I'm re-reading these chapters and I'm just like "Oh, my god, BLAST FROM THE PAST. So much more happens in the chapters to come."

Anime4us

Chapter 16

He hadn't gotten a wink of sleep last night.

I don't need you to give me empty promises.

Miyuki sat up with a growl of annoyance. He grabbed his glasses before padding across his room and picking up his phone, noticing a couple new cracks across the screen. The time screamed some unbearingly early hour in the morning.

There was no way he was going to sleep anymore, so the catcher threw on some clothes and grabbed his room keys before making his way to the door.

What am I even going to do?

The catcher turned right back around and rummaged around his desk until he found his wallet.

Coffee at four in the morning… I'm gonna fall asleep in class.

With another sigh the catcher left his room, locking the door behind him.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura lay staring at the ceiling in the cafeteria.

No. You know what wasn't a good idea? Letting you in in the first place! Get the hell out. Now.

The first year pitcher shuddered involuntarily. Miyuki's words had scared him. It had been such a quick switch in the catcher's emotions.

Sawamura rolled over with a groan. He was laying in the middle of the room, his body stiff from the uncomfortable floor.

I donno what I did to make him so upset… What do I say to him?... How do I apologize to him?... I fucked up… Kazuya really needed someone and I fucked up!

The southpaw growled in annoyance, pulling at his hair somewhat.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki pushed the coins into the vending machine and pressed the numbers that would drop his favorite can of coffee. As the drink fell into the slot he heard footsteps behind him. He glanced over his shoulder, wondering who else could possibly be up at the unbearingly early hour in the morning.

"Yoichi?" He asked, surprise taking over his features.

"Coffee this early in the morning? Jesus, I knew I was helping you guys out but I didn't think you'd go at it that quickly… or so much that you'd need coffee for stamina…" The shortstop said as he stretched his arms above his head.

"Pardon?" Miyuki asked while raising a brow.

Kuramochi merely smirked towards his best friend.

"Why are you up so early?" Miyuki asked.

"I felt bad kicking Sawamura out, was worried that our infamous captain didn't let him in last night." Kuramochi explained with a nonchalant shrug.

The shortstop must have noticed Miyuki's mood dampen because his playful smirk fell off his lips.

"Did something happen?"

"Nothing happened." Miyuki muttered.

"You're full of shit Kazuya."

I don't need you to give me empty promises.

"God! Will the both of you shut up!" The catcher snapped.

Yoichi's eyes widened at Miyuki's aggressive words.

"Christ. I was just asking. You didn't have to snap at me."

Miyuki's hand had damn near crushed the can of coffee that he was holding.

"Damn it." He muttered as Kuramochi turned on his heel to walk away. "Yoichi. I- I didn't mean it."

The shortstop paused and looked over his shoulder.

"Kazuya, I'll always be there if you need someone, hell, I'd take a couple punches for you… But I don't want to be your punching bag. If you need someone to verbally abuse, that's not what I'm here for. I'm your best friend, not your verbal punching bag. I'll be around if you actually want to talk to someone."

Miyuki's eyes widened at his best friend's words. When Kuramochi started to walk away, the catcher actually felt the desire to jump at the opportunity.

"Yoichi… What if… What if I said I needed someone to talk to right now?..."

0_0_0_0

I'm not going to get any sleep… It's just not gonna happen…

Sawamura glanced up at the clock on the wall, wincing somewhat as he read 4:26 am.

I could go for a run… It's always helped me clear my mind before…

The pitcher pushed himself up, wincing somewhat from the way his body groaned in protest. In hindsight, the cafeteria's floor wasn't the best place to spend the night.

0_0_0_0

Kuramochi turned back and glanced at his best friend.

He… actually wants to talk?...

"Then I'm here for you." Kuramochi turned on his heels once more and walked right by Miyuki, plopping himself on the bench right beside the vending machine. "I'll listen."

Miyuki seemed to shuffle his weight from foot to foot before sitting next to the shortstop.

"I might just need a shoulder.." Miyuki mumbled before leaning right onto Kuramochi's shoulder.

What the actually fuck!? This isn't Kazuya! Who the hell are you?! What have you done to the real Kazuya and what the hell- IS HE CRYING?

Kuramochi looked down at his hand, noticing a drop or two of water. He looked up at the sky to see if it was raining. Not a cloud in sight, the moon was perfectly visible.

"Hey… You can tell me anything." The shortstop offered.

Miyuki remained silent, simply leaning on his best friend's shoulder.

If I find out that you're the reason for this… You're dead Sawamura.

Time passed by slowly, though Kuramochi never shook Miyuki from his shoulder. He let the catcher cry silently, not berating him with any questions.

A little while later, Miyuki sat up and rubbed at his face.

"Wow. Uh. Yea, I'm sorry. I'm not awake. Uh.." Miyuki chuckled awkwardly.

"Just tell me one thing Kazuya."

Miyuki turned his attention towards Kuramochi.

"Was it Sawamura? Was it something he said? Something he did?"

Miyuki wanted to speak, he wanted to deny that anything had happened at all, but his voice died in his throat.

"I thought as much. I'm gonna kill that brat." Kuramochi growled.

The shortstop made to stand and stomp off, but Miyuki grabbed his arm.

"Uh. About what just happened." Miyuki asked, his gaze on the ground.

"Hm? Something just happened?" Yoichi asked with a quizzical expression.

Miyuki showed a small smile.

"Thanks Yoichi." The catcher said, turning his face back towards the shortstop.

Yoichi felt a little off guard as he took in Miyuki's appearance. He could clearly identify the tracks that the tears had left on his cheeks, not to mention the pinkness to his eyes.

"Anytime Kazuya. I'm around whenever you need someone to talk to." The shortstop said before leaving the catcher to bask in the vending machine's light alone.

0_0_0_0

Sawamura panted as he made his way around the second field. Running had always been a sort of calming activity for him. It helped him when he needed to clear his head. He'd even gone as far as to drag his trusty tire out from the equipment shed to make the run a little more intensive.

Unfortunately, no matter how hard he ran, he couldn't get the image of Miyuki when he was angry out of his head. He shook his head professedly to try and rid himself of the image… but it was to no avail.

I wanna… I don't like it when he's angry with me… I… I don't understand what I did… Why was he so angry?.. Did I over step my line? Does it anger him that I came into his room and fixed up his arm?..

The pitcher felt the familiar sting of tears of frustration. He wiped an arm over his eyes rapidly in an attempt to get rid of them but it was no use. He was hopelessly confused and that only succeeded in frustrating him further.

What was I supposed to do Kazuya?... I can't just tell you that it scares me… That whenever I see that you've hurt yourself the first thing I do is blame myself… That I can't get rid of the images of your blood raining down onto the wooden floor in your room… I can't get rid of the empty look that your eyes hold behind your glasses when you realize that you've been caught. I… I tell you I understand.. But I can't… Why do you hurt yourself…? You've got so much… You're an amazing catcher.. You're a pretty good student from what I've heard. You've got respect from just about every damn player you meet.. I thought I brought you happiness… But if before gives me any damn indication… I've just made it worse…

Sawamura's thoughts only succeeding in halting his running and increasing the tears he had tried to stop so many times before.

Have I lost you? Do you hate me? But I just got you… What do I do Kazuya? Are you going to dump me? Have you had enough? Have you realized that you can do so much better than an idiot like me?

The pitcher sank down, plopping himself in the middle of the outfield with a pained gasp.

Is this it?... Are you going to get rid of me? I don't know what I did… Is it something I can't make up for? You were so angry… I've never seen you so angry… Not even when I accidentally insulted Chris in front of you… Please don't hate me Kazuya… I can't… I donno what I'll do if you end up hating me…

0_0_0_0

Miyuki took a shuddered breath after Kuramochi had left.

I just broke down in front of him… Holy shit.. What the fuck was I thinking?!

Miyuki clenched his fists tightly.

I've never done that before… what the hell!? That's not me! He must've been so uncomfortable. What the hell was I thinking!?

The catcher bit into his lower lip, his mind working tenfold.

No matter how much dad coming freaks me out… or how much Eijun's words hurt… I should be able to cover it up like always! Crying!? Are you fucking kidding me?! When did I revert back to being a bloody kid?!

Miyuki stood and paced in front of the vending machines unhappily.

"Oh. Miyuki. How are you?"

The voice made the catcher jump.

"Ah! I'm sorry… I didn't mean to scare you… I just.. Wanted a drink…" Kawakami chuckled lightly.

Miyuki stared at the second year pitcher as he spoke. Kawakami squirmed slightly before coughing.

"Uh… yea… I'm just gonna get a drink so…"

Kawakami side stepped Miyuki before pushing coins into the vending machine.

"Hey Miyuki… I don't want to over step any of my boundaries… But… Have you been sleeping?" The second year asked as his can dropped from inside the machine. "I mean… You've got some pretty dark circles going on… So I was just wondering…"

"Are you always up so early Nori?" Miyuki asked with a cock of his head.

"Uh. Yea. I like to work with the nets in the morning. It's quiet, pretty relaxing actually." Kawakami said before shrugging.

"It's five am.." Miyuki said incredulously.

"Nothing like a morning workout." The second year pitcher said with a small nervous smile.

Miyuki couldn't believe it. He had had no idea that there were players who got up so early to practice.

"Nori. I'm gonna work with you today." Miyuki said, his decision made the moment he'd heard why the other was up so early.

"What? Aren't you working with Furuya?... Or even Sawamura?" The second year asked, surprise taking over his features.

"Do you see either of them working with the nets in the morning?" Miyuki asked with a small smile. "If you work hard, you'll be rewarded. I think I'm a pretty great reward, don't you think Nori?" The catcher joked.

Kawakami gave and awkward laugh at Miyuki's narcissism before nodding.

"Thanks… I hope everyone else will be ok with that." The second year said as he finished off his drink. "I'll see you in a couple of hours… you know, for normal morning practice." Kawakami said before chuckling lightly.

"Seeings how I'm the captain, the only person that can deter me is the coach, and I believe he'll be fine if I explain to him why it is that I'm working with you." Miyuki offered before waving over his shoulder. "Like you said, see you in a couple of hours."