Wow! We are almost done. This has been so much fun!
There is one thing Michael doesn't know yet, he doesn't know that Tanya used to have a thing for Edward. Hmmmmm.
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Chapter 14 - RULES
Amazingly enough, Tanya and I made it through that first day.
Now, four weeks later, I was healing quickly. Carlisle was very pleased by my progress. I had a walking cast on my left leg, and even though Carlisle said that I would need to have at least one more surgery on my right knee, I didn't have a lot of pain. My left arm was another story. I had found out that there were two pins in my arm, one in my elbow and another holding my wrist together. My ribs and collarbone were almost healed, and that meant it was so much easier to move my shoulders. I was finally able to put my arms around Tanya.
We had been staying in a house that belonged to Carlisle, but two days after my surgery, we moved to a safer location. It was a house that belonged to Tanya's sister, Kate. It was well hidden and had been deliberately kept a secret from Alexei. It was far from any main roads and protected from prying eyes by a large mass of trees.
We had wanted to leave Russia entirely, but we felt that at this time it was best to lay low. Tanya was sure that Alexei had his followers searching for us everywhere. They would most assuredly be watching the roads and the airports. So for now, the five of us, Edward, Bella, Tanya, Carlisle, and myself, were going stir crazy in Kate's house, waiting to see what our next move should be.
I was sure that Sterling Hathaway was furious with me. Edward had been gracious enough to call him for me. Using an untraced cell phone, he posed as a hospital employee and let Hathaway know that I had been in a serious car accident. At that time, Hathaway had only been slightly understanding. Now, it had been four weeks, and he hadn't heard from me at all. By now, I was sure he had someone else doing my job, and taking my promotion. I would have called and talked to him myself, but it was too risky. There was a chance that Alexei had people watching Hathaway to see if I was really dead, and if they were listening, there was a chance they would track any correspondence back to me. I had no one to blame but myself for all of this mess.
The ones I was really worried about, were my parents. I couldn't contact them at all. The last they had heard was that I was in a car accident, and now I had just been missing for a month. I wondered if they had been checking the hospitals in Moscow, trying to find me. I had not let them in my life for a long time, but now that I was in so much danger, I was surprised that I really wanted to talk to my parents. It was ironic to find out that I needed them as soon as I couldn't talk to them anymore. It was also keeping me up at nights to think that there might be a murderous vampire watching them to see if I was really dead.
Despite it all, the last weeks with Tanya had been . . .well, fantastic. We had talked more, argued more, and made up more than I thought two people were capable of doing in such a short time. She and I had been together constantly, and I knew that if I were to be separated from her now, I would never survive it. In her eyes, I hoped I was seeing the same thing. She was not giving in on the whole mortality issue. I had been reminding her that my 27th birthday was coming up, and that if she needed an idea for the perfect gift, I knew just what she could get me. She failed to see the humor in that.
There was however, this ever-present danger swirling around us. It was like the elephant in the room. The subject was always looming at the front of our minds. It was weighing on us.
Part of Edward and Carlisle's worry came from the fact that there were only four vampires in the house, and they had no idea how many they might eventually have to fight. Apparently, the worry was shared by the rest of Edward's family. Since Alexei had never met any of Edward's family, they decided it was safe to travel to Moscow, as long as they didn't travel together. Five vampires might attract attention, but one or two would not. There was some concern that at the ball Alexei had seen Rosalie and Emmett and would connect them with Tanya, but she highly doubted that was possible. Tanya was sure that Alexei was much too focused on her to have paid attention to such a detail. Tanya missed her sisters terribly, but she knew it was much too risky for them to attempt it. Alexei or any of his followers would recognize them immediately.
The first to arrive were Alice and Jasper, they had been with us for almost a week, before Emmett and Rosalie arrived. When Rosalie walked in, she was carrying three large suitcases and two smaller bags. I smiled to myself as I saw her personality in many of the supermodels I had dated. It made me love Tanya all the more.
The last to arrive was Esme. I had been anxious to meet her, but after seeing how energized Carlisle became as her time approached, I was even more intrigued.
He had gone out on the grounds and gathered flowers and had filled their room with them, and all that day he had been playing Esme's favorite opera arias. The music flowed through the house and had been like an extension of Carlisle's longing to see the woman with whom he would spend forever. As I watched him, I wanted nothing more than to have his life. To love just one woman for eternity. To have what was most important to me by my side.
He had been at the window, anxiously watching for her, and when he saw her car emerge through the trees, he went out to meet her. When they walked back in, he was holding her suitcases, and after greeting everyone, they quietly slipped away. I knew we wouldn't see them until morning. I watched them go, all the others seemed oblivious to their leaving, but I stared after them with deep envy and yearning. This was what I wanted. I wanted Tanya as my wife with her belonging only to me. I wanted to have all of her, and for her to have all of me. I wanted us existing for eachother.
It was strange being in a house full of vampires. If I didn't know any better, aside from the extreme beauty and pale skin, I would think they were completely ordinary. Only the occasional quick movement, or comment by Edward before the person had a chance to speak would have given the hint that there was anything peculiar. There was a tight bond between them. They were a true family. It was interesting to me that they were more a family than I was with my parents and brother. Though now, I could see that our lack of closeness had mostly been because of my choosing.
A few nights after the whole family had arrived, Edward, Rosalie and Tanya had made their way into the next room, and I decided to follow. Because I was so slow, the group was already in the middle of a conversation.
I heard Rosalie talking, and I could tell she was annoyed. "Please tell me that we are not going to have to endure another 'vampire loving a human' ordeal. Honestly Tanya, aren't there enough male vampires in the world to keep you happy?"
"Enough, Rosalie," Edward growled.
Rosalie laughed before she spoke. "My mistake, maybe there aren't enough males. Edward, Tanya even made a play for you. She practically threw herself at you, and you completely rejected her."
I felt my stomach begin to burn. A deep pang of jealousy boiled inside of me. I heard Tanya yell something, but then Edward must have told them to be quiet. I heard him speak in a hushed voice, probably telling them that I had heard the whole thing. I didn't wait around to hear more. I was already halfway across the room and heading down the hall. My leg ached to move this fast, but I wasn't really concerned about that.
The first room on the right was a library. As I closed the door, I heard a loud crashing sound in the room with Tanya and Rosalie. I made my way in and without turning on the light, I found a couch by the window and sat down wearily.
I should have known. Of course Tanya would have fallen in love with Edward. That seemed natural, normal, expected.
Had she really pursued him?
Ah, why did that hurt so much? I had almost forgotten what that burning hole of acid in my stomach felt like.
If only she would make me a vampire, and then perhaps I would look similar to Edward. I would be attractive to her, I reasoned. But then I realized the foolishness of my reasoning. If she couldn't love me enough as a human, turning into a vampire for her seemed like a pretty twisted way to win someone's affection. And it wouldn't be real, it wouldn't be lasting.
I sat with my head laying heavily on the back of the couch. I couldn't be enough for her. Was I trying too hard to hold on to her? Should I let her go so that she could find someone like Edward? Of course that was what would make her happy. Of course it would. I was no competition for him. Not. Even. Close.
I suddenly heard the door creak open. Tanya quietly slipped in.
"Hi," she smiled. I watched her perfection flow into the room. She certainly didn't look like she had just been in a fight with Rosalie.
"Hi," I replied.
She came over and kneeling down in front of me, put her hands on each side of my face. "I'm so sorry that you had to find out that way about Edward."
I put my hands over hers. I gripped on to her cold hard fingers. "I don't think that how I found out that you were in love with Edward, is really what's concerning me."
She bit her lower lip as her brow furrowed. "It wasn't love. I thought it was at the time, but you do realize that I no longer feel that way about him, right?"
"Do I know that?" I asked bleakly.
The air escaped out of her lungs as she shook her head decisively. "That was 60 years ago, Michael."
Sometimes it was hard for me to fathom the life she had before she met me. She threw around the date of 60 years ago like it was last week. I ran my fingers over her hands as I said, "If I fell in love with you 60 years ago, all the time that's passed wouldn't have changed anything."
She touched her forehead to mine and breathed out, "That is exactly what I'm saying. With Edward, it was different. It wasn't like what I feel for you. It was nothing like this. Rosalie was just being her cruel, vindictive little self." Her cold lips ran over mine and I shivered with yearning for her.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
I moved my hands to her face. I brought her mouth to mine and kissed her hard. I curled my hands in her hair and breathlessly tried to make her forget him. I wanted to kiss her like no one ever did, like no one but me ever would again. I wanted my kisses to claim her. She answered my longings with kisses of her own, and I whispered her name and told her I loved her. I didn't know how to keep her. I desperately wanted to keep her.
She pulled away and stared at me. Her eyes looked alive and a bit crazed. Her usual warm butterscotch color was replaced by a darker, almost ocher shade that made the hair stand up on the back of my neck. She was trying to pull away, but my weak hold kept her in place.
"I . . . ." her teeth were clenched. "I shouldn't kiss you like this, Michael." Her whole body was rigid. Her hands seemed locked in my hair.
My breath was coming hard and quick. "I'm sorry," I breathed. You warn me, and I understand the reason, but I. . . "
I slowly pushed her down to the floor and positioned myself on top of her. She didn't fight me. I closed my eyes and held her face in my hands, my forehead was touching hers.
"Thinking about you wanting Edward . . . it just . . . drives me crazy." I let my lips lightly brush hers. "I want you to want only me."
"I want you," she said breathlessly. "That has never been the problem."
Her eyes opened and she looked at me through black eyes. "What I am is the problem."
I knew that she had been with other human men. She had been honest with me about that. To say that it didn't kill me to hear that, would be lying, but for some reason, hearing that she had been attracted to Edward, did something to me.
Tanya and I had not been intimate. With me having casts on both of my arms and legs, it was not anywhere close to how I wanted our first time to be. And Tanya had noticed something too, whenever we became physical, she found it hard to control herself. She said it was sure to have something to do with how I smelled to her, but she said it had more to do with how she felt about me. She hadn't loved any of those men. Her feelings for me made it very hard for her to control her thirst. I knew all this, I had been very careful. But finding out about Edward, changed it all.
I put my hands into her hair, I kissed her and whispered, "We're not back to this. You keep feeling the need to remind me of what you are . . . . ."
My voice was strained and I found it hard to swallow.
"I know what you are, Tanya."
I kissed her so hard that my head was swimming.
"Michael," she whispered.
"Yes," I managed to say.
"I . . ." I began kissing her again. I had never kissed anyone the way I was kissing her now.
I heard her sigh and lock her arms around me. I was lost in her. I was drowning and I never wanted to come up for air. I pressed myself as close to her as I could. I was reaching for her buttons and cursing my casts for slowing me down. Then, she was holding my face and staring at me.
"Michael," she gasped. "I need your help. Please, please stop."
Her eyes were so dark, her face so terrified. Part of me whispered that if I pressed her on this, that maybe in three days I would be a vampire. But the fear in her eyes made me stop. There was something more here. It could mean my death.
I relaxed and rolled on my back next to her. I was still gripping tightly to her hand as I fought to control my breathing. I rolled on my side to look at her.
She was staring at the ceiling her eyes wide, her chest moving up and down rapidly. After several minutes she closed her eyes and her grip on my hand relaxed. I ran my fingers slowly across her cheek, and she turned to look at me. Her eyes were still black.
She didn't say anything, she stood up and held her hand out to me and helped me off the floor. My legs still felt weak, and I thought if I felt this way just from my human attraction to her, she must be going through something incredibly intense.
She walked me to our bedroom and once we were inside, she looked at me and said, "Get ready for bed. I need to talk to you."
When I lay down in the bed, she climbed in and moved into my arms. She still seemed to be trembling. I held her as tightly and firmly as my injured arms would allow.
"I need to go hunting tomorrow," she stated.
We had been together a month and she had never talked about going hunting.
"It has been careless of me to go this long," she said flatly.
"Okay," I said simply.
"Does it bother you to know that I will be drinking blood tomorrow?"
If it did bother me, I certainly wasn't going to let her know it.
I ran my fingers down her arm. "No, it doesn't."
"It doesn't repulse you?" She pursued.
I kissed the top pf her head. "Nothing repulses me where you are concerned." That was completely true.
"Michael, I will always have to do this, no matter how many centuries I exist, no matter how good I get at this, I will always be a slave to my thirst."
I swallowed hard and turned her chin up to me. "I get it, Tanya. Really, I get it." The look in her eyes made so afraid she was getting ready to say good-bye to me again.
She continued looking at me. "There is so much more about my world that you don't know. You're beginning to see our vicious side, but in truth, you're not even close to seeing how despairing and sinister this life can be."
"Carlisle's family doesn't look like they're in despair," I argued.
"At times, each of them has been. Besides, their family and mine are the great exceptions to the rule."
"You do know that the human world is far from perfect and wrought with hopelessness and despair, too, right?" I argued.
"That's different," she replied.
"The only difference is that if you send me back there, I will be breakable, subject to all matter of disease and old age. And I will be enduring all the wars, drugs, and general debauchery of society without you. I would be completely alone, mourning you until I died."
"Don't be so dramatic," she rolled her eyes.
"Actually, I thought I was pretty much spot on with what I said," I insisted.
We lay there silent, and once again, I felt the need to cut the tension between us.
"So did you win?" I asked.
She pulled back and looked at me in confusion.
"Did you win against Rosalie?" I clarified.
One eyebrow went up as she muttered, "I held my own."
"That, I believe," I chuckled.
My smile left me. I moved a piece of hair away from her face and ran the back of my hand across her cheek.
"Tanya," I swallowed hard. "Please don't leave me. Go hunting as long as you want tomorrow, but please come back."
Her eyes softened. "I can't stay away from you Michael. For right or wrong, I'll be back."
I would miss her like crazy. It would cause me actual physical pain to be separated from her.
She kissed me then. I held her tightly until sleep eventually overtook me.
I awoke to find her gone. There was a note on her pillow.
"You will be my constant thought until I am in your arms again, T."
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When I came out of my room, I couldn't find anyone. I assumed they had all gone hunting, and had left me there alone. I sat down at one of the many computers in the house to find a way to occupy my mind. I had some things to work out.
It was clear that Tanya did not want me to become a vampire. Last night in the library proved to me, that one way or another this issue was getting pushed to the forefront.
Although it was very difficult for me, I was trying not to think about the physical side of the things. Of all the reasons for becoming a vampire, wanting to make love to Tanya could not be the deciding factor. It was a good enough reason for me, but ultimately, it had to be based on more. Tanya would never agree to that , I was wanted to show her I was thinking of our future in mature, and methodical terms.
The Mediterranean coastline was probably one of the sunniest places in the world, therefore, not a good place for Tanya. I was looking for places we could live after this whole mess was behind us. Perhaps she would want to live in Alaska with her sisters again. I spent the better part of an hour trying to find any sort of job in Alaska that would still make me a player in the financial world. It didn't look promising.
What if I became a vampire? I would definitely not be able to be in the financial world then. Would I miss this life of fast-moving money and deals? Maybe a little, but not enough. Besides, this job had never lived up to the excitement created when Bella and I worked together. It had all become extremely tiresome.
I had started to look at Washington and Oregon when Edward came up soundlessly behind me. I turned around and saw him and about jumped out of my skin.
"Geez, man! Could you at least make some noise on purpose?" I huffed.
He laughed. "Sorry. I'm not used to being able to sneak up on anyone." He came and sat in the lounge chair to the left of the desk I was using.
"Where's Bella?" I asked.
"Bella and everyone else went hunting with Tanya. They are sticking as close as possible to the house, but they felt there was strength in numbers if they went together."
"Do you think they are in danger?" I asked alarmingly.
Edward was shaking his head before I finished. "No, we don't think so. But, we discussed it during the night, and felt it was better to be as safe as possible."
It seemed like there were a lot of discussions that took place while I was sleeping. "So, you are my babysitter." I stated.
He chuckled. "That's one way of seeing it, I suppose."
It went silent, and I had a moment to study him. He looked restless and uneasy. I realized that he felt the same way I did.
"You missing, Bella?" I guessed.
His head went down as she grinned. "Yes. Is it that obvious?"
I smiled. "Maybe only to someone who is going crazy just like you. I keep checking my watch and it's like time is standing still."
He ran his hands through his hair and before I had a chance to try and block it, an image of Tanya in love with him flashed through my mind. He immediately shot me a sideways look, and I cleared my throat and looked away. I heard him let out a long sigh.
"Look, this thing with Tanya was half of a century ago. I am telling you the truth when I say that she isn't thinking about me at all, her thoughts are all centered around you."
Anyone else, and I would doubt what they said was true, but when Edward said it, well, I was very relieved.
I smiled at him. "She's thinking about me?"
He put up his hands as he said, "Oh no. Don't even ask me to divulge what's in Tanya's mind, I don't even do that for my brothers and sisters."
I'm sure he was aware of my disappointment. Besides, he was right, it wasn't fair. I leaned back in my chair and said, "Can I ask you a question?"
"Of course," he replied.
"You were in contact with Tanya after the whole ballroom thing in New York, weren't you?"
Without hesitation, he nodded his head. "Yes, I was."
"Why didn't you . . ."
He started talking before I finished. If I tried, I bet I wouldn't even have to open my mouth for this whole conversation.
"Because Tanya asked me not to. She was very upset about how she felt about you. Being extremely attracted to you, and your blood, was something of which I can keenly identify, and I completely understood her desire to get as far away from you as possible."
Fair enough. But I was still mad at Bella for lying to me about not knowing where Tanya was. Edward started talking before I even formed the question.
"In her defense, Bella wanted to tell you the truth. She could tell that you were in love with Tanya. She knew you had never felt like that about anyone before. She did her best to persuade Tanya to contact you. I could also tell by your thoughts that your feelings were genuine, but I insisted that she let Tanya take the lead on this. If Tanya felt she could control herself, then I knew she would find you. She had no faith in herself that she could do that, and as long as she felt that way, none of us wanted you in any danger."
He spoke so fast I had to concentrate to keep up. It was a few seconds after he finished that I finally got all he said.
"But you knew what it was like for Bella and yourself when you were apart," I argued.
He shook his head. "It still doesn't change the fact that Tanya didn't want you to find her. She is pretty stubborn. You may have found that out for yourself." I laughed and nodded my head as he finished.
"I was too weak when I first saw Bella. I tried to stay away, but I saw her everyday, and finally I gave in. I knew it was wrong, as Tanya does, but eventually, I just wanted her."
"But then you left again," I said sternly.
"I will spend the rest of my days trying to make up for that," he said softly.
"I would like to ask you a favor," I replied.
The corner of his mouth went up as he looked at me knowingly. "I don't have to do that, she has been watching Bella and I, and there has been extreme turmoil going on inside her. She sees Bella being happy with this life. She has also watched Carlisle and Esme. Carlisle turned Esme into a vampire for himself, and she sees Esme being happy. I am not going to try and persuade Tanya or anyone else for that matter to turn a human into a vampire. As a rule, it is wrong. But, once you fall in love, things become a bit more complicated."
"I understand," I said begrudgingly. "But if you could at least put in a good word, that would be helpful."
He just grinned and shook his head.
I glanced down at my watch again. When I looked up, Edward just laughed. "You want to go for a drive?" He asked.
I nodded gratefully. "Yes, thank you."
We made our way out to the spacious garage. Edward had his beautiful Audi parked three cars down. He jingled the keys out in front of me and I stared at them with extreme desire. "Oh man, I would love to. After I get out of these casts, I will definitely take you up on that."
I could almost feel the power underneath my feet as I drove, and I thought wistfully about my beautiful Jaguar that was now becoming rusting metal somewhere.
"Another time then," he said.
We both stepped down into the car. It purred to life, and then we were off. I had not left the house, since my unconscious arrival, and it was interesting to see my surroundings. The forest was dense and lush with trees towering above us. The curving mountain road was no match for Edward. I buckled my seat belt and did my best not to imagine myself back in a hospital bed if he sent the Audi off a cliff.
He put me in charge of the stereo and I picked out a CD I loved and had not heard in a long time. The sound system in the car was incredible. It blasted into my ringing ears, as we sped down the mountain pass. The road eventually straightened, and he accelerated. I dared not look at the speedometer.
We had been gone about an hour, and had just started making our way back. All of the sudden, Edward turned off the stereo and reached for his cell phone. He picked it up and said, "What is it, Alice."
I heard the air come out of him as he swore and then snarled into the phone, "How long ago."
Thirty seconds passed as he listened and took the corners even faster than before. He hung up and stared out at the night fiercely. I wondered how I had never seen how dangerous Edward was. He was like a different creature than he was just one minute before. His teeth were clenched, and his now dark eyes glared and flickered as he gripped the steering wheel and pushed the pedal down into the floor.
"What's wrong?" I was almost afraid to know what could make him like this.
"The Volturi has taken Tanya and Bella."
"What?" I cried.
"Alice has been watching Stefan's coven, to see what they have planned for retaliation. A few days ago Alice saw that a member of Stefan's coven had gone to the Volturi to inform them that Tanya killed a fellow vampire to save a human. Alice saw members of the Guard coming to Moscow. At the time, she felt their intention was to visit those close to Stefan and Nikolai. She thought it was only to pay their respects for they did to Nikolai." Edward sighed heavily. "But apparently, she was deceived."
"Why did they take Tanya and Bella?"
They were waiting for the opportune moment to take Tanya. Apparently the Guard has been watching. Alice sees them taking Tanya before a tribunal to be judged for breaking two very serious rules."
"Two rules?" I breathed.
"The first is, for killing Stefan, to save you. The second," he sighed, "They must have determined that you are still alive, and still human. They will not stand for that. It seems that they have been waiting patiently for the opportune moment to make their move."
"What will they do to her, Edward?" My chest felt tight and nausea was creeping in.
"Right now, Alice doesn't know."
"She doesn't know?" I gasped.
"So it would appear," he muttered.
"What will Alexei do when he finds out about Tanya?" I asked in alarm.
Edward swore and said something about killing Alexei if he got close to Bella.
"But weren't these the same people that killed Nikolai?" I argued. "Why would Nikolai's coven be helping The Volturi?"
"It was Nikolai's choice . . . besides," his eyes darted sideways at me. "They will always side with their own when a human is involved."
"The Volturi." I breathed. "Are they still the same group of men that killed Tanya's mother?"
He looked at me through narrowed, demonic eyes, "The very ones." he growled.
"So, they are justified in killing a vampire for breaking the rules?"
He swallowed hard. "Extremely justified."
My throat was tight with fear.
His face changed from anger to desperation and he almost hissed as he spoke. "If they harm Bella in any way . . . . "
He didn't need to finish. There was no way I was going to lose Tanya now. I knew I would end dying for it, but I would somehow take them down with me. I would expose them. I would hurt them somehow. I stared out at the now dark night.
"Edward," I begged.
"Yes," he said flatly.
"Go faster."
The road before me was nothing but a blur.
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So, tomorrow is a doozy! You just wait . . . . . . . . . . . . Much more of the whole Cullen clan tomorrow. Love you all! What do you think?