Weeks passed.
Hermione was trying and failing miserably to throw herself into her school work like she would normally do when her social life was causing her issues. Her birthday came and went without fanfare. The leaves had changed color and started to drop. Halloween was racing closer every day.
She had shamefully kept the jumper that Sirius had loaned her during their Hogsmeade weekend, sometimes even sleeping with it. It was a bundle of fibers that somehow held a promise of the future she remembered. It also reminded her that she could not be with Sirius, especially now that Harry's form was solidifying everyday in her locket, with James and Lily growing closer each passing week.
Though, they had yet to make it official.
Both Lily and Marlene had come back from the Hogsmeade weekend over the moon with joy and hadn't noticed Hermione's withdrawn nature upon her own return. Marlene was too busy gushing about how animalistic Remus had been, taking her by surprise and fueling her fantasies of him carrying her off in his strong arms to his lair to do unmentionable things with her.
Hermione smiled thinking of the pair. They certainly weren't a conventional couple, but Marlene's vivaciousness and street smarts complimented Remus's book smarts and quiet presence very well. They made a striking pair, too. Hermione imagined them as Ares and Aphrodite: Remus with his rugged handsomeness, wildness hiding under the surface and scars of past battles, and Marlene was all soft curves, feminine beauty, obsessed with love.
She blushed, thinking of her Professor in the future. He didn't seem to have any of the same lusty passion Marlene reported he had now.
"He told me he was afraid of hurting me," she said with a sigh, pressing her fingers to her lips. "How considerate, right? I feel like he treats me like a prized possession - like he doesn't want to let me go. It's so romantic."
Hermione couldn't help but frown at her words. She knew that Marlene was just misinterpreting Remus's intentions and that he was really concerned about Moony hurting her. Still, it wasn't Hermione's secret to tell and so she said nothing to the girl, except to share that she was happy for her.
"It's not fair! You all get romantic interludes and all I got was scrubbing cauldrons for Slughorn!" Mary complained.
"Well, I am sure that Hermione could always set you up with Peter," Marlene teased.
"Ugh, no thanks!" Mary had squealed, making a face. "I caught him staring down the shirt of a Ravenclaw in class the other day. What a perv."
Lily had been mostly quiet about her date, but she couldn't help but blush when she was caught calling him "James" and not "Potter". Hermione thought it was adorable and she was so glad for her friends.
On Sirius's part, he did make good on his promise to try to make her his. He always sat with her in the library, unless he had Quidditch practice. He brought her interesting Transfiguration articles from a quarterly magazine and asked her what she thought about the methods discussed. When she suggested he might ask Professor McGonagall instead, he gave her that barking laugh and told her that McGonagall wasn't nearly as pretty as she was. He'd managed to get them partnered for a Charms assignment, so they'd have to spend even more time together than they currently were. He was constantly giving her innocent little touches, with anything but innocent intent. Even his immature pranks made her smile and laugh. It was driving her up the wall. It made her constantly rethink her decision not to see where things went.
Her initial plan was to make as little of an impression as possible, but it was clear that she had already failed miserably at that. She had helped get James and Lily back on the right tracks, she was Remus's study partner, and she had snogged Sirius more than once. At this point, wouldn't Sirius remember her as the girl who turned him down? Repeatedly?
And she so wanted to feel loved. She'd just have to accept the heartbreak of returning to her own time and seeing Sirius, former prisoner of Azkaban and twenty years older, seeing her as nothing more than a stupid, love struck girl. She couldn't bear that. Not to mention that the moment she returned to her own time, he would be moved onto the next girl. Wasn't that his modus operandi?
But still, this Sirius just made her so comfortable and he was such a good friend. Not to mention that she liked the way he sometimes put his hand on her lower back, or the way that he seemed to daze off while she explained something to him in the library, or the way that his grey eyes lit up when he talked about Quidditch.
And so, this was why she found herself walking around the Black Lake with him one Saturday afternoon.
It was rather chilly for an October weekend, but Hermione was delighted to share in the warmth that was radiating off of Sirius as she walked next to him. He was chatting away about the Slytherin-Gryffindor Quidditch match that was coming up later in the month. Apparently Regulus was a seeker and quite a good one at that. It made Hermione sad that the brothers had grown so far apart, but having met Regulus, albeit briefly, she could understand why. It almost seemed like there were two Regulus's in Sirius's mind - pre-Hogwarts and post-Hogwarts.
Sirius stopped slowly, staring up at the castle with a melancholy smile on his face. "I love Hogwarts. It was the first place that felt like home to me," he revealed. "I can't believe that in just a few months, I will be leaving and not coming back."
Hermione nodded, having felt a similar sense of belonging at Hogwarts. She loved her parents, but she also knew that she didn't belong to their world anymore. She never really belonged to the Muggle world at all. It was the first time that she wasn't weird for having magic occur around her.
"What will you do, once you graduate?" she asked, curious. She had never really taken the time to get to know the adult Sirius. Rather, she was content to scold him about the way he treated Harry like one of his mates rather than his charge.
"I am going to be an Auror. I've wanted to be one for a few years now," he said, confidently. "What about you? What job will you be working on?"
Hermione stopped for a moment. She hadn't really thought about what she'd like to do before, especially since she'd only just sat her OWLs and hadn't even gotten her results yet. Merlin, she hoped she passed them all. She hadn't even given them a thought since she'd arrived, despite being consumed with studying them for the whole year prior. "I don't know, really," she answered.
"Come on, Hermione. A witch as smart as you - you could do anything you wanted! Any job would be lucky to have you," he told her honestly.
As much as she wished that was true, she knew that it wasn't because of her blood status. A lot of places still didn't want to hire a muggleborn, even if she was the brightest witch in a century. But, she couldn't really tell Sirius any of this because he thought she was related to Dumbledore, which meant that she must be at least a little bit magical.
"Well, I don't know if that's true. I am a...a woman after all," Hermione said, lamely.
"Trust me, things are turning around quickly. More and more women are in the workplace and I bet you'd be able to break down any barriers," he said, smiling at her. A true smile, not the cocky smirk she'd become so used to. "No one in their right mind would try to make you into a housewitch. Come on, if you could have any job you wanted, what would it be?"
Hermione bit her lip, considering. "I've...I've always been concerned about magical creatures," she revealed.
Sirius stiffened beside her. She knew he was thinking about Remus.
"We as witches and wizards are very cruel to House Elves, Centaurs, Merpeople... Werewolves. Some of the laws on the books are simply barbaric. I would like to change those, I guess," she explained.
Sirius nodded, relaxed. "I think you could be very good at that," he said, stepping closer to her. The wind was whipping one stubborn lock of hair into her face and he tucked it behind her ear, his fingertips gently running along her cheek. He was too bloody attractive for his own good, with his aristocratic cheekbones and nose, and his eyes which were so grey and stormy, but emotional and passionate, as well.
He tipped his face towards her, his lips finally slanting against hers. Hermione eagerly responded, nipping his lower lip. Sirius groaned into her mouth, his nose rubbing against her own. He pressed his hands into her curls in an effort to hold her in place so that she wouldn't try to flee.
Tentatively, his tongue brushed against the seam of her lips, begging to be let inside. She granted him entrance and their tongues met in a feverish clash to be as close as possible. Hermione thought that Sirius's prowess at snogging ought to be criminal. It made her want to change her mind about everything and really, it was unfair to know what he was capable of, just to have to give it up. To not have it anymore.
He made her feel complete, safe, warm, happy content. She could just stay here forever in Sirius's warm embrace...
Finally, when the need for air was too great, the pair separated. Sirius's forehead rested against her own and Hermione could only see his face amongst the black hair that surrounded his face. And then she remembered the she shouldn't be involved with him at all. Her heart ached to remember that she had to go back to her time. She'd already changed too much.
Hermione pulled back, looking upset. "I shouldn't have done that," she whispered.
Sirius was annoyed. "Why not, Hermione? It's bloody obvious that I like you and I think that you like me, too...Why do you keep pushing me away?" he demanded.
"Well, you were only supposed to be up for a casual snog! You weren't supposed to want anything else after the one time," she said, upset with him. Why did it seem like he was the one being so unreasonable? He was the one that was making her feel all of this longing. If he'd just stop being so bloody charming, Hermione was sure she could resist him fully.
Sirius didn't even bother hiding the hurt from his face. "I guess I deserve that," he said, backing away from her. The separation was maddening. "But I at least deserve an explanation."
She frowned. It wouldn't hurt to tell him part of the truth, would it? "I...I am leaving soon. Shortly after Halloween. Uncle Albus is sending me back now that..." she trailed off, hoping his imagination would fill in the blanks. "I will be going into hiding. I don't know how long I will be gone."
Lie.
She knew that to Sirius Black she would be gone for about thirteen years before she met him again - her as a third year student and him as an escaped convict. She had allowed people to think that her parents had been attacked by Death Eaters and it seemed that Sirius accepted it as well.
"It doesn't make sense to get involved because it won't last," she added, hoping he'd understand.
Sirius looked as though the wind had been knocked from him. He had never really wanted a relationship to last. If things were still fun, then they were still fun. But if not, it was time to move on. So why did he want a relationship with Hermione so badly?
"I understand," he said, his voice gravelly. Hermione didn't think that he was fully ready to let her go. "Well you at least come to my birthday party tonight? We are sneaking out to Hogsmeade."
Hermione worried her lip. "I don't know if that's a good idea. It's against school rules," she said.
"Come on, even Lily is going to be there," he whined, trying to lighten the dark mood that had settled between them. "It's my birthday, Hermione!"
"Oh, alright. I'll be there!" she finally conceded, after thinking about all the rule breaking she'd done with Harry and Ron. When was the last time she'd ever done anything fun and against the rules for herself? "Well, let's get back inside. We should try to finish our Charms essay, since I'll wager you won't want to work on it tomorrow?" she asked pointedly.
Sirius gave her his crooked smile and nodded. "No, I think I'll get pissed tonight," he said with a wink. It seemed any unpleasantness between the two of them was avoided.
For now.