There is a Stonehenge made out of beef jerky next to the window when Derek climbs in. An honest to god detailed recreation of Stonehenge using only beef jerky and some kind of gummy paste to keep things together. Who the fuck does that?
"Welcome to Candy Land!" Stiles says from her desk chair. Her desk is also covered in candy of many different kinds as well as littered with empty mountain dew cans. Derek has a really hard time not throwing the Stonehenge at her, but she clearly put work into so he leaves it be and slides into the chair near the window, a chair that used to be across the room.
"Are you high?" He asks, because this seems like high behavior.
"Yes. But its doctor induced high." Her eyes are a bit foggy as she says that. "Dad called the bitch again after I cam home with Godzilla face. Therapists are supposed to be nice, not force feed you drugs and say that sex is a bad thing."
"Right." Derek says because this isn't a conversation, this is a Stiles monologue, he can tell the difference now.
"Also last night is never happening again. Ever, ever, ever. I am not to held accountable for my actions when I mix xanax, adderall and some of the good ibuprofen that Mrs. Mcall keeps on hand. Not that it was bad, because it was kind of awesome in so many ways, but I play favorites." She winks at him.
"Also The Bitch from on high has once again made an attempt to drill into my mind that I do not have to live up to male standards of behavior. But what does that even mean? I mean seriously? I am in no way a man whore or a player or whatever, so I don't get what he problem is." A mouthful of gummy bears enters the mix now.
"Oh and I threw you under the bus to get the Queen of Hearts off my neck, cuz that bitch drugs me before sessions start. She knows me too well, damn her. But yes according to her you are a very very no good really bad idea."
"Oh?" Derek idly picks up part of Stonehenge and starts eating it.
"Because you are like the text book definition of emotionally unavailable and apparently that is a big deal. I tried to argue against that but she gets all up in my face about how I have to have trust. But I trust people, just all of them happen to be men or Mrs. Mcall. She is also always very unhappy about my apparent 'irrational distrust of women' but its not irrational because I know Lydia and I need to bring her in as proof behind me fears. "
"I still don't see how you being emotionally unavailable is a bad thing. I mean really our arrangement should come with balloons or a cake. Except for the weird thing the other night because I blame that on drugs and I am not telling Off With Her Head about that."
"You told your therapist about me?" Derek says catching up to what some of this babble is about.
"Yes, because she is crafty and not to be trusted she got it out of me. And then put drugs in me, because I am being self-destructive apparently, which I totally am not. You know what we need? Gulash! No wait, way too hard to make. We are having tacos!" Stiles bolts from the room. Derek is left sitting there for a moment wondering why he came here in the first place but then he can hear Stiles yelling for him.
"I might set my self on fire without proper supervision!" Derek groans because it's true. He finds Stiles in the kitchen attacking a pound of ground beef in a really hot pan with the other ingredients spread out around the stove. "Are you a peppers person? Because I tend to drown food in hot sauce. My dad calls it an offense to nature but its just so damn good."
Derek just watches her for a while because she gets quiet trying to cook and there is something funny about that. Also food smells good, like really good. Derek has trouble remembering the last time he had a meal that was not from some greasy hole in the wall.
"Oh so Mrs. Walter White thinks we should be friends and I should stop letting you put your penis in me. And no she did not really understand that I am not letting you do anything and might even be considered the aggressor in the relationship, arrangement, fucking? Hmm what do we call this?"
Stiles turned to look at Derek for a moment before going back too the now finished meat and covering it in seasoning, way more seasoning than any meat could possibly need. She even added hot sauce right to it.
"Anyway my drug dealer seems to think I need friends that are also down a parent or parents in your case. I really did attempt to explain that you would much rather dangle my ass off the roofs of building than spend quality time with me because I get on your every nerve." Derek hears the hitch there, her voices goes just ever so slightly higher than it was.
"You don't get on every nerve." He says. Stiles spins the second the words leave his mouth and she has the biggest grin on her face.
"I don't?"
"I still don't like you." Derek lies. Because he kind of does. Stiles is hard to hate. Really hard actually because despite some really annoying personality traits the kid just keeps on being stupid loyal and helpful at every turn.
"Lies and slander." Stiles hands him the largest portion of tacos he has seen out side of the Taco Bell drive through and begins eating her portion standing over the sink. There are moments when he forgets she is a girl, so many of her mannerisms favor those of a guy.
"Does Scott ever say you smell funny?" Derek asks getting around to his main goal. Finding out how much she knows about her blood line.
"Yes, but he says it different than you." Stiles mumbles it through a mouthful of food, some of which falls into the sink.
"How so?"
"Scott says smell the way you say girl, like its some kind of horrible crippling disease. You say smell the way he says Allison." She laughs, and then starts chocking and then spit up half her food. Derek feels the urge to slam his head against the countertop but hold himself back.
"Does he say that about anyone else?"
"Nope. Just me. And Isaac. I think. Maybe." Derek figures Scott was just smelling another wolf and not that
"How did you know about the subway car?" It was the other big issue, that she had walking in unannounced with out the official pack invite.
"I soccer mommed you." Stiles tells him as she grabs a two liter of cola and drinks right from the bottle.
"You what?" There is definite rage in that tone.
"Dude, calm the fuck down. I am the only one with the tracker." Stiles pulls her cell phone out of her pocket. "Its just a little chip and an app. It so cheap its funny. Parents really are scary these days."
"You put a tracking chip on me?" He shouts.
"Not on you. In the seam of the ever present leather jacket of hotness because seriously I have never seen you take that thing off." To prove a point Stiles comes around the counter and pulls at the hem of the jacket near the zipper, now that she shows him Derek can feel the slight bump that wasn't there before. "Now if you get kidnapped or fall down a mine shaft or a well or something you don't need to play Lassie with Scott because I have an app for that."
"Seriously?" Derek can't wrap his head around Stiles some times.
"Completely. Deadly. With Arrows on top." She smiles and this close he can still see the fog in her eyes.
"How many xanax did you take?" Because she is a little too high to have just mixed three drugs.
"Like three." Stiles kisses quickly and then jumps up onto the counter in front of him looking loopy.
"I am calling Scott." Because Derek doesn't want to deal with this shit right now.
"No don't! He will be mad. Like super mad. And this is only the first time I have done it this year. He can't be mad at me until after the second time. On the first time I can just say it was a slip up." She pouts at him, with the entirety of her lower lip sticking out. Derek caves, he doesn't mean do but the does.
"Fine." He groans as she bodily tackles him off the stool. He is sprawled on the ground and yet some how Stiles is already up and jumping up and down.
"We are going to have adventures!" She claps her hands to add to the jumping, which is how Derek spends an entire Sunday babysitting Stiles.
For the most part it's not that bad. Mostly Stiles eats more food than her entire mass and mumbles about weird things. But then once every two hours or so she gets funny and does something strange. First she insists she gets to see his teeth and claws and sits on his lap bouncing like a child until he does so. It's an extremely uncomfortable situation because the thing in his pants has not been told that Stiles is high and in no position to have sex.
The second time she freaks out it is much much worse. Because one moment she is standing in her bedroom eating sour patch kids with gusto and the next she makes a break for the door. Derek at first assumes she is just going to the kitchen to get more food, and then he hears the front door.
Stiles is surprisingly fast even barefoot and in gym shorts and a tank top in this cold. She makes it all the way out of the subdivision before he is able to track her down. Stiles of course seemed to think its some kind of joke and starts laughing and trying to dodge him. Derek puts up with that for about five seconds before he grabs her by the wait and throws her over his shoulder.
"Put me down or I am going to throw up!" It's an empty threat.
"No." Derek tells her.
"Why are you still here?" Stiles asks while she grabs his ass repeatedly. He deserves awards for this and like a medal or something.
"You can't be left alone right now." Derek slaps her ass in retaliation but that just makes her giggle.
"But I am always left alone." Stiles is laughing but something about the laugh sounds wrong. "I get to do it all by myself. It's cool. You can leave." Which is why Derek doesn't leave, why he stays with her all day has she comes down and eventually crashes on the sofa. She gives up the fight and lets him deposit her on her bed.
"Goodbye forever." She mumbles at him as he goes to climb out the window.
"Go to sleep Stiles." Derek tells her.
"You're not the boss of me!" There is a puff of indignation but then her heartbeat evens out for the first time today and falls asleep on top of the covers. Derek doesn't leave right away though; he stays there until the sheriff comes home. Later that night when he thinks back on the day he can't really say why he stayed or why today was one of the best days he has had in a while.
So this is a fluffly chapter that happens between the episode Ice Pick and the pool episode. Pool time comes next.
Also I don't know how this happened but this fic is kind of running away from me. It was going to be a silly mess of nothing and then every time I start writing other things come out. Hope you enjoy. -E