OK HI so I missed Jearmin week again XD siiiigh but OH WELL here's the prompt anyway!

This is what happened that caused Jean to have the dream from the last chapter!

Jean was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, waiting for Armin to finish with his strategist-and-high-commanding-officers-only meeting. They were adjusting the last-minute details of the mission that would be taking place a week from then.

Jean was glad that Armin's intellect and planning skills were finally being appreciated and used as they should be, but now he was being called away from the others more often. The brunette wouldn't mind as much if only he were allowed into the meetings.

The doors opened, and Jean straightened as captain Levi walked by him. He thought the man would not even spare him a glance, but the other actually made eye contact with him before looking away wordlessly. Jean felt slightly uneasy.

Other people left the room, but Jean didn't pay them any attention. Finally Armin walked out. Jean was about to walk towards him but stopped as he took in the boy's appearance. His face was pale and his eyes troubled.

"Armin? You alright?"

The blonde gave a startled jump. A hint of panic laced his eyes as they landed on Jean, but then just became tired.

"Yeah… I'm fine."

Everything pointed to the opposite. Jean noticed that even Armin's hands were shaking. The blonde looked almost too unstable to walk. The brunette gave a step forward, planning on taking hold of one of Armin's arms in case he were to lose his balance, but the boy took a step back and gave a very forced smile.

"You should go have lunch with the others. I… need to go get something from my room."

Jean raised an eyebrow and spoke in an incredulous tone.

"And you'll meet us there after?"

"Yeah, yeah, later…"

His eyes had grown distant and he began to walk away. Jean stayed where he stood as he watched the blonde's retreating form. He couldn't get rid of this heavy feeling forming in his chest.

Armin didn't join them for lunch. He didn't join training later that afternoon either, when the others were informed of the mission's details. Jean expected to hear something bad but it seemed fairly straightforward and he wondered if something was being hidden from them.

It wasn't until dinner time, just when Jean finally had enough and got up from his seat to go search for the blonde, that Armin entered the dining room. All of his friends turned to look at him expectantly, but the blonde had not even noticed. He was staring at the ground as he mechanically walked to his usual seat. Jean frowned at the look of concentration in those blue eyes, as if they were calculating impossible formulas.

"Hey, Armin!" Eren called out, wanting the blonde's attention. "Where have you been?"

Armin blinked and looked up at his childhood friend. He was silent for a moment before giving a weak smile.

"Nowhere. I feel asleep, is all."

"Asleep! Captain Levi would have my butt for that! And yet he didn't seem surprised that you weren't at training!" Everyone turned to look at Connie in surprise at his comment. Then to Armin, hoping for a response, but the blonde seemed to be gone once again, eyes lost. The sight of it seemed to set something boiling inside of Jean. He placed a hand on the blonde's shoulder and shook him lightly.

"Armin." He said with a serious tone. The boy looked at him, and Jean almost swore his eyes became saddened. "What's wrong?"

They maintained eye contact for a few seconds before the blonde looked away.

"It's nothing." He stood up, pulling away from Jean's touch. "I'm going to go get some food."

The moment Armin left, everyone began to talk to each other and asking what they thought was happening with the blonde. Jean just watched Armin leave, realizing that the boiling feeling in his chest was anger.

Frustrated, Jean soon left the dining room. He waited in the shadows as the rest of his comrades eventually left the dining room. Once the blonde got out he held onto Armin's arm and pulled him somewhere they could speak privately.

"Jean…" The blonde whispered, not startled in the slightest. Jean could have sworn that his tone was apologetic.

He let go of Armin's arm the moment he knew they were alone. He stood right before the boy, their faces inches apart.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong now? You've been acting strange since the meeting this morning."

Armin looked down in silence, all but avoiding Jean's gaze.

"I told you I'm f-"

"Oh, don't even try to pretend like you're ok." For an instant, Armin's lip trembled but in a blink it was back to an unreadable expression. They stayed silent for a while, Jean's anger growing. "If you are going to lie to me at least have the decency to look at me when you do."

Slowly, blue eyes gazed up. They looked far too pained and experienced for someone so young. Jean had his own fair share of bad experiences, but in that moment he would have gladly carried all of Armin's for him.

Instinctively his hand rose towards the boy's face, wanting to touch him, comfort him. Armin's eyes caught sight of it, following it as it hesitated and was let back down.

"I really…" Jean muttered, catching Armin's attention. "I'd just thought that… after all we've been through… you'd trust me."

The moment those words escaped his mouth, Jean regretted them. A wounded look appeared on Armin's face. The boy opened his mouth, but his voice seemed to fail him.

"T-that's not… I just…I…" Words become stuck in Armin's throat, and Jean suddenly felt drained.

"Fine." He said emotionlessly, pulling away from the blonde who gave him a pleading look in response. Jean turned away, hurt by the certainty that Armin would not follow him.

The next few days, Jean tried to stay angry at the blonde but found himself simply growing more and more concerned for his wellbeing. He was hardily eating, was distancing himself from the others, and was generally looking unwell.

As the day of the mission grew closer, Armin grew paler, his eyes more distant and clouded. It was obvious to Jean that something was eating at him.

The night before the mission, It was Jean's turn to be pulled into the shadows and to someplace private. He was actually shocked at this, specially when he suddenly found himself in the embrace of a trembling Armin. Before he could snap out of his surprise, Armin let go. He stood close, holding onto Jean's shoulders, and stared right into his eyes. Before the brunette could speak, the blonde left.

As he stood there, Jean knew that something was very very wrong.

Armin was not in his bed the next morning, and no one had seen enter the room the night before. Jean had stared at his empty bed for a long time before exhaustion had taken over him.

"Did he stay up all night?" Jean murmured under his breath as he put on his uniform.

"I'll bet he's getting everything ready for today. Probably more to prepare since he's leading a group."

Jean's eyes widened as he turned to look at Connie.

"Where did you hear that?"

The other shrugged, fiddling with his straps.

"A few people were picked out of their squads. Only 4."

Jean slammed his hand against Connie's bunk, fuming.

"Why the hell did you not tell me?!" To his surprise, Connie scowled back.

"Have you seen yourself lately? You've been out of it for days!" Jean blinked in surprise before looking away and letting his hand fall. He supposed he had been more distant and quiet than usual, but he just couldn't help it. He finally admitted to himself how badly worried he was about Armin.

No one else spoke as they finished getting ready.

As Jean gathered with his squad he couldn't help looking around, trying slightly desperately to spot his precious blonde. Finally he saw him, quite a few meters away, already equipped and set on horseback as he watched the rest get ready.

Then they made eye contact. Armin's eyes widened, showing a sort of vulnerability that he had been keeping away this whole week. Time seemed to stop, neither of them able to look away. It felt like all of the unspoken emotions they held were crossing between them in that moment, and still Jean couldn't name them. It suddenly felt overwhelming.

He looked away.

The mission went as expected. The whole time he never saw Armin's team around.

It wasn't even dark yet when they returned, his team getting off their horses and chatting excitedly, all in good spirits at the day's lack of complications. Even through their cheerful voices, an uneasiness clung to Jean. He looked around for Armin's team.

No one knew where they were. The other squad leaders would pointedly refuse to acknowledge his questions. It was after a few frustrated minutes that he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"They haven't returned."

Jean turned around, startled, to find Captain Levi watching him.

"Sir?"

Levi remained silent, his attitude giving Jean a shot of panic for some reason. His team captain sighed.

"They took a different rout from the rest. There was something they were told to investigate."

Jean didn't understand why his voice sounded full of finality. Defeat.

"W-why would they go alone? It was such a small group! Why didn't we all go together?!"

Then it hit Jean, and Levi closed his eyes before walking away.

A small group… keep casualties to the minimum…

Jean felt his breath knocked out of him.

The next 20 minutes were the longest of his life, as he sat there waiting for the team that had apparently been condemned to never return. He could think of nothing, his mind blank of all but that panic as he stared at the gates, just silently willing them to be opened. At times he was aware of Levi's presence, who would occasionally leave and return without a word.

Then the gates opened, and Jean stood up as if he'd been electrified. Ridding at high speed was Armin's whole team. Out of the corner of his eye Jean could see Levi froze, staring at the members in complete shock.

Jean ran to them, his eyes jumping from face to face. His running came to a stop as he realized the one he was looking for wasn't there.

Armin wasn't there.

The team was breathing hard, fear and adrenalin shining in their eyes. People gathered around them quickly, the squad leaders and officers forcing their way to the front with surprise in their eyes.

Jean didn't know what to do, didn't know what any of it meant, until one of them spoke breathlessly.

"A-armin." They struggled to catch their breath. "Armin stayed behind."

Jean felt his body go numb. He couldn't process what he was hearing.

"Calm down. Breath. Explain yourselves." Erwin suddenly said. The team attempted to pull themselves together, most with tears in their eyes.

"I-I had never seen anything like it… there were so many of them… it was as if they were gathering there." One whispered.

"B-but Armin didn't seem surprised." A boy added, cursing as he struggled to continue. "H-he had even said as we first set off... that if things got bad we all needed to get behind him…"

It was hard to get the rest of the story out of them. Armin had created some sort of device that blocked the titan's path, giving them time to run away, but it used the person itself as the base for it.

As everyone went quiet, Jean turned away to get his horse. Just as he reached it he felt a hand clench his wrist.

"Where do you think you're going."

"Armin is still out there, what do you think I'm doing!?" His voice trembled but Levi did not lessen his grip.

"Stop." Jean ignored him, trying to pull his body onto the horse. "Kirstein."

Jean realized his body did not seem to have the strength to pull itself up. He was shaking all over.

"I need to go to him…" He whispered, desperation clear in his was a moment of silence when Jean almost thought Levi would let him go, then he heard the words that broke him.

"There is nothing to go back to..."

Jean sat down in that corner, that dark secluded place where he had last met with Armin.

No. Where he had met him for the last time.

Jean buried his face against his knees.

It was late, but Jean could not sleep. He had begun to walk around without purpose. His body felt limp, his chest empty yet heavy.

He exited the building, eyes landing on Levi who leaned against the wall, staring at the sky. They did not acknowledge each other's presence but Jean stood at his side and stared ahead in silence.

"...There had been rumors of a titan gathering spot."

Jean's head whipped towards him. Levi looked straight ahead.

"We were able to make a device that could detect big groups of titans. It is mostly useless in the field because it can only detect really big groups. As in Hundreds of titans at a time. That almost never happens... except in that one spot."

Jean paled at the words, feeling sick. He wanted to tell the man to stop, but he knew he had to hear this.

"We got orders from Maria to investigate, but Erwin didn't want to. It was too dangerous. Finally an official was sent last week and forced us to include it in our next programed mission."

Silence ruled the air, then why did there seem to be a ringing in Jean's ears?

"When those kids came back… I was so shocked to see them. There was no way to survive that." Levi murmured quietly, looking down. "Armin tried telling the strategist that, but they just wouldn't listen. Then he…" Levi paused. Jean closed his eyes, waiting for the pain.

"He asked to lead the group."

You're too selfless, Armin... You always were...

Oh, Armin. He wanted to save them... T-T Sorry to end on such a sad note but SNK is a very sad anime so it seems like the kind of thing that would happen XD The next prompt will be much happier! (Well angsty too, but with a good ending!)