It takes her much longer than him to fall. She had something standing in his way that he didn't: Morals. Those pesky little morals that told her that she was almost as bad as him for letting him do the things that he did to her (And for her enjoying them).

She started keeping a list of reasons why she should, and shouldn't just kill him and save the world the trouble. Adding to the 'Reasons To' kept her anger alive, which made her feel human. Sane. As long as she could hate the monster she had no chance of loving him. She clung to that.

The first reason for was the most obvious: He was a murderer.

Reason to Kill Blaine #2. He turned me into a Zombie.

The reasons not to had been slow to start, and were few and far between. But adding to them managed to lessen the guilt that she felt, and the more she could justify her feelings for him the less she despised herself.

Reason not to Kill Blaine #1. He makes me feel alive.

She hadn't felt that way in a long time. Being with him was like being on a rollercoaster. There were extreme highs and extreme lows. There were days when she thought she couldn't hate him more, and days when she was surprised by how on top of the world she felt every time he made her laugh, or smile.

Reason to #8. I want to wipe that smug grin off of his face.

One night he showed up on her doorstep covered in blood and bruises. There was a bullet lodged in his bicep.

Reason not to #6. He's trying to do better.

There was so much blood that at first it had frightened her. She didn't know how much of it was his and how much was someone else's. She'd brought him inside and patched him up without a word. Later she wondered when she had started worrying about him, and when she had stopped assuming the worst.

Reason not to #10. When he smiles, it's like the whole world is standing still.

Eventually she finds out why Stacey Boss was hunting him, and how it wasn't just because he was testifying against him like he had said. It was because he was trying to steal the Utopium trade out from under Boss' feet.

Reason to #15. He is a liar and a sleezebag through and through.

After she finds out, he disappears. One minute he's there, with his cocky grin and devil may care attitude, laughing at her anger. And the next there's a fear in his eyes that makes her falter.

Then he's just gone.

Reason to #20. He's a coward.

At first she's not alarmed. But a week goes by and he's nowhere to be found. For the first time in a long time she can't sleep at night. Her anger turns to fear and she wonders if the reason she spent so long afraid of loving him was because she was afraid of losing him.

She stops writing lists. Her reasons for and against are all one and the same anyways, and killing him or not no longer matters when everyday she walks into the morgue afraid that she'll see his face.

A month goes by and she gives up hope.

That is until the doorbell rings one rainy night and he's standing there, drenched to the bone. She's torn between relief and anger so she settles for both, digging her nails into his scalp as she pulls him in for a kiss.

The next morning she adds one last thing to both of her lists, before tearing them up for good.

I love him.