"About your mom?" Roman eyebrows raised in curiosity. "The sweet old lady who retired to Florida?" As far as Roman knew Dean and his mom we're tight, and thick as theives. Dean never had a bad word to say about her.

"Umm no. Actually.." Dean sat up, pushing some of his messy brown hair back with his fingertips. "I never told you this Ro but uh.. that woman who i talk about all the time? She's my step mom. The person who raised me until I was about 13, is my real mom. She umm.. she wasn't a very nice person." Dean looked down and picked at the bedsheets, he honestly didn't want to continue. He didn't want Roman to know what used to happen to him only because he knew that it would cause Roman to look at him differently. He didn't want that for their relationship, but he needed Roman to understand why he couldn't go through therapy again and most importantly, he wanted Roman to know all of him. He couldn't keep this from him any longer.

"Dean.." Roman sat up too now and took Dean's hands in his own. "If this is hard for you to talk about.. you know you don't have to continue if you don't want too.."

"No. I want too. Trust me. I love you Ro, and I want you to know all of me. Even the bad parts." Dean lifted their connected hands to his chest and kept them there. "Just.. (he paused) bare with me okay? Some things i blocked out on purpose. My therapist used to tell me i blocked them out because of the pain." Dean exhaled heavily, then softly he looked into Roman's eyes and found the strength to continue.

"I used to think my mom loved me. She used to tell me everyday ya know? Up until i was about seven i had this great life. My mom was this big time accountant, and we had a great home. My dad was shit and bailed before i was born but it didn't matter because i had Ma. It wasn't until I got older that our lives became a real problem. My mom's best friend Janine used to visit her all the time. They used to play cards together, drink, laugh and I used to be able to play with them, they taught me some tricks of the trade, poker, blackjack and all the important street smarts i needed. They were fun. I really looked up to my mom. I admired her strength as single parent raising me. When i was ten, my mom lost her job and found out that we were in danger of losing the house, and that's when things turned... sour. We thought we were gonna be homeless within the next month... but Janine came to our rescue." Dean made a face as he mentioned this Janine woman. It was almost like... there was fear in his eyes, just talking about her. "She gave my mom everything she needed in exchange for one thing... the sexual services of her 10 year old son."

"Dean, oh my god.." Roman held his hand tighter and Dean gripped it, not letting go.

"I told my mom no, I didn't want to. I wasn't even a man in any way, shape or form, i don't know how I could possibly be attractive to an old woman; but my mom threatened to kick me out if i didn't do it. So at 10, i was forced into a non consensual sexual relationship with a 35 year old woman." Dean's voice cracked a bit as he spoke. "My mom used to fucking pimp me out for money for the mortgage. The things that woman made me do.." Dean forced his eyes closed and shook his head as he fought the bad memories, "She waited until I was thirteen to take my virginity. It didn't feel right. It hurt actually, because she wanted it so rough. I hated my mom after that. I hated that once I hit puberty i started to cum when she raped me. I was so broken i didn't know what love or sex was anymore. I became complacent. Her sex slave. I let her do it, and lost myself in the process. I hated myself and slowly but surely... I became nothing." Dean started to shed a single tear and that's when Roman decided to bring him closer. He held him in his arms so tight so Dean couldn't pull away. Luckily, Dean didn't want too. He wrapped his arms around his neck and held on to the one person he knew loved him unconditionally.

"How did you get away?" Roman felt compelled to ask. He had to know how Dean survived, how he became the strong person he was today.

"I went to school one day and my guidance counselor asked to speak with me. She said she noticed how my demeanor was always changing. I had these fits of anger where I would start fights at school randomly, and moments of pure depression and cuff marks from when she used to chain me to the bed to ride me. I told her nothing was wrong but she could see through my lies. She could just.. tell. She got to know me and when my walls came down i told her everything." Dean laughed humorlessly, "I fucking asked her if it was normal to sleep with someone older at 10, Ro." He shook his head, "I asked her if any of it was normal. She held my hand and simply told me no. I was in her office when she made the call and then ACS came.. I told them where Janine kept the pictures she used to take of me nude, showed them where she raped me and they took me out of the home immediately. Janine got arrested, but my mom packed up and ran that same day. They never caught her. I went to live with in foster care for a little bit, got therapy twice a week until i was 16, and eventually- luckily this old couple adopted me and gave me a better life."

Roman held Dean and caressed his back softly as he thought over this overload of information. He didn't know how to tell Dean that it was gonna be okay, or how to comfort him through the pain of reliving something very traumatic. All he knew how to do was give him this, his real love he had to offer and it seemed as though that was enough with the way Dean clung to him with his eyes closed.

"Can we lay like this?" Dean pleaded with his boyfriend and Roman nods, gently he fell back against Dean's pillows with the younger man on top of him. Silence crept in the dorm room and all you could hear was Roman breathing quite heavily.

"Ro?" Dean whispered.
"Yeah?" Roman said back, kissing Dean's forehead.

"You don't see me any differently now, do you?" The question scared Dean because he's never told anyone about his past outside of Seth before. Telling Roman all of this was a big step for Dean. It meant that he was ready for this man to be the one, not that he didn't feel like that already. But the question was.. did Roman?

"You've been through so much Dean. You're stronger than you know. I love you no matter what happened in your past and i don't see you any different, and i never will." Dean smiled and looked up into perfect gray eyes. He ran his fingers through Roman's dark tresses and then gave him a soft kiss to his lips. Roman wrapped Dean up in his arms and kissed him back softly. "I still want you to come stay with me, just for a couple of days.." Roman begged once again, as he pulled away, holding onto Dean for dear life. "Just to clear your head. I think it will be good for you babe and honestly i think the school will understand-"

"I will." Dean said softly, smiling at Roman as he cut him off.

"Wait- really BABE!" Roman was smiling from ear to ear. Dean had just agreed to stay with him in NYC? He was so excited. This is all he's wanted for so long and honestly Roman thought it would be good for Dean. He needed to be somewhere safe right now where Roman could protect him. And the best place for that to happen would be with him in nyc.

"Yes. I will. I.. want to be where you are right now." Dean decided that was the best decision. He needed peace of mind and the only person that offered that right now was the man he loved so so much.

"Yes!" Roman fist pumped the air. "You know i love you right?" He asked as he leaned down so that their lips were almost touching.

"I know Ro.." Dean said with a smile, "And i love you."

After the final I love you, Roman kissed whatever doubts or insecurities Dean had away, and left him feeling nothing but his pure, unfiltered love.

A week later

"Dean? Baby i'm home!" Roman said it so obnoxiously as he came home from classes that day. He was so happy that Dean decided to take a week off from school and was now sorta staying there, that he didn't even realize that Dean wasn't physically in the living room to hear him say the words. Roman grabbed an apple then read Sami's note telling him he was over at Nikki's and they would be over later for a small get together. Roman would just text him later. As he walked into his room, eating his red apple he heard the shower running.

"Dean?" Roman smiled softly then put his bag carefully in his closet. He walked in the bathroom afterwards and Dean was there, casually soaping up. Roman could tell the water was sorching hot from the steam that was filling up the bathroom. The best thing though, was that Dean didn't even notice Roman as he just stood and watched the suds seep down Dean's beautiful abs, his thick thighs, straight towards his glorious dick, where droplets bounced off the head of that perfect cock to the drain. Roman bit his lip, getting lost in the view of his hot and sexy man until Dean noticed him there. He watched Roman watch him with the biggest smirk on his face.

"You like what you see?" Dean asked, bringing Roman's attention back from his dick to his face.

"Mmm." Roman nodded, then softly licked his lip. Dean was so hot regularly, but there was just something about him hot and wet that was turning him on to no end. But there was also something in the back of Roman's mind telling him to behave. Dean didn't need sex right now. He needed comfort, and that's all Roman was going to offer him. "Sorry to interrupt, i was just coming in to say i was home. That's all."

Roman turned to leave but as the door knob turned, Dean pushed the shower curtain back and laughed at his boyfriend, causing Roman to turn around, "Ro, where are you going? Take off your clothes and just get in. The water is nice and hot." The taunt in Dean's voice was not missed by Roman, neither was Dean biting down on his lip looking at Roman and letting the soap wash over his body.

Roman looked at him and almost let out the most pathetic whimper. Truth be told they haven't had sex since the morning before the Elias incident and after what Dean told him about his mother, Roman didn't know if he should break that barrier with Dean again. He was strong, a true survivor and Roman didn't want Dean to think he was taking advantage of him. He loved him enough to give up sex for a million lifetimes.

"I can't. Gotta study." Roman lied so easily and he could see the disappointment riddled all over Dean's face. But he had to understand, he was doing it for him. He was giving Dean time to heal emotionally before he opened that door of romantic intimacy again.

"Umm.. okay." Dean said sadly. He turned away from Roman and continued to shower. Roman watched for a few more seconds before he walked back out with his head hanging low. Roman stood by the bathroom door for just a second, before he decided to turn away and actually go do some homework. Maybe later he could help Dean understand why he thought having sex in the shower was a bad idea.

Maybe.

xxx

When Dean got out of the shower, he expected Roman to be in his bed with his laptop doing homework. But Roman was nowhere in sight. Dean ran a towel through his dark short hair then put on Roman's shirt and his boxers. As he was getting dressed he kept thinking about how Roman turned him down in the shower. That was the first time in a long time that Roman turned down making love with Dean. His insecurities rose as he thought back to his mom and the stories that he told. Maybe Roman thought he was damaged goods? Maybe the thought of being with Dean like that disgusted him now? Dean didn't want to think like that. No. Roman loved him. He did.. everything was supposed to be okay..

Wasn't it?

Dean walked into the living room and saw Roman in the kitchen making something for dinner. Despite his confusion and insecurities, Dean walked into the kitchen and slowly he wrapped his arms around Roman from behind. "Hey." Dean spoke softly, kissing his boyfriend's shoulder blade. Roman smiled and turned his head to give Dean a chaste kiss. Dean kissed him back and tried to let their lips linger a little longer but Roman had already pulled away to continue cooking.

"You smell so good babe." Roman said as Dean held onto him, watching him cook.

"I used whatever was in there." Dean responded, in the same breath he kissed Roman's back again and watched as Roman suppressed a moan with a bite to his lip. Dean could tell he wanted him, but for some reason Roman was holding back. So slyly, Dean put his warm hand up under Roman's shirt and caressed his abs softly while kissing his neck. "Mm. You taste good." Dean took small nibbles of Roman's skin, sending shivers down Roman's spine.

"Dean.." The breathless pant from Roman came out desperately, "Stop it. Sami and Nikki are coming over so I need to finish dinner." Roman removed his hand from underneath his shirt then he continued to make dinner.

"Fine." Dean said back frustratedly, before turning to walk away. As he was walking away though, something told him to stop, turn around and confront this ugly elephant in the room. And Dean being Dean.. did exactly that. "Actually it's not fine." He came up to the stove and turned it off, watching Roman's face change from calm to confused. "How come everytime i try to get intimate or close to you, you fucking pull away?"

"Dean." Roman rolled his eyes and turned the stove back on. "You're being delusional." The samoan man started stirring his homemade sauce again and this time Dean grabbed the ladle and slammed it into the sink. Some sauce got on Roman's new Tom Ford tee and he was absolutely livid. "What the fuck! What's your problem? THIS SHIRT COST ME 300 DOLLARS!" Roman screamed as he took it off and huffed towards his washer, tossing it in with some Tide pods.

"And what does your fucking ATTENTION cost?" Dean yelled back following him. "Fuck Roman we haven't had sex in a week and a half and i want you! I want us to be close and intimate. But everytime i get close you pull away or lie and say you have to study. If you don't want me because you think I'm damaged goods or something that has to do with my past, then just fucking say so!"

Once Roman heard that, he knew he had fucked up. Honestly he thought that sex right now would do more hurt than good but he was so fucking wrong. Dean was thinking that because of what he told Roman about his mom, Roman didn't want to sleep with him, but the opposite was actually happening. It was all a big misunderstanding.

"Dean it's not that. I definitely want you." Roman reassured him, moving closer to his boyfriend. "I just thought that since you were almost.. raped... that you wouldn't want sex for a long while. You're everything to me. Whether we make love or not I'm gonna be here for you." Roman held that sweet softening face of Dean's in his hands and then kissed him oh so softly. Their lips smacked against each other's and then Roman pulled away, just to look at him. "I'm sorry I made you think i didn't want you. Trust me I do. I saw you in the shower and all i could think about was your legs wrapped around me.."

"Yeah?" Dean kissed him again.

"... and my lips on your skin." Another peck from Roman.

"Mm. Keep going." Dean said as he slowly walked them to the couch.

"My hard dick buried deep in that tight ass." Roman picked Dean up off his feet, and Dean's arms so easily went around him. They kissed their way to the couch and then fell on top of it, Roman's tongue found its way inside of Dean's mouth and the younger man moaned as he slowly kissed him back. They haven't kissed this heavy in such a long time that Dean almost forgot that Roman was the best at giving it as good as he got it. His big hands lifted Dean's shirt above his head and it fell onto the floor. "You gotta stop stealing my clothes." Roman commented, grabbing at Dean's thigh, and tossing it over his waist so his erection could grind hard against Dean's.

"How about you punish me for wearing them.. daddy." Dean knew Roman had a bit of a kink for being called that and when his man bit his lip at his words and turned Dean over on his stomach fast, he knew he did very well with the name dropping.

"Mm. I love it when you call me that." Roman smirked and slowly he tore Dean's boxers off. Watching Dean's plump ass come into Roman's perfect view. Dean was now naked, on his couch begging to be fucked and Roman was ready to give him all he needed.

He stood up and took off his sweats as Dean watched, his blue eyes turned a shade darker as Roman's beautiful penis shined bright for his baby blues. He got back on top of him and then slapped Dean's ass, watching it jiggle just for him. "I love your ass baby." Roman gave it an appreciative massage and Dean moaned softly. His erection pressed between Dean's asscheeks as he laid his body on top of Dean's. He gave him a soft kiss and as his hand moved down the side of Dean's body..

KNOCK

KNOCK

KNOCK.

"Fuck." Roman stopped kissing Dean immediately and got up, tossing Dean his clothes. "I totally forgot about our friends!" He laughed popping on his sweats. "Sorry babe. Continue later?"

"Oh we are definitely continuing later." Dean laughed too, giving Roman a light kiss. "Go finish dinner. I got the door."

Roman smiled happily, "I love you."

"I love you too."

"So did you and Sami ever talk it out?" Dean asked Nikki as he sat in Roman's lap. They all had eaten and now Sami, Nikki and Seth were talking in Roman's living room. Sami and Nikki looked at each other and then smiled, nodding simultaneously.

"Yeah we did actually. " Nikki spoke up, "He explained everything to me and my sister told me everything too. She was hurting because she still loves Sami but, she's ok with it now, she's moving on. Apparently there is someone new she met online. His name is Daniel. And they're both like hippie trash together. He owns his own Bar and everything." Nikki shrugged. "It all worked out."

"Hey that's weird, our friend back in Ohio owns a bar, he's all about the environment too. His name is Daniel. Dean... you think it's the same one?" Seth asked his best friend.

Dean just shrugged, "Could be. Small world huh." Dean turned to Sami, "Have you spoken to Kevin since?"

"Unfortunately no." Sami looked down "He said he needed space so that's what I'm giving him. I miss him a lot though, the lie was just too big i guess." Sami tried not to let it bother him, but as he saw Dean kiss Roman he felt.. empty without Kevin in his life.

"He'll come around Sam. Don't worry." Roman put his hand on Sami's and the ginger was thankful in that moment for his best friend.

"Hey! Enough of the sad shit. Have you guys forgot why we're here?" Nikki raised her glass, "We are supposed to be celebrating Sami's new job as the head of advertising at B.C.K!" Sami smiled and everyone raised their glass toasting to him.

"Oh and one more thing.." Sami said softly, pulling everyone's attention in. "Ro, with this new job comes a new car and a great salary so.. I'm moving out officially next month!"

"Really? That's amazing Sam." Roman was proud of his best friend.

"Ro, that means we get to fuck in his room." Dean said it and it caused everyone to laugh.

As people were laughing Sami got a text from Kevin and it said to come outside. "I'll be right back guys." Sami said to the group, and then he exited the apartment. Kevin was there, waiting for him. Sami wanted to smile but he told himself not too. This could be Kevin officially breaking up with him. "Hey." Sami said softly. "You wanted to talk?"

Kevin shook his head no, then looked into Sami's beautiful eyes. "I don't want to talk." Kevin simply responded, taking Sami's hands in his. He pulled Sami in, then gave him a soft passionate kiss. Sami finally smiled against his lips, kissing him back with just as much passion as he was getting.

The group wanted to see what was taking Sami so long, they all got up and when they opened the door they all saw Sami kissing Kevin quite passionately as Kevin squeezed his ass generously in his hands.

"Oh shit!" Nikki screamed with a smile

"Get it Sam!" Roman added on, laughing with Nikki. Sami stuck up his middle finger at them while he kissed Kevin then Kevin pulled back, blushing.

"If you guys don't mind.. I wanna celebrate with Sami on my own now.." Kevin grabbed Sami's hands and pulled him towards his apartment. The group catcalls them both and Sami smirked before the door was closed in their faces.

xxx

Later that night, Roman and Dean were kissing in bed, trying to be quiet because Seth and Nikki took Sami's room. They were completely naked underneath the covers, and Roman had both of their dicks in his hands, stroking them to orgasm. Dean couldn't stop moaning in his mouth, or calling out Roman's name as he felt Roman bring him to the brink then stop. "I want you inside of me. No condom, just you. " Dean panted softly.

Roman smirked then leaned over to grab the lube, and as he was reaching for it, Dean's phone rang. Roman looked at the number, but he didn't recognize it. He handed it to Dean and Dean look at it in confusion before answering, "Hello?" Dean panted softly, watching Roman lube up. "Who is this?"

The voice breathed once, twice then a third time before it spoke, "Baby? Is that you?"

Dean couldn't believe what he was hearing. It had to be a dream. He hasn't heard this voice in over 10 years. The woman who gave him up for money to a child abuser, the woman he was supposed to love him more than anyone else.

... "Mom?"

A/N: I haven't updated in a long time. If you call 22 days a long time that is. The reason is alot of things. The most important reason being how i got a private message from someone on here (no i wont say their penname) saying a bunch of mean things to me to the point where i considered never coming back again. I don't know why this person decided to send me this very long, nasty message but it's made me reevaluate my time writing for ambreigns. I don't want to get into it, but my precious friend/cinnamon roll tokkida was the one who help me find my center and come back because i really wasn't planning on it. So thanks chica.

Anyway, wasn't that chapter so emotional?. It was hard getting through the beginning of the chapter because of how emotionally charged it is, but yeah I got through it. Don't worry we still got a few more to go. I honestly love you guys, truly. -Melle