for the elderly lady to protest.

"No, no – don't pay me directly, boy. I'll just end up forgettin' to put it in the till. The old brain ain't as young as it was twenty years back when you first came 'round. Give it to Matilda at the cashier."

Jonathan paused, and slid off the chair to pay at the cashier. The elderly lady closed in on Evan, her eyes searching deep within Evan's as though looking for an answer. Evan shifted uncomfortably under her gaze, and cleared his throat loudly.

"He likes you, you know that?" She said in a low voice. "All these years I ain't ever seen that boy look at anyone like that. That one boy ten years ago came close, but you… you're somethin' special to him. I ain't ever seen anythin' like that from him before. But then the way he acts around you is so different, you know that? Like he doesn't want to get too close. So I'm askin' you, what's wrong with you two?"

Evan sighed. "I don't know…I wish I knew. It's just… so many things have happened between us. I've hurt him before, and he says he doesn't hate me… but sometimes it just doesn't feel that way."

"But you like him. More than anythin'." She cooed gently, her maternal feelings apparent. "You like to hide, but I've seen people. You can't hide from me. You like him and you wanna tell him. Now, I don't know what's been goin' on between you two, but you two need a good talk."

"Everybody says that. But I can never find a chance to talk to him properly. We're either surrounded by friends or I chimp out at the last moment."

"My boy," She said as she lay a hand over his, "Chances don't come easily. If you can't find them, make 'em. He's probably waiting for a chance, too. If none of you take it in your hands to make a chance happen, then you'll both miss it forever."

She looked over to where Jonathan was standing by the cashier, her eyes glimmering. "I've almost watched him grow up. He's a sweet boy, you know? And you look like a good boy, too, someone reliable. I don't want him to go and get hurt, and I don't wanna see the two of you sufferin' like that. If something's broken, fix it. Take every chance you got, make every chance you can, and show him how you feel. And if I'm not wrong, believe me, I'm almost never wrong, he feels the same way too."

Evan opened his mouth and shut it a few times, not knowing what to say. He wished he could believe her fully. He wished he could outright tell Jonathan how he felt, and he wished that he knew for certain that Jonathan felt the same way – but he couldn't. Deep inside, the conflict deepened.

"You don't believe me – you don't want to. That's fine," She patted his hand gently. "You will soon. I know you're scared, and believe me, that's a huge part of bein' in love. You're lookin' for ways for him to be happy, and as much as you love him, you don't think you're the one to make him happy, after whatever's happened. But the boy's no liar. If he says he doesn't hate you, he doesn't. If he's hidin' his feelings from you, he can't hide long. If you ain't gonna believe me, at least believe him."

Evan looked down at their hands and sighed. He was scared, hesitant to hear and believe something that was so ideal for him.

"What're you two talking about?" Jonathan's voice invaded his thoughts, and he quickly glanced up at the beautiful man, his heart skipping a beat as the wonder that was Jonathan filled his view. Through the buzz, he heard a soft chuckle from the elderly woman as she released his hands.

"Oh, nothin' much, sweet pea. I'll think the kitchen should be done with the food now, I'll go and check in on 'em." She said dismissively as she walked away back into the kitchen, leaving Jonathan and Evan to themselves.

"Nothing?" Jonathan asked incredulously. "That seemed like a really intense talk."

"What do you want us to talk about then? You?"

"I'd think you guys were gossiping about me behind my back."

"You make me sound like a gossipmonger." Evan shot back at Jonathan.

"You probably are. God knows what you've been telling her. She loves a good true story. It's something that comes with age. It's gotten to the point that she's grabbing onto whoever she can find for a chat these days, so I won't be surprised if you spilled."

"You're being paranoid. Go pick up the food, I think it's ready."

Jonathan stuck his tongue out at him and slid off the chair once more to collect the food from the proprietor, who emerged from the plain-looking kitchen with a bag in her hands. After a short moment's of consideration, Evan slid off the chair as well and joined Jonathan at the other end of the counter, his heart beating a little faster as he got closer to the man.

The lady thrust the bag into Jonathan's hands. "Now, don't wait too long to eat it. And make sure you eat lots, you're a bag of bones. Are you going to see that friend of yours… your 'brother' later?"

Jonathan nodded slowly, to which she continued – "Well then tell him to come on down soon. I haven't seen that boy in forever. And that girl of his – they should get married soon. They're a pretty pair. He won't listen to me, but he might listen to you."

"Nah, I don't think Luke will listen to me either. He's taking things one step at a time. If he wants to keep things this way, let him keep things this way. I don't think anyone can make him do anything he doesn't want to, not even me."

The elderly woman shrugged. "I'm just sayin'. And you, too, you gotta take whatever comes your way, alright? I don't wanna see you stay lonely like that."

"I'm not lonely, Mrs. V." Jonathan assured in a less than convincing tone.

"Sure you aren't." The lady rolled her eyes, and turned to Evan. "And you, take care of this boy, alright? He doesn't like me sayin' this because he thinks he can take care of himself –"

"I can," Jonathan interrupted sharply.

" – But he needs a bit more care than most other people, so keep an eye on him, will ya? And remember what I said. Now off with you both! I gotta business to run."

With a flick of her hand, she shooed them away, and Evan and Jonathan were both soon out in the heat, walking towards the car with the food in their hands. Evan took a bit into his bagel, relishing the savory taste of the pastry in his mouth.

"You're right," he admitted. "It's actually really good."

Jonathan made a small muffled chortle of victory as he bit into his own bagel. "Told you so."

"Hey, I didn't knock it before I tried it. I just said you get hungry over pretty much anything involving food."

"And I didn't say you were knocking it. I'm just saying I told you so." Jonathan replied as he licked his lips, cleaning a small little crumb off the bottom of his lip. Evan felt a little piece of his heart get set on fire as he watched, and he ate, distracted. A soft giggle from Jonathan shook him from his trance, and he blinked stupidly for a moment.

"What?" Evan asked.

Jonathan reached out to him and gently flicked a few crumbs from the sides of Evan's mouth. "And you complain that I'm a messy eater."

"When did I...? Oh." The memory from several months back came flooding into Evan's mind, with Evan dabbing away at the corners of Jonathan's lips with a napkin in a diner. "You're the messiest eater I've ever seen since Nogla…"

"There you go again," Jonathan chided as he reached out to clean the other side of Evan's mouth. As he did, Evan felt a flutter in his chest – the feeling of sheer excitement and happiness racing about within him. He liked the feeling of Jonathan's soft skin against his, and he relished each and every gentle brush that he could feel. The heat was beginning to gather in his face, and he could almost feel the red flood into his cheeks.

Jonathan drew back, his fingers lingering for a small moment before it curled back into a tight ball of restraint. His gaze faltered, and Evan saw a small flame die out in his eyes as Jonathan turned away, quickly shifting and moving into the car. Evan followed after him, a dull ache coming and going as he felt the distance open up between them once more.

The drive up the mountains was relatively quiet. After a long moment of fighting himself on whether to come up with something to talk about, Evan resigned himself to staring out of the window and watching the countless green trees with the occasional red and orange pass by him. In the distance, the sun shone through the clouds, painting a soft yellow over the bright greens, contrasting with the darker, heavier olives of the trees in the distance that were clouded over by fog. It was as though he was watching a painting come to life as the colors shifted with the movements of the clouds in the wind, and Evan was drawn in by the serene beauty that was before him. More than once, he let out a soft, awe-filled gasp, a reaction that was followed by a hearty chuckle of his companion on the journey.

"You grew up here." Evan breathed softly as he watched the clouds shift over another patch of trees, the colors changing underneath it.

"Sort of."

"It's beautiful."

"You make it sound like you haven't ever seen mountains even back in Canada before."

"They're always so snowy and white. The colors are so beautiful here."

"I know. It's always really calming to look at them. You look like me when I was a kid. My face would be plastered to the window like what you're doing now." Jonathan sighed. "Kind of nostalgic, actually."

Evan looked back outside of the windows. "It's really pretty." Just like you.

"I know," Jonathan repeated. "It gets better when we're closer to the top."

Evan's gaze never left the breathtaking scenery as they ascended up the mountain. The fog seemed to grow a little thicker and the trees seemed to grow farther away, and the colors seemed to deepen and darken with distance.

Evan was still immensely mesmerized by the sight as they finally pulled over by the cabin. Dazed, he got out of the car, and took a deep breath, the fresh, clean scent in the air filling him. It was an immensely refreshing experience to be surrounded by nature instead of the hustle and bustle of city life back in Los Angeles.

"Come on in," Jonathan invited, holding the door wide open as Evan trudged in slowly with his bag. "This is weird."

"Huh?" Evan turned towards him, confused.

"Luke isn't here. He said he'd be here with the guys by the time we'd finished getting all the stuff."

"It's still early. Maybe there was a hold-up at the airport, don't think too much about it. The place looks great, by the way."

Jonathan frowned, unconvinced. "Whatever it is, he's taking forever. I don't even know what he's so caught up with that he needs to pass his job over to me."

"He mentioned something about his girlfriend. I don't know what, exactly, but I suppose there's something he had to attend to with her."

The furrows on Jonathan's brow deepened. "Hannah seemed fine when I saw her earlier. She even told me to have fun."

"Oh." Evan answered simply, not quite understanding the situation. "I don't know. Maybe something happened to her suddenly after you saw her. Either way, you shouldn't worry too much. You've got to trust Luke on this one."

Jonathan sidled over to the fridge and opened it, still frowning. "It's not that I don't trust him. It's just that it's so unlike him to promise something and not follow up on it. He doesn't ever do it unless there's something seriously wrong. Anyway, do you want a –"

Jonathan stopped mid-sentence and stared into the fridge.

"What?" Evan asked, moving over to stand beside him.

"Someone's stocked the fridge." Jonathan pointed out. "We've only left a few bottles of water behind in here the last time we were here. I don't remember most of the things in here being here before."

"Come to think of it," Jonathan said after a pause, looking around, "This place looks almost insanely clean, and I haven't been here in ages."

Evan shrugged. "Luke has the keys, right? He might've just tidied the place in preparation for today. You're worrying yourself too much over nothing."

"I don't know. This feels really weird."

"Either way," Evan stretched lazily, "I just want to take a nice long shower and have a bit of a rest before the rest arrive. I'd expect them to hog the showers what with the long flights and everything, so I want to at least get that done before anything else happens."

"Come upstairs, then." Jonathan beckoned, and the two made their way to the second floor of the cabin. He pointed towards the larger of two rooms, and instructed –

"Use the bathroom in this one. It's larger and the water heats up much faster. Plus I'm pretty sure the bathtub is bigger."

"Geez," Evan laughed as he settled his bag down by the bathroom doorway, "Did you take a shower in all the bathrooms in this place?"

As he rummaged through his bag for his shower items, he saw Jonathan flush from the corner of his eyes. "Hey… I've got to try and see which one I like better. Besides… I own this place, I get to do whatever I want, wherever I want."

Evan let out a soft, low chuckle. "Sure thing. Just don't go streaking while we're here because of that. Or crawling into someone else's bed over the weekend."

He caught a glimpse of a deepening red. "I – I won't – why would I?" Jonathan barely managed to stammer out. "I like this bed, it's nice and the silk sheets are soft and comfy anyway!"

"I don't know, maybe you'd get a little lonely at night?" Evan joked, before turning slightly serious. "Why're you so uptight anyway? We used to joke about these sort of stuff all the time." We used to be so close, close enough to talk about just about everything under the sun. Now you're just running hot and cold on me, being so adorable and drawing me in and then pushing me away so hard. Why, Jonathan?

Evan's words were left unsaid, and he swallowed them back into the depths of his chest. The temptation of the ritual he had always performed before was growing greater – his chest felt like it was filled with hot air, and he was about to burst. He needed to empty his feelings he always had done every morning in the shower before. It was such a tempting choice to take, such an easy way out.

He watched as Jonathan bit the inside of his cheek. "I don't know. I think I'm losing my nerves over having everybody over for the first time."

That's not it. That's definitely not it.

"After all," Jonathan continued, the expression of his face warping under the strain of the dishonesty, "It's only been, what, a few months since I first saw all of the guys. And it was only for a few days, too. It's hard not to freak out."

Evan sighed. You've picked up one of my worst traits, one of my worst habits that I'm trying so hard to throw away.

"Anyway," Jonathan said, a practiced, false smile plastered onto his face. "Go take your bath before they all come and mess the place up. Go!"

Jonathan pushed Evan into the bathroom and shut the door behind him with a resounding click.

Evan sighed once more. He had seen the look in Jonathan's eyes – a look that spoke an entirely different story than what his face had tried to express. Evan knew the look all too well. I make that look. I make that look whenever I lied, whenever I had to lie to save myself. Whenever I had to pretend that something wasn't true, or was true, just so someone else would smile.

Evan undressed himself, preparing himself for a ritual that he was so familiar with. Whilst he had expected a slight weight to be lifted off him as he slid the fabric off his body, he experienced no such relief. Frowning slightly, he brushed the oddness aside and stepped into the shower, his body heavy and weary.

Even as the water came down upon his body, soaking through his hair and dripping down every inch of his skin, the relief did not come, and the emotions that he sought to through away and abandon did not drain away. It was as though he could not do so any longer, no matter how hard he tried to ignore his feelings, no matter how much he tried to make them go away.

What did not help him was how much Jonathan kept cropping up in his thoughts, practically consuming his mind. He could not seem to think of anything else but Jonathan. Everything from the way he looked when he ate – how adorable – and the way he got flustered – how cute – to the way he was quiet and thoughtful, racking his brains over a problem that Evan could probably easily solve. The way he warmed up to Evan and joked with him almost just like always, and the way he grew cold and distant, as though he was trying to avoid Evan right there and then.

And then that damn lying smile of his, full of deception and lies.

I don't know what you're trying to hide. I don't know why you're lying. I don't understand any of this anymore. You said you don't hate me, but you haven't been acting quite like you really don't. Do you hate me, Jonathan?

He could almost hear Jonathan's voice in his head. "No, I don't, I can't hate you." The sad puppy-eyed expression he'd carry would solidify the deal and make Evan believe him, until the distance between them both drew once more to painful proportions, and Evan would begin to doubt his words once more.

Evan took a deep breath as he lathered himself up with soap, scrubbing himself, hoping to wash the slate clean. The burgeoning emotions within him flowed more intensely than ever with continued thoughts of the man, and he wondered why the feelings were not fading as they should have. He would usually be much calmer, much emptier by now, but his head was filled with Jonathan.

It was not long before he gave up trying to do something that was becoming clearly impossible. He quickly rinsed off the soapy mixture on his body, hissing as the hot water hit has skin, and quickly got out of the shower, drying himself up. He inhaled deeply and exhaled, preparing to meet Jonathan's eyes once more as he walked back out into the bedroom.

Jonathan was sitting on the bed, legs folded to his chest and silky bedsheets creasing underneath his weight. He had a piece of paper in his hands, the edges crumpling and creasing furiously under his tight grasp. On his face was a look that Evan had never seen before, a mixture between sheer annoyance and despair.

"What's wrong?" Evan asked as he approached his bag once more, digging through a mound of cottony fabric for appropriate clothes.

"He's not coming." Jonathan seethed through clenched teeth. "This was all a set-up."

Evan gaped for a moment. "What are you talking about?"

Jonathan held the note out to him, creases forming in his brow. "Just look at this."

Evan strode across the room to Jonathan and plucked the note out of his fingers, goosebumps raising as the cold air hit his wet skin. His eyes scanned across the page, taking each and every word in Luke's hand –

"Jonathan (or Evan, whichever one of you fucks is reading this right now),

By now I think you guys should have realized that we're taking forever to come. That's because we're not coming. There's no point waiting for us, because there was no plan to have some party in the mountains. The plan isn't even mine alone. All of us planned this together – to have you both together in a place alone without us or anybody else around to disturb you two.

Believe me, none of us wanted to trick you two like that. It's a stupid plan that would've failed from the start if anything went even slightly wrong, but we counted on the problems that you two were having to distract you, and if you're reading this, then I'm pretty sure that worked out.

But yes, you two have problems. Big problems. You guys don't have any idea how you guys looked like at PAX together. That wasn't friendship at all, that was a fucking cat and mouse game. It fucking sucked to watch you guys go at it. One moment you guys are all nice and happy with each other, another moment you guys are fucking acting like two awkward people who just met. And you two have been friends for years. I can't fucking believe this is happening because of some shit that happened between you two on New Year's Eve.

And when we told you guys to talk it out? It never happened. We knew it'd never happen while we're all around you guys at PAX, so when you guys decided to leave the bar on your own, drunk as fuck, we counted on that opportunity for you guys to fix whatever's broken between you two. But it never fucking happened, and you two just came back the next day going about that back and forth shit again. It's fucking tiring. We had to do something, or you two would just be doing that again and again and again until you guys really stop being friends for real.

God, we could try to keep convincing you guys that neither of you hate each other or anything like that you guys still wouldn't believe us. You guys needed to talk, badly. And you guys wouldn't, at least not at PAX. So we decided to make you guys talk. If you guys didn't want to make use of your chances to trash it all out and fix your friendship, then we were going to step in and make you guys do it properly.

So here we are. None of us are going to be here in the mountains with you two. Nobody is going to hear whatever the both of you have to say to each other and nobody is going to care if you two decide to pull punches. Hell, we don't fucking care if you guys beat each other up into pulp. Just fix whatever shit you guys have with each other already. Bring Evan and Jonathan back. We want them back.

Fight it out or whatever. I don't care. Just know that we'll all be waiting for you guys below to come back to us. Whether you guys come back to us hurt or unhurt, just make sure you two come back to us as real friends, true friends or stronger.

Love from all of us.

P.S. Hannah and I have cleaned the place up. The cupboards are filled with clean towels and there should be extra blankets if you guys need them in there too. I've also filled the fridge with groceries and drinks. Hannah says there's a surprise for you guys in the cupboard in the big bedroom, but whatever. Bring down the extra groceries if there's any leftover. I don't want to have more than we need once you guys join us down here.

P.P.S. Don't you guys dare to cop out of this. If we find that you guys are faking some shit when you come back down, we're sending you straight back up and locking you guys in."

Evan stared at the note for a moment, before returning his gaze to Jonathan. "I… Wow."

"I knew there was something wrong. I knew it." Jonathan growled. "God damn it. I fucking hate Luke."

He sighed softly, the pretty features on his face easing. "I'm sorry you had to get dragged into this. You had to fly all the way here just because they wanted to do this stupid shit."

"It… isn't stupid at all." Evan said slowly, his eyes peering deep into the deep blues. "He's right. We need to talk."

Jonathan tore his eyes away from Evan's and looked away at his feet, a disparaging chuckle escaping his lips. "No, we don't. We're perfectly fine. We're friends, right? We've always been."

"Jonathan..." Evan pleaded, almost whining. "Don't do this. Something's changed between us. I feel it and I know you feel it too. So please… we need to talk. Please talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

He could have sunk to his knees right there and then just so he could look at Jonathan and see the look in his eyes. He could have gotten on his knees and begged just so Jonathan would say something to him, to let him know how he felt.

"Please talk to me. You haven't told me how you felt since… since forever. You say you don't hate me… but… it's so hard to believe."

Jonathan stayed silent, staring at his feet and playing with the sheets of the bed. Evan slowly lowered himself to the ground, his knees touching the wooden surface below, and he looked up slowly, fixating his eyes on Jonathan's sad and dreary eyes.

"Jonathan…" He begged softly. "You used to so full of things to talk about. You used to tell me everything. What's funny, what made you laugh. You used to tell me how you felt about things. What happened to us?"

"What if we just…ran out of things to talk about?" Jonathan said in a small voice, his voice straining to come out from his throat.

"We've never ran out of things to talk about. We haven't properly spoken to each other in months – and usually you'd spill the world to me even just after doing your own stuff for only a few days. It just feels like… you're avoiding me now."

A guilty look passed on Jonathan's face as he silently fiddled with the soft fabric of the bedsheets in his hands.

Evan sighed softly. "So it's true, then. You're avoiding me. You don't want to be my friend any longer –"

"It's not that!" Jonathan nearly shouted. "Don't… just let this be, please, Evan. I'm trying to… I'm trying to just be a good friend to you…"

The plea in Jonathan's voice tugged at Evan's heart heavily, each word dripping with misery, pain and desperation. His voice was breaking at every other word, chipping away at every solid ground that Evan could still stand on. He watched as a glimmer formed in Jonathan's eyes, as his eyes got fuller and wetter with each passing moment and each beat of the heart.

"You don't have to try, Jonathan, you know that. Why can't you talk to me…?"

"Do you think I want to do this?!" Jonathan half-yelled, the dam bursting and tears flowing. "Do you think I want this? Please, Evan, please stop. It's been absolute hell for me, it's been complete misery fighting everything I've known. I don't want to do this anymore!"

"Then talk about it and stop acting like a child!" Evan bit back, his voice rising. Everything was breaking apart. He could feel the oncoming flood of tears, his eyes stinging as they fought them. "Talk to me! Tell me what's going on! How do you expect me to know and understand and make you happy if you don't talk to me in the first place?!"

"I don't want you to make me happy!" Jonathan cried. "Just make yourself happy, why can't you do that? I'm trying to make everything normal for you, just so you'd be happy –"

"Why the fuck do you have to make me happy?!"

"Because I fucking love you, god damn it!" Jonathan burst out, unrestrained, his voice cracking. More tears spilled from the tender blue eyes like an uncontrollable waterfall. The moment Jonathan had realized what he said, the moment he heard the words spill out of his own mouth, his eyes widened, and a hand shot to his mouth.

In that moment, the rift between them began to close in. A bridge had formed, and all Evan had to do was to walk across it. Jonathan's outburst had cut the millions of ropes and strings that had restrained them both and had held them both apart for so long, and a soft warmth was spreading across Evan's chest. The knowledge that Jonathan felt exactly the same as Evan did was an intense relief, and Evan could see what he needed to do. The way forward was clear, and his own words were dancing on the tip of his tongue.

"I didn't…" Jonathan blubbered, sobbing harder than ever. "Oh, god… I've ruined it… I've ruined us…We were going to be friends…I've tried so hard…"

Evan slowly stood up, watching Jonathan cry pitifully. His heart ached at the sight of him, and he wanted to reach out to hold the man, to comfort him, to kiss him. There was little holding him back.

He sat down next to Jonathan on the bed, and gingerly took the man into his arms, feeling the hot tears on Jonathan's face meet his shoulder as he did.

"E-Evan…" Jonathan sobbed, his body shuddering with each small breath that he drew. "Don't… I…"

"Sssh…" Evan shushed, running his fingers through the dark mass of hair. "Don't cry anymore. It hurts my heart to see you cry like this. It aches to see your pretty face show that much pain."

"Evan…" Jonathan whispered once more, his voice hoarse and weak. "Don't… do this… You don't… you don't want me…"

Evan pulled Jonathan closer to his body and held him tighter, feeling the softness of the man's skin against his. Jonathan felt like a fragile bag of bones in his arms, threatening to shatter if hit in the right place. "Why wouldn't I want you? You're gorgeous. You see me for who I am, not for who I want to pretend to be. You're so pretty and it hurts not telling you that I love you."

"It… You told me… it'll never be me… so please, Evan... Don't…"

"No, Jonathan… listen. I was such a liar. You know that, so please… whatever I said to you before… it was probably the biggest lie I've ever had to tell you, that I probably ever had to tell myself." Evan wiped at the remnants of his tears. "I wanted so badly to make it real with a stupid lie. But I can't lie anymore, not to myself and definitely not to you. God, Jonathan, it is you. I've met the prettiest man that I could possibly ever meet and he's changed me. He made me less of a coward. He made me admit something I tried to hide for so long to myself."

He felt Jonathan shudder quietly in his arms, crying silently as he took in Evan's words.

"So… hear me out, Jonathan. Please." Evan took a deep breath before he released Jonathan slightly, and continued –

"I love you, I really do, and right now, I just want nothing more than to be with you. I want to hold you tight and tell you that everything is okay, until your tears dry and that pained expression on your face is replaced by a smile. I want to look into those pretty blue eyes of yours every day and see the happiness dancing in them, and I want to wake up to see those eyes of yours open sleepily. I want to see your beautiful eyes every single day, even if I go blind. I want to be able to hold you even when I'm old and frail and my arms can't even move anymore. I want to kiss you until I can't breathe, even when I'm weak and my breathing turns shallow. Above all, Jonathan… I just want to love you, from now on, after all these missed opportunities, until the end of our days. Is that too much to ask for…?"

He felt a slight shake of Jonathan's head in his arms, and he released Jonathan, taking in the man's beauty in its entirety. His eyes were bloodshot and his lips were swollen and perfectly red, and his skin was ghastly pale with jagged lines of tears streaked all across it. He hiccoughed slightly, no longer sobbing as intensely as he was moments before.

Evan drew closer, taking in Jonathan's scent. "You're so beautiful, do you know that? So pretty… and to think this idiot, this asshole in denial had to break such a pretty thing… twice. I nearly ruined our friendship twice."

"I…" Jonathan bit his lip, a small tinge of pink appearing on his cheeks. "I fueled it, Evan… I helped you to… nearly break us. I'm so sorry…"

Evan reached out to Jonathan's face, gently caressing his cheeks and thumbing his lips slightly. "It's not your fault."

He closed in on Jonathan, feeling Jonathan's breath on his skin.

"W-wait," Jonathan breathed, flustered. "I need to tell you something first."

"Hmm?" Evan hummed inquisitively as he stilled, their lips just inches away from each other's.

"I…" Jonathan began shyly. "I love you, Evan."

"And I love you too, Jonathan." Evan gave him a small smile, and erased the distance between them.

Their lips met gently, softly. It was a feeling that sent warmth rolling through every part of Evan's body, and it was a feeling that he treasured deeply. Jonathan's lips felt so perfect against his, and his skin was so soft against his. Every single bit of emotion that Evan had held back poured itself out in the kiss. Every waking moment that he had spent thinking of Jonathan, every bit of pain that he had felt for the man was worth more than everything else in the world in that one kiss. The moment was chaste, but it was perfect. He was in love with that man. They were in love with each other.

*gasp* Chapter 15 is finally here? Yes, after nearly 2 weeks, the penultimate chapter for Rule of the Heart is finally here! (Yes, the story is ending... but don't be sad!)It's a little short, but I have a surprise for you guys coming up, so stay tuned! I hope you enjoyed this chapter... as well as the surprise coming up! ;)

-delmin