Disclaimer: Much to by annoyance I don't, in fact, own The Rocky Horror Picture Show. 20th Century Fox and Richard O'Brien do. Lucky sod...

A/N: In this chapter Columbia has the baby. Hopefully it isn't too strange.

Whoever says that childbirth is quick and relatively painless is a liar.

Babies don't just show up. No, you must sit in a hospital room for nearly 12 damn hours and be in pain and curse at people and throw a television remote at your stupid boyfriend who fell asleep and have an IV in your arm so you can't move around too much and wish that those bloody annoying nurses could just give you painkillers of some kind.

And then it's over and you fall asleep.

The baby was a perfectly healthy girl. We named her Rosaline Katerina Ophelia Scott, RKO for short. I don't think Eddie's uncle approved of the nickname. But we wanted to name her after a movie company, since I'm named after Columbia Pictures.

Because the universe is stupid, I had to stay in the hospital for a few days. They make you do that for some reason.

Only a few people were allowed to visit.

Thankfully one of those people was Magenta.

"I bet you're glad you and Riffraff can't have kids," I grumbled.

"Actually we can. Incest isn't a problem back on Transylvania," she replied.

"Good for you."

Finally I went home.

Eddie's mom's old room had been redesigned as a nursery. It looked quite nice all things considered. The walls were a purple-grey color. Nothing like the castle.

"I didn't vant you to think of ze castle. Eddie says zat ze lab vas painted pink. It vould be bad to remind you of zat terrible place," Uncle Everett explained.

"It's wonderful," I replied.

None of us realized how noisily babies cry until 3 AM that first night back.

It woke everyone up. I was the only person actually in her room, since it was my job to take care of her. Soon enough Eddie stood in the room, too, looking very confused.

He wanted to play rock n' roll records for her.

"That's a really stupid idea. Noisy music will scare her," I replied.

Those first few weeks were a nightmare. After a while Rosaline calmed down a bit and everyone got a proper night's worth of sleep.

Even after the baby was born there will still things I couldn't do. Anything involving chemicals or something. That meant no bright pink dye or peroxide.

I'd been looking forward to dyeing my hair again!

We'd begun planning the wedding only weeks after I'd gotten back. Actually, most of the wedding had been already planned by Eddie's uncle. Now it was just time for dress fittings and sending out invites. And choosing bridesmaids.

"I only know two people besides you guys," I pointed out.

"Vhich people?"

"Magenta and Riffraff. I could probably get Magenta to be a bridesmaid though."

"Riff could be best man," Eddie added.

"Vhat about Brad und Janet? Zey are friends of ours."

I hadn't though of them in a while. Weren't they engaged? Or had they already gotten married?

Why don't ya ask Janet to be a bridesmaid?" Eddie asked.

"Maybe I should," I replied.

What a lie! I couldn't invite her. No, she was too normal. The most normal person to ever set foot at the castle. She's what I could've been if I hadn't run off with a band in '71.

"Fine. They'll be invited, and she'll be asked to be a bridesmaid," I said with a sigh.

"Vell, zat vill be nice! I zink zat I vill invite a few other ex-students, friends of Brad und Janet."

"Just don't let those friends of yours from Argentina show up," Eddie muttered, clearly very stressed-out.

Both his uncle and I burst out laughing.

"Eddie, he really doesn't have any friends living in Argentina," I explained.

"I must say, I didn't actually believe you vould fall for zat. Und you believed it for zis many years! Ha!"

"Am I really that stupid?" he asked, after a moment.

"Yes," I replied cheerfully.

And then Rosaline began to cry. She always interrupted things!

We actually had the wedding in June.

It took quite a bit of time to explain earthling wedding tradition to the Transylvanians. Poor Eddie was given the task of making sure Riffraff didn't wear his favorite bloodstained shirt. Also, alcohol was banned from the ceremony.

Magenta was quite annoyed that she had to wear 'that ugly pastel tent'. On the condition that she wouldn't wear fishnets or makeout with her brother at the ceremony, I let her get the dress altered to be much more fitted. It looked much better on her then, anyway.

"Nobody is allowed to flash people during picture time, okay?" I told both bridesmaids, just after the last rehearsal (two days before the actual wedding).

Janet wrinkled her nose. "Why would anyone do that?"

"Columbia used to, didn't she? Her breasts often fell out of her those corset tops she always wore. You were quite talented," Magenta said sweetly.

"I don't think you needs to say that," I muttered.

"What's happened to you?" Magenta asked, looking quite worried.

"Hmm?"

"You used to be much more fun. Living with respectable persons has made you grow up too much," Magenta mused, a strange sadness in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Don't be sorry. I think we three need a party. One last night of partying before Columbia becomes Mrs. Scott." The way Magenta said this made me worry slightly.

Janet giggled. "Ooh, Betty and I watched Guys & Dolls the evening before my wedding! It was so much fun!"

"How drunk did you get?"

The cheerful expression on Janet's face slowly faded into one of innocent confusion. "Drunk?"

"Yes. Drunk. How drunk did you get?"

"Neither of us drink."

This surprised me, and horrified Magenta.

"We'll see about that!"

A/N: Poor Janet! Since this is an AU where she and Brad never got seduced by Frank, she still a boring, normal person.

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