Love you all! Thanks for reading!
My OH chose a name for the EPOV chapter and I've PM'd the winner! I've started writing it in between my two stories, so hoping it will be ready soon! Thanks for the reviews that I received. I love having some interaction with you all.
I'm dealing with some stuff in RL at the moment (who isn't?) but it's taking up more of my time than I thought it would so updates have been changed to once a week, if I can do more then I will.
Here goes!
Twilight isn't mine!
My eyes open slowly and I immediately notice the absence of the usual heat and limbs laying across me, like I always feel when I fall asleep with Edward. I sit up and look around his empty room, trying to find a sign of him being here somewhere.
There's an old beat up guitar laying on top of the chair, in the corner of the room, it makes me wonder if he plays. It's a plain room and it's surprisingly clean. I always thought that men were a bit messy, Charlie is my reference there. I was forever cleaning up after him, even as a young child.
I listen raptly for any noises in the apartment but hear nothing so I slide out of bed and pick up my dress which is folded neatly on the arm of the chair, where the guitar is. I slip it on and my panties and just as I turn to walk towards the door, Edward bursts in. His hair is sticking up in every direction and his eyes are wide.
"Edward, what's wrong?" I can feel my panic bubble to the surface at his expression.
"It's my Father. He's been taken to hospital. I didn't want to wake you, but I'm going to have to go and see him." He's already dressed and I watch as he anxiously runs his fingers through his hair.
"Do you want me to come with you?" I try to appear calm in the midst of his personal storm.
He looks a bit confused which makes him look like a little, lost boy. I can only imagine how he's feeling, despite their differences, his Father is his only remaining parent. I wouldn't know how to exist without Charlie in the world.
"You'd do that?" He walks towards me, a frown on his handsome face.
"Yes, of course."
He nods, his eyes searching mine before he walks back out of the room. I follow him, I have to jog to keep up with his long strides and I grab my purse on the way out.
The drive to the hospital is quiet but I do place my hand on top of his a few times. I think he appreciates it as he squeezes my fingers gently.
When we get to the hospital, Edward holds my hand and I scurry after him as he walks with purpose to the front desk.
"Mr Edward Masen. Where is he? Is Dr Cullen here?"
The kind old lady doesn't bat an eye at his brusque tone as she pages the Doctor for him.
It's not long before a very handsome, middle aged Doctor walks over to us and places his hand gently on Edward's shoulder.
"Edward, my boy. It's so good to see you, I just wish the circumstances were better."
"Carlisle, how is he?"
"He's had a myocardial infarction, a heart attack. He's stable now but he had another one just after he was admitted." His eyes flicker over to me and then down to our still linked hands. He stands back.
"My apologies. I'm Dr Cullen." He extends his hand to me, which I take with my free hand. I can't even imagine trying to get my other hand out of Edward's iron grasp.
"Bella Swan. It's nice to meet you Dr Cullen."
"Ah, I've heard that name floating around recently. I'm Jasper and Emmett's father, It's nice to meet you."
I blush up at him, his kind smile is so dazzling. Just as I'm about to return the sentiment, his pager beeps. He snaps it off his belt and looks at it before excusing himself.
He leaves instructions on how to get to Mr Masen's room before he leaves.
We get to the private room, the TV is on a shopping channel and Jessica is curled up in the chair, next to the bed. Her cheeks have tear lines in her foundation and her mascara is smeared underneath her red, swollen eyes. She glances up as we enter.
"Oh Eddie." She gets up and wraps her arms around him, he stands stiffly and pats her on the back, awkwardly.
I wander over to Edward Senior. His eyes are closed, the machines bleeping rhythmically around him. Wires and tubes seem to be everywhere. An oxygen mask is over his mouth and nose. I reach down and wrap my fingers around his hand, it feels warm. He's such a strong man, a powerful man. It doesn't seem right that he's laying here, attached to machines. I feel Edward's hand on my shoulder and I turn to him.
I can see the discomfort on his face, I duck my head and move out of the way, I move over to Jessica to give Edward some time with his father.
I suggest we go for coffee and I walk with her to the coffee machine.
"Thank you Bella, for being here for Eddie. I don't think he realises it, but he needs you right now."
"I care about him, I want to be here."
"Oh, I can see that you love him. It's soon but I can see it."
My heart thumps painfully in my chest as she says those words.
"I don't know enough about him to love him, but I do care about him, a lot."
"That's just an illusion, you don't need to know everything about a person to love them, Bella. I just hope he realises what he's got. This is all so very new to him."
I stay quiet, I can't deal with what she's saying. I would know if I'd fallen in love with Edward. I get butterflies in my tummy everytime I see him and I do enjoy spending time with him, but love is a whole different scenario.
I smile tightly and clutch the two coffees. I sip on mine and carry Edward's as we walk back to the room. Thankfully Jessica doesn't say anything else about me and Edward.
Dr Cullen is there when we get back to the room. I pass Edward the hot coffee and he thanks me before turning to Carlisle again, who's explaining the treatment.
"Thrombolytic medicines have been administered but he may still need surgery."
Edward nods mutely and then turns to Jessica.
"Go home, get some rest. I'll stay with him until you get back."
She nods, looking grateful and thanks him before disappearing. He turns to me, his eyes seem blank.
"You should go home. I'll call you a cab." He doesn't look in my eyes as he talks and it hurts. I see a pained expression appear on Carlisle's face briefly and I feel the burn of rejection in my tear ducts. I refuse to cry though.
I'm sure he wants time with his Father, but it also feels like he's dismissing me.
"Please let me know if I can help with anything." I say it without giving direct eye contact and turn to leave. I don't dwell on how my voice cracks slightly at the end, he doesn't seem to notice, thankfully.
I almost hope for a moment that he stops me, as I walk outside. He doesn't. I don't wait for the cab he calls for and instead I decide to walk home as it really isn't far.
I use the time to think through everything, I can't just have imagined the closeness I've been feeling around him. It's obviously not just a physical connection, I've been enjoying every aspect of our time together.
The amount of moments that I've just wanted to go the whole way with him recently, have almost been overwhelming. I want that connection with him and I actually trust him. He makes me feel safe, I wouldn't think that he'd hurt me on purpose.
Rose isn't home and I'm so glad. I slump onto the couch as soon as I get in and realise that I'm probably just being really selfish, his Dad is in hospital and I'm moaning about how he seemed distant with me. I can't even imagine what he's going through, no wonder he pushed me away.
I get washed and changed in a bit of a daze, I'm so worried about both Edward and Mr Masen. I hope they are both alright.
I get the urge to call him after I've eaten and try to find my cell in my purse. I tip it out all over Rose's rug. I'll have to deal with her wrath later. I realise that it must've fallen out at Edward's. Great.
A loud and persistent banging on the door makes me jump in shock. I rush over to open it. Edward is standing there looking frantic. He breathes out a sigh when he sees me, it sounds like relief.
"You didn't use the cab that I ordered for you!" He grabs my arms and stares at me, confusion on his face. He almost looks mad.
"You didn't even answer my numerous calls and messages."
"I'm so sorry, I didn't realise." I don't get to finish, before his mouth is on mine. I can't help but return the kiss. He pulls away, but keeps his hands on my face.
"I was fucking worried about you."
"You hurt my feelings earlier."
"I know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It was hard being there. Seeing him like that."
"How is he?"
"He's doing a lot better than they expected. Surgery is off the table, but he needs to slow down and start relaxing."
"That's great, I'm so glad he'll be okay."
"Thank you for being there for me. I heard about what Jessica said to you, she told me."
"She likes to assume things, but I think she genuinely cares about you."
"I kind of like what she said." His grin is very cute and I feel my cheeks heat and my heart starts to pound. Is he talking about me loving him? I don't think I dare ask, she could've said anything.
I grab his face and pull his lips to mine again. He picks me up easily and takes me to my bedroom. I don't feel nervous, I don't feel scared. I just want to be with him.
"I want to forget everything and just be with you." His deep voice sends shocks through my body and I feel the familiar fluttering in my tummy as he lowers me onto my bed.
Any lingering fears melt away as he pulls my clothes off. I clumsily take his off, in between our frantic kissing. I'm naked and he only has his boxers on. The feeling of my skin against his is amazing and we both end up on the bed as he kisses down my body. I feel him slide two fingers inside me.
He groans and I can feel how wet I am as he slides them in and out gently. I arch my back as I feel his mouth on my clit. A gasp escapes my lips and I bite down on it as I feel every move his tongue makes. He sucks and licks the little bundle of nerves and it doesn't take long for me to orgasm, the build up is always so intense and the release is pure ecstasy. I've never experienced anything even close to it.
He kisses me as I come down from my high, the feeling of his soft lips against mine makes my body heat up again. I feel his erection pressing against my entrance, through his boxers. The ache inside me is almost painful as I desperately try to angle myself so I can gain some more friction.
"I'm ready." I pant against his neck, he stops and leans back to look at me.
He keeps his eyes on mine as he leans back further and pulls his boxers down. He yanks them off and I allow my eyes to trail down to his erection. It's fucking huge. My jaw is hanging as I take in the sheer size of it. The girth alone is frightening. I don't have much to compare him to but I start to feel concern for my poor cooch.
I raise my eyes to Edward's as he leans back down and kisses me. He pushes my knees apart and I suddenly feel him at my entrance. He rubs against my clit and I start to melt into his kiss, forgetting my earlier worries of things fitting in places.
His chest rubs against my sensitive nipples and I feel it resonate down inside me. I push my hips up automatically and he slips against my entrance, I hold still in shock and he laughs quietly. I'm pretty sure it won't fit, but that ache is shouting at me and begging for him to push harder and fill me.
"It feels amazing but you're the one dictating this Bella. Just tell me what to do." He kisses my neck and I moan at all the overwhelming sensations.
I've never wanted anything more than I want this.
"I want this. I want you."
I can feel the intensity behind my words and I watch as his eyes darken.