I do not own Adventure Time or any of the characters.

Not My Life

Finn opened his eyes and saw a woman sitting beside him looking shocked that he was awake. But there was something off. The woman wasn't any he had met before. She was human and looked a lot like him. Somehow, part of him knew her, even though he had never met another human in his life.

"Mom?" Finn asked tiredly.

"I'm here Baby," she said. "I'm here."

"Where am I?" Finn asked.

"You, young man, are in the hospital," a second human said walking over in a navy blue jacket with some kind of badge said.

Humans, Finn thought. Human cop. I'm in trouble for going into a coma after chasing a whywolf halfway across Ooo.

"Do you remember anything?" the cop asked.

"I remember chasing a whywolf that had my brother halfway across Ooo until Marceline killed it, then something hit me and put me in a coma, I think," Finn said.

"You were...what?" his mother asked. "What the hell is a whywolf? What's Ooo? Who's your brother?"

"Are you fucking stupid?" Finn asked.

He had taken up swearing at about fifteen for whatever reason and had given up on not killing sentient enemies at sixteen when a bandit almost killed Marceline.

"Ooo, is the world we live in," Finn said glaring at her. "Whywolves are werewolves that study science. My brother is Jake the Dog."

"You mean our pet dog?" his mother asked thoroughly confused. "And we live on Earth. And what the hell makes you think werewolves are real?"

"Son," the cop said. "You live in New York City and you fabricated an entire world in your dreams."

"What possible reason could I have for that?" Finn asked.

"Guilt," the cop said. "You were found beside that dead girl and you were holding the bloody knife. You murdered her!"

"There's one problem with that theory," Finn said. "I was in a coma, wasn't I?"

"Well...you...um..." the cop struggled to think of a theory. "You...probably fell into the coma just after murdering the girl out of guilt."

"I didn't kill anyone and you have no idea what you're talking about," Finn said. "Was there even any blood on my hand?"

"Well," the cop said. "Um, no."

Finn shook his head then glared at him.

"Can I leave now?" Finn asked.

"Fine," the cop said. "But you are definitely not out of the woods."

The cop and Finn's mother both left and Finn got dressed then met his mother in the waiting room. They walked out to some form of box on wheels then drove to a building somewhere in the middle of the city.

"Go to bed," his mother said. "You have school tomorrow."

"School?" Finn asked.

"Yes," his mother said. "School."

"I'm not going to school," Finn said.

"Yes you are," his mother said. "Now go to bed!"

"It's only like six o'clock," Finn complained.

"NOW!" his mother screamed.

Finn glared at her then turned and walked into a hallway and looked around. A door to his left had a sign saying it belonged to him and everyone else could stay out. He pushed the door open and then slammed it behind himself and looked around. his walls had posters of humans in camouflage uniforms with long black things that looked like bo staffs with strange pieces sticking out of the side. There were also a couple with extremely gory and disgusting zombies. His bed was in the corner to the left with a TV against the wall at the foot of the bed. There was a white rectangle box with a circle and long oval in it and a black rectangle on top of it.

"Don't know, don't care," he said looking around again.

Beside the bed, was an end table with a single picture. The picture was of him and a girl hugging and smiling at the camera. He had no clue who it was but he wasn't paying much attention to it because beside it was a black boomerang with a ring on the inside of the bend and a wide C inside.

"Pistol," Marceline said remembering the lesson Marceline had given him about old world weapons called guns.

Finn lay on his bed and closed his eyes and the picture showed up inside his eyelids. Instantly his eyes shot open again and he grabbed the picture holding it over himself so he could see it. The girl was obviously Marceline but less pale and without any bite marks. In the bottom left corner there was a short message.

The message read, "In remembrance of the best thing to ever happen to me. I'll miss you. All my love, Marceline."

He set the picture back in its place just as his mother walked in.

"I'm sorry for yelling," his mother said. "We've talked about you living in dreamland."

"I don't know you," Finn said flatly. "I belong in Ooo. I've never met you before. This is not my life."

His mother instantly turned and walked out slamming the door closed behind her. Finn closed his eyes again and memories of Marceline began flooding into his head. The most recent, excluding the chase he had been on, was the last time he had fought the Lich. Marceline had been wounded and was bleeding out, which vampires apparently could still die of, and Finn had allowed her to feed on him until she was healed. Then, she had thanked him by kissing him, except for real that time.

Eventually, Finn drifted off to sleep and before he knew it his alarm clock was going off. He shut it off then took a shower and brushed his teeth then got dressed and sat at the kitchen table. After a few minutes, his mother walked out with a golden retriever on a leash.

"Take Jake for a walk then I'll take you to school," his mother said.

Finn took the leash and went outside with Jake then sighed and began walking down the street.

"Please tell me you remember me," Finn said quietly looking down at Jake.

Jake simply barked in response. Finn sighed again and continued walking. After Jake had used the bathroom, they headed home and Finn's mother drove Finn to school in the family car that was too big for just the two of them.

When his mother had dropped him off and left, Finn walked inside and was immediately met by a tall, muscular boy with long, white-blonde hair and stubble that matched it, and one with fiery red hair, more muscles than a body builder, and an angry look.

"Look who's here," the one with white hair said. "Wha'da ya think Cody? Should we beat him or give him a swirly?"

"Let's do both," Cody said. "And then you and me'll go visit poor, dead, Marceline and let her know her dear darling Finn's on the way, ain't that right Mitch?"

"Yep," Mitch said.

Mitch moved to grab Finn and Finn grabbed his hand at the base of his thumb and twisted until Mitch fell to his knees begging him to let go. Then Finn smashed his knee into Mitch's face. Cody threw a kick at Finn and Finn ducked under it then drove his knee into Cody's groin and turned to walk away only to be faced by an old human with a large belly, no neck, a swollen tomato nose, a fancy looking suit that was a size to small despite being extra large, and a face so red it looked like he was holding his breath.

"Office, now," the man said evenly despite the rage painted on his face. "All three of you."

Finn followed Mitch and Cody to the office and the man shut the door behind them.

"Mind explaining what happened?" the man, Finn suspected principal, asked.

"They threatened to beat me up and give me a swirly so I defended myself," Finn said. "They also made fun of Marceline."

"And that makes beating them okay?" the man asked. "You're suspended for two weeks and I don't care that you've been in a coma for three months. Get to class."

Finn turned to leave and ducked under a punch then returned the favor driving his elbow into Cody's face.

"ENOUGH!" the man shouted picking up his phone. "All three of you are going home and getting mandatory anger management courses. Now leave."

Fifteen minutes later, Finn's mother took him home and told him to stay in his room for the rest of the day. Then, she went back to work and Finn went to get breakfast. When Finn's mother got home, she spent an hour and a half just yelling at him for getting into a fight then sent him to bed. He could already tell he was going to hate his new life.

THE END

Read and review.