I woke up at 4 in the morning to my sister hurriedly getting ready. I almost crawl out of my room, due to having just woke up, and greet her very shyly.
"Hello, Rose." I almost whisper while rubbing my eyes.
"Hiya, Violet. You're not a morning person, from what I can remember. So, what'cha doin' up so early, petal?" My sister replied.
"I don't know." I reply before yawning. "Why are you in a hurry? Leavin' me, are you?"
"Of course not, lovely. I just have to go and get Ash for two in the afternoon and he's in Arizona. I love ya, sis."
"Do ya want me to make ya a cup 'o' tea for your journey? I know just the stuff to wake you up."
"Alright then, I have to leave in ten minutes." After she said that, I strolled into the kitchen and got a to-go cup from the cupboard while I began boiling the kettle. I have a secret weapon for anyone who needs it: powdered caffeine.
I have the most gigantic tub of it in the back of the small cupboard. I grabbed it, along with a berry/green tea bag.
"What the fuck is that. Look, drug lord, you look like one. But, damn, I didn't know you were one." Rose sniggered at her own joke.
"It's not meth, its caffeine. My little secret."
"Oh, then… gimme dat shiz."
"Shut up, dude." I yawn again.
"You're so not a mornin' person if caffeine is your best friend."
"Shush, you're pretty much yelling." I wine.
"I've told Dan and B to keep an eye on you."
"What? I can handle myself, ya know. I don't need looking after by my friends." In that moment I hand Rose her caffeine filled tea and she gives me a raised eyebrow that described her thought: Bitch-after-last-night-I'm-not-so-sure. "Okay, your right. What did you say?"
"Well: "I just wanna make sure she's safe while I'm gone, so keep a close eye on V. Kk, Dan? That goes for Barry, he's gotta make sure she's safe, too." And Dan replied with: "Alright, is she alright with this? Does she even like us?"
I slapped my hands over my mouth. "FUCK! I can't believe I acted that badly. Where's my phone. I don't care about what you said next, I just need my phone." I jog into my room and immediately regret it as my boobs bounced and hurt my chest.
"DANNY, I'M SUPER SORRY! I TOTALLY WASN'T MYSELF LAST NIGHT! PLEASE FORGIVE ME. I'M SO SORRY!" I miss spelt a few words, but thank god for autocorrect, it turned out how I wanted it to.
A few moments later he replied. "No no, Lizzie. I don't want to hear that. You don't have to be sorry to me. I completely understand."
"Thank you. Really, thanks."
"No problem." After I texted Dan, I opened with the same thing with B. His answer was very different:
"Dahlia, I really am hurt by what you said."
"I'M REALLY REALLY SUPER SORRY! I TOTALLY DIDN'T MEAN IT! I CAN'T BELIEVE I SAID THAT! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HARD IT WAS NOT TO STAB MYSELF IN THE UGLY FUCKING FACE. I REALLY AM A TERRIBLE PERSON AND I SHOULD THROW MYSELF OUT OF THE WINDOW. EVEN IF YOU STILL HATE ME, THANK YOU." He couldn't tell that I only meant it slightly; I wanted to stab myself in the chest, not the face.
It took several moments for him to reply. In the meantime, my sister was on the way out to Arizona to pick Ash up. "Rose, I can't let you leave quite yet."
"Why?"
I get my bag out of my room and get two items out of it: The dagger (which was in its case now) and my purse.
"Here, take this for defence if you get tackled and I'll give you the train and bus fare there and back."
"You don't have t-" I cut her off.
"I want you to have the safest of travels. Be careful, alright." I say as I pull her in for a hug. She happily returns it and leaves.
My phone buzzed after a short period of silence. "Violet, I'm not sorry because I did nothing." It read. Another one came through just before all of my last hopes and dreams were smashed to bits. "But I forgive you. Now is there anything you need?"
I smiled. "No thanks, but just in case I end up needing you, could you leave your door open."
"Alright, if you want to get up here, just tell me. Rose told us to look after you so, I'm trying to do her a favourite."
"Fair enough." I threw my phone down on the couch and decided to make the guys some breakfast pancakes. Right before that though, I put my make-up on my face and arms, and wore my loose black tunic with some jeggings to look presentable. I through on the army jacket my dad had given me too. The pancakes had strawberries, blackberries and maple syrup on them. I figured that if the guys were up at 4 in the morning for me, that I ought to be kind, especially after what I'd said to them the night before.
"B, I'll do my best to hurry up to you." I text.
"Are you alright? What's up?" He replies with a little confused emoji at the end of it. I smiled at the attempt to use an emoticon as now I use them on auto pilot.
I don't reply to the text as I prepare the food and put them each in to-go boxes. My reason for having to-go items in my apartment is that when I still lived in the UK, instead of leaving loads of plates in my room when I did eat, there was disposable boxes, a lot easier to deal with in my opinion.
I put my slippers on and made my way up to their apartment, trying not to rub my eyes. I wear super cheap make-up because that's all I'm able to afford if I want nice and new gadgets. And boy, do I love my gadgets.
I knock on the door calmly, feeling that if I just burst in, they'd find it rude just now. My hands come together in front of me. (The food boxes were in a plastic bag.) Dan opens it and I look up with a tired smile on my face.
"Hello, Violet." He greets me tiredly. The smile drops and I look down at my feet before replying.
"I'm really sorry, Daniel. I got a little bit upset last night… over a stupid thing. I'm sorry… I'm sorry you had to get up so early on your day off, for me. You didn't have to, you know I'd be okay."
"It's quite alright, Lizzie. I don't mind." He smiled at me.
"Hey, Dan is she up here already?" A tired man asked as he approached us. 'Oh god, no…' I thought as my eyes accidentally widened. A fieriness came to my cheeks as my head shot down to the floor. My lazy bed-head bun and my fringe fell in front of my eyes. "I thought she'd take her time."
"Dude, she's literally right in front of me." Dan replied.
"Oh, morning Violet." Barry yawned. I saw his slippers slide over next to Dan in the doorway. I immediately bowed in a Japanese style.
"Good morning, Barry-san. I apologise for you being up this early for me. I also apologise for my words last night. If it makes this morning any better for you both, I made breakfast." I rose from my bow, and saw Barry with alarmingly wide eyes. I didn't know what it was that made him do so, but for a while I was too afraid to ask. We stood in awkwardness and I realised Dan looked slightly shocked too.
'Okay, someone has to end this shit.' I thought to myself before clearing my throat and speaking up. "Excuse me, Barry-san, Danny senpai, are you okay? You look a little frazzled, my lovelies. I know it's four in the morning and I'm free to repeat what I said if you didn't hear me the first time." I blinked five times in a row before staring deep into Dan's confused eyes.
"No, I understand. I just don't really get why you became so formal as soon as B turned up at the door." Dan spoke in a questioning tone.
"It's because I realise I hurt his feelings because I acted childish enough to say we couldn't be friends if he kept touching me. It's honestly not at all what I meant, but I am a walking mess right now and don't know how anything should be said anymore. My social awkwardness has never been this bad before. So, again, I apologise to you both. And I appreciate you both so much that I made you guys breakfast so you don't have to." The last sentence was finished with me playfully winking, turning to the right a bit and playfully swinging a 'thumbs-up' to the side.
"Thank you, Violet. I appreciate breakfast so much." Barry smiled. "Why don't you come on in?" He moved to the side and welcomed me into their home. Dan makes his way to the living room and I follow until I detour into the kitchen. Grabbing cutlery, I yawn and force my eyes back open. I carry in their food and utensils, hand them it and sit down on the couch.
"Cheers, Violet." Dan smiled.
"That sentence will never sound right without my accent. It will never sound right, ever." I smiled back politely. My hair was starting to get on my nerves as it wouldn't stay out of my face. I end up standing again and pulling the hair tie from the dyed jet black mop of hair while singing to myself, filling the silence.
"~ Baby, if I'm half the man I say I am, if I'm a woman with no fear just like I claim I am; Then I believe in what you say, there's nothing left for you to do. The only proof that I need is you. ~" I mutter while yanking the bobble from my bed-head hair. It falls down, looking a little bit messy, but mostly alright, before I begin combing through it with my fingers. To reach the ends, I have to brush my black hair on to my shoulder and lean to the side.
From the right of me I hear a muffled sentence. "Holy fuck, V. Your hair is gorgeous. And so is your food."
"Dan, stop talking with food in your mouth, it's disgusting." Barry said after a quiet swallow. "But wow, V. Your hair's beautiful."
"Thanks… I guess. Imma throw it back up in a minute." I turn to face them with my hands on the top of my head so they didn't see the ginger roots. "But this is what the hair looks like without the straighteners being taken to it. Yes, I straighten my hair every mornin' I leave the house." I slowly shake my head around so my hair flew around. "L'Oréal: Because you're worth it." I whisper sensually, making the guys laugh.
I brushed my hands through my hair again, to help me tie it up. Once it sat at the top of my head, I slammed my ass down on the couch and lay my head back. I quickly close my eyes and sigh with defeat. "Fuuuuuuuck." I look up again with a scowl pasted on my face. "God-fuckin'-damn-it. Panic! At The- freaking- Disco. I gave you one job, Panic! One freaking job."
"What's wrong Violet?" Barry asks.
"I've got a freaking song stuck in mah head. I can't be fucked with it right now… Just think of something else. That's all I have to do." I sigh. Dan just smiles and keeps on eating. "Dan if you keep neckin' it, you'll get heartburn. Slow down."
"Sorry, Violet. It's just 'cuz it's so damn good." He replies.
"Alright, alright. Stop with the flattery or I'll start with the battery… and not get caught." I smile devilishly and Dan immediately shuts up. By now, I was worried whether either guy had noticed my ginger roots. That's when I remembered a package would be arriving later. "Oh, yeah…"
Barry raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"I just remembered that I ordered something a while ago and it hasn't come yet."
"How long ago was it?" Dan asks.
"Umm, about… I think a week ago but I'm not too sure."
"Give them a call, if you're worried about it." Barry kindly suggested.
"No thanks." I bluntly reply.
"Why not?" Dan asks. "It's worth a try."
"Do you arseholes forget that I'm socially awkward around my sister and my friends? I hardly ever use the phone because of it."
"Because of what?" Dan asks and I face palm. A crack sounded around the room.
"Do you not remember the whole anxiety thing we talked about…? That's kinda why I'll have random outbursts, like last night."
"Oh, yeah. That's right. You and your anxiety attacks." Dan nodded, knowing to glaze over the subject. Barry looked up from his food and I hid my face from his hard stare with my hand. He said nothing, luckily. He must've remembered the conversation we'd had a while back about my life story.
The sun poured into the windows and I ended up squinting. The headache began; and guess what I didn't have that may have helped: My glasses.
"Holy fuck, oh my god. Where are my specs when I need them?" I say before smearing an empty hand on my face, sleepily. "I'm gonna go get them before my head fuckin'… explodes. Okay?"
"Alright, Violet." Dan says, his tone muffled. Barry gave an unimpressed glance, going his way. I smiled until I got out of their apartment, and when the door had shut I started laughing. It was Barry trying to make Dan talk less that started the laughter. I don't know why, but it seemed impossible to me.
I reached my hallway and peered at the photos of me and my dad on the wall, but I couldn't see them very clearly without my glasses so I had no other choice to go put them on. I walked into my apartment… door. There was silence aside from the abnormally loud bang from my sudden movement. For some reason today, my sight was even worse than usual.
That's when I realised I hadn't been putting my eye drops in since I moved into the apartment. I'm supposed to put them in every day. Fuck.
Panic filled me as my headache worsened (after walking into the door) and my vision became even blurrier (after walking into the door). At least I knew where my glasses case was, not so much the actual glasses, though. I dove at my bag after tripping on my own feet and shouting; "Why is it when I need my sight, I can't see?" beforehand.
The case was empty, but I soon found the specs on the mantel piece. After placing them on my face, my vision was good enough to make out path ways and objects but still pretty blurry.
I picked up my eye drops, my bag, some paracetamol, a hair brush, my phone and the particular photo that I was staring at in the hall. The photo still wasn't clear enough to have the memories flood my head. I stuffed the different objects into my bag and returned upstairs. Again, I walked into the door on my way in. After I yelled: "For fucks sake!"
Inside the living room I heard them laughing. "It's not my fault everything's so blurry right now! Well, actually it is... But… C: You're a cunt, U: You are a cunt, N: Nothing but a cunt, T: Turn around, you're a cunt!" I yell, after turning to the door and pointing vigorously. "Wait… Violet, it's a door, it can't turn around. Well, that was a massive waste of time." I turn back around and I see Dan behind me laughing so damn hard, I could have killed him. In that moment I began laughing because of how funny it actually was. My laugh started with my shoulders shaking and developed into me having to wipe my eyes from the tears of laughter. "Goddamnit, I'm a fool. I'm such a fuckin' fool shouting at a door because I walked into it." I giggle. "My god, I'm such a big dummy head!"
Dan and I mercilessly giggled as we made our way back into their living room. Barry sat in the armchair still munching away at the pancakes I had provided him with, like the whole 'me-walking-into-and-continuing-to-shout-at-a-door' thing never happened. The bags under either mans' eyes made me feel bad. They also reminded me that I had to put my eye drops in.
"Suzy is going to murder my little soul… if she finds out." I say before slamming back down on the couch, I pull my eye drops out of my bag and open the bottle. "I haven't been puttin' mah eye drops in, Suzy will murder me if she finds out. I'm kinda supposed to put them in every mornin'."
"Jesus, Violet." Dan cursed.
"Shut up. I'm terrible at remembering everything. One year I forgot it was my birthday." I say while flipping my ponytail off of my shoulder.
"Really? My god, you really are stupid." Barry spat, trying not to literally send pancake all over the room.
"Shut your mouth, bitch. If you were alone for 2 months and had no human contact with anyone but your cat, and nothing to really get excited about, you'd forget too." I said calmly with a completely unamused/ flat face. "If you are squeamish, this is your warning to look away now." I warned while tilting my head back. I'm so used to putting eye drops in, that I don't have to hold my eyes open to do it. I easily dropped the liquid into my pupils and dropped my head after closing my eyes. I scrunched my eyes up and loosely shook my head around while a shiver run up my spine.
I opened my eyes, to Barry walking past me with an empty to-go box and a fork and Dan passing his utensil and box to him. It was now awesomely clear, as I could see properly again.
This sparked a wire in my head. I plucked the photo out of my bag, which was in front of me on the floor, and put my knees up in front of my face. I stared at the photo of my Dad and I. Marcel looked rather young considering he was 46 in the picture.
Dan looked over my shoulder after I let a smile rip over my otherwise sad features.
"Who's that guy? I thought you said you never had a boyfriend." Dan asks.
"I hate to break it to ya, sunshine. But that is my Dad when he was 46. I didn't have a friggin' boyfriend, you dildo." I looked over to him accusingly, rolling my eyes beforehand.
"Damn, really? Are you fucking with me right now?"
"How do you think he stayed in the army for so long? He stayed young because he looked and, surprisingly, acted like it too. This gentleman right here, is… was, sorry, the king of Bioshock 1 and 2, lord of our penis castle in Minecraft, an Argonion named Ether with 49 levels in Skyrim, a soldier, otaku as fuck—urm—, a vice project manager for a little while, one of the fittest 48 year olds on the planet and most importantly: This man here is Marcel Marco Blackwell, my father. This guy was one of my only senses of joy for a lot of my life." I state, as if it was a speech for a court case.
Dan stared wide eyed for a moment. "Wow, you think really highly of your Dad. But then again, he sounds like an amazing person. Doesn't he, Barry?"
"Yeah, he sounds awesome." Barry cheered. Dan's eyebrow quickly cocked and he looked at me.
"Wait, what?"
"Aside from the ceiling, what's up, dude?" I ask.
"He was lord of your penis castle in Minecraft?"
"Yes, we built a castle that had the structure of three dicks, complete with ball sack. My dad was the best kind of weird. My kind of weird." I happily state. "I've said it once, and I'll say it again: He was the only person who made me happy and let me be myself around him. I kinda still stick with that." I shove my fingers under my glasses, rub my eyes and yawn again, shoving my face into my palms straight afterwards. "So, frickin'… tired. I literally could sit here for five more minutes and end up fallin' asleep."
"I don't mind if you do, V." Barry spoke up. I rolled my eyes at him but regretted it immediately as the headache was still very prominent. I placed the photo beside me on the couch and curled up into a small ball.
The only sound that could be heard was Barry clicking at the mouse and keys on his little silver mac. You know, the one that he's covered in stickers like a little 13 year old girl. This silence was perfect, and as much as I wanted to joke around and spoil it, I wanted to sleep even more.
I ended up completely passing out. I heard Dan say; "Damn, she really can't help but be cute. Can she?" before I passed out.
I wanted to murder him. So. Freaking. BADLY.
In my dream, (I'd always been one to have really creative dreams; ya know, the ones that are so creative that they could never happen.) I was on stage with Fall Out Boy and Panic! At The Disco performing alongside Patrick Stump and Brendon Urie. It was so cool because they smiled at me and spoke to me like they were my best friends after the show. A-and the people loved ME! I sounded incredible; of course, in real life, I sing like a potato.
That's when it got weird. Barry and Dan then kidnapped me, took me to the office and Suzy tortured me… with make-up. Ross filmed it all, Kevin edited it and Arin approved for this to be put on the channel. I was locked in a cage and eventually starved almost to death. Until one day, Suzy became nice and took me to the hospital. I was an-hour-close-to-death sick apparently.
I woke up; my eyes shot open. I appeared to be on my side, stretched out. Swiftly moving my head, Dan jumped and my head shot up in the air.
"Jesus Christ!" He yelled. Wait… I was on his lap… the whole time. I fell back on to his knee cap with force, an ear splitting thud (from my perspective only) came with it. My glasses fell off my face and on to the floor. Damn it. The side of my head killed because, even though they are hipster glasses, they had a metal frame.
I sat up, the whole of my spine, my neck and groin area clicked and cracked.
Barry looked up from his mac and smiled. "You took a nap, indeed. It didn't take you two minutes to get there, never mind five."
"Shut up." My croaky voice jumped into action; considering I didn't expect it, my throat hurt. I coughed a bit while I stretched over the side of the couch and picked my specs up, using all of the strength I had in my arms and the body parts that remained on the sofa. I croaked out some weird sounds as I tried to stay firmly on the couch.
Pushing the glasses to my face—and nearly poking my eye out in the process— I arose from the bent over position.
"Are my boney legs comfortable enough for you?" Dan asks while I trace the side of my head, that I'd been lying on, with my finger.
"All I know is that I have marks from your jeans on the side of my face," I begin and then look at Dan's lap. "And, I got foundation and drool all over your trousers… Your welcome." I grin a wide, devilish grin with intended sarcasm.
Dan looks down at his knee and pouts. "For god's sake- Goddamnit, Violet. I didn't think you had make-up on but drool?"
"Yes, drool." My face went dead pan. "I literally cake my face in the stuff, dude. Plus, no one has flawless skin, you should know that A: Complements don't work. And, B: You deserve this."
Smack.
"Ow. I was just trying to be nice." Dan muttered in a tired tone, while rubbing the red hand mark on the side of his face, doing his best to rid it. In his other hand was the picture in its frame. I snatched it out of his somewhat sweaty palm and dusted the mahogany lined piece of sunshine of his clamminess. I intensely scowled at him, staring right into his soul (His eyes) while I leaned forward, put the frame in my bag and rose up to a sitting position. I blink, moving my eyes to look down at my hands which were connected by intertwined fingers. Man, this… What a way to dull the mood, V. Jesus H. Christ, love. You fucked up big this time… Umm, what to do…?
I've got it!
Go on your phone and pretend you didn't scowl at Dan!
That's exactly what I did. I went straight on to Facebook and scrolled down my feed. While scrolling, I found a photo and read it out loud, due to being able to relate to it plus, it was really funny.
"Sticks and stones, may break my bones. Words, will always hurt me. Compliments make me uncomfortable. Let's face it, I've got social anxiety, I'm a wreck. Just-just go." It made me giggle a little bit. "Can totally relate to that, like." I mutter while still smiling. I scroll a bit further and saw a whisper app picture. "If your boyfriend tells you to lose weight, you should absolutely do as he says… Drop 150 pounds by dumping his ass and then go eat a pizza you sexy bitch, you. Truth. Pizza is bae."
Dan's eyes wandered over to me with a worried look pasted on his face. I noticed it but didn't say anything and kept on scrolling. There was a picture that I shared, tagging all of the grumps on it and thanking them but didn't read it out loud. It said: Family isn't always blood. It's the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to make you smile and who love you no matter what.
Dan and Barry were alerted by their phones straight away. I just kept on scrolling.
"Shit, that's nice of you, Violet." Dan says once he read the picture.
"I'm embracing my new life." I mutter before giggling at a picture of a glass Nike trainer with the caption: If Cinderella was from the North East…
The 'North East' referring to the UK's Gateshead and Newcastle area, my home town…s. So basically, the two towns split by the Tyne River.
"My god so true." I say while smiling and saving the picture. I texted it to Rosie and she replied with a simple 'Hahahaha'.
I kinda felt like talking and breaking the silence; so I showed Dan the picture. "Danny, look at this." I said leaning over to him.
"What is it?" He asks meeting me half way in my lean.
"A description of most of my comfort back home." I said. He read it and smirked.
"I've never seen you wearing sneakers before."
"Only because I won't allow you to catch me dead in them. But trust me, I've got like-" I stopped for a moment to count the number of pairs of trainers I had while my eyes looked up at the ceiling. I tutted for a second in thought. "-at least 23 pairs. At least."
"Wow dude."
"They were cheap pairs, obvs. But ya know. They're still sneakers no matter the price." I smile.
"What do you mean, you won't allow us to catch you dead in them?" Barry asked after being silent for so long.
"I don't want you to ever see me in trainers because… I just don't." I try to explain in the best way I can but B actually looked over his sickeningly-sticker-covered mac with a cocked eyebrow. "Look, I don't even know, mate. If I don't know we're all fucked aren't we?" The bearded one shook his head with a smile and got back to typing some random bullshit (probably work related stuff, and I regret what I've just said...fuck) down into his Apple laptop.
When I realised I was still leaning, I fell backwards until I hit the back of the sofa; I was on the edge so I couldn't see very far past my boobs after I'd locked myself into the position I'd landed in.
Still, I continue to scroll. I go straight past a picture even if it had a funny caption, china dolls creep me out. If I was easily terrified; why did I follow the Creepypasta page? God knows… Or does he?
My dream kind of floated back into my thoughts and I became recumbent, my head on the arm rest of the couch, accidentally kicking Dan with my feet.
'That shit was crazy. Duuuude, what was that? I adore Panic! At The Disco and Fall Out Boy, but jeez. I can't sing like that. I sound like a potato, not like that. I'm no opera-singer/high-note-reacher. My mind is fucking with me. Holy god, dude. That was totally unlike my head to do something nice for me.' I put my crossed of arms under my head and sighed to myself. My hair was rubbing up against my badly concealed cuts and I wanted to scratch my arm off, but the scabs on my exceptionally deep cuts would come off, I'd start to bleed and my secret wouldn't be a secret anymore. 'I'll not tell Rose about that dream if I don't remember… Write it on your notes.' I wrote up a brief description on my phone so that if I forgot I'd be able to remind myself when telling my sister, holding my mobile above my head.
In the process of doing so, I dropped my phone on my face. It connected with a rather loud slap.
"O-ow." I groan, unamused. "Goddamnit, phone. I'm sorry I have to type this but je-sus. Gimme a break." Dan looked at me, using concerned eyebrows. "What?"
"Nothing." He replied, sighing.
"There's definitely something."
"Nope. There's nothing."
"Dan," I turn to him. "Look at me."
He does as I instruct. I put my hand on the side of his face. "C'mon, what's up? I can see it in your eyes. What's wrong buddy?" My voice goes into a calm, comforting, sexy-ish tone. "You're my best friend, what's up, dude? Don't be afraid to tell me."
"I'm kinda worried about Rose is all…" He admits with a quiet but somewhat deep voice. Whoa. 'Whoa-whoa-whoa. Dan that was kinda hawt… FOCUS, VIOLET!'
I curse myself internally. "I know, it's easier to say than do… But, don't worry about it. I gave her train and bus fare and a dagger. If the boy causes her any trouble, I'll kick the living shit out of him." My words bring a smile to his face and he let out a content sigh before I playfully and gently tap his cheek with my fingers and smile back at Dan.
I turn away, get up, grab my bag and phone and wander off, trying to stretch my legs. Of course, Barry was confused as I didn't say anything. I wandered as far as half way down the corridor on their floor, before B opened the door and saw me lazily shuffling away down the hall.
If I didn't take a walk, my already sore legs would become worse than they are now. Yes, all this time I was trying not to curl up into a ball and cry in self-pity.
Right now, I didn't know whether I needed a hug, 6 dozen shots or 2 years of sleep. My main goal was to keep my physical pain a secret. I squinted in pain as my hip cracked as I made my way down towards the door exiting to the stairs. I hurt all over. 'It must have something to do with the way I'm lying in bed, or somthing.' I thought.
"Violet!" Barry called and I didn't turn around. "Where're you goin'?"
"Places!" I call back while rubbing my eyes. I curse in a whisper; as my eyes were still slightly damp from the eyeliner. I looked at my reflection in my locked phone's screen; I looked like I'd been crying because of the way I'd accidentally smeared my eye make-up down my cheeks. Not only that, but I looked completely panda-eyed. This was not good.
I heard footsteps bound towards me. This was not good. I felt a hand on my shoulder. This is not good. I was internally screaming that sentence, over and over again. He turned me around.
"Violet, are you alright?" He asks, actually worried.
"I'm fine, you nub." I say trying to turn around again.
"You're not, you've been crying."
"How many times do I have to be torn to shreds, before you realise when I'm upset and when I'm not?!" I slap his hand away from my shoulder. "Can I not fuckin' wipe or scratch my eyes?! Can I not take a walk?! Do you not trust me?! What is wrong with you?!" I accuse.
"It's not like that at all. I just didn't want you to feel-" Barry tries explaining what he means.
"Feel devoid of personality or character?! Devoid of independence?! Because you've fucking failed with that one! You're such an asshole! Is that what being lady-like is? Because if your right, it's not for me! I refuse to lack the physical emotion how I feel! I won't deal with it! If you don't trust me, go fuck yourself!" I marched down the hall. "Men! Men and their inability to understand anything! For fucks sake!"
I continued my annoyed march down to my apartment and in attempt to calm myself down; I began doing what I loved.
A/N Yo, bro! I should just shut up, huh? My rhyming will always be crap but... Fuck this shit, amirite?
Please Review! How do I know what you want to see or, if I spell some stuff wrong?