SO,

good news,

no more waiting a week for the chapters because I have finished writing this fic,

I will be uploading the next 18 chapters for y'all to enjoy so smile :D

The content, as I have always said, can get heavy so viewers discretionis advised

Anime4us

Chapter 12

Haruichi lay staring at the wooden bottom of Kurmoachi's bunk.

Why won't he call me by my given name? He does for Ryosuke.. It's not fair...

The pinklet began to chew on the inside of his cheek as these thoughts floated through his head.

Ah! I need to sleep!

He flopped onto his side before bunching the blankets up beside him.

I'm gonna be tired tomorrow...

He thought before sighing.

0_0_0_0

"Why did you do that?" Miyuki asked, ears tingeing a dark pink.

"Let's just say that I completely understand your problem of loving someone so much to point that it scares you that you could even love them so much."

Miyuki kept his eyes on Sawamura as said boy smiled down at him.

"Did you just confess to me?" He mumbled.

Sawamura's smile faltered as a blush consumed his cheeks.

"I... uh... Maybe?.." The pitcher said, flubbing over his words.

Miyuki watched in amazement as his obviously flustered pitcher refused to make eye content with him. He reached out and wrapped an arm around the southpaw's waist, ignoring the flare of pain from the newly inflicted scar, and pulled him into the bed.

Sawamura let out a small shriek of surprise before his eyes finally landed on Miyuki's. Miyuki was staring down at the pitcher, wonder lacing itself into his features.

"Why?" The catcher whispered.

"What do you mean why?" Sawamura asked with incredibility.

"How?" Miyuki prodded.

"You're not making any sense!" Sawamura hissed.

"I don't understand..." Miyuki muttered.

"Me either!" Sawamura said, clearly getting annoyed with the catcher.

Miyuki dipped his head and found Sawamura's lips, silencing the pitcher's complaints.

How can he like someone as broken as me?...

Miyuki felt Sawamura relax underneath him. He felt the other boy's arms wrap themselves around his neck and pull him down so that there wasn't any space between them anymore. He could feel Sawamura's heart beat resonating through himself.

I'm only going to hurt you...

Miyuki made to pull away from the pitcher but Sawamura only solidified his hold.

He leaned back slightly so that their lips parted. He watched Sawamura pant slightly, blush cascading all the way down his neck.

"Have I answered your questions?" The pitcher answered with a sly smile.

"Why me?" Miyuki murmured before pressing his forehead against Sawamura's shoulder.

"That's a stupid question." Sawamura said before huffing.

"Answer it anyways." Miyuki murmured.

"It's because it is you." Sawamura murmured.

"How evasive." Miyuki said before chuckling softly.

"Now you know how it is to have conversations with yourself." The pitcher retorted.

Miyuki merely smirked.

"You're an idiot." Miyuki muttered.

"And yet you like it." Sawamura stated matter of factly.

"I won't deny it." Miyuki said before sighing.

0_0_0_0

Furuya sat up and rubbed at his eyes. His back hurt from falling asleep on the hard wood floor. He got up on his feet, swaying slightly because he was so tired.

All this liking and not liking... It makes me want to sleep forever...

The pitcher flopped onto his bunk and closed his eyes.

Hey Haruichi... Do you think you could ever look my way?... Or was I never even an option?...

Furuya sighed into his pillow heavily. A glance at his clock told him he better get some more sleep if he wanted to not be cranky for practice tomorrow.

0_0_0_0

"Are you going to let me sleep or?.."

Sawamura blushed even louder than he already was. Miyuki wouldn't deny it, He loved teasing the southpaw to the point where the other was pink with embarrassment.

Sawamura slowly pulled his arms away from Miyuki, allowing the catcher to roll over and next to him. Something out of the corner of his pitcher's eyes caught his attention.

"Oh... You're bleeding."

Three words. Five syllables. Fifteen letters. It was all it took to shatter the strong and confident boy that everyone saw the catcher to be.

Miyuki wrenched his arm away from his pitcher.

"Kazuya?.." Sawamura asked softly, reaching for his catcher's arm.

"Dont touch me!" Miyuki hissed, sitting up so quick it made him dizzy.

He missed the look of hurt that passed through the southpaw's features as he took a second to focus. After he had gathered his bearings, he tried to stand up, but two arms made their way around his waist, stopping him from getting up.

"Let go." He demanded, his voice promising a problem if he was left unanswered.

"I didn't know..." Sawamura whispered.

Miyuki clenched his teeth. Why could he only feel that his sweater was damp now? Why hadn't he noticed before his pitcher did?

Sawamura pressed his forehead in between Miyuki's shoulder blades on his back.

"I didn't know that it was this bad..." The southpaw finished.

"Stop it." Miyuki half growled. "Let go of me. I don't need your goddamn pity!"

"I wonder why it is..." Sawamura said in a soft voice.

"Shut up. Let go." Miyuki started to struggle, but the pitcher merely steeled his hold on the older boy.

"Why am I not allowed to be concerned about you?.."

"Stop it." Miyuki said, his free hand pushing against the pitchers intertwined fingers. "You... I can't.. You wouldn't understand!" Miyuki continued.

Miyuki could feel his heart going way too fast and had an inkling that his pitcher could as well.

"Kazuya..."

The way his pitcher said his name made him want to puke. It held so much emotion in it. So much love that he didn't deserve.

"Let me go!" The catcher hissed.

"Calm down." The pitcher demanded in a very serious tone.

The tone scared Miyuki. He had never heard his pitcher speak with so much power before. He glanced out the corner of his glasses.

"Why won't you let me go?" The catcher whispered.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura felt himself shiver slightly at Miyuki's broken voice.

I... I had no idea... How come I never noticed?

"I'm never going to let you go..." The pitcher whispered. "God... I'm such a failure as a battery partner..." The southpaw continued, clenching his jaw.

Miyuki had stopped struggling.

"I don't get it... You should be disgusted..." Miyuki whispered.

"Damn it Kazuya, stop thinking everyone is out to get you!" The pitcher hissed, levelling his catcher with a harsh glare.

His eyes only soften when Miyuki flinched.

"Listen to me you four-eyed idiot and listen good." Sawamura began. "No more of this secrecy stuff. If you need someone to talk to, come to me. I don't care what it's about, come to me." He said, his voice harsh and demanding. "Don't move." He ordered before standing up.

The pitcher left the room, one destination in mind; the washroom. Picking up the supplies he needed, the pitcher made his way back to his room. He was pleased to see that Miyuki hadn't moved from where he had left him.

Sawamura closed his door and hit his light switch with his shoulder. Both he and Miyuki recoiled from the harsh lighting they weren't used to. The southpaw dumped his supplied on his bed before turning towards Miyuki. His eyes trailed to where he had noticed blood. Miyuki's green sweatshirt now held a burgundy splash to it.

"I'm taking your sweater off." Sawamura declared.

Miyuki didn't move, much less utter a word as his sweater was peeled off of him. Sawamura's eyes roamed both the catcher's arms, clearly unamused by the fact that they were both bandaged up.

"I'm taking the bandaging off." The pitcher said as he slowly unwrapped the blood splashed bandaging.

He reached over and grabbed the small face cloth that he had ran under warm water. He slowly dabbed at the skin that surrounded the gash that Miyuki had ripped across his skin. Miyuki winced when he got anywhere near the cut so he stayed away from it with the warm cloth. He was only cleaning the arm off. Every inch that he cleared scarlet from, he found a different scar. Each time he found a scar, it felt like a punch to the gut.

"I can do it..." Miyuki's voice seemed so hollow.

"No. I'm doing it." Sawamura said, forcing his voice to stay level.

He reached towards the cotton balls and rubbing alcohol.

"This is gonna hurt." The pitcher murmured.

He looked up into Miyuki's eyes, frowning at how empty they were.

Sawamura slowly unscrewed the cap around the rubbing alcohol and put some on the cotton ball. He set the bottle aside and took Miyuki's arm in his hands and gently dabbed the cotton ball on the ugly gash.

When Miyuki gasped in pain, Sawamura almost dropped the cotton ball as he looked up at his catcher.

"I'm sorry!" He apologized quickly before biting into his lip. "Just... bear with it for a little bit longer..."

When Sawamura had finished cleaning Miyuki's arm, he wrapped it in new bandaging before throwing the bloody bandaging into a bag in his small garbage. His eyes were drawn to Miyuki's sweatshirt pocket, seeing the bulge even though there was nobody wearing it.

He grabbed the bandaging and threw it in his bin. He heard something clatter against the ground and snapped his attention towards it. Miyuki's eyes bore into the offensive metal that lay on the ground mere feet from him.

"Garbage." Sawamura said with a satisfied nod before quickly grabbing the object and throwing it into the bin.

Once he was done, he pulled the bag out and tied it, hiding it in the corner of his room before going back towards Miyuki. He would throw it away tomorrow when no one was paying attention.

He bent down in front of his catcher and slowly wrapped his arms around the boy's waist. Miyuki flinched at the close contact, but Sawamura didn't pull away.

"I-"

"I'm so sorry..." Miyuki whispered, cutting off his pitchers words.

"Me too..." Sawamura whispered. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through all of that all alone Kazuya..."

Miyuki's arms slowly began to lift before he wrapped them around the pitcher.

"Why haven't you pushed me away? Why don't I disgust you?..." The catcher's voice was so broken, so afraid.

"Kazuya... I could never push you away..." Sawamura whispered.

Miyuki's arms slowly fell back down.

"You're gonna wake up tomorrow... And you're gonna realize that it's just too much... That I'm just not worth it..."

Sawamura chuckled bemusedly, making Miyuki tense.

"I don't think you realize... Just how... much I like you." Sawamura whispered before pulling away. "I'm not saying you're perfect Kazuya, you're far from it."

Miyuki had a frown on his lips as the pitcher spoke.

"But I will be here for you when you think you're alone. I'm right beside you. All the time. Whenever you need me." Sawamura promised.

"Don't make promises you can't keep idiot." Miyuki mumbled, turning his attention away from his pitcher.

0_0_0_0

"I will keep this promise to you Kazuya. I will never betray your trust." The fierce light in the pitcher's eyes caught Miyuki off guard.

I want to trust you... I really do... But I don't know how...

"I... Don't know what to say..."

Miyuki watched as Sawamura stood slowly. The pitcher bent down before pressing his lips against the catcher's forehead.

"Put your trust in me Kazuya. I need you as much as you need me." The pitcher murmured before walking over to his light switch and turning the lights off. "I'll see you in the morning, and don't worry... I won't tell anyone about this."

Miyuki watched the pitcher walk over to the blow up mattress.

"Eijun?"

"Hm?"

"Come here."

Miyuki waited for the pitcher to be mere inches from him before he pulled the boy in to the bed with him.

"I'm cold. Sleep in the bed with me." He muttered before throwing blankets over his pitcher.

"Goodnight Kazuya."

"Night Eijun…" Miyuki mumbled before slipping his glasses off and putting them on the overboard behind the bed.