Authors note : you are all going to hate me! You have been warned.
the title comes from THE LONGEST DAY by BILLY JOEL...but you all knew that right?
Will returned home in a daze, tingling from his physical contact with Mac. He could still feel the ghost of her arms around his chest and her head nestled above his heart. Every fibre of his being hankered to be with her right now. She needed support and he'd let her send him away to Nina while she set off on her own into battle. Alone! Again!
Shit! She had been protecting him from the pain of her pain he realised. He should have known she would do that and been prepared to challenge her.
How had he let that happen?
He grew angry with himselfthen. He knew he had done what she asked at that moment, in her apartment. Done what she said she needed him to do to get herself through the next few days and weeks. He always found resisting Mackenzie impossible, he knew that …..except when he had resisted her begging to be forgiven, to be loved, to be cared for, to be told the message in her hacked voicemail. He should have loved her when she wanted him to. It would have solved everything. Now she wanted him to hate her and to be with Nina and now he was following her instructions? Seriously? Shit.
Will phoned Charlie determination in his voice.
"Hi Charlie" Will said urgently
"It's 3 in the morning Will, wha…" Charlie started to ask
"I need to know what time Mac's flight is, Charlie"
"Now Will, don't you go worrying our poor girl"
"Just need the facts Charlie. Is she going in the morning or later?"
"Mackenzie could tell you herself Will if she wanted you to know" Charlie replied cagily.
"Thanks Charlie" will said sarcastically when it became clear to him that he was never going to get the information he wanted from Charlie. "Oh! and I need a month" he put the phone down.
Will phoned the twenty four hour number on his agent's card. A customer liaison clerk, who identified herself Tracy, answered and he asked her to book him on the same plane to Heathrow that his EP was booked on in the morning.
"No problem Mr McAvoy, I'll get back to you asap" was her reply when she realised his Black Amex was of the metal kind.
Will started to add clothes to his holdall and fished his passport from his safe.
He checked the time…now 3.30 am. Too early to phone Nina.
His phone beeped as Tracy rang back to confirm the details of his passage to the uk.
"I've put this in an email," she began "but thought I should check in with you as it is only seven hours to departure" she explained. "You have a first class ticket from JFK to London at midday today. Your EP is in business class on the seating plan"
"How do you know that?" Will was curious.
"Ah well you said your EP was going so I searched for AC N bookings on the flights today and this is the only single one but it's one way." She chanted "There are no other possibilities."
"Thanks Tara, I'll check my email for the ticket, Can you upgrade Mac to first class do you think? As a surprise if possible"
"It's Tracy, and I can't imagine there's a problem with upgrading but your colleague will know before she boards if she hasn't yet checked in electronically."
Will searched his messages and printed his e-ticket. He lay down for a couple of hours but could only toss and turn. At 6am he showered, dressed and completed his packing. He answered his emails. At 7.30, the earliest time he felt he could phone Nina, he made the call
"Will? what is it?" came Nina's voice rough from sleep.
"Hello to you too Nina, you doing ok?" Will started
"Why are you calling so early, William?" Nina continued using the name she adopted when she disapproved of his actions "Is something wrong? You haven't been returning my texts" her voice accusing
"I am going to the UK today, Nina" Will says "and I'm ending our relationship. You have been nothing but lovely with me. You are not at fault. This is all about me. I apologise and you are quite likely going to hate me. I'm sorry to do this over the phone but I have to go. Today! Now! I apologise" Will ran out of steam
"Has something happened to Mackenzie?" Nina asked in a whisper
"I need to go now Nina. Good luck, I wish you well" Will said and cut the call
Will poured himself a cup of coffee and phoned for a cab to the airport. Being free of Nina felt good. He could not have kept seeing her, whatever Mac wanted.
Will arrived at the check-in area for the British Airways flight 40 minutes earlier than necessary wearing an A CN cap and dark glasses. He was impatient to see Mackenzie, his anxiety about her reaction to him going to London with her was building up. What if she made a scene? What if she totally rejected him?
What if she said she didn't love him anymore? He had gone over what she'd said to him incessantly and she had never actually rejected him.
Will took up a seat some distance from check-in to watch for Mac in case she needed help with her luggage. He shouldn't have worried because she arrived with two minutes to spare with Jim in tow. Charlie had sent an A CN car and Jim hauled her luggage to the weigh scales and stood as she waited her turn.
With Jim close beside her, Mac stood upright and kept a smile on her face. She spoke fast and he replied, shaking his head, though Will could make out what they said. Then they were in an embrace, Jim clinging to her as his shoulders began to shake. He broke off to walk away but turned after two paces and stepped back for another brief hug. Then Mac patted his face, kissed his cheek and gave him a warm smile as she shoved him towards the doors and the waiting car. He was wiping tears as he walked away.
Mac walked forward to the scales and Will got up and walked quickly to the security queue. He passed through the process without a hitch and repossessed his items from the ubiquitous plastic tray. He walked up the corridor that lead directly to the duty free shops and lounges and leaned against the wall half way along, waiting for Mackenzie. Several passengers gave him enquiring glances but his disguise was for the most part effective.
And then there she was, walking towards him stuffing items from her tray back into her pockets. She looked sad…..far less jaunty than she had been in Jim's company. Will pushed off from the wall and stood straight in front of her, barring her progress, removing his cap and glasses as he did so.
Mac saw his familiar outline in front of her and with recognition came her widest beaming unguarded smile. Her eyes crinkled at the corners and her expression was of happiness and complete devotion. He could see her love for him in her face.
Will strode towards her and drew her into a replica of their hug the previous evening. His arms wound tightly round her and her head automatically tucked under his chin above his heart. After a beat, her arms rose to encircle his torso and she snuggled into him. This was right, he knew he had been right. Thank God!
They held each other for a long time oblivious to the tabloid photo opportunities, Mac's hands curled into Will's shirt under his coat
After several minutes Mac started to squirm, gently pushing her way out of his embrace but Will could not let her go just yet….he'd almost lost her again and he needed the contact.
"Will? let me.." she began
"I know, I know …just "
"But you'll…" she trailed off
"I'm not going anywhere unless you're there too." Will said into her ear. "We are going to London together and doing this thing."
"But, Will…"
"No buts, together Mac." Will repeated as he released her and slowly stepped back. Looking down at her, he took possession of her hands "For Ever," Will added in a whisper with a genuine wide grin on his face. He was feeling…he was right there finally, completely.
"Coffee?" He suggested
Mac thought for a few moments "A latte with cinnamon" she stated "and a bacon roll" and she slid her hand round in his so that she could tangle her fingers with his.
"Come on, old man, let's find a trolley, I'm suddenly ravenous" she teased looking at him closely "Have you even slept?"
"So now bacon is the healthy option?" He remarked as he slung her bag over his shoulder before grabbing his carry-on.
"No, you're having the egg white omelette with low fat spread on your toast" she grinned giving herself up to the safety she always felt in Will's company. For some reason she felt ecstatic.
For the two hours, after they ate, they giggled as they window-shopped in the duty free area, selecting Christmas gifts that would suit their families, friends and colleagues . They agreed immediately on Charlie's scotch, but everyone else's was a hilarious exchange of suggestion and counter suggestion. They laughed so much, tears had to be wiped away. When Mac looked tired Will shepherded her towards the executive lounge area and she plopped into a seat while he collected chocolate covered strawberries and cups of tea from the courtesy snack table.
During the flight, Will gripped her hand, told her he loved her over and over and found he could fall asleep as soon as her head was on his shoulder. Mac said very little on the plane until they had both caught some sleep and were an hour from landing.
"We need to talk Will" she started, holding his fingers tightly in hers "You've made today magical ….I've been dreading this journey but instead it's been spectacular and…" she paused then started again "When I saw you, I really believed you were a mirage and I was already dead. I'm still not sure that I'm not" She looked up at him, her eyes focused on his.
"After two bacon rolls you might be" he shot back, his blue eyes twinkling…she'd said he'd made things good for her, that he'd made a difference. God he loved her!
"But you can't stay here with me, you have a job and a life and a team who depends on you for their jobs, for leadership." She said so quietly he barely heard her over the continuous drone of the engines.
"I only want you, Mackenzie Morgan McHale and the rest is just … it's irrelevant" Will fixed his gaze to hers. "There is nowhere else I want to be right now but here with you. You always make me want to be better. I'm selfish, I want that"
"And….. Nina?" Mac said the name hesitantly, as though afraid of his reply
"Oh! Mac, Nina was not the person for me. We're no longer together. That's over."
"Then you need to find someone else Will" Mac sounded sad
"Oh I have….and she has this lovely British accent and tells me off all the time" he grinned "She's a bit young for me but what the hell…I can cope with that."
"Stop please, you know we can't do this three thousand miles apart. I need to know I haven't ruined your entire life Will" Mac was becoming exasperated "You have to go back to Newsnight"
"And I fully intend that Mac, I'm on a month's leave and when you are improving I'll take you home with me and get back in harness…..gives us a goal!"
"No…my mum.." Mac began
"Your mother is great, but you two will kill each other after a month and I am looking after my own wife" Will almost shouted, then lowered his voice "it's a Nebraska thing!"
Mac blinked her large brown eyes at him, her expression suddenly closed. "What the fuck is happening here?" she queried as her eyes squinted in suspicion.
"I asked you to marry me Mac? It was only yesterday. Didn't know cancer increased short term memory loss" he sniped
"And I didn't say yes!" she parried "I'm not wrecking your life anymore"
"You will be if you won't marry me. Only you will ever be able to give me what I want"
"But I can't Will, not anymore. Being with me has no future, only pain, and misery and grief."
"Stalemate then" he said
"Yes" she said crisply
They were silent for several minutes
"You do realise I'm offering me and I won't survive another rejection Mac, I know how I'll feel because I thought you didn't love me all last summer." he slumped, dejected in his seat as though he was utterly finished. Tears formed in his eyes and he looked away from her, out of the window to where mist and clouds swept past.
Hearing his words, Mac marshalled her strength and sitting up a bit more she stated firmly
"I am not rejecting you, I would never…I'm saving you."
Mac hastened to reassure him, placing both her hands on his bare arm. "I love you and I always will. I'm not rejecting you" she said more firmly than before, willing him to understand and not take a rebuff from her response.
"I'm not being rejected?" Will asked
"Not at all" she confirmed
"And you care about me?" he checked further
"More than anyone in the world, ever" she assured him stroking his arm
"Then wear my ring Mac, it would mean so much to me…please" Will pleaded pulling a scuffed blue cardboard box from his pocket and fumbling it open
"But I don't…" her words tumbled out without thought when he cut her off
"Mac, what's the harm? Please…" and he turned to her with his blue eyes pleading – a look she had always found impossible to resist.
"I can't…" she began again but she was feeling totally exhausted and couldn't think of a reason not to make Will happy by such a small thing when he looked so despondent.
"All right…..All right! if it makes you happy I'll wear the ring but …. I don't promise anything more….I…i'm not going to be around long Will." She muttered, a lump forming in her throat as she thought about saying goodbye to him permanently and not being able to comfort him. Just the thought was killing her!
"Don't bank on it," Will drawled, his expression turned into a wide smile as he sat up in his seat, lifted the ring from the box and, taking her left hand, he placed the ring reverently on her third finger.
This should have happened years ago he thought to himself as he gazed at Mac's hand carrying his ring. He glanced at her. The look on Mac's face told him she was thinking the same.
He raised her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. Then he leaned over and kissed her on the lips gently before pulling her into a hug. "Mackenzie McHale, you will soon be transformed into Mackenzie McHale McAvoy, my wife. You can't die Mac, I forbid you to die." He said into her ear before kissing her temple
"Together we will be invincible!" he murmered sliding his hand over hers. Mackenzie tangled their fingers together and squeezed so that he could feel the solid band between his digits. He had finally done the right thing…..he just knew it.
"Mmmm" Mac acquiesced smiling but suddenly too tired to comment. Her head dropped back onto his shoulder. Will shifted his arm to pull her tighter as the hum of the undercarriage release echoed down the aisle.
"Not much longer now Mac, almost there" Will spoke quietly into her ear "Oh! and I forgive you, you know that, right? ….Mac?"
Will nudged Mac's shoulder with his, but got no response. Her head fell heavy against his upper arm, and her hand, though warm, slackened in his grasp.
Somehow, death was so not like sleep at all…. but if you keep up the pretence, you can prolong life for a few more minutes. He could stay like this, with her in his arms for the last time. He would have to lose her then- to the medics, the funeral people, her family. Will closed his eyes and concentrated on committing the smell and feel of Mackenzie McHale to his memory. He imagined he could feel her chest rising and falling.
Right now was just him….and her …for maybe 20 more minutes or so, they could still be Mac and Will.