Thanks so much for your patience and your support. I went through something horrible and it left me in a very dark place, I didn't want to write because I didn't want to put my pain into this story.

I appreciate the love that I've received from many of you though. Every message and review makes me so happy.

So here it is...

Thanks Mi, you rock.

I don't own Twilight or its characters. I do own Pussy hound though.

"I want this. I want you."

I can feel the intensity behind my words and I watch as his eyes darken.

He doesn't answer and I can see the tension build along his taut jaw. I feel the need to elaborate, knowing that he seems to need a more specific command from me.

"I don't want to wait any more, I need you. I need you inside me."

I blush at my own words, hardly believing that I've just said them. I gaze into his beautiful green eyes and I study the gorgeous lines of his face, his straight nose and that mouth as he parts his lips to speak.

"Are you sure?"

His deep voice is gruff with lust and it sends tingles down my body as he looks deep into my eyes, as though he's searching for any doubt. The tightness in his jaw seems to have disappeared and in its place a small smirk plays at the edges of his glorious lips.

"Yes." My voice quivers slightly with nerves but my resolve is unyielding.

He sits back and then climbs lithely off the bed, I automatically pull my legs together and put my arms across myself. I watch as he comes round to the side of the bed. I take the time to study his body in all its magnificent form, his muscles stand prominent under his flawless skin. The broadness of his shoulders, he really is, all man. I notice the tattoos on his arms and I make a mental note to study them properly later. I want to touch the smattering of light hair across his thighs and under his belly button down to his rather large erection. I feel my eyes widen as I take in his size again. He's at least double Jake's size, easily.

"Bella, every time you see my cock your beautiful eyes almost pop out of your head." He reaches out to me and I don't hesitate to place my smaller hand into his large one. He yanks me sharply, making me kneel up and then pulls me gently, situating me at the edge of the bed, in front of him.

"Not that I'm arguing against this, if you feel ready then I'm happy to comply. I just think that maybe you should get better acquainted." I can see that tension set in his jaw again as he looks down at me, I don't want to let him back out of this. I feel excited at the prospect of worshipping him, finally giving something back and having him under my control. I really want to see him come. I gulp, knowing that this is a big deal to him.

"How?" I ask.

He grins down at my question.

"Touch, kiss. Whatever you think feels natural. You'll know whether I like it or not."

I don't wait for him to change his mind as I reach out and pull him closer by his thighs, he plays along and shuffles closer. I stare at him for a second, trying to decide on what to do. I wrap my fingers around him and straight away I see his whole body tense and a groan erupts from him. I feel emboldened by that amazing sound, I can't believe I just made this God of a man moan. I relish the smooth velvet over hard steel and I squeeze gently, trying without managing, to bring my thumb and fingers together. I let go and run my fingers over the whole length, feeling the veins and the ridge on the underside of him. I bring my hand up and place it on his thigh. I wrap my other hand round him again and gently pump it up and down his length, squeezing gently as I go, this elicits more moans.

I see a gathering of moisture at the tip and I lean over to lick it away. His gasp makes me moan involuntary. I feel myself getting wet at his arousal. I keep my hand around him as I kiss him where I've just licked and then run my tongue from the bottom to the top, along the ridge. I swiftly open my mouth really wide and put him between my lips. He curses loudly.

"Fuck."

My lips are literally stretched to their maximum and my mouth feels so full already. I make sure my teeth aren't exposed as I hollow my cheeks and try to pull more of him in until I can't physically put anymore of him in. I apply some suction and pull my head back letting my tongue glide against him as I go. His hips buck towards me which pushes him back in deep. I carry on going, up and down him. I let him thrust in and out, controlling the depth by keeping my hand against his thigh.

"Your mouth feels fucking amazing, baby."

I hum around him in approval at his words and he moans loudly and his thrusts become more urgent. I hum again, hoping to get the same response. He doesn't disappoint. I feel almost giddy at his responses and I let my fingers explore as I reach down and gently cup his balls. I also let my teeth peek out and gently graze him, it's something that Alice had told me about years ago.

"Bella, fuck. Are you sure you haven't done this before?"

I glance up at is question, he looks like he is about to come undone. His face is flush and his eyes watch as I look up through my lashes.

"Seeing you do this, looking up at me is perfect. I want to come inside of you, but not in your mouth."

I consider tying him up so I can continue but the lure of finally feeling him inside of me, is too appealing. My nipples are still painfully hard and the moisture gathering between my legs is almost embarrassing. I pull back and let him go with a pop. I scoot back on the bed and sit against the headboard, watching as he bends down to retrieve his jeans.

"I'm guessing that you're not on birth control." I can't help but stare at his ass because it's very fine, smooth and tight. His thighs are strong and I watch as the muscles move under the skin as he bends to pick up his jeans from the floor. I shake me head, confirming his assumption.

I watch in fascination as he rolls a condom over his cock, it's still glistening from being in my mouth. I smile to myself as he gets back up on the bed and pulls at my ankles, so I'm laying flat. He nudges my knees apart, opening me up to him and dips his head to mine to kiss my lips, his hair feels soft under my fingers as I grab at it and pull him closer. I feel him press against my entrance again and that same ache resonates inside of me as he rubs against the sensitive spot between my legs. I feel empty, painfully empty. I gasp in frustration and look into his eyes, his cheeky grin makes his eyes sparkle as he watches me. I've got a feeling that he knows exactly what he's doing.

"This might hurt, just tell me to stop." He mumbles against my mouth as he sucks on my bottom lip. I can't answer as I wait for him to fill me, I arch my back and I feel as the tip enters me slowly again. I gasp, I feel stretched to capacity.

His lips are back on my neck, I can feel him rubbing against me again and I close my eyes and tip my head back. The sensations surround me, his smell, the feel of him against me. Our heavy breathing and small moans feel like the only sounds in the world as everything crumbles away, any doubts dissipate as I lose myself to the sensations. His long fingers gently tease my nipples and I feel close as the pressure starts to build deep inside of me.

Just as I feel the build up of my orgasm, he pushes into me swiftly. His strong arms tense under my fingers and I cry out in shock as he rips through my virginity. It isn't as bad as I'd imagined but it still hurts. He stops and stares into my eyes, I realise that he looks nervous.

"Are you okay? Fuck you're tight. You really need to relax, Bella."

I nod as he slowly inches in further. I feel so full and it takes a moment to get used to. He stops and doesn't move, letting me adjust. As I relax into it, I start to feel other sensations. I feel how his pelvic bone is pressed up against my clit and his chest against my nipples. My skin feels overly sensitive, everywhere and even his arms against mine sends tingles through me. Every nerve ending feels raw and open.

He starts to pull him self back out and then in, languidly. My hands are on his strong arms and I let them move round onto his back as I feel the hard lines and sinews of his muscles. His eyes look into mine as he carries on pushing and pulling. I feel his fingers find my clit and he rubs it gently.

He groans out loudly.

"Fuck, Bella. I'm really not going to last long. It's been a while and you are fucking gripping me like a vice."

I groan out at his words, the lazy pulling and pushing is creating a build up deep down inside me, like I've never felt before. I try to ignore the sore feeling, I can feel every part of him and I concentrate on that. His movements become slightly quicker as I feel the build up intensify. I can't breathe as I feel the intense orgasm rip through me, his pelvic bone hits rhythmically against me. I actually feel like I've exploded into a million pieces and breathing becomes irrelevant as I feel myself come apart under this man, the man that I want. I shout his name and I moan loudly as it lasts for what seems like forever, any coherent thoughts leave my mind.

I feel like I'm under water as I come down from my high and my whole body feels boneless. His movements slow slightly and I feel as he pulses inside me.

"Bella, fuck."

His body weight sinks into mine and he breathes out deeply, it feels comfortable, like we fit together. Heavy but not too heavy. I feel his breath collect by my neck, warming me. I suddenly have no words. It feels monumental and I suddenly realise that Rose and Alice were right, I'm going to break into pieces if I don't get to see him again. I want to do this again, with him.

The way his eyes looked into mine, it felt like we connected on more than one level. I know it sounds really cliche but it's true. He was gentle, even though he told me that he likes it rough. It all feels like this was for me, I'm well aware of my naivety and I could be wrong but the whole arrangement doesn't seem to fit with what he usually does. I just hope that now he's got what he wanted, he's not going to leave and never come back.

Edward doesn't move and I start to worry that there's something wrong, until he sighs heavily and gets up, pulling out of me gently. His eyes look pained as he stares down at me briefly, before he pulls a top on and a pair of boxers. I watch in confusion as he leaves the room.

I sit up and pull my knees to my chest, feeling how sore I am. I don't want to think of what we've just done as wrong, I wanted this and I enjoyed every part of it but now I feel consumed with worry and loss.

The way he was gentle and sweet and good. Who am I fucking kidding?

It was more than good, it was amazing. I do feel sore now, but I expected that. I didn't expect to orgasm, I know Rose did on her first time but Alice always thought she was lying. I realise that I need to pee so I get up and pull a big top over my head and hop to the bathroom.

When I get back Edward is sitting on the bed and he watches as I walk over to him. I feel shy which is completely silly considering what we've just done.

"How are you? Do you feel sore?"

"A little, but it's not bad."

He closes his eyes and breathes deeply, his face looks tense and I think I see regret flicker across his features. Without turning his head, one of his arms reaches behind him and pulls back the sheets on the bed. I turn and see the blood stain on the bed. I feel the heat of the blush on my cheeks and I hide my face in my hands. His fingers pry them off and he looks into my eyes. He looks sad.

"I didn't want to hurt you, but you know who I am. I told you from the beginning. I'm sorry Bella."

I feel angry at his words, I'm not a child. I knew what I was doing.

"I wanted this, you didn't hurt me, at all. It was amazing, no one has ever made me feel the way that you do." I can feel the tears in my eyes, threatening to fall. I pull one hand out of his and swipe angrily at them. He sighs again.

"I've got to go. I should make sure my father is okay."

He gets up and pulls his jeans on, when he's dressed he turns to look at me.

"Bye, Bella."

In my heart it feels like he's saying goodbye forever. I knew that this was the deal. I nod, words not wanting to form. I watch with a lump in my throat, as Edward walks out of my room, I don't breath out until I hear the soft click of the door as it shuts after him.

I'm in love with Edward Masen, that realisation buckles my knees as I sink to the ground and let the hot tears run down my face.