April 30th, 1990
Dear Dairy,
Well, Daddy and Deacon met. It wasn't as horrible as I'd imagined it would be. Deacon wasn't comfortable with all of daddy's questions, but he handled it OK. I know daddy doesn't like Deacon, but he wasn't too awful tonight.
Deacon tries so hard, and I only love him more with every small effort he makes. He was adorable in dress clothes and his nice black boots at the country club. I know he was uncomfortable there, but he did it for me. He really loves me. He proves it in so many small ways every time we're together, and it means everything that he makes the effort.
Deacon and I also talked about his past and the criminal record. I don't think it's as bad as it seems. His drinking concerns me, but since we've met I haven't really seen him drink a lot. He says he's trying to be better for me and wants a future together.
I can't even put into words how happy hearing him talk about a "future" together makes me.
Earlier in the day…
"Where's daddy?" Rayna asked as she climbed into Tandy's Mercedes after school
"He had an important call to take. He asked me to pick you up?"
"What else did he have to say?" Rayna asked sarcastically
"He's worried about you? …and I am too! It's not like you to be so secretive, and sneak around the way you have been for the past couple months. What's going on, Rayna?" Tandy asked worried
"I'm sure daddy's already given you his version of events. Does mine really matter?" she snapped knowing Tandy would side with Lamar
"Rayna, you're my little sister. We used to be so close and talk about things. You can talk to me, you know? I promise it's between us. I won't say anything to daddy."
"Watty's been helping me pursue a music career. I've been singing at the Bluebird just like mama used to do on Thursdays."
"Mama's old friend Watty White?" Tandy asked
"Yeah, we've stayed in touch since mama's funeral. I never told daddy because he hates Watty, and he'd never approve of me singin at the Bluebird."
"Is that all? So, that's where you've been all those late nights?" Tandy asked clearly pressing for more information.
"Oh, I'm sure daddy told you about Deacon!" Rayna quipped
"Deacon? Is that your new friends name?" Tandy asked
"Is that what daddy's calling him?" Rayna laughed
"No, I mean, he knows you seem to have a new boyfriend."
"What did he REALLY say about that, Tandy?"
"Just that this Deacon doesn't seem like the best influence on an impressionable young girl, that's all."
"He doesn't know anything about Deacon! I knew he'd be judgmental and irrational. That's why I didn't tell him about Deacon."
"Well, honey, he kinda has a point about some of it. What decent guy keeps a young girl out till 4am? Please tell me you aren't sleeping with this guy?"
"You're just like daddy! You haven't even met Deacon, and you already assume the worst! …and for your information, NO, I haven't slept with him. It's not my choice. I would in a heartbeat! It's Deacon's choice to wait. He cares about me, Tandy." Rayna announced defiantly
"I'm not sure you know him as well as you think you do, Rayna."
"What is that supposed to mean? What do you know about Deacon?" Rayna snapped as Tandy pulled into the driveway
"Come inside. We need to sit down and talk." Tandy calmly explained
"About what?" Rayna snapped as she followed her older sister into the house
"Is that you, Tandy? I'll be right with you. Just finishing up a call." Lamar called from his home office
"uummm, Rayna…Daddy would like to talk about last night. Come back down here, Please?" Tandy asked as Rayna tried to slip upstairs to her room
"Fine, it's not like I can lock myself in my room. I don't have a door!" Rayna quipped sarcastically as she came back down the stairs
"I'll see if I can get daddy to lighten up a little, OK? I'm on your side." Tandy squeezed her younger sisters shoulder in support
"Have a seat, Rayna." Lamar motioned to the 2 chairs opposite his desk
"Feel like I'm about to be fired or reprimanded for bad performance." Rayna's sarcasm didn't amuse Lamar
"You're not helping yourself with smart ass remarks, young lady." Lamar calmly responded, cold and business like as always
"I know you've been singing at the Bluebird. I also know you've taken a liking to a boy named Deacon Claybourne. How much do you know about this kid, Rayna?" Lamar asked
"A lot! We've been dating a couple months."
"Oh and you know him so well after a couple months, huh?"
"Enough to know I love him, and nothing you say is going to change that!"
"Are you aware he has a criminal record?" Lamar asked throwing a report on his desk in front of Rayna
"If he does, I'm sure it's nothing too serious and it's been a long time since he's been in trouble, daddy." Rayna stammered unsure of what was in the report. Deacon had never mentioned a criminal record to her.
"He spent a few nights in jail in Jan for assault, Rayna! I wouldn't call that minor, and that's only a few months ago."
"I don't care! I'm sure there's a logical explanation for.."
"How about a logical explanation for all 14 times he's been arrested? Did you know he had his first DUI when he was 17? Second at 19?" Lamar asked cutting her off
"I'd rather ask him than read some report. I can't believe you ran a background check on Deacon, daddy!" Rayna retorted
"I have a right to know who my daughter is associating herself with. I'm only trying to protect you, darling. You're obviously making some bad choices lately."
"Rayna, you clearly don't know some things about Deacon. Maybe it would be best to step back, and take a look at things, take a break from him?" Tandy tried to intervene
"I DON'T WANT A BREAK FROM DEACON! I JUST HAD A WEEK AWAY FROM HIM. NOTHING CHANGED! I STILL LOVE HIM! THERE'S NOTHING IN THAT REPORT THAT WILL CHANGE THAT! Rayna yelled
"Look, sweetie…why don't we go to New York for a girls weekend? Take your mind off things? We'll make it a belated birthday trip." Tandy offered trying to smooth things over
"You're no better than daddy! What happened to "You're on My Side?"
"I am on your side, but you obviously don't know as much about Deacon as you thought you did."
"BOTH OF YOU NEED TO JUST BUTT OUT! I'M 18. I'M ALMOST DONE WITH SCHOOL. I KNOW WHAT I WANT, AND NEITHER OF YOU ARE GOING TO STOP ME! I WANT A CAREER IN MUSIC, AND DEACON IS PART OF THAT, AND SO MUCH MORE. I DON'T CARE WHAT SOME REPORT SAYS! I LOVE HIM!" Rayna yelled before running from the room in tears.
She'd been softly crying, face down on her bed for 30 minutes when Tandy came upstairs.
"Hey, I got daddy to lighten up a little. He's giving back your phone, and bedroom door. You can drive your car to school, but that's all. He wants the car in the driveway right after school. You're not grounded anymore, but you need to honor his curfew rules." Tandy softly said as she rubbed Rayna's back
"Thanks, Tandy. So I'm allowed to go out, he's just gonna make it hard for me to get anywhere, huh?" Rayna asked, sitting up
"Pretty much." Tandy smiled as she handed Rayna her keys
"Rayna, I am on your side, but you're gonna have to meet daddy half way on this and at least try to follow his rules. At least until you're out of school. You really don't need to be out till all hours of the night anyway."
"What about music and Deacon?"
"Well, you know daddy. He's not happy about either, but you're not grounded so I guess as long as you're home by 9 or 11 he'll deal with it. There is ONE other thing…he uuuhhmmm wants to meet Deacon."
"Oh I dunno, Tandy…"
"Well, he made a reservation for the 4 of us at the country club for dinner at 7."
"Deacon at the country club? I'm not sure he'll even agree to that."
"Well, I'll let you handle that part. I've got some calls to make. See ya at 7. I'm looking forward to meeting Deacon. Love you." Tandy kissed Rayna's cheek as she got up to leave
"Love you too, and thanks. It's horrible with daddy around here since you moved out. Thanks for comin over to help."
"Anytime you need help with daddy, I'm just a phone call away." Tandy replied as one of Lamar's staff showed up with Rayna's phone and door
Rayna took a deep breath as she dialed Deacon's number. She was a little surprised by the report her father sprung on her, but more concerned with Deacon and the country club.
"Hey…" Rayna said as a sleepy Deacon answered the phone
"This is a sweet voice to wake up to!" he groggily muttered, trying to wipe the sleep from his eyes
"I miss you."
"Miss you too, baby! So, you got your phone back?"
"Yeah, Tandy came over and helped kinda smooth things over with daddy."
"That's good, real good. I don't wanna cause problems in your family, Ray."
"I know. Would you like to meet daddy?" Rayna asked
"ahhh….sure, baby, if you think the times right and it'll help?" he hesitantly responded
"He made reservations for all of us at the country club for dinner at 7. Sooo…you'll come?" she asked hopeful
*********silence**********
"Deacon?"
"I dunno, Ray…the country clubs not really my kinda place."
"Please, babe? He's lightening up on me. I need to try to meet him half way and …."
"OK, for you…I'll be there."
"Thanks, Deacon. I can't wait to see you."
"Me too, baby, me too! Hey….I love you!"
"Love you too."
"You got any dress pants that would work with one of these?" Deacon asked Vince as he wandered into the living room with two of his best shirts
"Didn't you just buy some new clothes to impress Rayna?" Vince smirked
"Yeah, but they're jeans. I need dress pants for tonight."
"You…in dress pants? Where ya goin?"
"Do ya got any dress pants or not?" Deacon sniped getting irritated
"Got my black interview pants." Vince quipped
"They clean? Can I borrow em?"
"Back of my bedroom door."
"Where ya goin anyway?" Vince continued to press
"Dinner with Rayna and her dad." Deacon mumbled
"Ohhhhh…We are gettin serious now, huh Deke? Meetin dad!" Vince smirked
"I'm nervous as hell. Can you try to be a little sympathetic here and a little less of an ass?" Deacon snapped
"You're in my pants. How much nicer ya want me?" Vince laughed
"Shut up, Vince!"
Rayna had waited outside the front door for Deacon. Tandy and Lamar had already gone in to get a table when Deacon arrived. He opted not to have valet park his truck, and was a little confused about where to go.
"Sorry I'm late, Ray! I wasn't sure where to go. Never been here." He smiled nervously
"Daddy and Tandy just got a table a few minutes ago. You're fine. Thanks for coming. You look so nice, babe."
"I clean up good, huh?" he asked as she took his hand to lead him inside
"Daddy, Tandy…this is Deacon…" Rayna said as Deacon awkwardly shook hands with each
"Nice to meet you son. Wish I could say I've heard a lot about you, but Rayna's been a bit secretive it seems." Lamar quipped in his usual cold business voice
"Well, we've only been datin a couple months. Nice to meet you both too."
"So, how did you two meet?" Tandy asked
"uuhhhhh…mutual friend I guess. Watty White told me Ray needed a guitar player and well…here we are." Rayna cringed as Deacon mentioned Watty. That was the one part Lamar still wasn't aware of and she'd have preferred to keep that way
"Watty, huh?" Lamar glared at Rayna
"Seems there are a few more secrets." Lamar sniped as he picked up his menu
"Welcome, tonight's specials are on the insert in your menu's. Can I get your drink and appetizer orders?" A young waiter asked breaking the tension a little
"I'll have my usual scotch and a water. What's your poison, Deacon?" Lamar asked
"Iced tea's fine." Deacon really wanted a drink, but was trying to make a good impression
"You don't drink?" Lamar asked pointedly
"I do, just drivin tonight, and hopin to take Rayna out after dinner so probably best if I stick with iced tea." Deacon smiled
"Good answer." Lamar smirked
"So you're a guitarist?" Tandy asked trying to sway the conversation away from alcohol and the DUI's she knew Lamar was dying to ask about
"Yes, been playin for years. Inherited my grand daddy's 38 Martin after he passed. I was about 8. I haven't put it down since."
"So you never had any lessons or help, you just picked it up on your own?" Tandy asked
"Pretty much. I watched my grandpa pretty close when I was little. He showed me a few things, but wasn't till after he passed and left me the guitar I really took an interest and been hooked since."
"Impressive. Are you trying to make it big in country music." Lamar asked
"No sir. I play cause I love music. Gives me an outlet, a way to express feelings. I know I'm good. I don't need anybody to tell me that, but I do appreciate a grateful crowd at shows. That's all I really need."
"No ambitions to do better, go further?" Lamar quipped
"Sure, I'd like to make more money, but I do OK. If things really take off, that'd be great, but I just don't see a need to get my hopes up."
"If music's not your top priority, how do you support yourself, son?"
"Well, I bartend at the Bluebird. Been doin session work and helpin out as a bus boy since I was 16, but when I turned 18 a few years back they let me start bartendin. It's a busy place. I do pretty well with tips on a good night. Gets a little tight when things are slow in the winter months, but I get by."
"I see. Is your family from Nashville, mom, dad?" Lamar continued to press for as much information as he could from Deacon
"aahhh…No, I come from Natchez, Mississippi. Left home when I was 16. My family is still there." Deacon was getting uncomfortable talking about his family. Rayna felt him tense as she held his hand under the table
"16? That's awfully young to up and leave. Did you come right to Nashville?"
"Yes sir. Been here ever since."
The waiter's return and dinner's arrival gave Deacon a reprieve from Lamar's questions. Deacon was doing his best to be a perfect gentleman, but Rayna could tell he wasn't comfortable at the country club or in Lamar's presence as he carefully cut his steak. She squeezed his hand and rubbed his knee several times in support.
"Daddy, I'm gonna go out with Deacon for a while, but I promise I'll be home by 11, OK?"
"What do you two have planned for the evening?" Lamar asked as he signed the credit card slip for dinner
"Probably just take a little walk downtown, maybe some ice cream for dessert." Deacon answered
"Alright, I guess that's OK. Not a second after 11!" Lamar warned
"No problem sir. I'll get her home on time. Thank you for dinner. It was nice to meet you." Deacon nervously shook Lamar's hand as they departed the country club
"Good to finally learn a little about you too, son. Don't be a stranger. I like to know the people my girls choose to associate with. You can come in when you pick my daughter up and drop her off. I'd like to say hi and hear about your plans."
"Sure, I'll do that." Rayna's hand was on Deacon's back. She felt him tense again
"That wasn't so bad, huh?" Rayna asked as Deacon opened the truck door and helped her in
"Nothin like and interrogation over dinner." Deacon sarcastically responded as he climbed into the driver's seat, loosening his top few shirt buttons, and rolling up the sleeves
"I'm sorry, babe. Daddy can be…well…daddy…everything's always so cold and business like."
"Don't get the feelin he likes me much, that's all." Deacon replied as he started the truck
Rayna was quiet as Deacon drove downtown. She was still deep in thought as he parked the truck on the east Nashville side of the bridge. The report Lamar had run on Deacon was bothering her more than she wanted to admit. Deacon's reluctance and tensing as Lamar asked about his family seemed odd. It occurred to her he'd never mentioned his family or where he was from until tonight.
"Ray…hey…RAY?"
"Oh, sorry…I just got caught up in some lyrics I been thinkin about." She lied as he opened her door to help her out of the truck
"About me?" he playfully smirked, forgetting about Lamar as he pulled her out of the truck and into his arms
"Yeah." She smiled, kissing him for the first time all night
"I been waitin to do that all night. C'mere….I need some more of you." He pulled her in for a deep kiss, holding her tight
Her thoughts wandered again as they walked hand in hand across the bridge to the downtown Nashville area. Deacon already knew her well enough to sense something was wrong.
"Somethin wrong, Ray?" he asked squeezing her hand
"No, babe. Why?"
"You sure? Did I mess up tonight? Say somethin wrong?"
"I guess it's more what you haven't said, Deacon. It's not a big deal. Don't worry about it." She tried to smile as they continued to walk
"Sit down, Ray." Deacon pulled Rayna to a bench near the river
They were both quiet for several minutes as they watched people around them, and listened to music drift from the many bars and honky tonks on Broadway.
"What's wrong, Ray? C'mon baby, there's obviously somethin botherin ya." He coaxed
"Daddy ran a background check on you." She finally answered, not really sure how to ask about Deacon's criminal record
"OK." He tensed a little unsure of where she was going with this
"It says you've been arrested 14 times. The last in Jan for assault." She went on
"I don't deny any of that. I'm guilty, but I'm tryin to be better…for you. I aint been in trouble since we met." He swallowed a lump in his throat, looking away, feeling embarrassed about his past
"What happened…in Jan?" she asked rubbing his back in support
"Vince had just got to town. We were out celebratin. We met some women. Went bar hopping round downtown. The 4 of us. Apparently, the one I was with had just broke up with her boyfriend earlier in the evening. Hell, I didn't know nothin bout that. Next thing I know some guy's tryin to pull her outta the bar. They were fightin in the alley. She was tryin to get away from him. He hit her. I'd kinda stayed back and let em argue until that point, but I wasn't gonna let that happen again. I punched him, broke his jaw. The cops came. Of course I didn't have a scratch on me. His jaws broken. Guess who got arrested? It got dropped. The girl gave her statement to the cops defending me. There were several witnesses. All said I just helped her. That's it…spent a few nights in jail while it all got worked out."
"…and the other times?" Rayna asked cautiously sensing Deacon really didn't want to discuss it much further
"Some of the same, but I don't claim to be a saint, Rayna! I've made mistakes. I've caused a few bar fights. Most of the times, I've been too drunk to really remember what happened. Like I said…I've been good since we met, and I hope my past doesn't fuck up my future with you. I love you, Ray. I'm tryin to get myself together, help you out with this music career you want so bad. All I can do is try, Ray. I can't change what I've already done. It was before we met. If it's a pro…" Before he could say anymore she was kissing him
"I don't care about your past, Deacon. Hearing you say you love me and want a future together means everything to me. I can't even picture my life without you anymore. I love you soo much already and the fact that you care so much about my dreams is so special. We've got a little more than an hour. How about a country drive before you take me home?" she asked playfully stealing another kiss
An hour later Deacon walked Rayna to the front door, on time, as Lamar requested. She'd laughed as he nervously wiped the steamed up truck windows off with an old T shirt before leaving their country road make out spot.
"What? I just don't want your daddy to think we….." She pulled him to her side of the truck kissing him all over as he'd reached around her trying to get all the windows cleared
"We're creatin more steam here than I'm clearin, darlin!" he'd laughed and attacked her neck with nibbles
In the foyer at the Wyatt household he'd kissed her again. She'd felt him tense as Lamar's voice coming from his office startled both of them.
"Goodnight sir." Deacon politely called back, before leaning in to steal one last kiss goodnight
"On the up side, I don't need that cold shower tonight thanks to your dad. Love you, baby. Night." Deacon whispered as he nibbled Rayna's ear once last time before leaving