A/N: I do not own Blue exorcist by the way and I'll probably keep forgetting to mention that so sorry for that, since I don't really mean to especially since I hate breaking rules and the disclaimer I think it's called is a part of the rules & guidelines. Which I'm glad people actually like this story it's mainly the only one with over a hundred views and actually has followers as well as favorite statistics and the views increases about every hour or two hours since I published it or at least when I started typing this anyway, I thank you very much for that.

Chapter two: Memories of a Demons Past, Part One

Yukios' POV

It was a year and ten months after I found out my brother was executed and when we held the funeral for him that night, I taught class like I normally do but everyone noticed I wasn't the same after we reburied my brother at the cemetery in the same plot that Mephisto showed Shura and Shura showed us. I was informed by Mephisto to head to a sight that was burned and still had flames but I knew and so did everyone else that they weren't normal flames since they wouldn't go out and the demon was still there and seemed very angry so I had to head there with my exorcist students to 'talk' to the demon which was strange since we normally exorcise the demons instead of talk to them.

"Why the Gehenna do we have to head to the forest to talk to a stupid angry demon?" I heard Suguro ask from behind me "I don't know but if Mephisto asks us to do a mission we have to do the mission" I answered him so we can get the mission over with and go back home, I have freakin' papers to grade for Pete's sake. "Hey what's that?" I heard Izumo say which is rare since she hasn't talked much since we found out that Rin was executed, all of us looked to where she was pointing and I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw azure blue flames on a few trees "hey Yukio why did you-" Suguro started to say before he looked in the direction I was looking.

"I thought he was dead" I said in a low whisper but I knew the others heard because they looked at me seeming to have a sympathetic look in their eyes "it's probably just Satan's flames, Rin's dead we all know that" I heard Shima say in a low voice but even with his voice lowered I could tell that he had the same hope that I did even if it was probably a false hope. We started moving again as soon as we remembered that we have a mission to complete, we arrived at a clearing that seemed surrounded by blue flames but when I touched them they didn't burn me at all which confused me and the others since when I pulled my entire hand out of the fire it wasn't burned, scorched, or even showed any sign that it was in a fire.

Then we noticed a silhouette in the midst of the flames in the center of the field "hey you there! demon!" Suguro yelled before I could stop him from opening his mouth than we all noticed that the silhouette looked like it flinched at the word as soon as it came out "I'm guessing you guys are exorcists, no need to hide behind the flames you can step through them they won't hurt you" the silhouette said in a somewhat familiar voice. We stepped through the flames and our clothes weren't even scorched just like with my hand when I placed it in the fire "if I get tortured it's gonna be your fault as well as Mephistos" the demon said not once turning around "Rin is that you?" Suguro asked as he stepped closer to the silhouette.

"So Mephisto showed you, good at least he listened to that I hope he'll do the same thing with everything else I asked him" the demon said as he finally turned around so we could see his face, I gasped when I noticed that it was indeed my brother, he looked the same as he did when he disappeared a year and eleven months ago. "Rin what happened to you? How are you alive?" Suguro asked seeming to be the only one who could talk at the moment "I chose the demonic gate instead of the heaven gate when I died that's why I'm still alive" he said seeming to make Suguro angry "why the Gehenna would you do that?" he asked yelling at my brother "because I was tired and apparently if I die and chose the heaven gate I'll have to relive all the memories of being called a demon" was his only answer before he started talking bout something else.

"Even if I get tortured by my memories like all the other demons in Gehenna do when I don't follow orders it's better than reliving the memories over and over again in everlasting repeat" he said and I noticed the tears glistening in the corner of his eyes "what do you mean demons in Gehenna? aren't all demons in Gehenna?" Suguro asked confused just like everyone else seems to be "most the demons in Gehenna only do the things they do because it's all they know how to do since the torture they endure imprints itself in their memories so they don't forget what happens when they disobey their higher up. The ones in Assiah are good ones that cause little mischief, the ones that do only possess humans when they're bored or have nothing else to do, they don't ever hurt the human host though, the only ones that harm the human hosts are exorcists" he answered Suguro who has a surprised expression at the new information that Rin gave us and I think the same goes for me and every other one of my exorcists here.

"Okay I think it's time for me to go I have to kill that stupid demon" Rin said making me very confused and surprised that he said that "wait why do you seem close to crying Rin aren't you a full demon?" Suguro asked making Rin shutter when he said that "actually the one thing that the demon failed to mention is that I would become full demon but my soul will stay, I'm a rarity in the demon world… a demon with a human soul" he answered with what sounds like a dry nonexistent laugh after. "Rin aren't you supposed to be on a mission?" a voice that sounds oddly familiar to me said, all of us turned to the voice but Rin seemed to freeze when the voice sounded "sorry father I was just on my way there, I had to clear something up with the people here first so they won't try to kill me" Rin said seeming to calm down a bit before the pure white wolf started laughing a dry laugh just like the one Rin did except with more amusement "do you want to receive punishment? maybe I can bring your new friends with you" the wolf said seeming to be smiling a bit but his eyes showed that of pain which confused a bit.

Suguros' POV

Is that a wolf? Wolves don't talk what the Gehenna is going on here? First I find out that Rin's alive and that exorcists hurt the people that are possessed and then the next thing I know is that a wolf is talking to Rin about a punishment or whatever and has to do with us watching it. "Okay but please don't show them something that hurts way worse than usual" I heard Rin answer the wolf before the scenery around us changed to a place somewhere in town.

"Demon, monster, whatever you are, why are you even alive? Why couldn't you save her? You were right next to her why didn't you save her?" a kid with short black hair and blue eyes yelled at someone stealing my attention towards a lot of kids crowding along the opposite side of a street from where me and the others are at, then I noticed a kid was looking at a spot on the road I looked to where the kid was looking seeing nothing really wrong that would cause the kids to yell at him, I walked over to the crowd and saw that the scene started to change to a different vision but it was the same scenery as before. I looked to where the kid was looking at again and I noticed that there was blood and a body where I saw nothing before. "That is what the kids are seeing, what you saw before was what Rin and the passerby's saw" the wolf said seeming to smirk at the vision.

The boy in the middle of the street just stared at the spot where the blood and body were lying and I felt very bad for the kid who I don't even know. "I couldn't I tried but I just passed through her, I didn't mean to" the boy said seeming to let silent tears fall before I think realizing she wasn't real, "didn't you see her static as I went through her? she wasn't real she was never real" the boy said still silently crying. "You should just die if you can't even save a little girl from a bus when she was right next to you and of course she was real do you think we're idiots?" I heard and saw the boy from earlier scream before the scene changed again but we weren't in the forest, all I saw was a black void, 'where are we?' I wondered before I heard Ren talk again.

Rins' POV

"Demon, monster, whatever you are, why are you even alive? Why couldn't you save her? You were right next to her why didn't you save her?" a kid with short black hair and blue eyes yelled at me as I stared at a place not covered in blood. "I couldn't I tried but I just passed through her, I didn't mean to" I said letting silent tears fall before I realized she wasn't real, "didn't you see her static as I went through her? she wasn't real she was never real" I said still silently crying. "You should just die if you can't even save a little girl from a bus when she was right next to you and of course she was real do you think we're idiots?" the boy still screamed. I really wish during the torture that I didn't have to actually relive, relive my past I feel all the emotions and pain that I felt that day but not the days after or before.

"I changed my mind I don't want them to see this just stop, please just stop" I pleaded with my father crying a little but not enough for my voice to choke "are you sure? There's also the last time you were called a demon, when you awakened, when your brother told you to die, when you were ignored again that really broke you in more ways than one, there's also the similar ones" my father said quite sadly but with a glimmer in his eyes. "No, no not again I'll listen, I was trying to listen to your orders but I kept talking I'm sorry father" I said still slightly crying "ok son I'm sorry just please stop crying I hate to see you cry" father said as he licked my face a bit which made me laugh "ok father, I really am sorry though I'll go kill the traitor demon now, you should turn demon again and head back home you still have work to do, do you not?" I said/asked as I stood up from my position on the ground and took down the illusion from a black void in between my memories to reveal the forest we never left. "Yes I do now please kill Acheyon and be careful you may be my son but he is strong I'd rather have my heir come home safe and sound than in a body bag" he said in response "ok father now shoo work must be done on both sides" I said pushing him slightly when he turned around.

"Bye son be careful, oh and Yukio you be careful as well, along with your students" he said smiling at me and Yukio but frowning at my friends "father" I warned "okay, okay I'm going" he said as he scurried off in the direction of the Gehenna gate. "Phew at least tortures over I don't need to see those again let alone have you guys see them" I said slightly shaking as the memories flooded back "oww oww oww" I said as a sharp pain hit the top of my spinal cord again "Rin you ok?" I heard my brother ask from behind me finally saying something. "Yea I'm fine I probably should've told you that if I start to remember something from before I was a full demon a sharp pain would hit the top of my spinal cord" I said as I headed to where Acheyon was last sighted "wait, stop right there, where are you going?" I heard Suguro ask in a louder voice than necessary "to kill Acheyon, duh" I said as I started walking again, but I was stopped by a hand grabbing my shoulder that had me spinning around to face the person that grabbed my shoulders. "What was that?" he asked with a facial expression I noticed as an expression mixed with confusion and anger the same expression I saw many times before I met the Gehenna hound "that was the memory of when I was first called a demon, that girl was a figment of my brothers dreams the exact replica of what mom looked like when she was four, it was also the first time I was scared of my brother" I said looking down at the ground.

"Wait you were scared of me? Why? When?" my brother asked in a shocked tone that matched his expression "yes I was scared of you, but I still protected you even though your dream was the one that first made me want to commit suicide, I was in elementary school I think when it happened" I answered his question as I looked back at the ground "now I have to go I don't want to see all the others, I can't see all the others" I said as I started to walk away from the people that seemed frozen in their spots. I stopped when I finally remembered something though, "oh! Before I leave will you tell Mephisto to tell you why I decided to choose execution and such before you forget what has transpired between us?" I asked the exorcists as I started walking again before I was stopped again by a voice behind me "how are you smart enough to even know that word?" I heard Suguro ask. "I was always smart in school even back then, but I couldn't be smarter than my brother or else he would have nothing, I don't care what happens to me as long as my friends and family are happy or safe or both. I didn't care that the teachers never 'helped' me in school or that I got bullied for being what I am and acting like it to as well as acting like an idiot, just as long as my brother got something in return for me doing nothing but being a burden and a demon" I said as they said nothing, because they said nothing I started walking so I wouldn't get into trouble again. "Remember what I said about telling brother that it's time to show you what happened in my past" I said as I disappeared behind the hill that was in front of me.

Third person POV

"Mephisto what the Gehenna is going on here?" Suguro yelled making a puff of light pink smoke appear right in front of him causing him to jump backwards "why did you yell my name? I mean seriously I was having so much fun watching the show from up there" the demon said in an irritated tone but smiled right after "now to finish what my baby brother asked of me" the demon still smiled but a lot wider than before. "What do you mean the rest of what my brother told you?" Yukio asked making Mephisto turn his head towards his other baby brother "well baby brother the other memories that weren't showed to you by our father" Mephisto said still smiling but it turned to a frown when he realized that he had to watch his brother go through more pain.

"Although I'm gonna hate seeing my brother go through more pain" Mephisto said a frown still marring his features "what do you mean go through more pain?" Izumo asked now able to talk because her surprise had her frozen before, "do you really think that Suguro calling him names and a black haired kid would make him want to become a demon? he has more walls around his heart and soul than that" Mephisto said after he turned his head towards Izumo, "what do you mean by walls?" Shima asked getting through the same thing that Izumo did "I mean just like everyone else in the world Ren has walls around his heart and soul to keep them from shattering, Suguro calling Ren names and such in class was what caused the last wall to break and his heart and soul to shatter" Mephisto answered the question Shima asked but the others were asking themselves.

"Ok now which ones do you want to see first? the ones that were like the one father showed you, Rens awakening, when Yukio told him he should die, or when the Gehenna hound told him he was more demon than human" Mephisto said his frown turning up slightly at the last memory he mentioned, "one of the others that Satan showed us" Konekomaru said getting over the fact that Ren seemed to be very different from the last time he seen him. "Which one though? there are about five others" Mephisto said surprising most of the others except Izumo since she didn't want to show anymore weakness "ok Izumo it is then" Mephisto said as he snapped his fingers and a small house appeared in front of us and it looked to be on fire.

'What this is a lot like a dream I had about my mother after I saw a photo of her when she was four' Izumo had thought before the fire went out and they could all see inside "hey demon what are you doing I thought you said you would get her out of there?" a kid yelled from a safe distance from where the fire used to be "I'm-cough- trying but I-cough- can't reach her" a kid said as we were brought to the second floor of the cottage. "What is this?" Izumo asked very confused at the vision "Konekomaru asked about his second memory like the one Satan showed you before, well this is it" Mephisto said throwing his arms in front of him for emphasis "I know that but why does this look so familiar to me?" she asked again making Mephisto smirk "because this is what your dream did to Ren, just like all the others everything that happens to the people who aren't real are illusions of all of your dreams" Mephisto said surprising all the exorcists.

"No!" the small boy yelled as a beam covered in fire fell upon the four year old girl "what happened demon? you said you were gonna prove us wrong and save Tamamo" the kid on the ground yelled to the top floor after the small boy had yelled, "I tried but a beam fell on her and she di-" the small boy said before the flames dissolved and the girl along with them. "What just happened?" Sheimi said just as confused as most of the others, "did you guys understand nothing from what I said not that long ago?" Mephisto asked very annoyed and sad knowing that one of Rens walls has broken around his heart "I did" Suguro, Izumo, and Yukio said at almost the exact same time surprising them a bit.

"Ok then one of you explain it" Mephisto said as he watched Ren walk out of the room and down the halls to the stairs to meet the other kids "it was a dream of mine about my mother when she was four, I guess it coupled with how she died by Satan" Izumo said surprising the others with how her mother died "so it was an illusion to the kids including Ren until she died?" Sheimi asked a frown lining her lips as she remembered the first of Rens memories like this one. "Yes now how did we get down here?" Shima asked as he looked around everyone else did the same thing just to notice that they were on the ground in front of the crowd of kids outside of the cottage "hey kid where's Tamamo?" a girl with long ruby red hair asked the small boy they now know is Ren "she wasn't real" was all Ren said knowing that he would pay something for it just like the last time it happened.

Except instead of getting yelled at he was slapped and then yelled at "she was my friend and she was real, why didn't you save her?" the same girl asked after she slapped him hard on his left cheek, "she acts a lot like Izumo" Shima said without realizing that he said it aloud "I do not" Izumo snapped after doing the exact same thing the girl did "Ariel I did try to save her but the fire dissolved with Tamamo no longer there" was the last thing that Ren said and the last thing that the exorcists heard before the vision was replaced by a familiar black void. "Now for a new memory, what are you in the mood for?" Mephisto asked sadly knowing that they weren't in the mood for any other memories "are all the memories like this?" Yukio asked finally talking "most yes, would you like to see these memories first or go from different memories to ones like these?" Mephisto asked the exorcists.

"What are the other memories?" Suguro asked Mephisto who just stared at him and the others as the memories pass through his pupils, "a school shooting, suicide, homicide, car accident, when he was enrolled as an exwire into Yukios class, when his brother told him to die, when he awakened, when he was told he was more demon than human, etc." Mephisto said very bored and sad about his brothers memories as everyone else stood shocked. "so which ones do you want first?" Mephisto asked sadly "the ones in that order but not the part about Yukio telling him to die Yukio can just tell us that part" Izumo said and everyone nodded all except Yukio of course "here we go" Konekomaru said as a purple line swirled into a figure split into two scenes to reveal a classroom and what surprised them was a rooftop with Ren accompanied with a guy in his early twenties with a gun pointed at the classroom.

"What is this?" Yukio asked very surprised to see half a classroom "this is the dream that... wait can anyone guess whose dream this is?" Mephisto asked not really knowing whose dream it is "those are the kids who always treated Suguro badly after the Blue Night" Shima said receiving awkward looks from everyone before they all turned to a stunned Suguro. "Is this your dream Suguro?" Konekomaru asked hoping that it wasn't true "I saw them die in a dream I had when I was younger but they didn't die like that" he answered Konekomaru before a shout sounded in the right scene as they were pushed in and almost all of them landed face first onto the roof. "What are you doing aren't you going to stop him? or are you truly the demon everyone calls you?" a red haired girl wearing blue cut denim jeans and a white top with a big red heart in the front that on her makes her look older than she actually is "like I could stop him inhuman strength doesn't help against something I can't even touch" Ren said seeming to break a bit on the inside little to everyone's knowledge except for Mephisto, Suguro, Yukio, and Izumo that he actually was breaking a little on the inside.

"Did everyone really expect him to do so much at such a young age?" Sheimi asked no one in particular "what do you mean by did Sheimi? everyone still expects so much from him even when he was still at True Cross" Mephisto answered very confused at her question and it definitely showed in his voice and expression the next thing they knew was that they were pushed into the other scene and saw bullets shoot towards and pass them in what they suspect to be purposely in slow motion as they heard screams and everything but the building, furniture, and teacher disappear then they were again switched to the other scene again making many of them sick with all the switching they had to do. "It seems like you really can't do anything except be a demon I mean seriously you can't save a few people from a sniper shooting" the blood haired girl said staring wide eyed towards the building where the shooting was aimed "what do you think I could do I said I could help others and not hurt them I never said I would be able to save them from a fire, shooting, etc. just that I could help them" they all heard a voice echo around them like it was played through a sound system "Terre I never said I could save a whole class from a supernatural shooting" Ren said sounding bored but they could tell his voice was cracking from what she had told him.

"Yeah right you could've just pushed him off the building" the girl said smirking just as Suguro said that it would kill Ren if he did that "it may kill you but it would help your family a whole lot" just then they all heard a crash like glass shattering and at the same time Ren seemed to cough up blood which made the girls smirk, the girls then left but the vision of Rens past stayed and a young four year old Suguro appeared in front of Ren surprising him and all the others when he appeared. "This is what you get for all of what you caused your family and your future friends you idiot" the young boy said making Ren cringe as he said it "I don't have friends and I never will that's the price of being a demon as well as having no real home or family, family can be blood and they can have fights but they shouldn't try to kill you" Ren said making all of the exorcists gasp and turn to Yukio.

"I didn't try to kill him" Yukio said wide eyed at his brother "oh on the contrary baby brother you did try without even realizing it, but that I will answer later on" Mephisto said sadly but had a devilish smirk on his face "oh you are so right in that Ren, I'm guessing you had other encounters like this as well when all your tormentors left you to sulk" young Suguro stated but it sounded more like a question than a statement. "Of course and because of that I know your a kid who wants someone dead deep down and you intend to make my life a living Gehenna, if only that could be now but it won't so might as well keep my mask on, have a nice dream I'm sure it's way better than the one I wish I'm having good bye" Ren said and the dark void finally appeared but with dark purple swirls everywhere.

A/N: I know this is shorter than my other ones but it's as much as I can do when I got no sleep last night and this morning plus I'm naturally tired anyway, and I could keep writing but then I'd forget to ask you something.

I was wondering if you could review if you want me to add to the reasons why Suguros words hurt Ren so much such as liking Suguro as more than a friend it would very much help since I have a few more story ideas where Ren likes Suguro I just haven't written them yet.

please review an answer you don't really have to though especially since I have about two or more chapters before the exorcists and Ren talk again so no hurry or any hurry at all since you don't have to. I hope you like this story so far I'm pretty sure I published this chapter a little late for my liking so sorry for that.