Disclaimer: I don't own The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

A/N: I really must thank my wonderful reviewers. You guys are practically the only reason I write this stuff. I'm glad people like it! And I'm not as grateful as I should be.

The next few weeks I spent far too much time in my old bedroom at the castle. Nobody stopped me from going there almost daily, since both Eddie and Dr. Scott were busy at work.

Betty, now quite pregnant with a little boy she planned to call Terrence, didn't really seem to mind looking after Rosaline.

"Janet says she has pneumonia," Magenta said with a chuckle, after our second hook-up.

I raised an eyebrow. "And that matters why?"

"She'll be so busy have pneumonia that she can't have sex."

"Is that an invitation to another meeting?" I asked, giggling.

"Obviously."

And so we carried on our little affair until Christmastime.

In some strange fit of madness, Eddie decided to host a little party on Christmas Eve. The fact that it was on Christmas Eve wasn't the problem, of course. No. The guest list was the problem.

He'd invited Janet, Brad, Betty, Ralph, Magenta, and Riffraff.

The last two people probably wouldn't get along with everyone else. Apparently the reason Janet had caught pneumonia involved the castle's pool and the main heater being broken. I never learned much more of that incident.

For the party, I was required to wear the usual clothing of an average American housewife. No glittery corsets or fishnets now. I had to wear this blue polka dot dress! And navy blue shoes with practically no heel! And a pair of sodding white stockings!

I was not happy. At all.

Oh, how I envied the outfit Magenta wore! A fitted black velvet dress, fishnets, red lipstick, and heels. Lucky her.

Riffraff wore his best bloodstained button down shirt and his least shabby jacket (among other things). He hadn't worn his fake hunchback, though. I suppose he wanted to look ordinary. Not that bloodstained shirts are ordinary...

Janet wore a pastel floral-print dress, while Betty wore a hideous ensemble that included lots of green and red plaid. Their husbands (and Eddie) wore perfectly respectable suits. So did Dr. Scott.

There was a tree in the living room.

Of course, there was supposed to be. It's Christmas. Yet it all felt rather silly.

Since it was only a party for friends, we weren't going to eat a fancy dinner. Just snobby people appetizers. You know, little bits of salmon on crackers and the like. And champagne. No proper food, no proper alcohol. That's why I don't like this sort of party.

After eating a few bites of salmon and toasting a few toasts to lots of silly things, it was present-opening time.

"Here's a card for each of you," Betty said, handing everyone an envelope.

"She hand drew the pictures," Ralph said proudly.

My card happened to have a drawing of a cat (somehow wearing a Christmas sweater) on it. I wasn't sure why. It had a tacky little poem about Christmas. Actually, it might've been a few lines from a public domain Christmas carol.

All of the so-called presents were just cards… except for one.

Riffraff gave Eddie a folder of some kind. "Open it now… if you'd… like."

And he did. I caught a glimpse of a few photographs and their seemed to be a paper or two carefully typed upon.

When Eddie held up one of the photos, I blushed.

"My, my! Is that what you did when I was sick?" Janet asked, after a moment of horribly awkward silence.

Brad shuddered in horror. "I really didn't need to see that sort of thing, even as just a photograph."

"Oh my… Nobody can get into that position!" Betty squealed, looking quite terrified.

"Actually, they can. Would you like me to demonstrate?" Magenta asked sweetly.

Betty hid behind her husband.

"Is zat really you und Magenta?" Dr. Scott asked, after carefully examining many of the pictures.

I took a deep breath. "Yes."

"What are you doing, though?" Eddie asked, raising an eyebrow.

Magenta laughed. "What does it look like? That's called ora-"

"Shut up, Magenta," I hissed.

"What? I want to see how much I can scare them! I'm pretty sure Betty will faint quite easily, though I'll have to describe things more graphically to frighten everyone else."

"As your brother and your most faithful lover, I order you to stop talking. Right. Now!" Riffraff said coldly.

"Brother and..." Betty began to say, then fainted.

That was quite an eventful evening.

A/N: If I'm allowed to have favorite lines that I wrote myself, I must say that I'm particularly proud of the phrase: "She'll be so busy having pneumonia that she can't have sex."

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