So, I had a couple of days off... It wasn't fantastic, in fact I spent most of it with my face attached to the bathroom floor. Sick, doesn't even touch how I've been feeling, and it wasn't even self inflicted! -.-

The updates will be slightly slower from now on, maybe down to just one a day.

Thanks for the reviews.

I don't own Twilight

Once I've fried my brain, by over thinking the limited options that I have in this situation and weighing the pros and cons of each, I get out and dry my hair. I put on the comfiest clothes I can find and Google pictures of Edward. I stare at his arrogant but beautiful face for far too long. I even zoom in on his mouth and I can't help but remember the way that his lips felt against mine.

I think that I may have some serious issues.

After lunch, the girls get back. Immediately I can see that Rose is keen to start questioning me. I tell them as little as possible and placate them with regards to me and Edward in the same bed. It's almost too easy to reassure them and they seem relieved. They then proceed to tell me about their nights, thankfully they don't go into too much detail, but it's nice to know they had a great time.

They both apologise for leaving me at the bar, several times. I shake it off and change the subject to tonight and the movie we'll be seeing. It's always easy to steer them to different subjects when they're in the glow of new relationships.

I don't mention that I heard some of Alice's morning antics, or the kiss from Edward. I wish I could ask them about him, but they've made their opinions about him very clear. If I was more certain about it, I would've told them where to put their opinions. My head is currently far too scrambled to even trust myself, not only that but they have some pretty good points.

Later in the afternoon we start getting ready for our night out, I decide on my best jeans and a nice top. I straighten my hair and apply a little bit of make up.

I have no idea why I'm crushing on Edward so much, but I do know that I'm excited to see him again. I can't imagine how many girls he's slept with, but I really believe there's more to him than just that. Strangely I feel safe around him.

Maybe he has some kind of a sex addiction like Russell Brand, the one who married Katy Perry. I wish I knew more about him and also, what was going on between us. He kissed me, but only because I pretty much demanded him to do it.

I know that it would ultimately end up with me broken but just to be close to him like that, just once. I then realise that that would be it, no more Edward.

I wander back through to where Alice and Rose are sitting on the couch waiting for me. I look at the girls bouncing and chatting excitedly, any excitement I was feeling seems to vanish.

They both have guys who very clearly care about them, they've slept together and it hasn't ended, in fact it feels more like the beginning for them. All of a sudden any motivation to go, seems to evaporate.

"I think I'm going to stay here tonight. This is more of a date night and I have no date. You must want some alone time, without dragging me around." They both stare at me with 'are you crazy?' looks on their faces.

"But we want you to come." Pouts Alice.

"But I don't think I do. Last time you left me with Edward and I don't think he likes being the babysitter. I might just stay in."

I won't ever meet someone who likes me if I carry on like this. I feel like a small child that they have to drag around. Just at that moment, with both Alice and Rose staring at me, there's a knock at the door. I walk over and open it for Emmett.

"Come on then you sexy girls. Get in my Jeep." He yells as Rose runs over, puts her arms around him and kisses him.

"Bella wants to stay home tonight."

"Why?" He looks over at me, an eyebrow raised in question.

"She feels like she's, in the way." Rose air quotes with her fingers.

"You're not, at all. We want you to come. Plus Edward's coming and he seems to actually like spending time with you. You know, I think you're good for him, as long as it stays platonic." He looks serious as he searches my face. He also looks sincere and I wonder briefly if it could be true. "Don't get me wrong, if he hurts you or upsets you in anyway, i will rough his shit up." He laughs.

"So come on Cinderella, you can't stay at home looking like that." He winks in a good natured way.

How can I refuse him and his boyish charm?

I grab my jacket and purse and walk down with the others. I can hear Rose asking Emmett if he thinks she's an ugly step sister, with a pout. He laughs and kisses her, they seem to dissolve into each other.

Alice has her arm linked with mine as we walk towards Emmett's Jeep. Jasper is there but there's no sign of Edward, he notices me looking.

"Hey Bella. He's meeting us at the restaurant." He tells me as he scoots over to let Alice in.

We get to the small, quaint Italian restaurant and are seated quickly by a smiley server who gushes over my name, several times. We all settle down and they all include me in the conversation, probably in an effort to make me feel wanted.

As time passes, the empty chair to my right stays empty, so we decide to order and I move my mushroom ravioli round the plate. My appetite completely gone.

Emmett seems annoyed while he looks at his phone, he suddenly barks out.

"He's not coming. Let's have some fun."

I feel a pit in my stomach that won't go away. I'm pretty sure I know that Edward is with a woman. Probably fucking her right now. I feel sick at the thought, which is absolutely ridiculous, it's not like we're even dating.

I hoped that what Emmett had said, was true and I want to laugh bitterly at my naivety.

We head towards the movie theatre after our meal but I decide to call it a night and get a cab back. Emmett whispers a sorry into my ear as he hugs me. I think he's sorry about Edward but I don't ask.

Back at the apartment I feel like slapping myself. I have to get out of this fucking funk. It's stupid. It's not like I didn't know what kind of a person he was.

I get into a soft top, take off my jeans and grab a blanket. I also take a carton of frozen yoghurt out of the freezer, I feel hungry because I didn't even eat my dinner.

I switch a soppy rom com on and snuggle under my blanket. I eat a huge chunk of the frozen yummy whilst watching Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan mailing each other. I get a text at eleven from Rose saying that they're staying at the guys place tonight and not to wait up. She also asks if I'm okay. I reply and tell them to have a great time.

Once Kathleen and Joe find each other and kiss, which might've made me cry a little bit, I shuffle about getting ready for bed. My mind wandering back to last night, when I slept with Edward. I shiver under the covers, wishing I was warmer or more precisely that Edward was in here with me.

I wake with a start to a loud banging. I stare around for a moment in confusion. The clock display is telling me that it's two in the morning. I grumble and moan as I get up and wrap myself in my duvet like a big Fajita. I shuffle to the door thinking it must the girls and they've forgotten their keys. I yawn as I fiddle with the locks.

"You should really remember your key Rose."

I stop as I yank the door open and see Edward leaning against the door frame. One hand on either side. His face down. My heart starts thumping painfully against my ribs.

"Oh, hey Edward. Everyone's at Jaspers." He doesn't respond.

"Edward?" I start to worry that theres something wrong. I wrap my duvet around myself tighter. He looks up and stares at me in confusion but doesn't say anything. "Do you want to come in?" It's obvious that he isn't leaving any time soon.

He walks by me into the apartment and starts to pace and fidget. His hands keep going into his hair and he looks annoyed. The smell of alcohol is coming off him in waves and I start to feel a bit concerned.

"What's wrong, Edward?"

"I have no idea." He mumbles, his words slurring together slightly and he slumps onto the couch, putting his head into his hands. "I shouldn't even be here. What the fuck?"

He carries on mumbling and I only catch little pieces of what he's saying. He must be pretty drunk. I sigh.

"I'm sorry Edward, I have no idea what's wrong but I'm seriously beat. Would you mind taking this into the bedroom so I can sleep?"

His head snaps up and he laughs. It's not a happy laugh though and my eyebrows lift in surprise.

"I'm going, so feel free to come and join me. Or stay on the couch mumbling, whatever."

I shuffle to my room with my nose in the air and get back into bed.

It's not long before I feel the springs dip and I turn to see Edward sitting on the edge of my bed.

"I saw a woman tonight. She was everything that I would look for. Everything about her was oozing free sex."

I suddenly wish he didn't start talking. I knew that was where he was tonight. The sick feeling returns.

"I did the whole routine that I normally do and she pretty much begged me to go to hers, but when she tried to kiss me. I guess my head wasn't in it. It felt wrong somehow. You know?"

He looks over at me and I'm sure I look bewildered.

"No, I guess not. Well I left after that. Then I found myself walking around the city and then I was outside your door." He eyes me from across the bed.

I sit up and look at him properly, he looks really confused.

"Come here Edward. I'm freezing." That's all I can think of to say, he's not making much sense at all.

It's not like I have answers to his sexual problems and as he woke me up, it's the least he can do. He pulls off his shoes and jacket and gets into bed. I wriggle backwards into his body heat and he puts his arm round me and scoots me closer. He's really warm and I don't even mind the smell of alcohol or cigarettes that's coming off him.

I turn round and press my face into his chest. I wrap my arm over his side and my other one is tucked up near my chin. He holds me to him tightly and I sigh into him.

"Is that why you didn't show up tonight?"

"I just needed to try and clear my head."

I lift my face away and look up at him, he dips his head to look back at me. I want to ask him what he means by that but I'm too tired.

"I can't be like the girl you saw tonight."

"I know that and I wouldn't want you to be."

I nestle into him again.

"What do you see me as Edward? What am I to you? A friend?"

"A friend?" He repeats it, almost tasting how it sounds. "I'm not sure I can be friends with someone that looks like you."

Is this it, is he choosing something in his head?

"Oh" I whisper.

"I'd like to try though, if you'll let me?" I look back up in surprise.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean it's okay to want to do bad things with your friends right? Because I really want to do bad things with you." His grin is cheeky and infectious, I grin back.

"Yeah, I mean I totally fancy Rose. This one time we were drinking mojitos and we got pretty drunk." I snark back, not finishing my sentence before he groans loudly and pulls me closer. I giggle at his response.

"Please don't tell me that." He laughs.

"Edward, why do you do what you do?"

"That's a story for another day, Bella. Go to sleep."

"Tomorrow." I mumble.

I do as he says and it doesn't take long for me to fall into a deep sleep, the last thing I feel are his fingers drawing lines on my arm.