"What is this?"
"Daft Punk and Dub Step" Stiles told Scott.
"Why, just why?" Scott cried holding his ears.
"Because it literally sounds like sex noises made by two base machines doing." Stiles told him.
"Can you please just drive faster!" Scott yelled over the music. "Derek is getting away!"
"Don't jump out of the car while its moving!" Stiles yells after the now retreating Scott.
Derek was going to kill them. He was going to kill them just as soon as he was done killing Jackson. He was going to hang Scott upside down from the rafters in the gym until the whinny baby stopped with his god damn noise all the time. Derek was going to spank Stiles until she shut up for once, and that was no a sexual desire coming to the surface that was rage.
Because the Kanima was on the lose, all because the stupid teens wouldn't just let him end some one. No they had to get all emotionally and whinny and now here he was chasing the damn thing down. Oh and it was stupid fast. Fuck tonight. Fuck Scott. And especially fuck Stiles who seemed to be playing for both sides, but not an actual fuck because he couldn't stay mad at her when they did that.
Just to round out the shit that today had turned into Chris Argents shows up. So that's a thing that happened. ARgh. There would be hell to pay for this. Isaac and Erica and Boyd were going to have to become usefully really fucking fast because this was getting old.
And the Kanima was immune to bullets. Derek was going to kill some one.
"Dude!" Scott shouted over the music. "Everyone in here is a dude! I think we are in a gay club."
"Man, nothing gets past those keen werewolf sense huh Scott." Stiles jokes as the Drag Queens surround her, because apparently the high heeled boot and leopard print jeans she has on are just fabulous. Thank you Lydia for making her blend in well with Drag Queens.
"Stiles!" Danny says angrily when she bumps into him, more like dive tackles really because it is crowded in here and while she may for some reason blend with the Drag Queens most of the guys are pushing her out of the way. "What are you doing here?"
"I am here because you need some one to buy you drinks." She supplies as her best possible lie, and then because she is who she is Stiles continues. "And I do kind of owe you money for all the shit I keep stealing from you. So I figured good way to make it up to you was to help you stick it in Earring's face." Stiles smiles.
"Earrings?" The mostly naked guy with Danny asks.
"The ex who shall not be named." Stiles supplies.
"Oh." Naked guy nods. It's kind of depressing that with all of these naked men none of them would do her, its some kind of horrible nightmarish vision, being surrounded by naked men who won't do her.
"Who let you in?" Danny says still sort of confused by Stiles, which hurts it really hurts.
"Scott." Stiles says because it's the truth.
"Who?" Naked boy asks. Stiles points to where Scott is roaming the edge of the crowd. "Oh I see why they let you in."
"Thank you, naked man for believing in the power of my friend's hotness to sway others. Also Sugar Plum says if I go for a bit more brow pencil the bouncers wouldn't be able to tell I am a girl right away."
"I can totally see that." Naked guy agrees with the Drag Queens apparently.
"Stiles." Danny looks annoyed.
"Yes, oh sorry for the cock block and all. Proceed." She waves her arms. "Just proceed over in that direction and away from…." Then there is the snarl and a hissing noise behind. "Fuck."
"What was that?" Danny asks looking behind him.
"That would be my fuck buddy trying to kill your best friend." Stiles says before she can stop herself.
"What?" Danny asks again.
"Ah! Giant lizard man!" Stiles shouts because in fact the lizard creature that is Jackson has made an appearance and just as she yells that he does the neck cutty thing and Danny and the naked man go down. "Cue people freaking out." Stiles says as half the dance floor blots for it.
"What do we do with him now?" Scott asks kneeling over the bleeding coughing Jackson.
"Can dump him in a lake be an option?" Stiles offers, Scott gives her the not amused look. "I don't want more blood in my car, I just got the Derek out." This of course meant nothing. Jackson, blood and all was deposited in her Jeep and they went back to check on Danny. Who Stiles was now convinced had a thing for Scott, and really they would be cute together. In fact Allison should just leave so that Danny and Scott could realize their soulmate –ness.
"That was a rhetorical question!" She shouts at the slumbering Jackson when he dad shows up. It would be weird if she also shouted back 'and that was a rhetorical answer' to herself. One of these days she is going to get Scott to watch the Team Four Star Dragon Ball Z parodies with her so that she can make those jokes. She wants to make those jokes; she needs to make those jokes.
"Sweetie, why are you at a gay club?" Her dad asks.
"Well dad…"
"You aren't gay." Her dad bites back.
"I could be!" Stiles shouts back at him.
"She has some great jaw line going on." Sugar Plum the Drag Queen says walking by.
"Thank you Sugar Plum."
"Don't forget to accept my friend request!" One of the other Drag Queens shouts out and Stiles waves. Her dad is not amused.
"We were here for Danny. He had a bad break up and I kind of owe him money and I figured getting him laid would make up for that." She says.
"We have talked about this." Her dad sighs.
"Yes, need to stop bringing sex up or I have to go talk to therapist lady again and you cut my Internet connection. Which wouldn't work because I have hard drives." Her dad is not amused. "What, sorry. We just, you know, wanted to help Danny through the break up. Ignore my mildly inappropriate comments."
"You are a good friend." Her dad smiled a little at this.
"Are you going to be here all night?" She asks him because this is looking like one of those all night kind of deals.
"Yeah." Her dad looks tired.
"Can I stay at Scotts?" Stiles asks because she thinks shit ahead and they still need to figure out what to do with Jackson. "I just sorta don't want to be…" She trails off shuffling her feet.
"Sure thing. Just call me in the morning." Her dad kisses her on the head and leaves.
"I had to punch Jackson." Scott admits the second she enters the Jeep.
"I call nose goes on first round of Jackson sitting." Stiles tells Scot with her finger already on her nose. He growls but relents. Then they come up with one of the least legal ideas they have had in a while.
Derek is just getting the betas settled when Stiles stumbled in after tripping three of the alarms. Erica looks like she is ready to fight, Boyd stands off to the side but it's Isaac who runs into Stiles first.
"Good doggy." She says sleepily and pats Isaac's cheek. Stiles kicks off her heels and makes a zig zag line for the bathroom. Derek and the betas are all kind of frozen in confusion until they hear the water turn on.
"The fuck is she doing here?" Erica is the first to unfreeze.
"My guess is their regularly scheduled boning." Boyd offers looking at Derek, who really wants to shoot the boy a dirty look.
"Glitter! Curse you! Herpes of craft supplies!" Stiles shouts from the bathroom.
"Didn't you say something about Kanima being at the club?" Isaac asks between snickers. The laughing promptly stops when Stiles exits the bathroom in nothing but the thread bare towel Derek normally uses. Erica rolls her eyes and scoffs but Derek and the boys are kind of caught by the fact that they can see the tops of her breasts.
Derek does not actively let the growl out but suddenly Boyd and Isaac have other more interesting things to look at. Stiles flips them off and stumbles into Derek's room.
"I am going to go home before I have to listen to this nonsense." Erica says picking up her jacket. "Come one Boyd." The large boy gives a wave and follows her out. Isaac looks at Derek for a moment and then sort of shrinks into the background.
Derek doesn't know what he is expecting when he goes into his room but what he finds is not it. He was expecting some kind of sexual advance or maybe something lude and outrageous to fall from her mouth. Derek is not expecting to find Stiles wearing one of his black long sleeved shirt's like a dress and his socks half way up her legs.
She is tiny. Derek isn't sure why the thought has never really occurred to him but seeing her in his clothes combing her hair with her fingers brings this fact to his brain. Other things about this stand out like how she looks soft and sad all at once.
"Before you start whatever it is that is going on in your big werewolf brain right now I want you to know this is not a sex night. This is a sleep night. And I am here because it has been a really rough couple of days and I keep being attacked or nearly attacked and really just don't want to be in the house alone right now. Okay?"
Derek nods and Stiles just kind of crumples with his agreement. She half crawls half drags herself under the blanket and yanks it up under her chin. The room smells like her and her damp hair is drying on his pillow pulling in his scent as it does.
It's a bit of a punch in the gut. Only a few hours ago he was so sure he was angry at her but now he can't muster it, because she smells like home. Sure Derek had told Isaac that Stiles was one of those special humans that could have werewolves but he didn't mention his family. The family that had been half comprised of those humans. Whose special smell had always filled the house. He hadn't mentioned how his mom had been one, or the way that Stiles' had under notes that were similar to his mom.
Derek had checked of course, the second he caught the similarity in the smell. But Stiles was not related to his mom in any way. Or at least not as far back fifteen generations, which was as far as he could get in the records.
It should have been a tip off when he was concerned enough to check. But it's not until this exact moment of Stiles in his clothes, sleeping in his bed that he puts that weird feeling in his chest to words. He likes her. Jesus he really likes her. She is annoying and mouthy and makes Derek want to slam his head through a wall most of the time but he likes her. She never leaves him alone and barges into his space without permission all the time because he would never give it willingly, and he might love that about her.
"Stop staring and get your space heater ass in here. I am too cold for this BS." She mumbles cracking an eye. Derek sighs and gives her his best expasperated face. "Don't pout, get in the fucking bed already." Stiles lifts the covers and Derek slides in.
She isn't kidding about the being cold bit, she is freezing. The moment Derek is in the bed Stiles literally climbs on top of him and wraps herself around him like a human blanket, a human blanket filled with ice.
And maybe, just maybe he brushes the tangles out of her hair as she drifts off. This doesn't change things, she is still in trouble about the Kanima and he is pretty sure she knows where Jackson is right now.
"I am still mad at you." Derek whispers as her breathing evens out.
"That's nice." Stiles hums. "We can have makeup sex." Derek has to try really hard not to snort, because who says stuff like that.
"Question." Isaac says first thing in the morning when Erica and Boyd swing by to pick him up. "What if the Kanima is after Stiles?"
"Seriously?" Erica rolls her eyes. Her bitch level has really gone up with this whole change, Derek is starting to regret that decision.
"Hear me out. Stiles has been at every attack in the last couple of days. Sure she wasn't there when it went after my dad but almost everything after that has been Stiles related."
"Scott and her were chasing it last night." Derek corrects the boy because there is no way. They are having this conversation in the common area because Stiles is still sleeping in his room.
"Yeah but besides the little tussel you had with it, the thing only attacked when Stiles was on the dance floor." Isaac says.
"I have a solution, lets ask Stiles." Which is how Erica ends up draging Stiles and some blankets out of the bedroom by her ankle.
"There is something wrong with you people." Stiles grumbles but seems resigned to her position of being dragged by her leg.
"Have you been pissing off lizard mutants?" Erica asks with a shake of Stiles' leg for good measure. Derek is now convinced he lives in some twilight zone because he is watching the weirdest girl fight ever.
"No have you?" Stiles screams from her position on the floor.
"Maybe one of us should just keep an eye on her?" Isaac offers when Erica looks like she is going to pull Stiles into the air by her ankle.
"Not it!" Shouts Erica.
"I can do it." Isaac says. Derek rolls his eyes; they aren't even paying attention to him any more. This is turning into some kind of strange sit-com.
"If anyone is playing guard dog on me I want Boyd." Stiles offers.
"Why me?" Boyd asks from his seat on the stairs.
"Firstly I think our skin contrast alone will make for some very dynamic photos. Also you are like seven times my size and I think that might deter possible attacks." Stiles says leaning up on her elbows now.
"You might have a point." Boyd huffs.
"You are my new favorite werewolf, hugs time!" Stiles jumps up. At which point the second twilight zone moment occurs because now Boyd is running away from a very slow Stiles who has her arms stretched out as she runs.
"Wait shouldn't Derek be your favorite werewolf?" Isaac asks. Derek is beginning to think that the boy has a death wish or some kind of weird understand of the world.
"No, he is classified as boy toy. Different category." Stiles shouts out still in her pursuit of Boyd who is now just making laps around the room. Stiles could easily catch him if she reversed directions but she doesn't seem to put this together.
Suddenly 'Call Me Al' is blaring from Derek's room Stiles skids and changes directions sliding in the socks that are way too big for her. She comes out of the room pulling on pants and shoving her feet into shoes, but Derek notices that she is still in his clothes. He is happy about that, but he doesn't show that because he would never live it down with this bunch.
"No I didn't forget I fell the fuck asleep." She is shouting into the phone as she runs out of there. "Calm your tits I am on my way. You can make kissy face with Allison soon enough."
"Of all the people you could sleep with it has to be her?" Erica sighs.
"Stop being a bitch." Isaac snaps. "Just because she smells rotten to you doesn't mean you have to be cruel."
"I am going to go follow her." Boyd says gesturing to the door and then bolding for it.
"Go to school already." Derek growls at Erica and Isaac who jump up and leave as well. Derek picks up the blanket from the middle of the room and heads back into his bedroom. He is really glad no one is there to see him rub his face in the blanket and take deep gulps of the scent. He really needs to get his pack in line.
So this is like only half of the episode Frenemy. Yeah. So stuff. Also if any of you know the DBZ reference I made here I want you to quote me something from the TFS and I will give you hints and or facts about what I am doing next chapter. Yay! -E