"Erica put me down! I am not a Pomeranian, I refuse to be treated as such!" Stiles yelled from under Erica's arm. First this bitch hits her with a starter and dumps her in a dumpster, irony not lost, and now she carried Stiles around like a handbag.
"Aw, is the kitten getting fussy? Does she need a good brushing and a starch rack?" Erica teased. Stiles decided to go with it and hissed loudly and with a good deal of flare. So that was how she saw Derek for the first time sense the Stonehenge incident, being carried by a girl in leather hissing like a pissed off cat.
Fuck her life. First she was an owl for Scott and Allison and now this shit. Game over, life wins, Stiles is checking out of this nonsense. Everyone go home, the internet is over.
"I have a cellphone!" Stiles exclaims at the two of them. "And the tracking chip in your jacket has an emergency function. You can just double squeeze is and the mommy alert goes off and then I can like call in the planters or something. When our powers combine some one can call Stiles without bodily harm."
Derek and Erica stare at her blankly. Stiles makes a real attempt to glare at them but they just blink at her like she has lost her mind.
"I hate both of you." Stiles tells them with a wildly pointing finger.
"What did you see at the mechanic's garage?" Derek asks.
"Um, several alarming EPA violations I am seriously considering reporting." Stiles smiled, this time they smiled back and then for no reason Derek pops a basketball. Like why was that needed? There is something seriously wrong with this man. Not physically but up there something isn't turning the right direction. Thankfully that does not affect his ability to perform in the sack, because that would be devastating. "Holy god."
"Let's try that again." Derek does the blank angry look. That look is only fun when he is naked because then it is super funny. Erica sniffs the air and makes a grossed out face. So Stiles starts describing the monster thing and neither of them look impressed until she mentions the tail.
"It's behind me isn't it? Because in the horror movies it always right behind the funny person once they describe it and lets be honest I am the only one with comedic timing of the lot you." Stiles turns to see that in fact she is right.
The snake thing throws Erica and just as Derek tells her to run like she is on fire it slices him in the back of the neck. Stiles has a pretty good idea why the cut looks shiny because she totally remembers being numb from that slimy goo. Derek tells her to call Scott.
And then because Stiles is not in fact a human but a baby gazelle cleverly disguised she drops her phone, and then drops Derek into the pool. She takes one big breath and rolls her eyes and then jumps in after the now drowning werewolf alpha.
"Maybe it took off?" Stiles suggest when they don't see the creature from the black lagoon. Then it makes a scream noise.
"Maybe not."
At which point they start fighting. Because now is the time for that clearly.
"Did you notice that I am paralyzed from the neck down in eight feet of water?" Derek shouts into her ear.
"How much do you think I weight? Because a hundred and thirty pounds is not enough muscle to keep your heavy dense ass floating for long." Stiles snaps back.
"You only weight a hundred and thirty pounds?" Derek has the gall to sound shocked.
"OH my god! You have seen me naked like four times now how has my extreme bean pole syndrome not become clear?"
"I was busy." Derek tells her.
"Are you blushing?" Stiles smiles between huffing out air.
"Shut up."
"Erica! Pumpkin? Sweetheart? Hot stuff? You awake over there?" Stiles yells towards the side of the pool that the creature is not guarding. "Isn't she supposed to have super healing now, why is she still napping?"
"Did you just call her Hot Stuff?" Derek asks missing the point completely.
"You don't?" Stiles is shocked by this. She had kind of assumed once Erica and her leather had entered the picture that Derek and her were no longer exclusive. Well the thing with Isaac hadn't counted.
"No." Derek glares at her from an inch away.
"So you are not tapping that?" She is really hoping he can't hear how happy that sounds.
"No." Stiles is pretty sure that Derek is blushing now. "Are you not wearing a bra?" He asks suddenly.
"I am not. Because I was kind of going to take a shower during the game so um I don't really have anything on under this tracksuit. Let me just say that going commando as a girl means a lot of seams hitting you in the crotch. Also bras are really uncomfortable, like underwire is some kind of torture device and its not like I have any kind of breasts to speak of. Why do you ask?" Stiles is babbling.
"Because I can feel them." Derek's voice sounds pained.
"Do you have a boner right now?" Stiles really wants to reach down and check but right now they are, or rather she is, treading water like a mo-fo.
"Geinim!" Derek shouts.
"Hey you only get to say that when you penis is in me, which at the moment it is not. Only people that were in the deliver room or put their penis in me get to use that." Stiles corrects him.
"Scott calls you Geinim when he is pissed." Derek points out, the fucker.
"Scott was in the delivery room. Melissa had him four months after me. Her and my mom were close. Calm your tits." Stiles tells him because she is pretty damn sure that was jealousy. Not that she is hoping its jealousy, because that would mean that she has feelings for a twenty something loser who can't seem to stop hanging out at the local high school. Which would be super depressing no matter how talented with his mouth he is.
"You have known each other since birth?" Derek sounds impressed and confused at once. Stiles often feels the same way about Scott.
"How do you think he made it this far in life?" Stiles is not joking.
"That makes a lot of sense actually." Derek sounds a bit desperate.
"How much water have you swallowed?" Stiles asks.
"It's going to hurt like a bitch." Derek says.
"You know if we layed flat. I remember when my dad made practice treading water like he learned how to in the coast guard. It was the worst summer ever, and the trick is to lay on your back." Stiles gives this a try, but Derek just sinks. "Are you made of nothing but muscle and cement?" She shouts.
"Shut up Stiles!" Derek shouts because the creature feature is back.
"I think I should get my phone." Stiles says because she really is getting tired.
"No!" They have a fight about this too of course. But it just translates to 'drop him' in Stiles' head. So she makes a go for the phone. And also fuck Scott. She is going to smoother him in his sleep the next chance she gets. Because now Stiles is trying to drag a drowning Derek out of the bottom of the pool.
"Did you get him?" Derek asks after coughing up some water.
"So now would be the time to figure out if you want to go down with claws or wait until I pass out and drown with you." Derek groans.
Scott does arrive, eventually, just in time to stop them from drowning and fight off the lizard. Stiles and Derek are laying on the floor trying to breath and not move for a while when Scott thinks its time to start doing stuff again.
"Hey lets not jump to stuff doing." Stiles wants to lift a hand or something but just lays there like a limp noodle.
"But we need to check the usb drive before Grandpa comes back." Scott has the panicked face. Panicked face means bad news for everyone. So Derek puts her in the fireman carry again and they all go outside to play Scooby Do.
"Who want's to give Stiles a ride home?" She asks from the spot on the grass where she has been collapsed for the entirety of this conversation.
"I have to go get my mom." Scott does the half smil with the one half closed eye, which translates into 'sorry dude you are on your own.'
"I can take you home." Derek volunteers. There is shocked silence from the entire group. Even recently brain trauma Erica looks like she is confused.
"Quick do it now before they reboot and take of the world." Stiles raises her arms and Derek picks her up again only this time he has the decency to do is wedding style.
Stiles doesn't remember getting into the car, or being buckled in or any of the drive because she kind of sort of maybe falls asleep in Derek's arms and only wakes up to him brushing the hair out of her face.
"We are here." He tells her.
"Would it be awful if I asked to be taken inside?" Stiles mumbles trying to push the wet hair out of her face. Derek sort of smiles at her and then takes her through her window and into her bedroom. Where he deposits her on the bed and turns to leave. "No, no wait!" She calls out.
"What?" Derek asks coming back to sit next to her. Stiles reaches up and pulls him down for a kiss.
"I am really glad you aren't dead." She whispers into his mouth. This time he kisses her. This time it isn't slow and strange or hot and fast. It's some where in the middle. It's hot and slow.
Derek rubs down every exposed inch of her as they drag their clothes off. Stiles doesn't have the compulsion to speak and Derek isn't growling or groaning. Everything hurts but Derek works the kinks out of each of her muscles as they work their way higher on the bed. He rolls her over and pays attention to her back and ass until Stiles is a big puddle of goo on the bed.
She has never before this considered her butt an erogenous zone but after Derek sinks his teeth in Stiles changes that stance. They don't do any other foreplay, just the full body rub and it's not a problem because they are both so ready for this by then. This is the first time that she isn't riding him in some way. Derek slides into her and he is the one that hikes one of her legs up to get a better angle because she just can't manage to move once he is in.
It's painfully short. Only three orgasms total, the least so far but its okay because Stiles can't really take much more activity after that. Also when Derek comes he kisses her, with feeling. That weird thing they had in his room it back and those thoughts from the pool resurface. Shit, she likes him.
Derek gets up and throws away the condom in some tissues. He gets dressed in the silence and Stiles feels her self falling asleep. The covers come up over her and a hand brushes her hair off her face. It has to be Derek but her mind is fogging already. Stiles feels a kiss on her forehead.
"Thanks Red." A deep voice whispers and she thinks it must be Derek but she is falling into that dreamland and images of wolves in pools flood her brain. But in these dreams girls in red outfits save the wolves and then everything is fine.
It's Monday. Monday means Teen Wolf. Yay! I had way too much fun writing this one. Like not as much fun as the last chapter but close. And I don't know why Derek keeps tucking Stiles in, but I just want to end it like that again. Maybe next time she puts him to bed? HMMMMM. -E