In retrospect, binge eating jujubes while putting all these chapters up wasn't the best idea...

Anime4us

Chapter 18

Miyuki was putting his gear on when Kawakami came running into the bullpen.

"No need to rush Kawakami, I've still gotta get my gear on." The catcher said with a small smirk.

"It's Sawamura." The pitcher said, gasping as he caught his breath.

Miyuki felt his blood run cold.

"What?" He asked, his smirk falling.

"He passed out. In the caf." Kawakami said with a frown. "After he was sick in the garbage…"

"The coach is with him I'm sure." Miyuki stated before turning his back to the second year pitcher.

What the hell? He passed out?

"I'm gonna step way over the line here, but hear me out." Kawakami began, nervously avoiding Miyuki's glare. "You're being awfully cold towards someone you care for… For all you know, maybe he's struggling and could really use you right now."

A harsh laugh pushed itself through Miyuki's lips, catching Kawakami off guard.

"He's struggling? He needs my help does he?" Miyuki asked bitterly.

The second year pitcher seemed shaken from Miyuki's change in demeanor.

"That's pretty funny Nori. I didn't know you had such a great sense of humor."

0_0_0_0

"What do you think brought this up?" Kataoka asked, standing outside of Sawamura's dorm.

Kuramochi was chewing on his lower lip, remembering how he had kicked his junior out and how it had resulted in him sleeping outside for the night.

"Perhaps it was something he ate?" Haruichi offered.

"And nobody else was sick?" Kataoka asked, not buying the pinklet's story at all.

"It could have been an overdue pastry from the market." Haruichi offered before shrugging.

"All we can do is let him rest at this point.." Kuramochi said before sighing. "We'll keep an eye on him, that is, if you're ok with us missing out on practice."

Kataoka glared down at the second year before sighing.

"I suppose that is all we can do." He said before turning to walk towards the field. "Do not let him set foot on the field, I don't care how energetic he claims to be. Bed rest is what the sick need." The coach stated before leaving.

Haruichi visibly sighed while Kuramochi relaxed against the door.

"It's my fault." The shortstop stated with an aggravated sigh.

"If you're going to place blame, you can say it was the both of us." Haruichi said as he pulled the door open.

"Where are you going?"

"You wanted to play nurse, at least check up on the patient once in a while." The pinklet said with a huff. "That, or go talk to Miyuki, I'm sure he has an inkling towards why Eijun is so sick." Haruichi said before pulling the door closed in Kuramochi's face.

The shortstop's eyes widened at how aggressive Haruichi was. He knew that the pinklet felt a strong need to protect the southpaw, hell, the whole team did, but he hadn't expected him to act out towards even him. Thought, he was right about something, he needed to talk to Miyuki.

0_0_0_0

"It isn't his fault Kazuya, don't take it out on him."

Miyuki's attention snapped towards the shortstop as he walked into the bullpen.

The shortstop had heard the last bit of conversation between the catcher and second year pitcher. If he was being honest, he felt bad for Kawakami, and he was also a little peeved at Miyuki for taking it out on an innocent by stander. He knew that someone had sent Kawakami to tell Miyuki that Sawamura had been sick, and while being honest, he knew that it wasn't the best idea since Miyuki was upset about something to do with the pitcher, but hell, Kawakami didn't deserve to be yelled at.

"Fantastic. Are you gonna quip about how I used Nori as a 'verbal punching bag'?" Miyuki sneered.

"You need to take a step back." Kuramochi stated.

"No. You know what? This is all bullshit!" Miyuki said before chuckling.

Kuramochi glanced at Nori, who seemed about thirty seconds from an anxiety attack, and nodded towards the exit. The pitcher bolted, leaving the two players alone.

"Did taking it out on Nori make you feel any better?" Kuramochi asked.

"Fuck off." Miyuki growled.

"What is your deal Kazuya?" Kuramochi asked, eyes narrowed into a death glare.

"My deal? My deal!? My deal is that everyone just expects me to solve every goddamn problem! I don't know the goddamn answers ok!" Miyuki yelled.

Kuramochi stayed indifferent.

This is actually… good.

"Answers to what?" The shortstop asked.

"That's just it! I don't know half the things people expect me to know Yoichi! We're playing a really strong team, sure, let me look over strategies with Nabe. A strong batter? No problem, my pitchers trust me and I tend to make the right calls. A player wants to quit? What the hell am I supposed to say? No, you're forced to stay even if it makes you hate baseball! Sawamura passed out, go see him. Why? So I can sit there and listen to myself being an ass to him on repeat in my head? My dad's coming to see the game. I should be happy right!? I'm not. I'm practically shitting myself cause I haven't even seen my old man for longer than two hour intervals even when I go home for holidays! I'm scared that I don't amount to his bloody expectations. Isn't that a load of shit?! But how could you ever understand?! You're in the perfect place right now. A perfect boyfriend! A perfect family waiting for you with open arms for the holidays! So what's my deal Yoichi!? Fuck if I know! I don't know what to bloody well think anymore!"

Ah. I bet you feel a lot lighter now, don't you Kazuya?

Miyuki huffed after that long winded rant. Kuramochi merely smirked and clapped.

"What the fuck Yoichi?" Miyuki growled.

"You finally let it out and talked about it. More like yelled, but hey, technicalities, am I right?" Kuramochi said with a casually shrug.

Miyuki's eyes widened as Kuramochi walked towards him. The shortstop grabbed him by the shoulder before sighing.

"We don't expect you to have all the answers. Sure we tend to lean on you a little more than the other players, but that's cause we all trust you to do the right thing."

"But-"

"And I know that that in itself can be stressful." Kuramochi said, cutting Miyuki off before he could start. "But we're a team you know? We may lean on you, but you're allowed to lean on us too you know? There are some of us that are closer to you than most, hell, I'm willing to bet that Sawamura is closer to you than even I am…" Kuramochi said before chuckling softly. "I donno what happened between you two… But I know that whatever it is, it's eating at the both of you. I think Sawamura's even managed to make himself sick over it."

Miyuki opened his mouth to speak but thought better of it when Kuramochi shook his head.

"Listen. That guy's a real idiot… but hell Miyuki, even I can see the way he looks at you. You're his whole world right now. Not to mention I'm pretty sure I've heard him mumble your name in his sleep once or twice."

Kuramochi smirked when he saw the catcher's ears darken in a blush.

"I don't know what to say to him… He was just helping out… I just… he said something and I snapped at him… Didn't even think twice about it.." Miyuki muttered.

"Sounds like you took an idiot's words to heart." Kuramochi said with a smirk. "Ten to one, he didn't mean it the way that you took it. As for not knowing what to say, you've got time, he's sleeping."

The shortstop let his arms drop from Miyuki's shoulders.

"If I could just give you a little more advice Kazuya." Kuramochi said with a small smile. "Be there when he opens his eyes. I swear you won't regret it."

0_0_0_0

Haruichi heard a knock at the door that pulled him from his little doze off. He stood from the desk chair he had been perched on, making his way to the door.

"Coming." He said, loud enough for whoever was on the other side to hear him but gently enough that it wouldn't wake Sawamura up.

He pulled the door open, eyes landing on the shortstop before they landed on the catcher. He stepped aside, pulling the door open to let the catcher by. Kuramochi stepped in and grabbed his key before glancing over his shoulder.

"We'll check up on you guys around lunch time. Coach gave me a note for class, I'll give it to the teacher in your stead."

Miyuki nodded, before smiling softly.

"Thanks Yoichi.." He said softly.

Haruichi let the door fall closed as he stepped out, giving Miyuki a small wave.

0_0_0_0

Miyuki glanced towards Sawamura's bed, taking in the scene before him. The southpaw lay clumped in a mass of blankets, face peaceful with sleep. He seemed comfortable enough, though Miyuki could see how pale his skin was.

Did I really make you sick?...

The catcher walked towards the desk chair, picking it up and setting in down right by Sawamura's bed. He sat in the seat heavily, lips turned down in a frown.

"Is it my fault?.." He whispered.

Sawamura sighed in his sleep, snuggling deeper into the blankets. Miyuki, if he hadn't been so wrapped up in his own crap, would have thought the expression was endearing.

I was so harsh towards you… I'm so sorry…

Miyuki bit into his lower lip before letting a soft chuckle leave his lips.

If there's one thing I hate, it's saying sorry… But that seems to be the only thing I've been saying to you these past few days. I'm one problem after another eh?...

The catcher sighed heavily.

I wonder sometimes Eijun… I wonder what you could possibly see in such a broken person.

Miyuki leaned back into the desk chair, letting his eyes fall close.

God… I'm so tired… Did you sleep last night?... Yoichi seems to think that you slept outside… Please tell me that I didn't make you sleep outside… I'm such an asshole… I'm so sorry that I treated you like garbage… Sometimes… I wonder how you can even stand to be around me… Everyone else seems to hate me… Even Yoichi can't stand me 90% of the time… I don't know how you do it…

Miyuki felt himself dozing off and couldn't help but welcome the peace at mind. He listened to the pitcher's breathing as he relaxed into the desk chair. He would have enjoyed every moment of it had he not been ripped from its greedy clutches.

"Kazuya…"

Miyuki's eyes snapped open and focused on the southpaw in bed. He cocked his head in confusion when Sawamura's eyes remained close.

I swear I heard something… Am I going insane…? Scratch that… I'm already there.

The catcher let yet another heavy sigh leave his lips.

"Kazuya.."

Is he talking in his sleep? Yoichi was serious?! I thought he was kidding!

The catcher's ears darkened at the realization.

"Please…."

Miyuki shook his head to get rid of his thoughts and focused on his pitcher. He wanted to erase the pain he heard in those single words.

What is he pleading for?

"Don't hate me…."

Miyuki's eyes widened in disbelief at his pitcher's words. They were such small words, and yet they felt like a punch to the gut.

"Please.."

Miyuki felt his chest tighten up.

No… I could never hate you… God Eijun… I could never hate you.

"Kazuya…"

The catcher bit into his lips as he listened to the desperation in the pitcher's words. He couldn't believe the pain he was hearing in Sawamura's words.

God… I'm so sorry.

When tears started to travel down the southpaw's cheeks Miyuki tensed up.

I'm hurting him.

"I'm right here…" Miyuki whispered, his voice sounding broken even to his own ears.