Disclaimer: I don't own The Rocky Horror Picture Show.
A/N: This is nearly the end!
And, dear reviewers, things will turn out better later on for Magenta and Columbia. In the next chapter they'll get a happy-ish ending.
Hours after I recited that bizarre speech at Magenta, I was pacing around the study. Eddie and Uncle Everett were sitting on the couch. All three of us were trying to think of a way to solve the problem known as Magenta.
"Weren't you researching aliens or something?" I asked my- well, Eddie's- uncle.
"Nein, I vasn't. Ve really vere just pretending zat ve vere looking for UFOs. Ze actually project is a lot less fantastical. I von't say anything about it-"
Eddie raised an eyebrow.
"-except zat it doesn't involve any now-disbanded Deutsche political parties!"
I had to bit my lip to avoid laughing.
"But we really must get Magenta and Riffraff to leave, at least for a few years. My poor wife will be quite disappointed if they don't."
"I'm standing right here! Don't call me you 'poor wife'. Are we in a sexist 19th century novel now… or something?" I asked.
Both of them ignored me.
"Ach! I can't believe zat zere isn't a vay to defeat ze aliens," Uncle Everett cried.
I rolled my eyes.
"This isn't a cheap b-picture with aliens made of cardboard. This is real life. In real life you don't need an evil laser of doom to 'defeat' them. Anyway, their starship is shaped like a castle. We only have to worry if they're piloting a fleet of green flying saucers. Though-"
I thought nobody was listening as I rambled on and on. After a while I realized they were listening.
"Vhat vas zat about ze flying saucers?"
"I just wanted to see if you guys were listening," I explained with a shrug.
A rather awkward silence filled the study. It wasn't an ominous silence, more the sort you might 'hear' after a schoolboy of about 14 has made a particularly crude remark and the entire room isn't sure whether to giggle or call the BBC board of censorship.
"You know what?" Eddie said suddenly.
"Hmm?"
"The aliens have no actual motive to be here, as far as I can tell. Magenta can probably find other people to, er, have sex with. We could just suggest that they move to another world or even another area of Earth."
Uncle Everett beamed. "You really aren't as stupid as ve all zought!"
I gave him a Look and his cheerful expression faded into something much more mournful.
"Seriously, though. Doesn't anyone agree?"
"You know… the British are apparently very prudish. And who doesn't enjoy corrupting the innocent?" I said slowly.
"Do you mean we should send them to England?" Eddie asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Why not? I'm sure they'll like England!" I replied cheerfully.
"How vill ve do zis? Give zem a plane ticket und say 'auf wiedersehen'? Vhat sort of person does zat?"
"Why not be nice about it, and give them some fake papers? I'm sure you could get some things forged," I said, glancing at Uncle Everett.
I kneeled in front of him and grasped his hand. "And this is also for me. Uncle Everett, it's so I can finally be a proper earthling. Please just help us. We can send Magenta and Riffraff to England. Give them false names and back stories."
"Thinking of the back stories will be fun," Eddie added.
Uncle Everett sighed. "Fine. Ve can make up backstories as long as zey are realistic. Und getting a few forged documents isn't too hard."
And so, together we invented two characters: Margaret Ford and her dear friend Robert Prefect. Both are out of work actors from Guildford. They're planning to move to London to find work in the theatre there. Though the names were a bit… odd… the stories we made up made sense.
And so, together we invented two characters: Margaret Ford and her dear friend Robert Prefect. Both are out of work actors from Guildford. They're planning to move to London to find work in the theatre there. Though the names were a bit… odd, the stories we made up made sense. Well, enough sense.
Soon enough we'd finished 'plotting' everything.
I knew it would take a few days for Uncle Everett to get everything together. So I spent those days at home. I actually began top enjoy taking care of Rosaline for once. Looking at a smiling being that only exists because of you is lovely. And babies smile a lot. Maybe looking after her wouldn't be too terrible. Anyway, Betty was going to have her son any day now. I was in such an ordinary mood that I actually enjoyed a shallow conversation about baby clothes.
Anyway, about a week after Christmas, everything was prepared. All we needed to do was go to the castle, give Magenta the papers, and avoid getting seduced. The first two would be quite simple. The last… well, that's bound to be a challenge.
So that evening the three of us ('Auntie' Janet got to look after Rosaline) drove over to the Frankenstein place for the very last time. As we drove though the darkness I saw an abandoned house out of the corner of my eye. The exact same abandoned house in which Rosaline was conceived.
Where it all began.
I forced that thought to the back of my mind. Now was the time to focus on the future. A future where Magenta and her brother live in England…
Soon enough we reached the castle.
With far to cheerful a smile, I followed my husband and his uncle up the front walkway and to the looming doorway. Eddie knocked on the door.
"It's you!" Magenta squealed when she opened the door only moments later.
Her eyes were widened in shock. I couldn't tell if her face had paled because of all the makeup she wore. How lovely she looked. Her red lips-
And there I stopped myself. I forced myself to stare at the floor.
I wasn't allowed to think like that right now.
Please Review! (As Columbia and Magenta themselves once said: "More, more, more!")