It's ten days before Christmas and everything is getting hectic. Christian and I chose a date to get married. January 7.
I finally bought all the Christmas gifts well except for Christian. I'm not sure what to get him!
We had dinner at Lauren's place yesterday and it was delightful. She cooked a whole feast and we all got to know each other a bit more. Her kids opened up more to us and they are really fun people. They turn 21 a week after my wedding.
Holy fuck, I still can't believe I'm getting married!
Mom arrives tomorrow and she's staying till after the wedding. I'm excited to have her here for almost a month. I've been waiting for her to arrive to go wedding dress shopping. Christian already told me I have no budget but I'd still feel bad wasting so much money.
Today Jessica and I have the day off because we're going bridesmaid/maid of honor dress shopping. Well hopefully we'll find something today. We have an appointment at a dress boutique at 11am. Christian called and had the store closed down for at least three hours. I'm not even sure how much that cost him!
I decided to go with the silver decorations so the girls dresses will be light gray. It's more winter-ish and it works beautifully. We've already ordered the centerpieces and Christian once again took charge of the venue.
I'm on my way over there now and I just got a text from Kate letting me know she's already there with Jessica and Mia. When I arrive I'm immediately let in. Christian wanted to assign security for me today but I told him no. It feels weird not having Sawyer as my security anymore and Christian hasn't assigned anyone new so just dropping someone on me today didn't feel right. I pleaded to go out alone and he gave in. Plus, he closed the damn store down for a few hours!
"Ana! Hey!" Jessica hugs me. "Here, your man emailed me this morning and told me to give you this." She hands over a letter and I open it.
Oh my god, is he serious!?
"I have a leave of absence!? What the fuck!?"
"He doesn't want you to go back to work till after the wedding. He thinks you're stressing already."
"I can't just leave work! Who's going to do my work and why would he think this is a good idea!?"
"Hey take it up with the boss I'm just the messenger" Jessica says. "Don't think about it now. I'm so ready to try on dresses."
For the next two hours the girls try on a few dresses. We looked at some other colors first just to keep an open mind but we ended up going with gray dresses. We also decided to add a dash of red. The girls bouquet, and mine, will be white gardenias with a single red rose. Just to give it a bit of color. Yesterday I bought Phoebe's dress. We had a mommy-daughter day. Her dress is really puffy from the waist down. From the waist up is simple with small rhinestones. I also bought her a delicate, white flower crown.
"Okay, last dress, Ana." Kate says from behind the dressing room. "I know you liked the other one but girl.. This is one looks amazing"
"I agree," Mia says. "I'm loving this."
All three ladies come out and I'm blown away. It's a silver/grayish chiffon dress with lace appliqués. Absolutely beautiful. They turn around and I'm absolutely in love!
"This!" I says. "This one is it! I love it!"
"Really? You don't want to look anymore?" Mia asks with a smile.
"NO! This is it! I mean it, wow, it's just so elegant and beautiful."
"Great, I'll go over to the lady and tell her these are the dresses" Jessica says and I nod.
Mia and Kate go change and Jessica comes back with the lady. She asks me if there will be any alterations and I shake my head. When all the girls are finally out their dresses the lady takes them to charge them.
"You're fiancé already gave me his card info so charging the dresses was a quick thing." She folds the dresses neatly and places them into a big square elegant box and handing them to the girls. "Thank you for shopping with us, have a great day and congratulations to- oh my" she cuts off looking behind me. I look back too and we see a whole bunch of paparazzi arriving from the window. "Let me get the manager."
She quickly goes to the back and gets the manager. Who's a guy.
"I'm sorry, ladies. I'll try to get them to leave."
He goes outside to talk to them but they won't bulge. They begin to take photos and I turn.
My phone buzzes with a text.
Hey, are you done dress shopping? I thought I'd go with you to do the invitations. I left work.
Christian, hey. Babe I'm stuck at the dress store now. Paparazzi just arrived.
Fuck, I'm on my way.
Nearly ten minutes later Christian arrives but stays in the car. He only gets out to get on the drivers side. Taylor first walks the girls to their car then he walks me to Christian.
"Give me your key, I'll drive your car." I dig into my bag and hand them to him.
"Miss Steele! Over here!"
"Miss Steele, are you really engaged to Mr. Grey?"
"Miss Steele, how did you two meet?"
"Is it true Mr. Grey begged you to marry him?"
What the fuck?
"Excuse me?" I turn back as say. "You might want to fire the person who's giving you all of this false information." When I reach the car I quickly step in and Christian takes off. "At least the kids weren't around this time."
"Yeah. So, how was it."
"I had a good time. We found their dresses. Oh, and I found out I'm in a leave of absence. Care to explain?"
"I just don't want you to be stressed with work and wedding preparations plus the kids will be around much more since they soon go on winter break." He grabs my hand and kisses it.
"Christian, I can't just stop working. Just because I'm marrying the boss doesn't me I should be going in and out of work whenever. It wouldn't be fair to the rest of the workers." I sigh.
"Baby, it's just till after the wedding. And honeymoon."
"That would mean missing work for about six weeks!" I exclaim.
"Babe, just do this. Take these six weeks off. Please? For over five years you've been working your butt off. Handling a child, school and work. I'm pretty positive it's been difficult to find alone time. Be selfish for once, do this for yourself. Take this time off to relax and plan this important day. Don't over work yourself with wedding preparations and a job, oh, and kids. Your mom will be here tomorrow and it'll be great to spend as much time as you can until she goes back. Just take it easy."
"Fine, okay, but I'll be back at work right after the honeymoon. I love working at GEH. It's a great environment and I love getting to see you all the time. Plus, Jessica is really great. I feel like I learn something new each day."
"That's fine," he says. "Your job will be ready for you when you get back. Now come on, let these invitations sent to make."
"Oh! The lady said she could have them done by Sunday afternoon but it will cost a bit extra."
"Money is no issues, you know that" He looks over a me.
"I know," I sigh "I just don't like the idea of spending so much money."
"Babe, it's fine. I have enough. Remember?"
"You, not me. I'm not use to this whole spending without a budget." I pout.
"Well get used to it. I'm willing to spend anything to get you what you want for our day."
"What do you want, though?" I ask.
"For you to be happy with the final result." I smile and look away. Can this man be any more perfect?
After we get the invitations sent to make we go home. Dad told us he'll be picking up Teddy and Phoebe today. So we'll be kid free till 5pm. When I get home I flop on the bed and get on my phone while Christian goes to talk to Taylor. My phone lights up with a call. I don't recognize the number.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Ana, it's Mariana. Lauren's daughter"
"I remember" I giggle. "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, I asked Ray for your number. I hope you don't mind. I was wondering if you could do me a favor?"
"Oh.. Sure. What's up?" I ask.
"A week before thanksgiving I didn't turn in an assignment since I was sick with fever and runny nose and whatnot. That made my grade drop to a B but I'm shooting for an A. My professor is letting me makeup the grade and gave me a different assignment. He asked me to interview someone who's had struggles but have overcome them. You know, something inspiration to show others that any obstacle can be defeated. Your dad has mentioned you had your daughter when you were 17. You juggled being a teen mom and senior year which isn't easy. You also took on college, while working part time and raising your child; which is more difficult. And look at you now. You have a successful job, a beautiful little girl, an amazing fiancé and a, soon to be, adorable son. You didn't let the fact that you had Phoebe at a young age stop you. In fact, it motivated you and you didn't become a statistic. So I was wondering if you could answer some questions so I can write it about you.."
The stupid smile on my face won't go away. She wants to use to as an example to always keep moving forward and I'm all for it.
"I would love to! I'll text you my email and send away. I'll email back the answers as soon as I'm finished. I'm not doing anything at the moment."
"Oh my god thank you so much! This means I'll get it done early! I have to send it on the 26th since he'll be submitting the final grades on the 27th. Oh my goodness, thank you so much Ana!" She squeals.
"You're welcome, it would be my pleasure." I tell her. She then hangs up with another squeal and I text her my email. No later than two minutes, I get her email and I begin to read her questions.
"Who were you on the phone with?" Christian says coming out the bathroom. "You didn't even notice when I came into the room"
"Mariana," I smile. "She just wants me to answer some questions for her homework."
"Oh, what do you want to answer?"
"Come lay with me," I pat the empty space next to me and he lays down. His eyes are glued in my phone screen.
It's only give questions.
It's basically a small interview. I came up with five simple questions regarding what you went through. Thank you for doing this once again!
1. Getting pregnant at such a young age can be frightening, what were you initial thoughts and reaction?
2. Was the father involved?
3. a. Was there a point in your life that it go to stressful that it made you want to give up?
b. Besides your daughter, what else would keep you motivated to keep going?
4. Entering high school and seeing that teen pregnancy occurs often, did you ever find yourself thinking that it can happen to you?
5. Is there anything you would like to tell new teen moms out there? And, what is something you'd tell teen girls who are sexually active.
Hmm. Easy.
I click reply on the email and type away.
You're absolutely welcome, Mariana. I'm honored you'd choose me.
1. Well honestly my initial reaction was to cry. Boy, did I cry. Every single swear word was going through my head. I felt as if everything came crashing down and I messed everything up. I knew I'd disappoint my parents and I became scared to tell them. My mom doesn't live with my dad and I but I always had a close relationship with her. I called her crying at midnight and told her. The next day she caught a flight and came. It was definitely a scary moment. I didn't know what I had to do next.
2. No, once he found out I was pregnant he bailed. He chose parties and the college life instead of his daughter. Which is fine now, I don't care. His loss. But back then, it made things harder since now it was all on me.
3. A. Yes! So many times actually. All in college. Juggling a baby girl, a job and school was not easy at all. It became too hectic and way too stressful. I felt the pressure so many times and it make me want to quit and give up. I would often call my dad crying saying I couldn't do it anymore. It was all too much. But eventually I got used to the hectic-ness. It became a part of me to juggle so many things at once.
B. Besides my daughter being my motivation I kept thinking of the future. I kept asking myself "do you really want to find yourself working three jobs at retail? Is this the kind of future you want? Don't you want to give your daughter everything?". Thinking about the fact that I can give my daughter a great life and I can also be a successful single mom kept me pushing to do my best. At the end it would all be worth it.
4. No, I don't think anyone ever thinks it'll happen to them. I always told myself it wouldn't happen to me because I would be smart about it. But mistakes often occur and, well, it happened to me.
5. To new teen moms: don't give up. Trust me when I tell you it'll all be worth it. Scream, cry, punch thing, bang other things but don't give up. I promise you that achieving it all will feel amazing. To girls that are sexually active: BE SAFE. BE SAFE. BE SAFE. Take birth control pills or go on the shot. Make him wear a condom. Girls, if you're feeling pressure to have sex don't do it. Just know that if you think you're grown enough to have sex you have to be grown enough to handle any consequences.
A something extra:
To guys- if you're man enough to stick it in don't be a coward and walk away when she gets pregnant. It takes two to tango.
I click send and look over at Christian.
"This is why I love you. You'll do anything to achieve a goal in life and that's very admirable about you. You're my strong and beautiful fiancée" he says.
"And you're my inspirational and handsome fiancé. I love you."
"And I love you"
He gives me a passionate kiss and I know that it will lead to one thing and another.
By the time the kids arrived I was worn but he was full of energy. When the kids went to sleep we went at it again another two times.
Something cute and simple. The next chapter there will be a bit of drama. A lot of you have been asking me if Ana knows about the BDSM stuff and if Elena would make an appearance. I didn't talk about it after you guys brought it up for a reason. I wanted to wait till the last minute to tell you that his dark past will come to light and Elena will make an appearance.
Let me just say that Ana does know about Christian's childhood with his biological mom and she knows he had a rough teenage years but he never went into details about it. At all. So lets see how Ana handles it all when he starts to talk about his secret.. if he even tells her ;)